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The Never-ending Haiku Thread.

#1

Dave

Dave

The rules:

  1. All posts must be in haiku form.
  2. The first word of your haiku must be the last line of the previous poster's haiku.
I'll start.

There is no Ignore
For either people or threads
Jay will suck a dick.

(Remember, the next haiku has to start with the line, "Jay will suck a dick".)


#2

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Jay will suck a dick.
Shego will serve it to him.
Next door, much screaming.


#3

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Next door, much screaming.
Sounds of frustration as well.
Much like Nick's prom night.


#4

Hylian

Hylian

Much like Nick's Prom Night
There shall be many dashed hopes
When the lights go off


#5

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

When the lights go off
The Monster in the Darkness
Hello Kitty trashed


#6

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Hello Kitty trashed
Booze is her only escape
From years of cuteness


#7

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

From years of cuteness
Through decades of nostalgia
To eternal night.


#8

GasBandit

GasBandit

To eternal night:
A self-employment nightmare
No rest for hookers.


#9

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

No rest for hookers.
Busy night under street lights.
They hardly stood up.


#10

Dave

Dave

They hardly stand up,
my arguments with the wife.
Time to hit the couch.


#11

GasBandit

GasBandit

Time to hit the couch
It's had this coming for a while.
.. bitch-ass, jumped-up chair.


#12

Dave

Dave

Bitch-ass, jumped up chair!
This line made me laugh out loud.
My ottoman cried.


#13

Fun Size

Fun Size

My ottoman cried,
"An empire ended, and why?
That jive ass Turkey."


#14

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

My ottoman cried
Having cabbage for dinner
Poisoned my seat

***

That jive ass Turkey
Zerg rushed north of Cyprus
Greece cries out "IMBA!"


#15

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

(You people are too damn fast! I've had to rewrite about three of these!)

Greece cries out "IMBA!"
I have no clue what that means.
Speak AMERICAN!


#16

PatrThom

PatrThom

Speak AMERICAN!
Tell me your juicy secrets!
Don't make me get rough!

--Patrick


#17

Fun Size

Fun Size

Don't make me get rough?
You need a new catch phrase there,
Mr. Sandpaper.


#18

Hylian

Hylian

Mr. Sandpaper.
I see we have now met again
You still rub me wrong


#19

Fun Size

Fun Size

You still rub me wrong,
Like Nick's prom night, but with less
Lotion and crying.


#20

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Lotion and crying.
But it does what it is told.
It won't get the hose.


#21

GasBandit

GasBandit

It won't get the hose.
May be a relief, but won't
Be like nick's prom night.


#22

drifter

drifter

Be like Nick's prom night.
Tears and recriminations
or sexy fun time?


#23

GasBandit

GasBandit

Or sexy fun time
will be the last thing you see
Mister Bond, he laughed.


#24

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Mister Bond, he laughed.
Jay very much hates this shit.
Penis, penis, cock.


#25

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Penis, penis, cock.
Shego likes none of those things.
I agree with her.


#26

Gusto

Gusto

Penis, penis, cock,
just like all other haikus,
tells of Nick's prom night. :facepalm:


#27

David

David

I agree with her
That dress DOES make her look fat.
Divorce papers signed.


#28

Krisken

Krisken

Divorce papers signed
A union shattered with ink
Worth every penny


#29

PatrThom

PatrThom

Worth every penny
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Takes two AAA's

--Patrick


#30

Jax

Jax

Takes two AAA's
Again sounds like Nicks prom night
I sense a pattern


#31

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

I sense a pattern
Five, seven, five, one per post
And no end in sight


#32

filmfanatic

filmfanatic

And no end in sight
Ground control to Major Tom
Put your helmet on


#33

PatrThom

PatrThom

Put your helmet on
Damn squirrels are craziest
this time of the year

--Patrick


#34

GasBandit

GasBandit

this time of the year
one has to be careful for
the herpes on heels.


#35

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

The herpes on heels.
They work along 9th Street here.
Most don't have their teeth.


#36

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Most don't have their teeth
A legion of the undead.
Fuck! Zombie Gummer!


#37

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Fuck! Zombie gummer!
The Governor's fixation
Mankind's nuisance


#38

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Mankind's nuisance
Constant lunacy and tears
Go away, Glenn Beck!


#39

PatrThom

PatrThom

Go away, Glenn Beck!
Drive off in your waambulance.
Give me NPR.

--Patrick


#40

Denbrought

Denbrought

Give me NPR,
Melody of happiness,
A cute kitteh's meow.


#41

Jax

Jax

A cute kitteh's meow
distorted by a pop tart
nyanyanyanyanya!


#42

PatrThom

PatrThom

Nyanyanyanyanya!
What sort of last line is this?
I can't haiku that.

--Patrick


#43

Denbrought

Denbrought

I can't haiku that,
As if haiku were a verb...
Shame on your English.


#44

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Shame on your English.
Not enough spin on the ball.
Practice billiards more.


#45

Jax

Jax

Practice billiards more
aim and shoot balls in the hole
I can has prom night?


#46

PatrThom

PatrThom

I can has prom night?
I want Leslie and Jamie
On my VCR.


#47

GasBandit

GasBandit

On my vcr
Jenna Jameson works it
Why I don't chuck it.


#48

drifter

drifter

Why I don't chuck it,
who is going to buy'em?
Those damn baby shoes.


#49

GasBandit

GasBandit

Those damn baby shoes,
used, and for sale, never worn.
Hemingway's shortest.


#50

Gusto

Gusto

Hemingway's shortest.
So he doesn't bodybuild.
Decent boxer though.


#51

CrimsonSoul

CrimsonSoul

Decent boxer though.
He has some bad allergy's
a-a-a-haiku!


#52

drifter

drifter


A-a-a-haiku!
Stuh-stuh-stuttering is not
very optimal.


#53

drifter

drifter

Very optimal
conditions not expected;
stay in this weekend.


#54

GasBandit

GasBandit

stay in this weekend
Stay in tonight as well, sir.
just... never go out.


#55

Krisken

Krisken

Just... never go out
The frog men arrive from sea
Cthulhu rises


#56

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Cthulu rises
Every morning like all guys
Chicks dig tentacles


#57

GasBandit

GasBandit

Chicks dig tentacles.
I've seen enough hentai to
know where this will go.


#58

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Know where this will go
See the future beforehand
Life sans surprises.


#59

Frank

Frankie Williamson

Life sans surprises
Doctor Manhattan is sad
Off to the cosmos


#60

filmfanatic

filmfanatic

Off to the cosmos
Go, Dashing Prince! Roll up all!
Yay Katamari!


#61

checkeredhat

checkeredhat

Yay Katamari!
Not good enough for the King
He's kind of a dick.


#62



BErt

"He's kind of a dick."
Then I'm thrown into the sun
Damn you, Superman!


#63

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Damn you, Superman!
Underpants on top of pants
Gets me no ladies


#64

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Gets me no ladies
Keeps them all for himself. What
A dick that guy is.


#65

Dave

Dave

A dick that guy is,
thought Yoda. He won't even
balance the damn Force!


#66

BananaHands

BananaHands

Two little dragons,
They conquer with mere bubbles,
One green and one blue.



Read the thread rules, ya noob!


#67

GasBandit

GasBandit

Balance the damn force!
One team is all tanks, other
is all DPS.


#68

General Specific

General Specific

is all DPS
flaming monkey sits on head
random words say I


#69

PatrThom

PatrThom

Random words say I
Mexicali overload
Won't do that again

--Patrick


#70

checkeredhat

checkeredhat

Won't do that again.
"Rocky Mountain Bear-Fuckers"
I'm so hungover


#71

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

I'm so hungover
Dear God, if You let me live
I won't drink again


#72

Dave

Dave

I won't drink again.
My auto is upside down.
Blood dripping slowly.


#73

Gared

Gared

Blood dripping slowly.
I should have had more water.
Too dehydrated.


#74

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Too dehydrated.
Should have brought a bigger flask.
Curse you, mirages!


#75

Dave

Dave

Curse you, mirages!
I totally thought that the
Women were all real!


#76

Fun Size

Fun Size

Women were all real
In my day. No fake boobs there.
Now get off my lawn.


#77

Dave

Dave

Now get off my lawn!
Did I say that already?
Damn, getting old sucks.


#78

PatrThom

PatrThom

Damn, getting old sucks.
Can't remember anything!
Damn, getting old sucks.

--Patrick


#79

GasBandit

GasBandit

Damn, getting old sucks.
Can't remember anything!
Damn, getting old sucks.


#80

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Damn, getting old sucks.
I'm getting tired of my
Hairy balls hanging


#81

Dave

Dave

Officer_Charon said:
Damn, getting old sucks.
I'm getting tired of my
Hairy balls hanging
Click to expand...
Hairy balls hanging...
clack clack clack clack clack clack clack
I can't walk quiet.


#82

filmfanatic

filmfanatic

I can't walk quiet.
Leaves crack beneath my feet.
So much for peeping.


#83

PatrThom

PatrThom

So much for peeping.
Hey, your time is up there! Go!
Twenty bucks an hour!

--Patrick


#84

Emrys

Emrys

Twenty bucks an hour!
You've got to be kidding me!
I'm worth twice that much.


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