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Man, I should read women's magazines more often

#1



JCM

Or again, maybe not - but damn Im scared of women who might believe this stuff-

Women’s magazines have come under fire in recent years, and for good reason. It’s taken a long time, and many hurt women, but these so-called publications are all getting called out more and more frequently for spewing loads of hot air — and often outright lies — to their readers. Spending no more than five minutes reading one of these rags can be enough to cause mild brain-damage, with the sheer amount of bad advice regurgitated month after month. We went through a few months’ worth of all the worst offenders, and honestly the effect is probably worse than sniffing glue — but we’ve got results. These are the 15 absolute worst lies that all women’s magazines tell — they’ve got millions of readers, so it may be a little scary. Women Must Live (And Act Out) Abroad

Women’s magazines love to come from the overwhelmingly pretentious standpoint that any woman who hasn’t spent a summer in Paris is basically an illiterate housewife in a trailer-park. Over and over again, the idea is drilled in that women who’ve gotten married without first sleeping with a different man in another country are destined to a failed marriage, as they couldn’t possibly have made the right choice without knowing how a foreigner is in bed first.
“What He Says During Sex”

A classic, this overcooked contrivance rears its ugly head at least once a quarter. The offending magazines splash the phrase across the cover, and have a graphic-loaded guide somewhere in the issue that breaks men down and classifies them according to a stereotypical verbalization made during sex. In a shameless ploy to sell magazines, these people tell women that if a man grunts during sex, he’s goal-oriented, if he’s quiet or breathing hard, he’s got emotional issues, and if he’s vocal, he’s stupid and probably shallow. Women believe this stuff, because the authors and editors attribute information to bogus names of doctors and professors who likely don’t exist, or if they do exist, the info’s often misquoted or just plain bad.
Fake New-Age Practices Can Make Women Look Younger (And Have Better Sex)

Women’s magazines love to insist that, along with just about everything else in the universe, 15 minutes of half-assed yoga or drinking green tea once a day will take years off a woman’s face, 30 lbs. off her physique, and lead to better sex. Everything leads to better sex in women’s magazines, it’s their core selling point for the crackpot advice they dole out. The most heinous thing about this isn’t that they constantly ascribe impossibly positive outcomes to such miniscule effort, but that they inspire millions of women to run around acting like they’re some sort of zen master because they sat on the floor for a few minutes without speaking. Actually following any sort of regimen would be too much to ask of most of their readers, never mind the fact that it would take several servings of tea and actual meditation training to accomplish anything at all.
Yogurt, Granola, Fruits and Veggies Make Fat Girls Slim

There’s a fine line to walk when pushing the idea of eating healthy — on one side there’s “eat all you want, it’s healthy!” — on the other, there’s honesty. All the granola, fruit, greens and yogurt in the world can’t save an overweight person from being overweight without exercise and moderation. Women’s magazines like to ignore overwhelming obesity statistics; there’s no such thing as an overweight girl in their universe, so it’s absurd to think any girl would ever be any more than five pounds overweight at any given point in time.
“What He’s Really Thinking”

These are nothing short of amazing. The situation ranges from “when he sees you naked” to “the first time you have sex” all the way to “when he says he loves you.” When magazines like Cosmo try to tell women what men are thinking, the bottom line is that it’s just plain insulting to every man alive. The garbage they print as the thoughts of men are usually an amalgam of the most trite, clueless, one-dimensional quotes from the most hapless characters in college frat-humor movies.
Women Should Act on Every Impulse and Call it Instinct

More women every year turn against the magazines and their readers because of this one; they basically advocate that women should do whatever they want, when they want, regardless of who they may hurt in doing so. Why? Because they’re women and they should act on every impulse, because those impulses are womanly instincts and they can’t possibly be happy without acting on them. These gems of advice range from quitting a good job on a whim, to basically becoming a prostitute because it sounds fun at the time. In the universe that women’s magazines operate in, everyone is a spoiled little girl with a trust fund to fall back on, and absolutely no morals whatsoever.
Plastic Surgery and Botox are Great, Quick & Clean

The glorification of plastic surgery and botox treatment is pretty much agreed upon by anyone with a brain to be a bad thing, but women’s magazines consistently treat them like beauty secrets, or only mention them in passing, but in a positive light. The sad thing here is that the countless women who actually read these rags tend to think that because the magazine either promotes or glamorizes these things, that they’re not just good, but normal. More and more women are starting to regard these things the same way they talk about changing their hair-color.
Touting Pseudo-Science as Fully Legitimate

These people love to write off modern medicine and science on a regular basis, and part of that is in their insistence that women can fix any ailment, anything at all, with a cup of tea, a dose of echinacea, and happy thoughts. They bust out the prefab quotes, complete with either crackpot “doctors” or just flat-out fake names, and act like hospitals only exist for broken bones.
The Right Sports Bra Can Turn Lazy Women Into Decathletes

The Sex and the City tone that’s so pervasive in all women’s magazines can lead to some pretty outrageous stupidity, but one of the funniest and most egregious is the idea that women can do anything — so long as they’re outfitted with the proper (designer) clothing, shoes, and accessories. Editors for these things get piles, literally piles of free stuff from soliciting companies looking to get plugged, so it’s no big deal when they act like the newest pumps will allow women to run 20 miles without even feeling the burn, or that the newest, ultralight, super-underwired designer sports bra will turn the laziest girl on the block into a star runner just by efficiently cupping her assets.
It’s a Woman’s Right to be Overly-Emotional, at All Times

The idea that women are ridiculously overly-emotional because of their genetics is heavily ingrained into these magazines. They constantly tell women that in order to be happy, they need to express themselves, and they don’t mean to a healthy extent, either. If women followed them to the letter, they’d spend all day, every day, expressing themselves emotionally. It’s funny to think that men usually get stuck with the unpleasant stereotype of constant chauvinism, when these magazines themselves belittle women more than the best Burt Reynolds movie.
“Why He Likes X Position”

These are probably the most entertainingly wrong of all the “why he X” type articles these magazines put out. First of all, they constantly change the accepted names of sexual positions, largely because they run the same article repeatedly throughout the year and have to change it somehow to make it seem like something new. This makes it even funnier, since one month they may say that men like it on bottom because they’re “givers,” while three months later it might say that they’re weak, or even “effeminate.” In order for women to appreciate these articles they must abandon all past experience, as well as common sense.
“Green” Handbags Will Save the World

The green craze is huge in the women’s magazine industry, largely due to the massive amount of ad money that pours in when they go heavy on the Vitamin Water and Prius adverts. Piggybacking on that, they basically go all out and get women to believe that they can save the world by buying designer handbags made out of …garbage. While recycled purses are no new thing, and there are even some that are respectably ingenious, the magazines tend to glam them up and turn the whole thing into just another exercise in designer purses. In the end, all that’s changed is the amount of pretentious young women who use a reusable plastic Starbucks coffeecup, and wear a purse that’s supposedly carbon-neutral. Not exactly the stuff of the Planeteers.
Jobs Are For Personal Fulfillment; Women Are Entitled to the Jobs of Their Choosing

Going along with the constant pushing to be more impulsive, women’s magazines promote the idea that women should up and leave their job not just on a whim, but because they deserve better. According to them, women should get whatever job they want, anywhere, and they shouldn’t ever have to actually qualify or even apply for the position. Companies should come seeking them, because they’re women, and they deserve it. Never is the issue of actual merit or education ever brought up; somehow everyone who works at these places managed to go through life without ever actually working toward anything.
A Manicure and Latte Can Fix Anything

Much like the idea that a cup of green tea can take a year off a woman’s face, or that echinacea can cure any sickness when mixed with happy thoughts, women’s magazines love to insist that no matter how bad a stressful event may be, a latte (also made out to be something overly effective) and a manicure can fix it. Actually coping with a problem, or attempting to fix it in any way, is verboten. In their universe, women aren’t supposed to try and fix anything. Everything just fixes itself, all on its own.
No, You Can Never Look Like That

Last, but certainly not least; women’s magazines are rightfully blamed by many the world over for skewing women’s views of themselves and others in such a way that borders on criminal. Relentless airbrushing of any picture of any woman on any page in their publications, flat-out lies about diet plans and best eating practices, mild to heavy glamorization of the worst diets and flat-out unhealthy eating practices all lead to more and more women hating their bodies, and themselves. These magazines show no remorse when a girl dies of anorexia or bulimia, because they’d rather act like that sort of thing never happens. They’re out to make money on the insecurities they create year after year as they hook readers, who are getting younger every year. Men’s magazines may have a tendency to be nothing but a wad of adverts for expensive watches, galleries of half-naked girls, and dirty jokes — but at least they’re honest.
:shocked:


#2



Wasabi Poptart

About 15 years ago, I used to read Cosmo religiously. The more I read, the worse I felt about myself. I wasn't thin enough. I wasn't pretty enough. I didn't have nice hair or wear make-up properly. I didn't know all the tricks to get a guy to fall utterly and blindly in love with me. Then, thankfully, I realized that magazine was full of bullshit and I didn't need their "advice" because I was pretty damn awesome without it.

Plus I always love the ones like Family Circle that give you diet tips from Jane who lost over 100 pounds, then on the next page have a recipe for the "better than sex" chocolate cake. lol


#3

doomdragon6

doomdragon6

I don't understand how, for example, the girl in the last picture, is considered "fat." That's a sexy weight to be at. Curves are nice. When I see a girl like that who complains about being fat, I'm like, "What the hell? Are you serious?" Women are too insecure, quite possibly from stuff like this.


#4



Kitty Sinatra

I like women's magazines. I don't read the articles, though, just look at the pictures.

I still think it's odd the same thing works for men's magazines.


#5



JCM

I don't understand how, for example, the girl in the last picture, is considered "fat." That's a sexy weight to be at. Curves are nice. When I see a girl like that who complains about being fat, I'm like, "What the hell? Are you serious?" Women are too insecure, quite possibly from stuff like this.
It was from a very poignant series of ads against anorexia/media manipulation of what is beauty entitled "talk to your daughter before the media does", I could only find others of the same series -



#6

GasBandit

GasBandit

:frusty:


#7

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

I am quite certain that the magazine telemarketing company where I regularly worked my summers stopped ordering Cosmopolitan (one of the mags we sold) to the break room after I called bullshit on one of the "101 Best Sex Tips". It included what I have come to term as "creative use of a donut".


#8

ElJuski

ElJuski

I don't understand how, for example, the girl in the last picture, is considered "fat." That's a sexy weight to be at. Curves are nice. When I see a girl like that who complains about being fat, I'm like, "What the hell? Are you serious?" Women are too insecure, quite possibly from stuff like this.
Honestly, she may be chubby. But that's fine.

Anyway, a woman's image...motherofgod, has that been destroyed by thousands of years of social-norms and--especially in this day and age--people aiming to cash in on a quick buck by broad stereotypes and generalizations of women. It's all fucking stupid, and people perpetuate these beliefs because they've got nothing else to go on.

You know, like their own individual personalities.


#9

fade

fade

I hate Dove's "real beauty" campaign. I really do. Their answer to the appearance of women in the media (a word people LOVE to vilify lately)...is to offer their own opinion of what women should look like. They make it seem like no one looks like the models do, which I've countered before must mean they've never walked around a college campus. Or a high school for that matter. And what does that tell the girls and women who are thin and pretty? That they're not real? That's worse than displaying an ideal. Things like Dove's movement tend to conveniently overlook the health problems associated with obesity, too, because overweight is apparently more "real".

Also, since when is an ideal something you have to be? What makes tv and ad images of women any more of a goal that absolutely must be achieved lest your mind be broken than any other cultural ideal? I mean, we laud stories of heroes and archetypes, but there's no massive effort to stamp out the hero story to keep people from having their feelings hurt if they don't reach those goals. They're still manipulated ideals. It's pretty sexist of companies like Dove to assume that your daughter's fragile female psyche is going to be irrevocably shattered because she can't tell the difference between an airbrushed photo and reality.


#10

GasBandit

GasBandit

Look, women. Don't listen to any of that crap. It's very simple how to be happy and successful. You need to be 3 things: Friendly, sweet, and digestib.. er, accessible. And accessible, yes.


#11

Adam

Adammon

I don't understand how, for example, the girl in the last picture, is considered "fat." That's a sexy weight to be at. Curves are nice. When I see a girl like that who complains about being fat, I'm like, "What the hell? Are you serious?" Women are too insecure, quite possibly from stuff like this.
Honestly, she may be chubby. But that's fine.[/QUOTE]

:brick:

She's not chubby. She's an average kid.

It's not just women's self-image that is destroyed by our media's insatiable appetite for unattainable norms, but also men's image for what women should be.

All of that said, I still believe people should care about their bodies and at least attempt to be fit and healthy.


#12

fade

fade

"Average" and "chubby" can both be true. I don't doubt chubby is average in the US given our massive overeating and sedentary lifestyle.


#13



Kitty Sinatra

Look, women. Don't listen to any of that crap. It's very simple how to be happy and successful. You need to be 3 things: Friendly, sweet, and digestib.. er, accessible. And accessible, yes.
Actually, Gassy, you're kinda right when you say digestible. I absolutely prize a woman who can cook.


#14

checkeredhat

checkeredhat

I don't understand how, for example, the girl in the last picture, is considered \"fat.\" That's a sexy weight to be at. Curves are nice. When I see a girl like that who complains about being fat, I'm like, \"What the hell? Are you serious?\" Women are too insecure, quite possibly from stuff like this.
It was from a very poignant series of ads against anorexia/media manipulation of what is beauty entitled "talk to your daughter before the media does", I could only find others of the same series -

[/QUOTE]

These ads gave me a newfound respect for Dove. Then I found out it was the same company that made AXE.
http://www.unilever.com/brands/ouradvertising/



#15

Cajungal

Cajungal

Fade, do you realize that they include thin women in their campaign? One of their models was a slender girl with red hair and freckles. I'm not sure if she's still one of them, but she was there at one point. They use old women, young women, women of different ethnicities, and yes, heavier women, too. I'd agree with you if they hadn't used so many different types of women in their ads, because I hate that every plus size clothes shop I visit overuses the terms "goddess" and "real woman." So... only fat women are real? I'm supposed to be applauded for stuffing my face with simple carbohydrates for a year with no regard for my health? Now, some women have a harder time losing excess weight just like some women struggle to gain, and it IS a shame when any woman doesn't feel good about herself. It's nice that they're trying to present different types of beauty. Ideally, that kind of influence starts at home.... a home with none of those idiotic magazines and plenty of healthy realism.


#16

Cajungal

Cajungal

^The real shame about the Campaign is that they probably air brush and touch up as much as real ads do. There was this great picture that Jamie Lee Curtis did in SOME magazine after being praised for being pretty by someone. This was years ago... but she stood in front of a camera in a plain black bra and panties, no makeup, no hair products, and no high heels. She had short little legs, a soft tummy, and old-looking skin. On the next page she was all made up and touched up by the camera. The difference was crazy.


#17

Espy

Espy

I hate Dove's "real beauty" campaign. I really do. Their answer to the appearance of women in the media (a word people LOVE to vilify lately)...is to offer their own opinion of what women should look like. They make it seem like no one looks like the models do, which I've countered before must mean they've never walked around a college campus. Or a high school for that matter. And what does that tell the girls and women who are thin and pretty?
Won't someone think of the thin and pretty girls! This one little ad in the face of the onslaught of the normal media portrayal of women as perfectly thin and tanned and sexy might make them all feel so bad and stuff!

Seriously man, I know you are a smart guy but maybe you need to go spend some time in a place that deals with girls eating disorders or at least read up on it so you can understand the unhealthy effects this kind of stuff can have on girls. I'm not saying we should force anyone to not use models in their advertising/tv/movies but if you think that it can't have an impact on women (and I would argue men's views of women and sexuality and what is attractive) and their bodies and eating habits and mental state you are kidding yourself.


#18

Cajungal

Cajungal

^To add to that thought, I just visited their campaign website, and young girls are invited to make testimonies about their improved self esteem. A lot of them are thinner girls.

It's not just weight that girls worry about. It's hair color, skin color, facial marks like birthmarks and freckles, teeth... the list goes on and on. Even the most healthy and beautiful person probably sees something wrong with him or herself that no one might even notice.


#19

Espy

Espy

And to add to the "thin and pretty girls" thing, one being "thin and pretty" does not, in ANY way mean one has a good image of themselves. Most of those hot girls Fade is talking about seeing in high schools and college campus' are dealing with their own issues and having Megan Fox's perfectly made up body thrust in their face as WHAT GUY'S DEMAND IF YOU WANT TO BE VALUED BY THEM isn't helpful, which, like it or not is the message that gets sent by many of these women's magazines not mention TV and movies.


#20



makare

I really enjoy reading women's magazine. I don't read them often because they are ridiculously expensive, I think, but I do enjoy them when I can. I have never felt bad about myself after reading them and I don't ever recall reading an article about a woman getting a job just because she is a woman regardless of merit. They are not academic or scientific journals but I don't see them as the evil things so many seem to. They are just, what's the word, frivolous fun. I guess if someone took them incredibly seriously than that would be dangerous but I honestly don't see how anyone could.


#21

GasBandit

GasBandit

... a woman getting a job just because she is a woman regardless of merit.
Prostitution?


#22



makare

I was referring to articles in the magazines not mentioning that women should get jobs regardless of merit.

However, and don't get to excited Gas, but there ARE male prostitutes.


#23

GasBandit

GasBandit

I was referring to articles in the magazines not mentioning that women should get jobs regardless of merit.

However, and don't get to excited Gas, but there ARE male prostitutes.
Yeah, but unlike their female counterparts, the male ones have to do something other than be what their gender is. ;)


#24

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

Seriously man, I know you are a smart guy
His post could've fooled me.

I'd love him to point out which of the Dove ad girls are obese, because I didn't see any of them as even being chubby.


#25



Kitty Sinatra

Were any of them under 100 lb? No? Then they're all obese.


#26

GasBandit

GasBandit

Were any of them under 100 lb? No? Then they're all obese.
Yeah, that's like an extra hour's cooking time, and who has time for that?


#27



Kitty Sinatra

:wtf:

What's up with you and cannibalism today?


#28

GasBandit

GasBandit

:wtf:

What's up with you and cannibalism today?
I have discovered my life's ambition is not just to see you all dead, but use you for nourishment as well.


#29

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

:wtf:

What's up with you and cannibalism today?
Either he's trying to get into Shego's panties or he's been reading A Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift again...


#30

checkeredhat

checkeredhat

:wtf:

What's up with you and cannibalism today?
Either he's trying to get into Shego's panties or he's been reading A Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift again...[/QUOTE]

My theory is that Gas takes up a new vice for himself every New Years Eve in order to give it up for his New Years Resolution.


#31



Iaculus

(looks up from steaming platter of longpig).

Cannibalism's a vice now?


#32

Espy

Espy

(looks up from steaming platter of longpig).

Cannibalism's a vice now?
Well, one man's deviancy is anthers social norm.


#33

checkeredhat

checkeredhat

(looks up from steaming platter of longpig).

Cannibalism's a vice now?
Well, one man's deviancy is anthers social norm.[/QUOTE]

Dammit you beat me to it.


#34



makare

I was referring to articles in the magazines not mentioning that women should get jobs regardless of merit.

However, and don't get to excited Gas, but there ARE male prostitutes.
Yeah, but unlike their female counterparts, the male ones have to do something other than be what their gender is. ;)[/QUOTE]

I don't think so. All a male prostitute really has to do is bring his penis to the party and he's in.

Im not sure what that "something other than be what their gender is" is referring to actually.


#35



Dusty668

Who's Anther?


#36



Chazwozel

I don't understand how, for example, the girl in the last picture, is considered "fat." That's a sexy weight to be at. Curves are nice. When I see a girl like that who complains about being fat, I'm like, "What the hell? Are you serious?" Women are too insecure, quite possibly from stuff like this.

Dude, she's fat.

...Alright, maybe not all that fat, but she's got that frumpy-type face that makes me want to gag.


#37



Chazwozel

I don't understand how, for example, the girl in the last picture, is considered "fat." That's a sexy weight to be at. Curves are nice. When I see a girl like that who complains about being fat, I'm like, "What the hell? Are you serious?" Women are too insecure, quite possibly from stuff like this.
Honestly, she may be chubby. But that's fine.

Anyway, a woman's image...motherofgod, has that been destroyed by thousands of years of social-norms and--especially in this day and age--people aiming to cash in on a quick buck by broad stereotypes and generalizations of women. It's all fucking stupid, and people perpetuate these beliefs because they've got nothing else to go on.

You know, like their own individual personalities.[/QUOTE]


So you're a National Geographic titties kinda guy, aren't ya?


#38

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

I don't understand how, for example, the girl in the last picture, is considered "fat." That's a sexy weight to be at. Curves are nice. When I see a girl like that who complains about being fat, I'm like, "What the hell? Are you serious?" Women are too insecure, quite possibly from stuff like this.

Dude, she's fat.

...Alright, maybe not all that fat, but she's got that frumpy-type face that makes me want to gag.[/QUOTE]

.


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