Terrible story that had me laughing.

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Dave

Dave

Staff member
Okay, forst let me say that this story is terrible. I am trying to find a link but it was on one of our news stations (KPTM Fox 42) on one broadcast and then not shown again. If I find a link I'll supply it.

Okay, so this 41 year old guy goes to sleep. He wakes up and a different 39 year old guy is playing with the sleeping guy's junk. So the 41 year old freaks out & stabs the 39 year old guy.

Both men are being charged - the 41 year old for assault and the 39 year old for sexual assault. The stabbed guy is going to live. So horrible as it is as a situation it sure could have been worse.

But this is where my fevered twisted brain starts to fire on multiple cylinders. Why, you ask, do I find this funny?


Three's Company.


I pictured this guy laying in bed, dreaming. A beautiful girl starts to nuzzle his neck, her skin gleaming in the sun. Her perfect, perky breasts against his arm as his breathing quickens. She smiles as her hand travels down his body, finally resting on his crotch...

In Three's Company, Jack would have awoke to find a dog licking his face and hilarity would ensue. In this case he wakes up and there's a dude playing with his junk. Different ending.


Yes, my wife thinks I'm insane.
 
sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

I can't see a jury prosecuting the physical assault in that case.

I know a lady-friend of mine put two guys in the hospital that only threatened to rape her, and there were no charges pressed or time in jail for her.

And this guy was actually getting raped...
 
D

Dusty668

When i was growing up, nrrfl mnn gloorb meant nrrfl mnn gloorb dammit!
 
M

makare

Self defense is pretty limited. If someone is able to get away from the situation generally the selfdefense argument isn't allowed. The man would have to show that he couldn't have gotten away. It really depends on the state though.
 
Espy

Espy

Wouldn't being startled by something like this count for a rather shocked state though? I mean, I sure as hell wouldn't be thinking rationally if I woke up and someone was sexually assaulting me. Maybe a better question is, "How would Makere" defend this guy in court? :)
 
D

Deschain

A proper Castle Law state will protect this guy, if he was on his property and the guy was not supposed to be there.
 
strawman

strawman

They still have to prosecute, mainly to render a verdict of not guilty so the other trial will go forward more easily.
 
R

Rubicon

Reminds me of a really bad, (as in oh god 4chan type bad) joke I once heard;

A guy and his daughter are at the beach on vacation. While changing out of his swim trunks, his daughter accidentally see's his penis and pubic hair. "Daddy. what's that?" she asks. Her father hurriedly covers up and says "that's daddy's bird, you have to be careful and never look at it or go near it, ok honey?" "Ok daddy".

A few hours later the man wakes up in the hospital, his groin bandaged, in severe pain and groggy. He asks his daughter sitting next to him, "Honey, what happened?! why am I in the hospital? Are you ok?!". She looks up at him with those sad child eyes and says "Well, I went to pet your bird and it spit at me, so I broke it's neck in half and ripped out all of its feathers"
 
Bowielee

Bowielee

Mav said:
Reminds me of a really bad, (as in oh god 4chan type bad) joke I once heard;

A guy and his daughter are at the beach on vacation. While changing out of his swim trunks, his daughter accidentally see's his penis and pubic hair. "Daddy. what's that?" she asks. Her father hurriedly covers up and says "that's daddy's bird, you have to be careful and never look at it or go near it, ok honey?" "Ok daddy".

A few hours later the man wakes up in the hospital, his groin bandaged, in severe pain and groggy. He asks his daughter sitting next to him, "Honey, what happened?! why am I in the hospital? Are you ok?!". She looks up at him with those sad child eyes and says "Well, I went to pet your bird and it spit at me, so I broke it's neck in half and ripped out all of its feathers"
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I think I heard that joke in the 2nd grade, and I'm 34.
 
strawman

strawman

Bowielee;333673][QUOTE=Mav said:
Reminds me of a really bad, (as in oh god 4chan type bad) joke I once heard;

A guy and his daughter are at the beach on vacation. While changing out of his swim trunks, his daughter accidentally see's his penis and pubic hair. "Daddy. what's that?" she asks. Her father hurriedly covers up and says "that's daddy's bird, you have to be careful and never look at it or go near it, ok honey?" "Ok daddy".

A few hours later the man wakes up in the hospital, his groin bandaged, in severe pain and groggy. He asks his daughter sitting next to him, "Honey, what happened?! why am I in the hospital? Are you ok?!". She looks up at him with those sad child eyes and says "Well, I went to pet your bird and it spit at me, so I broke it's neck in half and ripped out all of its feathers"
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I think I heard that joke in the 2nd grade, and I'm 34.[/QUOTE]

Don't feel too bad. Lots of people take a long time to finish 2nd grade. Just pretend you're going for the record!
 
P

Philosopher B.

Dude was lucky he got stabbed. You mess with a man's junk when he's not looking, you ought to get a shotgun blast to the tits.
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
Green_Lantern;334086][QUOTE=Cajungal said:
Good lord. Dave, you're a nut. What a strange story... they didn't know each other or anything?
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what the Gal that is Cajun said. Really, WTF dave? That is just sick.[/QUOTE]

Oh come on! I tried to explain why I thought this was funny. I said it before and I'll say it again - it's a horrible story and there are no winners. i do not condone neither the sexual assault nor the stabbing.

Having said that, my mind immediately went to the Three's Company thing where the guy is having a sexy dream and wakes up to a different reality. Like the dog licking his face (seen in many movies and shows) or this guy fondling him. If it weren't for the stabbing the situation could be in a TV sitcom.
 
S

Shadazz

I take Dave's side, sounds like something straight out of a Fratboy comedy. Minus the stabbing, or maybe. I don't keep up with American Pie nowadays.

I chuckled at Dave's comparison, but at the same time, it's fucking sick. I don't blame him for stabbing him, for all he knew the guy might've done worse.. especially to his lower half.
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
I do blame him for the stabby, unless he was very aggressive. But as it's not known how aggressive he was I can't say. They DID charge the guy so it might not be that aggressive.
 
Bowielee

Bowielee

I love how people view touching another man's junk as a worse offense than stabbing them. I'm sure there was a much less lethal way to force the guy to stop.
 
Cajungal

Cajungal

Staff member
Dave;334090][QUOTE=Green_Lantern;334086][QUOTE=Cajungal said:
Good lord. Dave, you're a nut. What a strange story... they didn't know each other or anything?
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what the Gal that is Cajun said. Really, WTF dave? That is just sick.[/QUOTE]

Oh come on! I tried to explain why I thought this was funny. I said it before and I'll say it again - it's a horrible story and there are no winners. i do not condone neither the sexual assault nor the stabbing.

Having said that, my mind immediately went to the Three's Company thing where the guy is having a sexy dream and wakes up to a different reality. Like the dog licking his face (seen in many movies and shows) or this guy fondling him. If it weren't for the stabbing the situation could be in a TV sitcom.[/QUOTE]

I didn't say it wasn't funny--just that you're a nut! It made me laugh too, sad as this whole thing is.

---------- Post added at 10:13 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:06 AM ----------
Bowielee said:
I love how people view touching another man's junk as a worse offense than stabbing them. I'm sure there was a much less lethal way to force the guy to stop.
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He didn't *have* to stab the guy, but I'm guessing it was a knee-jerk reaction. Someone broke into his home and was messing with his privates. If that happened to me, I'd probably react the same way, although I don't keep anything sharp in my room. Once someone's entered my home (and other stuff) without my permission, I don't feel that bad for them anymore. I wish he hadn't gotten stabbed. A knock on the head probably would have done the same thing... but if it were me I wouldn't sit up calmly and say, "Excuse me, but that's not for you."
 
Bowielee

Bowielee

We have no idea that anyone broke into anyone's home. For all we know, this was a party situation gone awry.

Okay, so this 41 year old guy goes to sleep. He wakes up and a different 39 year old guy is playing with the sleeping guy's junk. So the 41 year old freaks out & stabs the 39 year old guy.

Both men are being charged - the 41 year old for assault and the 39 year old for sexual assault. The stabbed guy is going to live. So horrible as it is as a situation it sure could have been worse.
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This is all we know and the rest people have filled in the blanks in on themselves. I'm thinking that there's more to the story given the arrest of the guy doing the stabbing.

Besides, people aren't reacting so much to the defending my home issue as, if some guy tries to touch my junk he should be stabbed or worse.
 
Cajungal

Cajungal

Staff member
Oops. Yep, assumptions. In that case, yeah, could've been a misunderstanding. Maybe the guy just had the wrong room.
 
Bowielee

Bowielee

General Specific said:
If the victim of this story was a woman, would we be having the same debate?
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I don't know about you, but I would.

Also, it depends on which victim you're referring to. The conversation would take a completely different turn depending on if the victim is the person being stabbed, or the person having their genitals touched.
 
sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Bowielee said:
We have no idea that anyone broke into anyone's home. For all we know, this was a party situation gone awry.

Okay, so this 41 year old guy goes to sleep. He wakes up and a different 39 year old guy is playing with the sleeping guy's junk. So the 41 year old freaks out & stabs the 39 year old guy.

Both men are being charged - the 41 year old for assault and the 39 year old for sexual assault. The stabbed guy is going to live. So horrible as it is as a situation it sure could have been worse.
Click to expand...
This is all we know and the rest people have filled in the blanks in on themselves. I'm thinking that there's more to the story given the arrest of the guy doing the stabbing.

Besides, people aren't reacting so much to the defending my home issue as, if some guy tries to touch my junk he should be stabbed or worse.
Click to expand...
Yes, sexual assault is just fine and dandy with everyone, as long as they are the same sex. Surely a rapist will stop once you say no.
 
Green_Lantern

Green_Lantern

Staff member
Cajungal;334117][QUOTE=Dave;334090][QUOTE=Green_Lantern;334086][QUOTE=Cajungal said:
Good lord. Dave, you're a nut. What a strange story... they didn't know each other or anything?
Click to expand...
what the Gal that is Cajun said. Really, WTF dave? That is just sick.[/QUOTE]

Oh come on! I tried to explain why I thought this was funny. I said it before and I'll say it again - it's a horrible story and there are no winners. i do not condone neither the sexual assault nor the stabbing.

Having said that, my mind immediately went to the Three's Company thing where the guy is having a sexy dream and wakes up to a different reality. Like the dog licking his face (seen in many movies and shows) or this guy fondling him. If it weren't for the stabbing the situation could be in a TV sitcom.[/QUOTE]

I didn't say it wasn't funny--just that you're a nut! It made me laugh too, sad as this whole thing is.

[/QUOTE]

I din't found it funny at all, but because of recent shortpacked strips this issue of sexually harrassing men = funny makes me mad >.<
 
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