Tucker Max/Maddox

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Cuyval Dar

I was reading through his website and Maddox's again, and found this gem:

[STRIKE]Friendly Fire[/STRIKE]The Frosty Susan

These are funny, but karma being the bitch that she is, my activities eventually caught up with me. The summer before I started law school, I was seeing a girl in Miami named "Courtney."
She was incredibly hot--one of those girls you have a physical reaction too as soon as you see her.
One time we were fucking doggy style, incredible sex, and right as I was about to come I pulled back too far and my dick came out. I didn't realize it, and as I thrust forward again, instead of going back into her vagina my dick stuck in her ass crack (NOT into her asshole, but her crack, between her butt cheeks, like a hot dog...sort of).
I was leaning over her, my face right above the back of her head, and I looked down at my dick right as I hit climax...and shot nut INTO MY OWN EYE.
A direct hit, right into my wide-open eye. I didn't even see it coming...literally.
Almost immediately, I developed a personal appreciation for how much come stings. That shit BURNED. It took me a minute to wash it out, but the sting, and the redness, stayed for a good 4 or 5 hours.
Fuck you karma.
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Anyway, this thread is for sharing your favorite Tucker or Maddox stories.
 
C

Cuyval Dar

@Li3n;262906][quote=Cuyval Dar said:
Anyway, this thread is for sharing your favorite Tucker or Maddox stories.
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Or mocking Calleja...[/QUOTE]
Well, I was being not so subtle about it.

---------- Post added at 06:25 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:24 AM ----------
Gurpel said:
wouldnt semen, being basically a saline solution, not burn the eye?

quick someone test it out
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His semen, like the rest of his body, is 99% alcohol.
 
E

EpicEpileptic

Tucker Max's "The Absinthe Doughnuts" story is quite possible the funniest thing that I can remember reading in that book. Man I have to read it again now.
 
Charlie Don't Surf

Charlie Don't Surf

hey remember when he released his movie that was gonna be his magnum opus and the funniest thing ever and he self-released it instead of going through the studios since it was going to make him so much money?


yeah, me neither.
 
Calleja

Calleja

It does burn, believe me.

And yeah, I read the tucker max story a few months ago and punched my fist in the air... that's like almost exactly how it happened to me, so there, it happens. Ha!
 
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Cuyval Dar

Calleja said:
It does burn, believe me.

And yeah, I read the tucker max story a few months ago and punched my fist in the air... that's like almost exactly how it happened to me, so there, it happens. Ha!
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Don't ever say that I never try to find a way to make you feel better, Cayaya.
 
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