[Thread Game] Terrible Video Game Descriptions (MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS)

• Main character is a mute ginger
• Best friend is a nerd
• Crazy blonde gets main character caught up in crazy road trip.
• Makes friends along the way with: a slippery fellow; a dude who is totally metal; a chick who is a complete neanderthal; and a goth guy with family issues.
Chrono Trigger :D
 
  • Work as a travel agent
  • Work as a Spy
  • Assistant Mechanic
  • Mop Floors
  • Run a Casino
  • Swab Decks
  • Captain a Ship
  • Operate Heavy Machinery
  • Travel by Dog Sled
  • Rocket Scientist
  • Vegas-style Stage Show
  • Revolutionary / Assassin
I think I might have missed a few, but that should be enough.
Grim Fandango?
 

figmentPez

Staff member
Bingo.

Next up!
  • Brothers get brainwashed.
  • Have to hunt down your brothers.
  • Take parts of your brothers with you to use against your other brothers.
  • Chase down the person who did this to your brothers.
  • Let the motherfucker that made you kill your brothers live.
MegaMan?
 

North_Ranger

Staff member
Bingo.

Next up!
  • Brothers get brainwashed.
  • Have to hunt down your brothers.
  • Take parts of your brothers with you to use against your other brothers.
  • Chase down the person who did this to your brothers.
  • Let the motherfucker that made you kill your brothers live.
Uh... Baldur's Gate?
 

figmentPez

Staff member
  • Move to the left
  • Punch and Kick guys
  • Move to the right
  • Punch and Kick guys
  • Move to the left
  • Punch and Kick guys
  • Move to the right
  • Punch and Kick guys
  • Move to the left
  • Punch and Kick guys
  • Rescue Girl
 
-Red tank, blue tank
-Keys, stars, fuel, sub-weapons
-Turrets/Tanks/and whatever else out to get you
-station map
- 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, BOOM.
 

figmentPez

Staff member
No, no and no.

Five levels, traveling left, right, left, right, left. I really thought that traveling left to begin with was a dead give-away, since almost all games travel to the right. This game has no throwing moves, no health pickups, no weapons (at least none used by the hero). I was about to say it's not an arcade game, but I checked and I was wrong. I'm only familiar with the NES version, but according to Wikipedia there were ports to more than a dozen different platforms (including BeOS, woah.)
 
MS Flight Simulator
Yes. (Too easy? Certainly short.)

  • Move to the left
  • Punch and Kick guys
  • Move to the right
  • Punch and Kick guys
  • Move to the left
  • Punch and Kick guys
  • Move to the right
  • Punch and Kick guys
  • Move to the left
  • Punch and Kick guys
  • Rescue Girl
Kung-Fu Master/Spartan X
(Finally figured it out but took a while to post 'cuz got stuck trying to think of a new one)

-Kill bowties
-Avoid impalement
-Try not to get a seizure
-No teapots anywhere
-Spin!

--Patrick
 
- Fight against terrorists
- Fly around in a helicopter
- Join the terrorists
- Fly around in a helicopter
- Get captured by the people who were fighting the terrorists, and by extension you
- Escape, fly around in a helicopter
- Uncover global conspiracy
- Fly around in a helicopter
- Save world
 
I had to search a bit to figure it out (I've never played it), but I don't feel like I cheated much since I guessed it at the "Viewtiful Joe?" point before your big hint drop.

No guesses on mine? Really, all you need is the first clue.

--Patrick
 
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