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Ode to a Lost Beard

#1

Calleja

Calleja

Oh man.

We need a minute of silence, please.

I was using the clippers to just trim my righteous totally chick-digged beard.... and then, the unthinkable. A twitch, a spasm, intervention from Satan; call it what you will. Whatever it was, it shaved a rectangular spot right off from my cheek.

I know, I know, I'll give you a few seconds to compose yourselves. There, there.

So, obviously, I had to shave it all off after. I still used the number one guard on the clippers so I'm not CLEAN shaven, I'm back to the 5-o-clock shadow-y look.... which is a fucking tragedy since the beard had been working so good, dammit.

I can grow it back in a couple of weeks, sure, but all the lost time!! Oh, the misery.


#2



Andromache

Frosty Susan meets the Shredding Pussy and Twitch razor


#3

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy



#4

Calleja

Calleja

That is almost exactly how I reacted. :(


#5

Allen who is Quiet

Allen, who is Quiet



#6



Andromache

post pics!


#7

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Heh, been there before, my friend. I just use a straight razor to shave (and a beard trimmer on the goatee) and sometimes shave too close to the goatee and lose some of it. Then I shave off the 'tee and all. Though, sometimes (like...right now, actually), I get tired of the 'tee and shave it off. Huh...maybe I'll join you, my clean-shaven friend!

---------- Post added at 02:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:48 PM ----------



#8

Silver Jelly

Silver Jelly

This happenned to me when I was learning to take care of my beard... Be strong, Calleja. It will be back befor you even know it.


#9



Occasional Poster

Oh man, I hate when that happens. I've been forced to groom my Magnum down to a Higgins because of yawning or twitching. Have comfort in knowing that your beard will be back before you know it.


#10

Calleja

Calleja

post pics!
Webcam is all you get, I'm afraid:

I tried to do a Home Alone face here.. but I needed the other hand to take the snapshot. tee hee.


So sad.


Still sexy, though. Right?

RIGHT?!


#11

Baerdog

Baerdog

I think the stubble looks better on you than the thick beard you had before.


#12

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

I don't recall what you looked like before, but honestly? You've got a slight bit more than a 5 o'clock shadow there, man. I'm fucking jealous because I can't even pull that off.

Honestly? It kinda works for ya! I say keep it trimmed like that!


#13

Calleja

Calleja

The sort of decent pic I have with how my beard used to be is this one:


but that's after 2 hours of pain and sweating.
...
Actually, that makes it sexier, doesn't it?


#14

tegid

tegid

God, I'm so sorry! the fully grown beard looks much better on you than that stubble. But don't worry! In about a week you'll have something more decent. Not your full manliness yet, but something not to be ashamed of!


#15

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Yep, I agree with the Tegster: the full grown looks much better. But what you have now isn't horrendous, either.


#16

Calleja

Calleja

Make up your mind, Nicolas!


#17

tegid

tegid

He hadn't seen it fully grown! Your after-tattoo picture has made him see the light! He now speaks true words.


#18

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Fine! You're a sexy Mexican beast that every woman craves, no matter how your facial hair appears.

And yes, you can put that in your sig.


#19

tegid

tegid

The Tegster! I like being called by deformations of my original nickname! Yeah!

(Aw, this was supposed to go together with my previous post! Ninja'd!)


#20

Calleja

Calleja

.... alright, how about some female opinions now, maybe? :paranoid:


#21

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Gimme a minute! *finishes putting on his eyeliner*

Hey Teg, does this sun dress make me look fat?


#22



Andromache

.... alright, how about some female opinions now, maybe? :paranoid:
It does not affect your current level of attractiveness or lack thereof.

---------- Post added at 05:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:05 PM ----------

.... alright, how about some female opinions now, maybe? :paranoid:
It does not affect your current level of attractiveness or lack thereof.


#23

tegid

tegid

Oh, not at all! You look delightful sweetie, now go and tell Fernando how sexy he looks!


#24

Silver Jelly

Silver Jelly

Lesbians don't like you wth a full beard, but some men do. I don't find that surprising at all.


#25

Cajungal

Cajungal

You're not at all sexy anymore. I retract my offer to lead you to promiscuous Southern hotties. And you can forget about going for a pastrami sandwich before, too!

..No, but really, it still looks good.


#26

Calleja

Calleja

But you prefer the beard?


#27

Cajungal

Cajungal

By a tiny little margin. It looks good thin, too. You're just a handsome devil, Calleja. No gettin' around it.


#28

Calleja

Calleja

Oh, you.


I had predicted much more comments on my wall behind me, though.


#29

tegid

tegid

Hey, what's that on the wall behind you?


#30

Calleja

Calleja

Heh, I was thinking more of the "I can't believe you have a huge U2 poster!!!" sort of thing, but since you asked and EvE is like an hour way from finishing downloading:



Don't worry, the Beatles paraphernalia is there, just not at that angle.


#31

Gusto

Gusto

The wall behind my computer as naught but a window, but alas, my paltry facial hair is undeserving of such a thread.


#32



Philosopher B.

It should be a crime if you can have a bitchin' smexy beard and you choose not to. 40 lashes. :p

- Philo-B., who looks like a wispy, patchy blonde goat whenever he tries to grow anything on the lower portions of his face.


#33

Allen who is Quiet

Allen, who is Quiet

.


#34

Calleja

Calleja

It worked!! Re-opened!

I've been flirting a lot with this girl from Mexico City who might be visiting soon (I'm about 2 hrs away), but she's gone on record saying she prefers me with the sort-of-stubble you see in the pictures here than with a beard beard... but I was working on my beard and looking forward to having it all big and glorious again!

What do you guys think? Shave it off for a girl?


#35

Cajungal

Cajungal

Your face, dude. You gotta live with it. ;) Ya look great with either style.


#36

Espy

Espy

Go down just to the mustache. That will drive the girls crazy.


#37

Calleja

Calleja

I've NEVER had just a mustache... it's like the only facial hair style I've never tried... I don't know, I think you need an epic Tom Selleck-like one for it not to look ridiculous....


I might still try it soon, though.... hmmm


#38

Espy

Espy

My advice is solid. Pay no attention to others. 'Stache away!


#39

Dave

Dave

I think you should go 100% Snidely Whiplash.



#40

Cajungal

Cajungal

My advice is solid. Pay no attention to others. 'Stache away!
Espy, this is terrible advice for about 98% of all men. They look soooo creepy by themselves on most guys.


#41

Calleja

Calleja

Quick, someone photoshop my pictures in this thread to show how I'd look with a mustache to see if I'm one of the 2% than can pull it off! pleaseeeeeee?


#42

Cajungal

Cajungal

:'( Don't do it, Fernando. :waah:


#43

Calleja

Calleja

Dude, what if it LOOKS GOOD?


#44

Cajungal

Cajungal

IT WOOOOOOON'T

Ok in the OFF CHANCE that it looks good I will concede this argument.... but it won't.


#45

Calleja

Calleja

This is why I need the photoshop skills that I sorely lack... to see if my mustache would be of the good or bad kind.


#46

Rob King

Rob King

Every so many months (maybe 6-10) I shave everything off my face to sort of 'reset' my beard. The next time I do it, I have resolved to shave it down to a mustache and wear it for a week, whether it looks good or bad.

I just want to say I've done it. You have no idea how much mileage I've gotten out of the fact that I once (long, long ago) sported a mullet. People hear this and they think "Wow, that guy doesn't play by the rules! He lives!"*

* - They might not actually think this.


#47

Calleja

Calleja

No, they cringe at the mental image.

I did.


#48

Rob King

Rob King

:(


#49

Allen who is Quiet

Allen, who is Quiet

Rob, if you really lived and didn't play by the rules, instead of going :(, you would have gone "Pfft, whatever." and then you would have hopped on your motorcycle and picked up a chainsmoking woman who is out of the job and has trouble spelling.


#50

Cajungal

Cajungal



BOOM. DONE. See how sad the mustache makes you???


#51

Calleja

Calleja

I LOOK LIKE MARIO!!! AWESOMEEE!!


#52

Cajungal

Cajungal

:mad:


#53

Morphine

Morphine

CG, it's useless, let him go ahead and make himself less sexy if he wants to... u_u

There's a place in hell for people like him.


#54

Rob King

Rob King

Rob, if you really lived and didn't play by the rules, instead of going :(, you would have gone "Pfft, whatever." and then you would have hopped on your motorcycle and picked up a chainsmoking woman who is out of the job and has trouble spelling.[/QUOTE]

Alas, it was a false image, and my confidence is now shattered. My self-esteem is, after all, 87% based on the opinion of Mexicans.


#55

Cajungal

Cajungal

See, this is why I didn't want him to do it. Men are hypnotized by their mustaches and end up thinking they look better than they do. Sigh* No more sex for poor Fernando. Not even from that one desperate chick sipping a Cosmo in the corner of the bar...


#56

Calleja

Calleja

Oh come on don't be so dramatic, I could glue rat hair on my face and I'd still get SOME sex.


what?


#57

Cajungal

Cajungal

:laugh:

Yeah but no. Hang up your condom holster, cowboy.


#58

Denbrought

Denbrought

Yep, only some men are made for moustaches.



#59

tegid

tegid

Calleja, you need to grow a beard and take a picture of your face with it, facing to the camera, nothing fancy. Then shave and take the exact same pictures. Then you can very easily check any facial hair style you want with very little skills! Even crazy things! I'll even do it for you if you want.


#60

Calleja

Calleja

Can't the pic of the day of my tattoo that's on the first page of this thread work as the beard pic? I'm not at full beard levels yet, more like... half beard.


#61

Cajungal

Cajungal

fools


#62

tegid

tegid

Yes.
For a beardless pic, I'm going to use your 'sad' picture from this thread unless you gimme something better!

I'll soon be posting the results, but hear me: what you need to do if you want to try any weird style is: grow a full beard, then shave what parts are not needed. Keep the weird style for a full day (important! It might grow on you), upload some pics and, if you don't like it, shave it off.


#63

Dave

Dave

CG, it's useless, let him go ahead and make himself less sexy if he wants to... u_u

There's a place in hell for people like him.
Let him do it and then make fun of him for being ugly. You know, like he did for you and your red hair?


#64

HCGLNS

HCGLNS

OK, I will say it. You look terrible with a beard either short or long.


#65

Allen who is Quiet

Allen, who is Quiet

Rob, if you really lived and didn't play by the rules, instead of going :(, you would have gone "Pfft, whatever." and then you would have hopped on your motorcycle and picked up a chainsmoking woman who is out of the job and has trouble spelling.[/QUOTE]

Alas, it was a false image, and my confidence is now shattered. My self-esteem is, after all, 87% based on the opinion of Mexicans.[/QUOTE]

If it'll make you feel better, she kisses like a jackhammer.


#66

tegid

tegid

It's very bad, but it's something!



#67

Denbrought

Denbrought

It's very bad, but it's something!
*snip*
Ostia, sembla El Frutero, d'aquell programa que feien fa anys a Telecinco.


#68



Wasabi Poptart

My dad has always had a mustache. He was trimming it one morning, forgot that he changed the setting on the clippers, and shaved half of it right off. He looked so weird without a mustache. It's one of maybe 3 times in 30+ years that I have seen him with a naked lip.


#69

Tinwhistler

Tinwhistler

quick 5 minute job.

goatee


stache only


#70

Cajungal

Cajungal

D:


#71

Allen who is Quiet

Allen, who is Quiet

I'd look sad with a stache like that


#72

tegid

tegid

It's very bad, but it's something!
*snip*
Ostia, sembla El Frutero, d'aquell programa que feien fa anys a Telecinco.[/QUOTE]
XD 7 vidas!


#73

Baerdog

Baerdog

Keep the shorter beard. When you grow it out you start looking like a homeless person.


#74

Morphine

Morphine

This kind of threads are the ones that are messing with my heart. I'm going to die one of these days. Die, I tell you.


#75

Cajungal

Cajungal

This kind of threads are the ones that are messing with my heart. I'm going to die one of these days. Die, I tell you.
Look what you're doing to Morphine, Fernando! :'( *holds Morphine*


#76

Calleja

Calleja

...yeah, I think I might be skipping the mustache.


#77

Espy

Espy

...yeah, I think I might be skipping the mustache.
This is a mistake. I do not lead you wrong, lo, I lead you to mustachey waters that will re-invigorate your bald soul.


#78

Calleja

Calleja

.... my soul is not bald, you damned infant!


Only my body is u_u


#79

Baerdog

Baerdog

They say the body mirrors the soul.


#80

Calleja

Calleja

Keep the shorter beard. When you grow it out you start looking like a homeless person.
Say that to Morphine's face, I dare you.

(that way if her high pressure thing kills her they can blame you and not me)


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