Rant VII: Now With 25% Less Drama

[CynicismKills]

Taking his stuff away is probably just going to piss him off. I'd be surprised if he learned anything or tried any harder. Likely he's just going to think you're a dick.

ProTip: This is from experience. I was just like him for awhile, except it was a combination of apathy and depression.

 

[Baerdog]

I hear CK got over his funk when he grew out his mutton chops and became rad.

 

[Terrik]

I wasn't allowed Computer games/NES/SNES/etc when I was a kid during weekdays, regardless of grades. Friday Afternoon-Sunday was it. That only began to taper off once I was in late high school.

 

[CynicismKills]

I hear CK got over his funk when he grew out his mutton chops and became rad.

It's not the beard on the outside that counts, it's the beard on the inside.

 

[Baerdog]

Thank you Action Hank!

 

[Hailey Knight]

Taking his stuff away is probably just going to piss him off. I'd be surprised if he learned anything or tried any harder. Likely he's just going to think you're a dick.

ProTip: This is from experience. I was just like him for awhile, except it was a combination of apathy and depression.

Yeah, but he doesn't have depression.

 

[CynicismKills]

Taking his stuff away is probably just going to piss him off. I'd be surprised if he learned anything or tried any harder. Likely he's just going to think you're a dick.

ProTip: This is from experience. I was just like him for awhile, except it was a combination of apathy and depression.

Yeah, but he doesn't have depression.[/QUOTE]

True, but I had apathy in spades so I'm just saying this from the kid's possible point of view. I don't know that there's a better way to get him motivated, though. Eventually I shaped up on my own and realized I was being a useless leech on my family.

 

[Gusto]

 

[Chibibar]

Taking his stuff away is probably just going to piss him off. I'd be surprised if he learned anything or tried any harder. Likely he's just going to think you're a dick.

ProTip: This is from experience. I was just like him for awhile, except it was a combination of apathy and depression.

Yeah, but he doesn't have depression.[/QUOTE]

True, but I had apathy in spades so I'm just saying this from the kid's possible point of view. I don't know that there's a better way to get him motivated, though. Eventually I shaped up on my own and realized I was being a useless leech on my family.[/QUOTE]

I got into a car accident and got lazy... one day I decide to go back to school and turn myself around.

When I was younger and living with my parents, regardless if I bought something with my own money, as punishment, my parents can take it away. The old rule "My house, my rule" I use that in my house too my house my rules, if you don't like it, get out!

 

[Rob King]

Agghahahghghgh! This Nepal thing is seriously stressing me out, and I've remembered why I don't want to include my parents in this shit ever.

Basically the final payments to the GVN are due this Friday, and while I've got most of the money ready to go, I'm still a few hundred short. The few hundred that I'm short is the $500 my mother had pretty much committed to contributing, but she won't contribute anything until I can "prove" that I'm going to have enough money to buy my plane ticket by November.

Essentially what she's saying is that while she's committed to contributing $500, it's going to be the LAST $500 of the $5500+ that I have to gather. This is a problem, since if I don't get this program fee paid by Friday, then there's not going to be any need to buy a plane ticket at all, because GVN is not going to foot the bill which is my responsibility.

So she won't contribute now, because she's afraid of contributing to a cause that is going to fail. But if I don't have her contribution now, then it'll likely fail anyway. It's a @#$% self-fulfilling prophecy.

Also, I have a few friends and family who are interested in contributing, but want me to see if I can set up a fund through a church, since that'll be easier on them for tax reasons. I think it's a good idea, and I'm checking it out, but it adds another level of bureaucracy that I really wish I didn't have to deal with. Going 'through' a Church might draw more, or bigger, donations, but it means the money has to get to the church, into their coffers/accounts, and then through their accountant to me via a check, which is a lot more complicated than paypal.

I'm going to go for a walk now.

 

[LittleSin]

That's really shitty Rob. I wish I could help....oh wait. I can a bit.

I sold one painting at the marathon...and it was the one I made for your cause!

The down side is it only went for 50 and after gallery cost we only get 25.00 back. It's 25.00 more then you have though!

 

[Rob King]

Thanks so much, Sin

You're right in that $25 is $25 closer, and it always picks me up to see that people are willing to help out, even if it's only a little bit

I still feel a bit bad that I didn't get a chance to come down and see the auction-thingy. It's seriously the first weekend I had spent out of town in months, and it just HAD to be that weekend

 

[LittleSin]

It's cool man. I only showed for the last hour of the auction, opting instead for more sleep after being up for close to 24 hours.

PRO TIP: Mention your friend is going to Nepal and needs the cash...then your art work is a sure sell! God damn hippies...bought my god damn abstract because I mentioned Nepal.

"Oooooo...that sounds so spiritual! I'll support that journey!"

 

[Rob King]

Hahah.

Continuation of my rant: it's looking even less likely that this is going to work today, even with the extra $25 help. The bottom just fell out of the whole thing, and the rest of my day is going to be me struggling to put the bottom back in.

Wish me luck!

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

30 days to get himself together or he gets the boot. He has no motivation to do anything because he doesn't need to do anything for himself. He has to be responsible for himself and sometimes that means learning the hard way. You and your wife have coddled him. This is the result.
My parents made me learn from an early age that I didn't get anything unless I earned it. Of course I wasn't naked or starving, but if I wanted certain clothes I had better have my own money or else my parents bought me what they wanted me to wear. If I wanted to go to the movies, unless I had my own money, or my date was paying, then I wasn't going. Your son is old enough now that he should be able to take care of himself including personal hygiene without being told to do it by mom and dad.

 

[Math242]

Wildsoul's right.

ffs he's a college student. Brush his teeth? wtf, man

 

[HCGLNS]

Put an ad in the paper to rent out his room. Offer him first chance to rent it, unless of course some one else offers more.

 

[Dave]

Wildsoul's right.

ffs he's a college student. Brush his teeth? wtf, man

He's not a college kid any more.

Here's an idea of how my son does things.

Say there are pieces of paper on the table and some of it has fallen on the floor. I ask him to clean up the table. He won't touch the floor. He does no more no less than asked. He always does it, but he won't take any initiative to do anything without being told. Yes, that means even so far as showering, brushing teeth, wearing clean clothes, etc. He just doesn't care about anything.

---------- Post added at 03:00 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:56 PM ----------

Oh. Something else. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can either kick my son in the ass and have issues with the wife or please the wife and he gets away with it. And I guarantee if he goes into the military and (God forbid!) anything happens, it'll be my fault and my marriage would be over.

Basically everyone in the world sees what needs to be done except my wife and her mom. So I'm stuck between doing what needs to be done and putting a strain on my marriage or letting it continue in blissful ignorance.

 

[Krisken]

Sorry to hear it Dave. My first room mate was like that. No ambition, no desire to do anything. We got him to work for a few years, but a few months before I had it and moved out he quit his job and tried to O.D. on sleeping pills. Luckily being 260lbs kept the 2 bottles from being enough.

I wish I knew how to help or had encouraging words. I know my old room mate is still living at home with his parents, where he moved back to after I left. That was over 10 years ago.

Good luck, man.

 

[Null]

Honestly Dave, it sounds like he needs a push, and maybe a term of service would be good for him. The Navy (aviation & Special Forces aside) and the Coast Guard aren't currently in line for a lot of combat but the training, discipline, and development may do him a lot of good. You may be better selling your wife on those relatively "safe" branches of service, but since something can happen (something can ALWAYS happen) I'm not saying it's risk-free. But there are options that have a very low likelihood of him chewing dirt in a country he can't pronounce against an enemy that only attacks by ambush.

 

[Gusto]

Oh. Something else. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can either kick my son in the ass and have issues with the wife or please the wife and he gets away with it. And I guarantee if he goes into the military and (God forbid!) anything happens, it'll be my fault and my marriage would be over.

Basically everyone in the world sees what needs to be done except my wife and her mom. So I'm stuck between doing what needs to be done and putting a strain on my marriage or letting it continue in blissful ignorance.

Well then best of luck with your deadbeat son.

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

The Navy (aviation & Special Forces aside)and the Coast Guard aren't currently in line for a lot of combat...

This is not entirely true. He could be sent into a combat situation very easily these days since they send any and all rates in to do security details for 6 months to a year. I can't speak for the Coasties, but I know this happens very often now in the Navy.

---------- Post added at 02:04 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:03 PM ----------

Also, Dave, if your mother-in-law is so keen on taking care of your son, send him to live with her. She can let him be a man-child in her house.

 

[Hailey Knight]

Maybe your son should run for public office then.

Otherwise, Coast Guard.

Otherwise, mother-in-law idea sounds like a good idea.

 

[North_Ranger]

God-fuckin'-dammit...

*bonks his head on the table*

I just came back from the most horrifying job interview of my life. It's an opening for a high school EFL teacher's post, but after meeting with the principal, I am actually afraid of getting the job. The principal disappointed me terribly: the vaunted "emphasis on the international" in the high school is complete and utter bullcrap, basically the principal coming back from conferences with big ideas and trying to impose them on language teachers; they take "guest lecturers" from a nearby reception center for newly-arrived immigrants; and the previous English teacher had to go over the principal's head to get administrative leave. Not only that, but half of the interview was spent with her reminiscing how horrible her own teacher training was (we trained at the same university) back in the late 70s - basically lambasting my alma mater - and how she has all these fabulous ideas that the teachers refuse to implement. Not to mention bitching about how difficult it is to read electronic CVs...

The sad thing is the high school looked really nice; but the principal has "Imminent Train Wreck" written all over her...

Thank God for substituting...

 

[Cajungal]

^Well, do what you gotta do to stay sane! One uniform piece of advice I've received from teachers (besides don't cry in front of the kids--it gives them power ) is to try and work at a school with a good principal--one who makes you comfortable and works with you. The principal at my school is not used to overseeing education students or teachers, but she's doing her best and keeping upbeat. That really makes a difference.

Good luck, whatever you decide!

 

[North_Ranger]

Well, it's not really my choice anymore. Plus, I can't begin right away even if I do get picked; I'm tied with substituting until the 19th, almost two weeks after the job is about to start, and I lack in experience. I just thought there was something horribly... off about the whole thing. I also keep wondering if I got the interview just because I'm a guy; something she said when she invited me to the interview made me wonder if I was the only man who applied for the job.

 

[Cajungal]

Also, Dave, if your mother-in-law is so keen on taking care of your son, send him to live with her. She can let him be a man-child in her house.

Good suggestion. We have a guy like this in our family... maybe not so much apathetic as stubborn. He thinks everyone he's worked for is "too stupid" and therefore can't hold down a job. The result is that he's been homeless for a good portion of his life. The other part he was either living with my parents, another one of his siblings, and finally--to this day--his mother. All he does is play disc golf and fiddle with computers. He might have a part time job now, but I'm not sure. Back when I was a kid, I remember he disappeared for years, never contacting anyone. When he finally showed up again he still avoided us even though we always try to include him.

I don't know what he's going to do when my grandma dies. There's no way my grandpa will take him in, and I don't think he's faced any of his siblings in years. Come to think of it, I don't even know if he made my godmother's funeral. Long story short, nothing's ever lit enough of a fire under his ass to really try. Mom says he's depressed like Aunt Karen was. Maybe.

 

[Hailey Knight]

Parents should be like your drill sergeant, you hate em while your being trained but when your in the shit your happy they were such a hard ass.

That's what drill sergeants are for.

Most parents I know aren't like that and their kids didn't turn out apathetic do-nothings. The only person I know whose parents acted like drill sergeants has been in therapy for much of his adult life and still can't carry a conversation with his father.

 

[sixpackshaker]

I am about to take my first real vacation in 3 years. Now about 1/4 of the computers in my company fuck up. I really have a hard time leaving for a good time while others struggle until next week, when I can come around and fix them.

 

[Gusto]

They'll get by. Enjoy your vacation.

 

[figmentPez]

Went in to see the doctor again today. He has no idea what's wrong with me. Even said so. I didn't think I'd ever hear that from a doctor. The thyroid medication he put me on didn't help. The diet hasn't helped like it should have. Very little has gone as expected.

So, brain scan (SPECT) to see if there are any areas of my brain that aren't working. Then a big expensive allergy test, and some other tests. No definite direction though.

Only good news was that I get to try some food that's not on the diet to see how I react. Yum, starch. I got to eat my hamburger on a bun this evening.

Well, I guess ruling out some things has been nice. No diabetes. no celiac. Yay.


Shit. As nice as it is to have a doctor who actually believes this isn't just depression... Shit, this sucks.

 

[IronBrig4]

Dave, your kid didn't break up with his girlfriend during the summer, did he? That can often lead to a general listlessness for a time.

 

[ThatNickGuy]

Ooh, I like Wasabi's suggestion for the son living with his mother-in-law. Let's see how she deals with him, even only for a few weeks.

I'm taking my cat, my little buddy, my best friend, Diomedes, to the vet today. He's been really slow and sluggish since yesterday. He's barely eaten. I gave him some wet cat food and he threw it all up early this morning. I tried playing with him, but he didn't have the usual energy.

Really worried about him. He got into the garbage a few days ago, hunting for some chicken that I'd thrown out. I think that might have been what's making him sick.

So...yeah, any fellow animal lovers or cat owners, prayers are needed.

 

[Dave]

Ooh, I like Wasabi's suggestion for the son living with his mother-in-law. Let's see how she deals with him, even only for a few weeks.

I'm taking my cat, my little buddy, my best friend, Diomedes, to the vet today. He's been really slow and sluggish since yesterday. He's barely eaten. I gave him some wet cat food and he threw it all up early this morning. I tried playing with him, but he didn't have the usual energy.

Really worried about him. He got into the garbage a few days ago, hunting for some chicken that I'd thrown out. I think that might have been what's making him sick.

So...yeah, any fellow animal lovers or cat owners, prayers are needed.

This SAME THING happened to one of our cats. Turns out some dental floss had been thrown away and it's what he was after. It wrapped around his stomach and they had to do surgery to get it out.

 

[ThatNickGuy]

Jesus. I should've gone to vetrenarian school. The tests alone for my little guy are almost $600. X-Rays, etc. Fortunately, after selling the house, selling a lot of their stuff and moving to Halifax to be closer to my sister, my parents are relatively well off. They're going to transfer the money to me. I hate, hate, hate asking for money, but...well...Diomedes has been the one and only constant in my life for 6 years. He's my best friend. I held him last night and cried because I so worried.