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Terrible story that had me laughing.

#1

Dave

Dave

Okay, forst let me say that this story is terrible. I am trying to find a link but it was on one of our news stations (KPTM Fox 42) on one broadcast and then not shown again. If I find a link I'll supply it.

Okay, so this 41 year old guy goes to sleep. He wakes up and a different 39 year old guy is playing with the sleeping guy's junk. So the 41 year old freaks out & stabs the 39 year old guy.

Both men are being charged - the 41 year old for assault and the 39 year old for sexual assault. The stabbed guy is going to live. So horrible as it is as a situation it sure could have been worse.

But this is where my fevered twisted brain starts to fire on multiple cylinders. Why, you ask, do I find this funny?


Three's Company.


I pictured this guy laying in bed, dreaming. A beautiful girl starts to nuzzle his neck, her skin gleaming in the sun. Her perfect, perky breasts against his arm as his breathing quickens. She smiles as her hand travels down his body, finally resting on his crotch...

In Three's Company, Jack would have awoke to find a dog licking his face and hilarity would ensue. In this case he wakes up and there's a dude playing with his junk. Different ending.


Yes, my wife thinks I'm insane.


#2

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

No self defense in case of sexual assault?

or did a lot of time pass between getting foreplayed and the stabbing?


#3

Dave

Dave

sixpackshaker said:
No self defense in case of sexual assault?

or did a lot of time pass between getting foreplayed and the stabbing?
Click to expand...
He woke up, started yelling, grabbed the closest sharp thing he could & stabbed.


#4



Chibibar

Dave;333500][QUOTE=sixpackshaker said:
No self defense in case of sexual assault?

or did a lot of time pass between getting foreplayed and the stabbing?
Click to expand...
He woke up, started yelling, grabbed the closest sharp thing he could & stabbed.[/QUOTE]

I would say self defense.


#5

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

I can't see a jury prosecuting the physical assault in that case.

I know a lady-friend of mine put two guys in the hospital that only threatened to rape her, and there were no charges pressed or time in jail for her.

And this guy was actually getting raped...


#6



Dusty668

When i was growing up, nrrfl mnn gloorb meant nrrfl mnn gloorb dammit!


#7

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Chloroform, getting men raped since 1845.


#8

phil

phil

In Texas we'd have given him an award.


#9

Jake

Jake

phil said:
In Texas we'd have given him an award.
Click to expand...
The junk fondler, I assume.


#10

Espy

Espy

How the hell isn't that self defense????


#11



makare

Self defense is pretty limited. If someone is able to get away from the situation generally the selfdefense argument isn't allowed. The man would have to show that he couldn't have gotten away. It really depends on the state though.


#12

Espy

Espy

Wouldn't being startled by something like this count for a rather shocked state though? I mean, I sure as hell wouldn't be thinking rationally if I woke up and someone was sexually assaulting me. Maybe a better question is, "How would Makere" defend this guy in court? :)


#13



Deschain

A proper Castle Law state will protect this guy, if he was on his property and the guy was not supposed to be there.


#14

strawman

strawman

They still have to prosecute, mainly to render a verdict of not guilty so the other trial will go forward more easily.


#15



Rubicon

Reminds me of a really bad, (as in oh god 4chan type bad) joke I once heard;

A guy and his daughter are at the beach on vacation. While changing out of his swim trunks, his daughter accidentally see's his penis and pubic hair. "Daddy. what's that?" she asks. Her father hurriedly covers up and says "that's daddy's bird, you have to be careful and never look at it or go near it, ok honey?" "Ok daddy".

A few hours later the man wakes up in the hospital, his groin bandaged, in severe pain and groggy. He asks his daughter sitting next to him, "Honey, what happened?! why am I in the hospital? Are you ok?!". She looks up at him with those sad child eyes and says "Well, I went to pet your bird and it spit at me, so I broke it's neck in half and ripped out all of its feathers"


#16

Bowielee

Bowielee

Mav said:
Reminds me of a really bad, (as in oh god 4chan type bad) joke I once heard;

A guy and his daughter are at the beach on vacation. While changing out of his swim trunks, his daughter accidentally see's his penis and pubic hair. "Daddy. what's that?" she asks. Her father hurriedly covers up and says "that's daddy's bird, you have to be careful and never look at it or go near it, ok honey?" "Ok daddy".

A few hours later the man wakes up in the hospital, his groin bandaged, in severe pain and groggy. He asks his daughter sitting next to him, "Honey, what happened?! why am I in the hospital? Are you ok?!". She looks up at him with those sad child eyes and says "Well, I went to pet your bird and it spit at me, so I broke it's neck in half and ripped out all of its feathers"
Click to expand...
I think I heard that joke in the 2nd grade, and I'm 34.


#17

strawman

strawman

Bowielee;333673][QUOTE=Mav said:
Reminds me of a really bad, (as in oh god 4chan type bad) joke I once heard;

A guy and his daughter are at the beach on vacation. While changing out of his swim trunks, his daughter accidentally see's his penis and pubic hair. "Daddy. what's that?" she asks. Her father hurriedly covers up and says "that's daddy's bird, you have to be careful and never look at it or go near it, ok honey?" "Ok daddy".

A few hours later the man wakes up in the hospital, his groin bandaged, in severe pain and groggy. He asks his daughter sitting next to him, "Honey, what happened?! why am I in the hospital? Are you ok?!". She looks up at him with those sad child eyes and says "Well, I went to pet your bird and it spit at me, so I broke it's neck in half and ripped out all of its feathers"
Click to expand...
I think I heard that joke in the 2nd grade, and I'm 34.[/QUOTE]

Don't feel too bad. Lots of people take a long time to finish 2nd grade. Just pretend you're going for the record!


#18

Cajungal

Cajungal

Good lord. Dave, you're a nut. What a strange story... they didn't know each other or anything?


#19



Philosopher B.

Dude was lucky he got stabbed. You mess with a man's junk when he's not looking, you ought to get a shotgun blast to the tits.


#20

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

As previously stated - I don't see the assault charge sticking. The officer who arrested him should be bitch-slapped.


#21

Green_Lantern

Green_Lantern

Cajungal said:
Good lord. Dave, you're a nut. What a strange story... they didn't know each other or anything?
Click to expand...
what the Gal that is Cajun said. Really, WTF dave? That is just sick.


#22

Dave

Dave

Green_Lantern;334086][QUOTE=Cajungal said:
Good lord. Dave, you're a nut. What a strange story... they didn't know each other or anything?
Click to expand...
what the Gal that is Cajun said. Really, WTF dave? That is just sick.[/QUOTE]

Oh come on! I tried to explain why I thought this was funny. I said it before and I'll say it again - it's a horrible story and there are no winners. i do not condone neither the sexual assault nor the stabbing.

Having said that, my mind immediately went to the Three's Company thing where the guy is having a sexy dream and wakes up to a different reality. Like the dog licking his face (seen in many movies and shows) or this guy fondling him. If it weren't for the stabbing the situation could be in a TV sitcom.


#23



Shadazz

I take Dave's side, sounds like something straight out of a Fratboy comedy. Minus the stabbing, or maybe. I don't keep up with American Pie nowadays.

I chuckled at Dave's comparison, but at the same time, it's fucking sick. I don't blame him for stabbing him, for all he knew the guy might've done worse.. especially to his lower half.


#24

Dave

Dave

I do blame him for the stabby, unless he was very aggressive. But as it's not known how aggressive he was I can't say. They DID charge the guy so it might not be that aggressive.


#25

Bowielee

Bowielee

I love how people view touching another man's junk as a worse offense than stabbing them. I'm sure there was a much less lethal way to force the guy to stop.


#26

Cajungal

Cajungal

Dave;334090][QUOTE=Green_Lantern;334086][QUOTE=Cajungal said:
Good lord. Dave, you're a nut. What a strange story... they didn't know each other or anything?
Click to expand...
what the Gal that is Cajun said. Really, WTF dave? That is just sick.[/QUOTE]

Oh come on! I tried to explain why I thought this was funny. I said it before and I'll say it again - it's a horrible story and there are no winners. i do not condone neither the sexual assault nor the stabbing.

Having said that, my mind immediately went to the Three's Company thing where the guy is having a sexy dream and wakes up to a different reality. Like the dog licking his face (seen in many movies and shows) or this guy fondling him. If it weren't for the stabbing the situation could be in a TV sitcom.[/QUOTE]

I didn't say it wasn't funny--just that you're a nut! It made me laugh too, sad as this whole thing is.

---------- Post added at 10:13 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:06 AM ----------
Bowielee said:
I love how people view touching another man's junk as a worse offense than stabbing them. I'm sure there was a much less lethal way to force the guy to stop.
Click to expand...
He didn't *have* to stab the guy, but I'm guessing it was a knee-jerk reaction. Someone broke into his home and was messing with his privates. If that happened to me, I'd probably react the same way, although I don't keep anything sharp in my room. Once someone's entered my home (and other stuff) without my permission, I don't feel that bad for them anymore. I wish he hadn't gotten stabbed. A knock on the head probably would have done the same thing... but if it were me I wouldn't sit up calmly and say, "Excuse me, but that's not for you."


#27

Bowielee

Bowielee

We have no idea that anyone broke into anyone's home. For all we know, this was a party situation gone awry.

Okay, so this 41 year old guy goes to sleep. He wakes up and a different 39 year old guy is playing with the sleeping guy's junk. So the 41 year old freaks out & stabs the 39 year old guy.

Both men are being charged - the 41 year old for assault and the 39 year old for sexual assault. The stabbed guy is going to live. So horrible as it is as a situation it sure could have been worse.
Click to expand...
This is all we know and the rest people have filled in the blanks in on themselves. I'm thinking that there's more to the story given the arrest of the guy doing the stabbing.

Besides, people aren't reacting so much to the defending my home issue as, if some guy tries to touch my junk he should be stabbed or worse.


#28

General Specific

General Specific

If the victim of this story was a woman, would we be having the same debate?


#29

Cajungal

Cajungal

Oops. Yep, assumptions. In that case, yeah, could've been a misunderstanding. Maybe the guy just had the wrong room.


#30

Bowielee

Bowielee

General Specific said:
If the victim of this story was a woman, would we be having the same debate?
Click to expand...
I don't know about you, but I would.

Also, it depends on which victim you're referring to. The conversation would take a completely different turn depending on if the victim is the person being stabbed, or the person having their genitals touched.


#31

Cajungal

Cajungal

The bastard was probably asking for it... wearing tight slacks or something, the tease.


#32

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Bowielee said:
We have no idea that anyone broke into anyone's home. For all we know, this was a party situation gone awry.

Okay, so this 41 year old guy goes to sleep. He wakes up and a different 39 year old guy is playing with the sleeping guy's junk. So the 41 year old freaks out & stabs the 39 year old guy.

Both men are being charged - the 41 year old for assault and the 39 year old for sexual assault. The stabbed guy is going to live. So horrible as it is as a situation it sure could have been worse.
Click to expand...
This is all we know and the rest people have filled in the blanks in on themselves. I'm thinking that there's more to the story given the arrest of the guy doing the stabbing.

Besides, people aren't reacting so much to the defending my home issue as, if some guy tries to touch my junk he should be stabbed or worse.
Click to expand...
Yes, sexual assault is just fine and dandy with everyone, as long as they are the same sex. Surely a rapist will stop once you say no.


#33

Green_Lantern

Green_Lantern

Cajungal;334117][QUOTE=Dave;334090][QUOTE=Green_Lantern;334086][QUOTE=Cajungal said:
Good lord. Dave, you're a nut. What a strange story... they didn't know each other or anything?
Click to expand...
what the Gal that is Cajun said. Really, WTF dave? That is just sick.[/QUOTE]

Oh come on! I tried to explain why I thought this was funny. I said it before and I'll say it again - it's a horrible story and there are no winners. i do not condone neither the sexual assault nor the stabbing.

Having said that, my mind immediately went to the Three's Company thing where the guy is having a sexy dream and wakes up to a different reality. Like the dog licking his face (seen in many movies and shows) or this guy fondling him. If it weren't for the stabbing the situation could be in a TV sitcom.[/QUOTE]

I didn't say it wasn't funny--just that you're a nut! It made me laugh too, sad as this whole thing is.

[/QUOTE]

I din't found it funny at all, but because of recent shortpacked strips this issue of sexually harrassing men = funny makes me mad >.<


#34

Bowielee

Bowielee

You're still reading an awful lot into it that we don't know if is there or not.


#35

Dave

Dave

Yeah, I'm trying to find out more about the story but it's not being reported here.


#36

General Specific

General Specific

Bowielee;334141][QUOTE=General Specific said:
If the victim of this story was a woman, would we be having the same debate?
Click to expand...
I don't know about you, but I would.

Also, it depends on which victim you're referring to. The conversation would take a completely different turn depending on if the victim is the person being stabbed, or the person having their genitals touched.[/QUOTE]

The victim in my supposition was the person who's genitals were being touched. If a woman woke up and found a man in her house, sexually assaulting her and subsequently stabbed him, she would not be arrested. She'd probably be hailed as a hero and have a Lifetime Original "Man bad, Woman Good" movie made out of it.


#37

Bowielee

Bowielee

General Specific;334194][QUOTE=Bowielee;334141][QUOTE=General Specific said:
If the victim of this story was a woman, would we be having the same debate?
Click to expand...
I don't know about you, but I would.

Also, it depends on which victim you're referring to. The conversation would take a completely different turn depending on if the victim is the person being stabbed, or the person having their genitals touched.[/QUOTE]

The victim in my supposition was the person who's genitals were being touched. If a woman woke up and found a man in her house, sexually assaulting her and subsequently stabbed him, she would not be arrested. She'd probably be hailed as a hero and have a Lifetime Original "Man bad, Woman Good" movie made out of it.[/QUOTE]

OK, now flip it, if it were the opposite way, the man would be convicted because, hey why the hell would a man stab a woman if she's touching his junk? It can be played out a number of ways. I'm just not rushing to judgement for either party.


#38

General Specific

General Specific

Well, the woman would likely be arrested for the breaking and entering, so we're back at the same spot as the original story.


#39



makare

In the man-woman dynamic men are typically figured to have the physical upperhand. In a man-man situation it would be considered more equal. Part of the defense would be showing that it wasn't.


#40

Espy

Espy

Sexual assault is bad (as in, not good in any way at all) no matter the sex. I'm not sure what there is to debate about unless it's to what degree of response the person being assaulted is going to have and honestly, is there a "expected" response to this? If you wake up, to ANYONE sexually assaulting you you respond. Usually not well. My sympathy for the asshole who did this is... um... Let me add this us... 1+4x9, carry the one and divide by... here we go: ZERO.


#41



Chazwozel

Espy said:
Sexual assault is bad (as in, not good in any way at all) no matter the sex. I'm not sure what there is to debate about.
Click to expand...
Oh you know as well as I do that the real world does not work in terms of equality for the sexes, no matter how much the PC media and retard feminists try to pump our eye sockets full of it.


#42



makare

Society has an interest in dissuading people from stabbing each other regardless of the reason so we make sure self-defense isn't easy to use or abuse. So they are going to charge this guy bring him and make sure that he fits into that window we allow for that defense. Personally I don't think the charge will stick but we have to do the work before just letting people react however they think is reasonable.


#43



Chazwozel

makare1 said:
Society has an interest in dissuading people from stabbing each other regardless of the reason so we make sure self-defense isn't easy to use or abuse. So they are going to charge this guy bring him and make sure that he fits into that window we allow for that defense. Personally I don't think the charge will stick but we have to do the work before just letting people react however they think is reasonable.
Click to expand...
It doesn't change the notion that if it was a woman doing the stabby stabbing, she most likely would not have assault charges pressed against her.


#44

Baerdog

Baerdog

But that's not a bias of the law, it's a bias of law enforcers.


#45



makare

Women get arrested for those things too. I am not sure what you are basing your opinion on... I certainly hope it isn't lifetime movies.


#46

General Specific

General Specific

The idea that there is equality among the sexes is wrong. There isn't. When people go out on dates, it is generally accepted that the man should pay for everything. A woman can claim rape against a man with no proof and he'll still be arrested. Woman can dress in men's clothing and no one thinks it weird, but when a guy does it suddenly he's "weird" and should be watched... I mean it was a long skirt and barely showed any leg....

:shocked::blush:


#47



makare

To be fair a man could claim rape against a woman/another man and there would still be an investigation.


#48



Chazwozel

makare1 said:
Women get arrested for those things too. I am not sure what you are basing your opinion on... I certainly hope it isn't lifetime movies.
Click to expand...
Really? Guy breaks into a woman's home and starts diddling her pooter. She wakes up and stabs him in the shoulder. You really think she'd get charged with assault?


#49



makare

Chazwozel;334241][QUOTE=makare1 said:
Women get arrested for those things too. I am not sure what you are basing your opinion on... I certainly hope it isn't lifetime movies.
Click to expand...
Really? Guy breaks into a woman's home and starts diddling her pooter. She wakes up and stabs him in the shoulder. You really think she'd get charged with assault?[/QUOTE]

Yes, I'm quite sure. But like the guy in this case the charges would probably be dropped or she would be acquitted base on a theory of self-defense.


#50

Dave

Dave

Pooter?


You called it a pooter?


That's what my kids used to call my computer. :rofl:


#51

Bowielee

Bowielee

Again, we don't know if anyone broke into anyone else's house. for all we know, the guys were friends and they both got a little too drunk. I'm just saying we should reserve judgement until we have details. If the guy did, in fact, break into this other guys house and start diddling him, yes, the response is more justified, though I think stabbing someone is pretty extreme unless the guy being diddled was a scrawny little guy and the one doing the diddling was a big biker type guy.


#52



makare

Oh and the woman would definitely get nailed in civil court. Oh poor civil court people always forget you.


#53

Bowielee

Bowielee

makare1 said:
Oh and the woman would definitely get nailed in civil court. Oh poor civil court people always forget you.
Click to expand...
:rimshot:


#54

Snuffleupagus

Snuffleupagus

Chazwozel said:
Guy breaks into a woman's home and starts diddling her pooter.
Click to expand...
As immature as it is this made me laugh really hard.


#55

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Chazwozel;334241][QUOTE=makare1 said:
Women get arrested for those things too. I am not sure what you are basing your opinion on... I certainly hope it isn't lifetime movies.
Click to expand...
Really? Guy breaks into a woman's home and starts diddling her pooter. She wakes up and stabs him in the shoulder. You really think she'd get charged with assault?[/QUOTE]

I know she would not. At least not in a small town in Texas. Like my post on the first page where my friend put the two assailants in the hospital. It was only over a threatened rape, not an actual sexual assault in progress.


#56



Chazwozel

Snuffleupagus;334248][QUOTE=Chazwozel said:
Guy breaks into a woman's home and starts diddling her pooter.
Click to expand...
As immature as it is this made me laugh really hard.[/QUOTE]


Oh you gotta love them backhanded complements.


#57

Snuffleupagus

Snuffleupagus

Chazwozel;334257][QUOTE=Snuffleupagus;334248][QUOTE=Chazwozel said:
Guy breaks into a woman's home and starts diddling her pooter.
Click to expand...
As immature as it is this made me laugh really hard.[/QUOTE]


Oh you gotta love them backhanded complements.[/QUOTE]

I meant I was immature.


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