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ugh, I haven't had a crush on a girl in a while. She's pretty cool though, so I guess it's okay. The thread tag is also accurate.

Good luck!

Be calm and be yourself. Make her laugh and be nice...

That was the advice a "Major Player" gave to a friend of mine.

The only thing I can think to tell you is do or do not! There is no try!

Send her a dead gerbil and a note that says "Unlike this gerbil, my love for you will never die".

The Lovely Boner said:

ugh, I haven't had a crush on a girl in a while. She's pretty cool though, so I guess it's okay. The thread tag is also accurate.

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Make sure you respect her as a woman so much that you completely stay away from her.

I wasn't posting this thread asking for advice really!

AND YET HERE IT IS!


don't fuck up. otherwise you'll never be happy.

phil said:

AND YET HERE IT IS!


don't fuck up. otherwise you'll never be happy.

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Yeah, if you blow it with this girl, your life is over. Totally.

you'll diie alone

but only if you fuck this up.


otherwise, lots of babies to remember you.

It's your last chance at happiness, don't fuck it up for god sakes.

How did you meet her? Or have you formally met yet?

oh hell, if this is a subway situation I'm going to drink until I puke.


otherwise I'll stop before that.

Yeah, I've met her. We had a mutual friend, and I got her number/contact stuff, and we went to a karaoke competition together to support said friend. We had a really good time and immediately afterwards both wanted to do it again next week. And we've been talking on and off since.

So when are you going to sweep her off her feet?

Cajungal said:

So when are you going to sweep her off her feet?

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Literally, and with no warning.

Vrii;425147][QUOTE=Cajungal said:

So when are you going to sweep her off her feet?

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Literally, and with no warning.[/QUOTE]

And then run away, laughing and flapping your arms.

Cajungal;425148][QUOTE=Vrii;425147][QUOTE=Cajungal said:

So when are you going to sweep her off her feet?

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Literally, and with no warning.[/QUOTE]

And then run away, laughing and flapping your arms.[/QUOTE]
In your Kentucky Fried Chicken giant chicken suit.

Oh god! Don't do this!


This is fucking it up and you know what they say about that!

Just go up to her and tell her you can't stop thinking about all the good food she'll bake you and how clean your house will surely be once she starts cleaning it. That wins women over every time.
Oh, and smack her around a bit. Great for defining the relationship right from the start.


Seriously, good luck, and enjoy that smitten feel :-D

All this advice is great and all, but unecessary.
You merely have to offer a dowry.

Or, if you're poor, club her on the head and drag her home. But be sure to drag her by the hair, not the legs, or she'll fill up with sand.

I find myself amused at the advice in this thread, and will continue to monitor with interest.

Ask her if she'd like to see your lovely boner!

Look, it's very simple, dude. Here's a sure fire way to win her heart:

You go up to her, give her your best suave smile...

...then promptly drop trou and say "So, how about it?"

I'm totally right, eh ladies?

Sounds like you've found an easy friend, hope she has an ear to lend.

ThatNickGuy said:

Look, it's very simple, dude. Here's a sure fire way to win her heart:

You go up to her, give her your best suave smile...

...then promptly drop trou and say "So, how about it?"

I'm totally right, eh ladies?

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I think you're right, but we'd better get the ladies' confirmation.

Vagabond said:

Sounds like you've found an easy friend, hope she has an ear to lend.

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Sweet! He can add to his collection.

Philosopher B. said:

Vagabond said:

Sounds like you've found an easy friend, hope she has an ear to lend.

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Sweet! He can add to his collection.

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Dude, loan only. Don't bogart it!

ThatNickGuy said:

Look, it's very simple, dude. Here's a sure fire way to win her heart:

You go up to her, give her your best suave smile...

...then promptly drop trou and say "So, how about it?"

I'm totally right, eh ladies?

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Either that or just walk up to her and wordlessly take a HUGE whiff of her hair. Then cross your legs and smile creepily.

D:

I know.

Just go up to her father and offer him a goat and six gallons of pesticide. That's how we did things in the old country.

As with all things in life, the best advice comes from Futurama:

Thirty fifth post in this thread and I'm the first one to ask for pics???

Pics, Boner! Pics or you have no proof of her cuteness!

It is kind of weird to post someone's pics somewhere online without their permission in my eyes, sorry :shy:

The Lovely Boner said:

It is kind of weird to post someone's pics somewhere online without their permission in my eyes, sorry :shy:

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I am secretly this girl and I give you permission to post pictures of her. I mean, of me.

I respect your opinion on the creepiness of posting pics, and change my request to a creepily detailed description of her.

She kind of looks like a normal-person version of Isla Fisher.

Loving this thread...I feel like I'm in a somewhat similar position.

Just be yourself! No wait....no... no don't do that.

Be who you think she might want you to be, but be careful because if she finds out you aren't who she wants you to be you'll have to be someone else and always try to anticipate what she wants instead of coming right out and saying what you really want because she may not want what you want and its always best for her to be right all the time and the only way to do that is to make sure you always guess at how she wants you to feel, do and say about everything.

Got it?

checkeredhat said:

But be sure to drag her by the hair, not the legs, or she'll fill up with sand.

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Oh my GOD did this have me rolling!

Dave;425268][QUOTE=checkeredhat said:

But be sure to drag her by the hair, not the legs, or she'll fill up with sand.

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Oh my GOD did this have me rolling![/QUOTE]

I missed that! CheckeredHat brings the funny.

Also, memorize a romantic movie monologue. It seem to be a talent of yours. Just recite it in the a grand, dramatic manner. Remember to really ham it up.

Dave;425268][QUOTE=checkeredhat said:

But be sure to drag her by the hair, not the legs, or she'll fill up with sand.

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Oh my GOD did this have me rolling![/QUOTE]

Bring back memories of your days as a swinging young bachelor?

LittleSin said:

Also, memorize a romantic movie monologue. It seem to be a talent of yours. Just recite it in the a grand, dramatic manner. Remember to really ham it up.

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And if he uses something from the Star Wars prequels, he doesn't even have to add any extra hamming!

update

hot dog date

Is that a euphemism for something?

It is not a euphemism. We're gonna eat hot dogs.

Re: fucking this up.


Don't do it.

Don't put onions on your dog! Not only do they give people bad breath, which is not conducive to kissing, but usually onions will give people gas, too. Nothing says "I like you" quite like ripping a good one 'cause you ate onions.

On the other hand, if she wants to kiss you despite the bad breath and farting, you know you're in. Still... I have to agree with Ms. Tart.

a hot dog without onions is a sad hot dog. load it up i say!



also I feel like I'm reading twitter