Export thread

Hey Folks

Most of you don't know dick about me beyond the strange things I make on our minecraft server and the funny pictures and videos I post in the video and picture threads.

I am here today to tell mostly complete strangers about a life change thrust upon me roughly an hour ago.

Myself and roughly 20 other people in my department learned our jobs are relocating to New York from South Carolina.

This has pretty much got me in a silent funk right now. I have six months to find new employment. This is a blessing no doubt. I have time and foreknowledge.

For various reasons relocation is not an option.

A new position in the company may not be an option.

I have spent the last 8 years with the company. I spent five years in customer service on the phones selling/fixing cable service. The last three motioning the commercial network for faults.

This is all good looking on a resume but the fact of the matter is I have no college education. In 1998 I was just a kid in a poor family moderately good with a computer that lucking in to an IT job before the dotcom bust.

So here I am...12 years of moderately technical job experience. No colledge. No certifications. With six months to find new employeement.

Also I just chugged half a bottle of absinthe.

So...

Advice good folks who are older/wiser than me?

With your experience, it shouldn't take you too long to pick up some certifications.

Get the hell out of SC.*
(unless you live in Charleston)

*brought to you by a SC native

If you need a cool little resume that stands out, go here and create something.

It may not get you the job, but I guarantee it will get a second look.

Six months? Since you have the technical expertise, you can get certification within that period (most are self study and just pass the test which cost money)

1. Right this instant make a copy of every contact you have ever dealt with in the past 8 yrs and get it home in some format.
2. As soon as this is done update your resume.
3. Make yourself some snazzy business cards that outline how awesome you are.
4. Make a cold call script and start calling the contacts from step 1.
5. Research any company that might need someone like you and call up the people in those businesses who would be your boss (not Hr) and arrange to meet them.
6. Learn how to interview. It's been 8yrs since you last had one.

I hope everything works out for you and I have no advice. Now I hope you don't think I am being callous but when I read this line-

FnordBear said:

I was just a kid in a poor family

Click to expand...

suddenly Bohemian rhapsody was in my head. This is a good thing so thanks for that.

Good Luck.

makare said:

I hope everything works out for you and I have no advice. Now I hope you don't think I am being callous but when I read this line- suddenly Bohemian rhapsody was in my head. This is a good thing so thanks for that.

Good Luck.

Click to expand...

Easy come, easy go.

Generally there is a no compete rule in a certain area around the business but they are the ones moving. I don't know how that works. But contacts aren't necessarily customers.

If there are IT noncompetes, I've never seen one or been subject to one...

It's not stealing clientelle, it's maintaining relationships with people you have dealt with over the years. You ask them if they need someone like you, or if they know of anyone who needs some one like you. I am certainly not suggesting he take his contacts and compete. But now that he is looking he definately needs to start networking.

GasBandit said:

If there are IT noncompetes, I've never seen one or been subject to one...

Click to expand...

Last year we covered a few cases that covered them so they definitely exist. Regardless of the industry companies like to control their area of business.

makare said:

Last year we covered a few cases that covered them so they definitely exist. Regardless of the industry companies like to control their area of business.

Click to expand...

Interesting. Good to know.

I am going to have to ask about situations like this where the business itself moves out of the geographic area. That is interesting.

Worse comes to worse you can get a job fixing Apple computers at an Apple retail store for like $~26hr. They start you off as a shit pay specialist for like $9? then you can move up internally if you know basic PC building and you ace their tests and toe the apple party line.

Biannoshufu said:

Worse comes to worse you can get a job fixing Apple computers at an Apple retail store for like $~26hr. They start you off as a shit pay specialist for like $9? then you can move up internally if you know basic PC building and you ace their tests and toe the apple party line.

Click to expand...

Fuck, I gotta start pretending to like Apple.

Ravenpoe said:

Fuck, I gotta start pretending to like Apple.

Click to expand...

Sadly, that's the only way I could ever get that job as well. I'm sure I could ace their tests and I definitely know the basic build of a computer, but I'll be damned if I ever become part of the Cult of Apple.

You know, you can like apple computers without becoming a cult member. In fact, I'd say that describes most Apple users. They're just not the ones who make the most noise.

Gared said:

Sadly, that's the only way I could ever get that job as well. I'm sure I could ace their tests and I definitely know the basic build of a computer, but I'll be damned if I ever become part of the Cult of Apple.

Click to expand...

Hey, if you've got a job with great benefits in this economy you can afford that stance. But you know, I don't want to add anything to this thread about anything else except helpful advice. To FnordBear are you prepared to file for UI benefits and health insurance afterwards?

Biannoshufu said:

Hey, if you've got a job with great benefits in this economy you can afford that stance. But you know, I don't want to add anything to this thread about anything else except helpful advice. To FnordBear are you prepared to file for UI benefits and health insurance afterwards?

Click to expand...

And luckily, I do, and can. But you're right - this is Fnord's thread, and we should be here for him.

Fnord, as someone who's been in much the same shoes (though I only got about a month's notice and went our for some beers at lunch, instead of 6 months and half a bottle of absinthe), the best advice I can give is to follow the advice of the other posters who're saying "get to work now on networking, building your resume, and getting your cert's taken care of." Also, make sure you save as much money as you possibly can in the next six months. This allows two things. 1) You don't have to worry as much about the financial stress that comes with being unemployed. 2) If you have some money in savings, it can make it easier for you to take short term contracting work. I found during my lengthy unemployment that I kept having to turn down short contracts that would have paid fairly handsomely, because it would have interrupted my unemployment benefits. If I'd had more financial flexibility, I wouldn't have had to turn some of those down.

After sleeping off my alcohol and having a good think this is my tenative plan.

1) Super Saver Mode: Activated. I already have some savings. Building up more.

2) Look for a new position in the company. I am already going to send out feelers to some of my old bosses in the company to see if they are interested in opening a position for me.

3) Speak with HR about what the severance package is like and see how long severance +savings can carry me and supplement time with volunteer work while still looking for a new path in life.

4) Tell my lady I love her every day.

Thats all I got for right now.

Just an update:

I applied for an internal position around 4am this morning (I work overnights) and when I woke up at 6pm I have a voicemail from our internal recruiter wanting to speak to me.

If things work out it will be a lateral move doing some things in the company similar to what I was doing three years ago with the added benefit of not having to deal with the general public in any way. Not getting my hopes up but I would rather have a crappier job schedule but the same general pay and benefits than have no job.

i approve!

FnordBear said:

Just an update:

I applied for an internal position around 4am this morning (I work overnights) and when I woke up at 6pm I have a voicemail from our internal recruiter wanting to speak to me.

If things work out it will be a lateral move doing some things in the company similar to what I was doing three years ago with the added benefit of not having to deal with the general public in any way. Not getting my hopes up but I would rather have a crappier job schedule but the same general pay and benefits than have no job.

Click to expand...

Woo!!! I love it. Good luck buddy!

So an update:

Staying with the company isn't looking good. As it stands the unspoken message that if you aren't willing to leave the state then they aren't going to place you is becoming clear.

It looks like I am going to take severance, move in with my lady love, and use my severance to fund some certifications to get on track for an IT career.

In the mean time I am also tossing around the idea of becoming a notary as well as being ordained and recognized by the state so I can preform marriages as a side income.

you are a Renaissance man

FnordBear said:

So an update:

Staying with the company isn't looking good. As it stands the unspoken message that if you aren't willing to leave the state then they aren't going to place you is becoming clear.

It looks like I am going to take severance, move in with my lady love, and use my severance to fund some certifications to get on track for an IT career.

In the mean time I am also tossing around the idea of becoming a notary as well as being ordained and recognized by the state so I can preform marriages as a side income.

Click to expand...

I am sad that a company is going to be like that. I personally rather have competent people under my staff.

FnordBear said:

So an update:

Staying with the company isn't looking good. As it stands the unspoken message that if you aren't willing to leave the state then they aren't going to place you is becoming clear.

It looks like I am going to take severance, move in with my lady love, and use my severance to fund some certifications to get on track for an IT career.

In the mean time I am also tossing around the idea of becoming a notary as well as being ordained and recognized by the state so I can preform marriages as a side income.

Click to expand...

I think you just became one of my favorite television characters of all time: