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Twilight : New Moon

Nov 18, 2009#1

Jay

Coming out this week.

So how many are being dragged by their significant others?

Beautiful vampires that shine in the sun... sweet jesus make me die.

Nov 18, 2009#2

The Lovely Boehner

I might go see this really intoxicated.

Nov 18, 2009#3

ScytheRexx

Thankfully my wife is one of the few women that thought Twilight was a good book read but otherwise didn't become obsessed with characters like Edward, we skip the movies.

Nov 18, 2009#4

Chazwozel

I had my wife watch Interview with the Vampire to show her what real vampires do. Louis is as close as the movie gets to pansy vampire, and he's still fucking Hulk compared to the pussy vampires in Twilight.

Nov 18, 2009#5

The Lovely Boehner

Charlie Dont Surf said:
I might go see this really intoxicated.

In retrospect, no. I won't go see this in theater.

Nov 18, 2009#6

North_Ranger

I will be carrying a copy of Dracula with me, just so I have something to beat the tobacco juice out of anyone who starts talking about this movie in my immediate vicinity.

Granted, it's a small book, but that only means I get to slap them a few times more.

Nov 18, 2009#7

Cajungal

I can't WAIT til Rifftrax does this movie.

Nov 18, 2009#8

@Li3n

SeriousJay said:
Beautiful vampires that shine in the sun... sweet jesus make me die.

Not shine, but SPARKLE...

I watched a bootleg copy to see what the heck all the hub-bub was about... and because it was a cam when he showed Bella the sparkling you couldn't see the effect... i was all WHAT?! Then i read about it and went WHAT THE FUCK, wasn't the movie stupid enough on it's own, they had to make him sparkle!? Sparkle... i mean shit, who even came up with that...

Nov 18, 2009#9

ElJuski

Always a fun read:

http://www.avclub.com/articles/twilight,35480/

Nov 18, 2009#10

Bowielee

Chazwozel said:
I had my wife watch Interview with the Vampire to show her what real vampires do.

Here's a quarter.

Nov 18, 2009#11

Cajungal

North_Ranger said:
I will be carrying a copy of Dracula with me, just so I have something to beat the tobacco juice out of anyone who starts talking about this movie in my immediate vicinity.

Granted, it's a small book, but that only means I get to slap them a few times more.

Wanna borrow my annotated, hardback copy of Dracula? It's about an inch and a half thick.

Nov 18, 2009#12

SpecialKO

Chazwozel said:
I had my wife watch Interview with the Vampire to show her what real vampires do. Louis is as close as the movie gets to pansy vampire, and he's still fucking Hulk compared to the pussy vampires in Twilight.

What was her reaction?

Also, Blade. Even if you don't like the films, self-wanking, sparkly vampires definitely need not apply.

Nov 18, 2009#13

Shannow

No.

Nov 18, 2009#14

Chazwozel

TeKeo;301726][quote=Chazwozel said:
I had my wife watch Interview with the Vampire to show her what real vampires do. Louis is as close as the movie gets to pansy vampire, and he's still fucking Hulk compared to the pussy vampires in Twilight.

What was her reaction?

Also, Blade. Even if you don't like the films, self-wanking, sparkly vampires definitely need not apply.[/QUOTE]

She liked it. All chicks like Ann Rice.

Nov 18, 2009#15

SpecialKO

Chazwozel;301743][quote=TeKeo;301726][quote=Chazwozel said:
I had my wife watch Interview with the Vampire to show her what real vampires do. Louis is as close as the movie gets to pansy vampire, and he's still fucking Hulk compared to the pussy vampires in Twilight.

What was her reaction?

Also, Blade. Even if you don't like the films, self-wanking, sparkly vampires definitely need not apply.[/QUOTE]

She liked it. All chicks like Ann Rice.[/QUOTE]

You could show her 30 Days of Night to remove the Ann Rice factor.

*smiley removed because the source doesn't support hotlinking*

Nov 18, 2009#16

Math242

no way. that'd be a case for break up

Nov 18, 2009#17

SpecialKO

If she made Chaz watch Twilight, fair is fair.

Nov 18, 2009#18

Frankie Williamson

My girlfriend thinks Twilight is crap.

I'll never have to watch New Moon.

Nov 18, 2009#19

North_Ranger

Frankie said:
My girlfriend thinks Twilight is crap.

I'll never have to watch New Moon.

I trust you have shown appropriate gratitude?

Making her cum so hard that her vagoo forms the epicentre of a 7.3 in the Richter scale is a good start.

Nov 18, 2009#20

Espy

SeriousJay said:
So how many are being dragged by their significant others?

No. Some of us chose well in the significant other department.

I keed, I keed.

Or do I?

Nov 18, 2009#21

Cajungal

North_Ranger;302051][quote=Frankie said:
My girlfriend thinks Twilight is crap.

I'll never have to watch New Moon.

I trust you have shown appropriate gratitude?

Making her cum so hard that her vagoo forms the epicentre of a 7.3 in the Richter scale is a good start.

[/QUOTE]

The Ranger is wise.

Nov 18, 2009#22

North_Ranger

Espy;302055][quote=SeriousJay said:
So how many are being dragged by their significant others?

No. Some of us chose well in the significant other department.

I keed, I keed.

Or do I?

[/QUOTE]

You broke the bed. I think that is significant proof of "choosing well".

Nov 18, 2009#23

Espy

Also: She watched the Batman/Superman: Public Enemies with me today. Of her own free will. Heeeeeeeeeeell yeah.

Nov 19, 2009#24

WolfOfOdin

No. No no no no no no no no no.

Last vampire movie I saw in theaters was 30 Days of Night...you know, where the vampires are vicious, brutal and predatory monsters covered in gore, like they should be.

..Oddly enough I do like True Blood. Anna Paquin naked helps

Nov 19, 2009#25

Math242

true blood is indeed a great show. (i've only seen season 1 so far)

Nov 19, 2009#26

Bowielee

So, I decided to finally watch Twilight to see it it's really as bad as everyone makes it out to be.

Oh, yeah, it was worse that I had imagined.

The dialogue sounded like it was written by a 7 year old. None of the characters were developed enough to give a rats ass about. The acting was HORRIBLE. The love scenes made the scenes with Anakin and Padme seem awesome by comparison.

Nov 19, 2009#27

The Lovely Boehner

True Blood owns.

Nov 19, 2009#28

North_Ranger

Charlie Dont Surf said:
True Blood owns.

I hope your last will and testament is in order. You know, just in case...

Nov 19, 2009#29

ElJuski

WolfOfOdin said:
No. No no no no no no no no no.

Last vampire movie I saw in theaters was 30 Days of Night...you know, where the vampires are vicious, brutal and predatory monsters covered in gore, like they should be.

..Oddly enough I do like True Blood. Anna Paquin naked helps

Actually, like they should be is neither Twilight nor that schlocky-ass 30 Days of Night, though it'd be nice to see them do the latter kind of visceral beast better.

BUT, that's not really the vampire in the classical sense. BUT, the vampire in the classical sense is pretty outdated. BUT, I wouldn't mind seeing a movie set in contemporary times that did the classical mind-fucking without devolving into the sexual allure.

Nov 19, 2009#30

The Lovely Boehner

ElJuski said:
the classical mind-fucking without devolving into the sexual allure.

what. almost all vampire stories are an allegory of sex.

Nov 19, 2009#31

ElJuski

The difference being that Dracula works its sexuality through subjugation and assimilation--there's a strong sense of rape and deflowering--through the sexual hangups--the heavy homosexual slant--and through sexual no-nos--Lucy Ford and her little boy nabbin'.

You know, instead of hot guys and hot chicks all suckin on your :O

---------- Post added at 04:35 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:33 PM ----------

In other words, yes, by their very nature vampires are connected to sexual feelings. The difference is that good vampire stories use the sexuality as a point of fear or social commentary rather than completely inverting it--ala Twilight and making turning it into romance or a sex that we actively want.

Nov 19, 2009#32

Bowielee

You do realize that though Bram Stoker defined the modern vampire mythos, it's not the holy bible of what vampires should be like, right?

Nov 19, 2009#33

HowDroll

My brother and I are going at midnight tonight, and I'm super excited.

Nov 19, 2009#34

@Li3n

HowDroll said:
My brother and I are going at midnight tonight, and I'm super excited.

Notes down that HowDroll doesn't mind creepy dudes sneaking in her bedroom at night to watch her sleep while holding back the impulse to rip her throat out.

Good to know i'll have something to do this holiday season...

Nov 19, 2009#35

The Lovely Boehner

HowDroll said:
My brother and I are going at midnight tonight, and I'm super excited.

Are you going to be high or drunk?

Nov 19, 2009#36

HowDroll

Charlie Dont Surf;302438][quote=HowDroll said:
My brother and I are going at midnight tonight, and I'm super excited.

Are you going to be high or drunk?[/QUOTE]

...

Yes.

---------- Post added at 11:52 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:51 AM ----------

@Li3n;302410][quote=HowDroll said:
My brother and I are going at midnight tonight, and I'm super excited.

Nov 19, 2009#37

Cajungal

You must promise to post afterwards!

Nov 19, 2009#38

The Lovely Boehner

HowDroll;302443][quote=Charlie Dont Surf;302438][quote=HowDroll said:
My brother and I are going at midnight tonight, and I'm super excited.

Are you going to be high or drunk?[/QUOTE]

...

Yes.[/QUOTE]

oh my god that is the best possible answer you could have given

Nov 19, 2009#39

HowDroll

Cajungal said:
You must promise to post afterwards!

Post what?

Nov 19, 2009#40

Allen, who is Quiet

afterwards

Nov 19, 2009#41

HowDroll

Charlie Dont Surf;302450][quote=HowDroll;302443][quote=Charlie Dont Surf;302438][quote=HowDroll said:
My brother and I are going at midnight tonight, and I'm super excited.

Are you going to be high or drunk?[/QUOTE]

...

Yes.[/QUOTE]

oh my god that is the best possible answer you could have given[/QUOTE]

I'm just going to laugh at the Twihards, honestly. I was dragged to the first Twilight by my friends, like, three weeks after it opened, and there were STILL girls squealing and producing massive amounts of panty pudding even then. I'm not sure I'll make it out alive on opening night.

Nov 19, 2009#42

Cajungal

HowDroll;302451][quote=Cajungal said:
You must promise to post afterwards!

Post what?[/QUOTE]

About the experience.

---------- Post added at 11:55 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:55 AM ----------

Also, :rofl:

...panty pudding.

Nov 19, 2009#43

The Lovely Boehner

All joking aside, the general vibe I'm getting is that this is a much better movie than the first, with some actual cool action setpieces and things that actually happen during the running time. And the special effects are a cut above Road Runner legs on vampires playing baseball.

Nov 19, 2009#44

HowDroll

Charlie Dont Surf said:
All joking aside, the general vibe I'm getting is that this is a much better movie than the first, with some actual cool action setpieces and things that actually happen during the running time. And the special effects are a cut above Road Runner legs on vampires playing baseball.

Good god, I hope not. The first one was comedy gold. I'd much rather go and see a facepalmingly bad movie than a mediocre one.

Nov 19, 2009#45

@Li3n

Cajungal said:
You must promise to post afterwards!

During... she must post live impressions.

Nov 19, 2009#46

Espy

HowDroll;302463][quote=Charlie Dont Surf said:
All joking aside, the general vibe I'm getting is that this is a much better movie than the first, with some actual cool action setpieces and things that actually happen during the running time. And the special effects are a cut above Road Runner legs on vampires playing baseball.

Good god, I hope not. The first one was comedy gold. I'd much rather go and see a facepalmingly bad movie than a mediocre one.[/QUOTE]

Don't worry, every review I have read says while it has a few decent moments it is still a absolutely terrible film.

Nov 19, 2009#47

ElJuski

Bowielee said:
You do realize that though Bram Stoker defined the modern vampire mythos, it's not the holy bible of what vampires should be like, right?

This news has just blown my mind.

---------- Post added at 06:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:49 PM ----------

HowDroll;302463][quote=Charlie Dont Surf said:
All joking aside, the general vibe I'm getting is that this is a much better movie than the first, with some actual cool action setpieces and things that actually happen during the running time. And the special effects are a cut above Road Runner legs on vampires playing baseball.

Good god, I hope not. The first one was comedy gold. I'd much rather go and see a facepalmingly bad movie than a mediocre one.[/QUOTE]

You couldn't have waited a couple more days so that I could join?

Nov 19, 2009#48

The Lovely Boehner

Richard Roeper said:
Perhaps for Spring Break, the "Twilight" kids can take a trip to Bon Temps, La., Edward can down a few pints of True Blood and get tips on courtship from Vampire Bill, Jacob can hang out with the shape-shifters---and Bella can find a mentor in Sookie Stackhouse, who can show her a few things about how to get knee deep in the vampire world, grown-up style.

writing fan fiction now

Nov 19, 2009#49

sixpackshaker

Bowielee said:
You do realize that though Bram Stoker defined the modern vampire mythos, it's not the holy bible of what vampires should be like, right?

Nov 19, 2009#50

The Pumes

Meh, the Twilight series is an overhyped piece of crap that is like regular grits. Plain, a bit boring and looks like it sparkles in sunlight. It's a fad that will surely pass when something bigger comes along and vampires can go back to being the awesomely dark, seductive creatures they were born to be.

Nov 19, 2009#51

Bowielee

sixpackshaker;302540][quote=Bowielee said:
You do realize that though Bram Stoker defined the modern vampire mythos, it's not the holy bible of what vampires should be like, right?

Dracula is such a compelling character that he is still being written about 112 years later. I don't think the same will hold true for the Twilight Vampires.

In my eye the compelling Vampires are the classy seducers. Not the gore drenched, mindless freaks, and especially not sparkly, teeny-boppers.[/quote]

My point is that the vampire mythos has been around since recorded history. Most cultures have some sort of variation on it.

Dracula was Stoker's take on it. Personally, I like the elegant but evil version of vampires with a dash of psycho killer thrown in.

That's personal preference. There is no hard definition of how vampires should be seeing as it's all just a mishmash of sexual symbolism mashed up with old superstitions caused by the original misunderstanding of how decomposition affects a dead body.

For the record, Dracula is one of the few books I've read over and over again and I love it.

Nov 19, 2009#52

HowDroll

ElJuski;302525][quote=Bowielee said:
You do realize that though Bram Stoker defined the modern vampire mythos, it's not the holy bible of what vampires should be like, right?

This news has just blown my mind.

---------- Post added at 06:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:49 PM ----------

HowDroll;302463][quote=Charlie Dont Surf said:
All joking aside, the general vibe I'm getting is that this is a much better movie than the first, with some actual cool action setpieces and things that actually happen during the running time. And the special effects are a cut above Road Runner legs on vampires playing baseball.

Nov 19, 2009#53

ElJuski

Yeah, tomorrow not I'm going to the MOTHERFUCKEN PIXIES AT THE ARAGON!

And then the usual shitshow that Thanksgiving brings. You should come out to Tambo Tuesday in the city! It's a kegger of fun.

---------- Post added at 09:04 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:01 PM ----------

Oh, and also, yeah, I think we're talking about the same thing Bowie. Saying that Stoker's vampire is the definitive vampire is saying that Romero's zombie is the definitive zombie, for all intents and purpose. There's just so much more that you could do with Stoker's type--and I think that's why it was so poignant, specifically to our sexually repressed culture--than other variations. 30 Days of Night, for instance, could have replaced the vampire with any sort of monstrous boogie-woogies with the same effect.

I will say "God? No God" was one of my favorite lines in that movie; probably the only thing that gave me goosebumps in an overall shlocky movie that had potential but lost it in the juggle.

Nov 19, 2009#54

Bowielee

I actually loved 30 Days of Night. It didn't have any namby pamby quasi goth vampires whining about their tortured existence.

My only problem with the movie was the fact that they moved into town and started slaughtering everyone right away when they had the unique opportunity to have all day all night hunting for 30 days. It kind of deflates the premise, seeing as they could have moved into any town and slaughtered them all in the space of a day.

I thought the vampires themselves were great and pretty true to the more primitive mythos of vampires.

as to

30 Days of Night, for instance, could have replaced the vampire with any sort of monstrous boogie-woogies with the same effect.

The same could be said about just about any horror movie featuring one of the staple monsters that feed on humans when the story is more about the humans themselves than the monsters.

One thing I need to clarify is that Dracula wasn't romantic or seductive, really. His description of him in the book is not that of some sort of dashing gentleman. He used mesmerism to get his claws into his victims, but his physical description is closer to Nosferatu than Lestat.

The regal count bullcrap was completely a Hollywood fabrication.

Nov 19, 2009#55

ElJuski

Yeah, and in fact, he looked a lot like Oscar Wilde, had hairy palms and seduced Jonathon Parker. Trust me, I'm well acquainted with the text. But what Dracula did was play cat and mouse with his prey, the slow descent into sin and destruction while the victim slowly--or never--realizes what's going on.

Stoker took the vampire and made it the fear of assimilation. Sin, sexuality, even immigration. It's about the slow but eventual take over of the oppressor.

Nosferatu was a rickety old bag of bones;You can spout the primitive mythos stuff but honestly, I don't see any of it. And yeah, you can say that about a lot of movies, from Dracula to Batman. Doesn't make my opinion of which trope I'd rather see any less valid.

Nov 19, 2009#56

Bowielee

ElJuski said:
Nosferatu was a rickety old bag of bones;You can spout the primitive mythos stuff but honestly, I don't see any of it. And yeah, you can say that about a lot of movies, from Dracula to Batman. Doesn't make my opinion of which trope I'd rather see any less valid.

I honestly don't understand what you're saying here and how it relates to my post in any way.

Nov 19, 2009#57

WolfOfOdin

Frankly Bowielee, my bile towards twilight is that the vampires in it are almost completely and utterly unkillable, perfectly beautiful and obscenely strong...there's no flaw to them at all, and that makes them horribly boring.

The aura I like a vampire to have is one of the predator, which is why I loved the vampires of 30 days of night so much...I mean come on, they looked like a great white shark squeezed into human skin.

One of the reasons Dracula strikes me as so popular is that he, as Juski said, acts like a great and horrible cat. He plays with his prey, toys with them and eventually moves in for the kill and discards them if the game wasn't fun enough (Lucy).

Twilight's vampires exist for no other purpose but to be eternally pretty men and women who angst about their 'curse'...which is one of the reasons I loathe Lestat, oddly enough, though he was enough of a prick to be amusing.

Nov 19, 2009#58

Bowielee

Whoa, hold your roll there partner. I'm not defending Twilight at all. If anything I'm defending 30 Days of Night.

As for the Twilight vampires, why wouldn't everyone just want to be one? Eternal youth, super strength, reflexes with none of the downside of being a vampire? Where do I sign up?

Nov 19, 2009#59

@Li3n

Bowielee said:
One thing I need to clarify is that Dracula wasn't romantic or seductive, really. His description of him in the book is not that of some sort of dashing gentleman. He used mesmerism to get his claws into his victims, but his physical description is closer to Nosferatu than Lestat.

If the novel wasn't written when it was i'd agree... but for victorians that thing was porn...

Nov 19, 2009#60

Bowielee

@Li3n;302763][quote=Bowielee said:
One thing I need to clarify is that Dracula wasn't romantic or seductive, really. His description of him in the book is not that of some sort of dashing gentleman. He used mesmerism to get his claws into his victims, but his physical description is closer to Nosferatu than Lestat.

Nov 19, 2009#61

@Li3n

Bowielee said:
His appearance and demeanor? not so much.

well he was based on this guy:

who's brother was known as The Fair because of of the comparison between them.

But i think you're thinking about the description of Dracula as an old dude... after he de-aged himself by feeding the main characteristic of his was having mean little eyes... he's never described as repulsive in any physical way. Count Orlok he certainly was not.

Nov 19, 2009#62

WolfOfOdin

Bowielee said:
Whoa, hold your roll there partner. I'm not defending Twilight at all. If anything I'm defending 30 Days of Night.

As for the Twilight vampires, why wouldn't everyone just want to be one? Eternal youth, super strength, reflexes with none of the downside of being a vampire? Where do I sign up?

Haha, sorry.

What you said is the crux of why Twilight's vampires are simply horrible. They have absolutely NO downside to being what they are, none. Vampirism should have some trade-off in the transition, otherwise it's just a mary sue fantasy, which is completely the way I view Twilight. For example, everything Lestat touches more or less ends up with a violent urge to murder him horribly, the 30 days of Night vampires are bestial, violent and nearly berserk monsters in human skin and Dracula is an abomination against God who's mere presence is enough to cause madness, death and disease where there was none before.

Hell, ALL supernatural creatures that were once human usually have a large list of down-sides. Werewolves? Homocidal bloodlust and cannibalism. Zombies? Complete and utter lack of an individual mind...and cannibalism.

What I'd REALLY like to see a movie on soon is the Wendigo, that would be interesting.

An aside...anyone else notice that most of our favorite supernatural creatures are ravening cannibals?

Nov 19, 2009#63

@Li3n

WolfOfOdin said:
What I'd REALLY like to see a movie on soon is the Wendigo, that would be interesting.

There's a great movie about a Wendingo... but i can't remember the name...

Nov 19, 2009#64

WolfOfOdin

@Li3n;302773][quote=WolfOfOdin said:
What I'd REALLY like to see a movie on soon is the Wendigo, that would be interesting.

There's a great movie about a Wendingo... but i can't remember the name...[/QUOTE]

Ravenous?

Nov 19, 2009#65

Null

Ravenous was good but it felt like there were parts missing (ironic in a cannibal horror movie...)

What bothers me about Twilight isn't the perfect vamps, it isn't the awful dialogue, it isn't the boring plots. It's the way domestic violence is so thoroughly romanticized throughout the entire series. "I'm stalking you, I won't let you see anyone else, and I may get violent and scary towards you, but it's okay, because, you see, I really love you a lot, despite the fact that at heart I literally prey on your kind." In fact, throughout the books is the message that it's okay for the monsters to hurt, scar, threaten, and maim their girlfriends, because they really, really love them, and the girls should just accept that.

Nov 19, 2009#66

Cajungal

Bowielee;302766][quote=@Li3n;302763][quote=Bowielee said:
One thing I need to clarify is that Dracula wasn't romantic or seductive, really. His description of him in the book is not that of some sort of dashing gentleman. He used mesmerism to get his claws into his victims, but his physical description is closer to Nosferatu than Lestat.

If the novel wasn't written when it was i'd agree... but for victorians that thing was porn...[/QUOTE]

Yes, his actions were. His appearance and demeanor? not so much.

His concubines, however... yeah, they were DAMN pornographic for the time.[/QUOTE]

Yeah he was always described as this disgusting-looking man. The book itself WAS really sexy, but he was described as this pale, grotesque man with creepy red lips.

Nov 19, 2009#67

Frankie Williamson

Cajungal;302870][quote=Bowielee;302766][quote=@Li3n;302763][quote=Bowielee said:
One thing I need to clarify is that Dracula wasn't romantic or seductive, really. His description of him in the book is not that of some sort of dashing gentleman. He used mesmerism to get his claws into his victims, but his physical description is closer to Nosferatu than Lestat.

Nov 19, 2009#68

Cajungal

BLEH! God, he grossed me out in that movie... so I guess he did his job.

Nov 19, 2009#69

ElJuski

Bowielee;302749][quote=ElJuski said:
Nosferatu was a rickety old bag of bones;You can spout the primitive mythos stuff but honestly, I don't see any of it. And yeah, you can say that about a lot of movies, from Dracula to Batman. Doesn't make my opinion of which trope I'd rather see any less valid.

I honestly don't understand what you're saying here and how it relates to my post in any way.[/QUOTE]

I was getting sick and tired of the Dracula-scholar amateur hour we're all getting into. We all know the book. What I was saying is that the original argument spurned from a personal bias of what kind of "vampire" I would have rather had, versus the 30 Days kind.

Nov 19, 2009#70

Null

I don't know about Dracula - I haven't finished the novel ever - but I know that Lord Ruthven, an even earlier literary vampire, was supposed to be a dashing, rakish seducer who was also a predatory blood-drinker. Of course, he was based on Lord Byron, so...

Nov 19, 2009#71

WolfOfOdin

How about Varney, who Stoker stole from liberally? He was a former solider and an incredibly sympathetic character filled with self-loathing and hatred.

Nov 19, 2009#72

Shakey

Frankie;302883][quote=Cajungal;302870][quote=Bowielee;302766][quote=@Li3n;302763][quote=Bowielee said:
One thing I need to clarify is that Dracula wasn't romantic or seductive, really. His description of him in the book is not that of some sort of dashing gentleman. He used mesmerism to get his claws into his victims, but his physical description is closer to Nosferatu than Lestat.

If the novel wasn't written when it was i'd agree... but for victorians that thing was porn...[/quote]

Yes, his actions were. His appearance and demeanor? not so much.

His concubines, however... yeah, they were DAMN pornographic for the time.[/quote]

Yeah he was always described as this disgusting-looking man. The book itself WAS really sexy, but he was described as this pale, grotesque man with creepy red lips.[/quote]

[/QUOTE]

Nov 19, 2009#73

SpecialKO

I would actually not mind seeing a quasi-historical film about Vlad III, a la Kingdom of Heaven or something like that.

The events he lived through and perpetrated were pretty frackin' hardcore. You'd think it would make a good movie.

Nov 19, 2009#74

Bowielee

TeKeo said:
I would actually not mind seeing a quasi-historical film about Vlad III, a la Kingdom of Heaven or something like that.

The events he lived through and perpetrated were pretty frackin' hardcore. You'd think it would make a good movie.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0240793/

Nov 19, 2009#75

Espy

You know I have a rather old copy of Dracula lying around. It has no edition listed in it though, merely a copyright date.

I wonder what edition it is?

Nov 19, 2009#76

CynicismKills

You dudes are all crazy, Blade is how vampires should be. :cool:

Nov 19, 2009#77

Hailey Knight

I find "realistic" vampires ala Blade kind of boring; it takes a lot of the fun out of them.

Nov 19, 2009#78

SpecialKO

Bowielee;302919][quote=TeKeo said:
I would actually not mind seeing a quasi-historical film about Vlad III, a la Kingdom of Heaven or something like that.

The events he lived through and perpetrated were pretty frackin' hardcore. You'd think it would make a good movie.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0240793/[/QUOTE]

That actually doesn't look too bad, especially for a TV movie.

That said, something more like Mongol or Kingdom of Heaven is kind of what I meant.

Nov 20, 2009#79

HowDroll

ZZZZZZZZZZ. What a boring movie. My brother fell asleep about halfway through it, and it was only the massive amount of caffeine I drank beforehand that kept me from doing the same. The Twihards were just as amusing as I thought they would be, but the movie itself is nowhere near as funny as the first one. I should have waited until it came out on DVD - which will probably happen around my 21st birthday - and watched it drunk.

LAAAME.

Nov 20, 2009#80

@Li3n

TeKeo said:
That actually doesn't look too bad, especially for a TV movie.

That said, something more like Mongol or Kingdom of Heaven is kind of what I meant.

Ahem: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0141966/

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9M8K9K_OSc[/ame]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3Swog2-yxo[/ame]

WolfOfOdin;302776][quote=@Li3n;302773][quote=WolfOfOdin said:
What I'd REALLY like to see a movie on soon is the Wendigo, that would be interesting.

There's a great movie about a Wendingo... but i can't remember the name...[/quote]

Ravenous?[/quote]

Yup... i have to remember that name.

---------- Post added at 10:03 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:51 AM ----------

Bowielee;302919][quote=TeKeo said:
I would actually not mind seeing a quasi-historical film about Vlad III, a la Kingdom of Heaven or something like that.

The events he lived through and perpetrated were pretty frackin' hardcore. You'd think it would make a good movie.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0240793/[/quote]

He turns into a vampire because our church excommunicates him?! Cute.

Nov 20, 2009#81

@Li3n

Uhh... nice:

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGd9qAfpZio[/ame]

Nov 20, 2009#82

North_Ranger

@Li3n said:
Uhh... nice:

Priceless.

Nov 20, 2009#83

JONJONAUG

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/entertainment/971425/crazed-twilight-fans-slice-open-necks

Twilight fans are freaking INSANE.

\"I just don't want someone to have a needle and give me HIV and I don't want to get shot or stabbed.\"

Pattinson recalled one time where a group of girls approached him bleeding from scratches they had just opened up on their necks.

\"They were like, 'We did this for you' … I didn't know what to say — 'Thank you, guys?'\"

Pattinson said he feels vulnerable at big film events such as premieres, where he could be the target of an overly obsessive fan or even a terror attack.

He admits struggling to come to terms with fame since the release of the first movie, which grossed more than $350m worldwide.

He has difficulty coping with so many people trying to \"ambush\" him in public and at home.

He said he has come to accept the attention, but would be prepared to give away acting away for his first passion — music — if the fans ever became too much

Nov 20, 2009#84

@Li3n

JONJONAUG said:
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/entertainment/971425/crazed-twilight-fans-slice-open-necks

Twilight fans are freaking INSANE.

I've got a better one: http://thesuperficial.com/2009/11/robert_pattinson_has_earned_my.php

In case anyone had doubts that Robert Pattinson could make his fans do anything, here's an anecdote he shared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show that demonstrates how easily he could violate a throng of a women at the drop of a hat. Via The Awful Truth:
\"I was doing a preinterview for this [show], and I immediately regretted saying that,\" the awkwardly adorable R.Pattz says. \"I sound like I'm actually just abusing my position.
\"It was after a period of signing 500 signatures, and one of [the fans] just came up. You kind of get 10 seconds with each person and you never really say anything, and I kind of got bored of saying, 'Hey, how are you doing?' And [the fan] said in her 10 seconds, 'What can I do to get your attention?' I was like, 'Um, just take your clothes off.' And she stood there and frantically started taking her clothes off and got dragged out of the room by security. I never felt more terrible.\"
This is exactly why I turned down a role in Twilight. No man should have that much power - especially me.
\"Here's your menu, sir, and my breasts.\"
\"Your black coffee and side of fellatio, sir.\"
\"Two eggs and one 15-waitress-high naked pyramid just the way you like it.\"
(I haven't had breakfast yet.)

Nov 21, 2009#85

The Lovely Boehner

$73m on Friday. not the weekend. just the day. It's gonna beat The Dark Knight's highest opening weekend without fail

Nov 21, 2009#86

Espy

Charlie Dont Surf said:
$73m on Friday. not the weekend. just the day. It's gonna beat The Dark Knight's highest opening weekend without fail

I wouldn't be surprised. The Dark Knight wasn't exactly the movie you and your 8 12 year old girlpals go see 5 times in one weekend.

Nov 21, 2009#87

Calleja

This is not good. Not good at all.

Nov 21, 2009#88

IronBrig4

The girl I'm dating can't stand Twilight either.

Nov 22, 2009#89

North_Ranger

Espy;303561][quote=Charlie Dont Surf said:
$73m on Friday. not the weekend. just the day. It's gonna beat The Dark Knight's highest opening weekend without fail

I wouldn't be surprised. The Dark Knight wasn't exactly the movie you and your 8 12 year old girlpals go see 5 times in one weekend.[/QUOTE]

I just felt sorry for all the cinema clean-up staff who have to take care of the stains on the seats.

That's just wrong...

Nov 22, 2009#90

Cajungal

Nov 22, 2009#91

The Lovely Boehner

Also my hand-wringing was for naught, it ONLY made $140m. Less than Spidey-3 and Dark Knight. Our male nerd shit is superior to female nerd shit finally.

Nov 22, 2009#92

CynicismKills

I decided to go see this because my gf really wanted to for some reason. I know now why we make fun of this series. My God.

Every 30-40 seconds someone mutters something along the lines of "I'd die/hate life/not breathe/ perform fellatio on a werewolf with out you, Bella/Edward/Wolf guy" and sparkly Vampires look like someone went to town with a Bedazzler. I laughed out loud when Cullen walked into the sun and started sparkling. I could feel the cold, steely gaze of teenage girls boring into my neck as I did.

Nov 22, 2009#93

Espy

CynicismKills said:
I decided to go see this because my gf really wanted to for some reason. My God.

You need to re-assess your relationship. It sounds like your gf might hate you or at the very least desire to punish you. SEVERELY.

Nov 22, 2009#94

CynicismKills

Espy;303801][quote=CynicismKills said:
I decided to go see this because my gf really wanted to for some reason. My God.

You need to re-assess your relationship. It sounds like your gf might hate you or at the very least desire to punish you. SEVERELY.[/QUOTE]

Nah, I get to take her to Ninja Assassin next time we see each other. :cool:

Nov 22, 2009#95

Espy

CynicismKills;303802][quote=Espy;303801][quote=CynicismKills said:
I decided to go see this because my gf really wanted to for some reason. My God.

[/QUOTE]

All I know is YOU have to live with the memories you now have. No amount of Ninja Assassins can take those away.

Nov 22, 2009#96

CynicismKills

Espy;303803][quote=CynicismKills;303802][quote=Espy;303801][quote=CynicismKills said:
I decided to go see this because my gf really wanted to for some reason. My God.

[/QUOTE]

All I know is YOU have to live with the memories you now have. No amount of Ninja Assassins can take those away.[/QUOTE]

Honestly that's the best part, the movie is entirely forgettable. I doubt I'll remember it within the next few days. Thankfully she's not a Twilight fan, and mainly wanted to go for completion's sake. Though secretly I am hoping I won't be around the day she goes to see the next one when it's out. Maybe I can be working or something...

Nov 22, 2009#97

IronBrig4

I almost miss the days when teenyboppers would freak out over NSync and the Backstreet Boys. At least they stayed out of the theaters.

I was at a bus stop, talking with one of my buddies about how each famous vampire hunter (Van Helsing, Blade, Seth Gecko) would take out a Twilight vampire. We didn't notice the 13-year-old girls sitting on the other bench. They looked so scandalized lol. Seriously, what's up with teenaged girls and those pussified emo vamps? I think there's PhD dissertation material for psychology majors in that question.

Nov 22, 2009#98

Bowielee

IronBrig4 said:
I almost miss the days when teenyboppers would freak out over NSync and the Backstreet Boys. At least they stayed out of the theaters.

I was at a bus stop, talking with one of my buddies about how each famous vampire hunter (Van Helsing, Blade, Seth Gecko) would take out a Twilight vampire. We didn't notice the 13-year-old girls sitting on the other bench. They looked so scandalized lol. Seriously, what's up with teenaged girls and those pussified emo vamps? I think there's PhD dissertation material for psychology majors in that question.

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=286

Nov 22, 2009#99

Hailey Knight

Spoony's rant/review/summary is glorious and hilarious:

http://www.spoonyexperiment.com/2009/11/22/vlog-11-22-09-new-moon/

Nov 22, 2009#100

IronBrig4

I never saw it the way Spoony does. He's completely right; she's a total clingy bitch.

Nov 23, 2009#101

Gusto

HELLSIIIIIIIIIIING

Nov 23, 2009#102

Iaculus

Alucard versus the Cullens?

... I think my brain just broke. Again.

Nov 23, 2009#103

Steven Soderburgin

Nerds hate misogynistic, poorly written crap? Whoa when did this happen?

Oh wait it's misogynistic poorly written crap that young girls like. Okay.

Frankly, who cares? Let the twilight fans have their thing. My main objections to it are its frightening and harmful portrayals of relationships, but most 14 year old girls will eventually grow up and realize that this is not the way things should be at all, and they'll look back and laugh about how silly their teenage obsessions were, just like everyone else.

Nov 23, 2009#104

Gusto

Kissinger said:
Nerds hate misogynistic, poorly written crap? Whoa when did this happen?

Oh wait it's misogynistic poorly written crap that girls like. Okay.

Where have YOU been? Nerds hate it whenever popular media infringes on their "turf".

Duh.

Nov 23, 2009#105

Espy

Kissinger said:
My main objections to it are its frightening and harmful portrayals of relationships, but most 14 year old girls will eventually grow up and realize that this is not the way things should be at all, and they'll look back and laugh about how silly their teenage obsessions were, just like everyone else.

Every single person I know who is OBSESSED (and I mean that, not "kind of likes this series" but practically lives their life for this series) is a woman in her late 20's through her 40's.
I totally agree with your main objection, in fact, I have no problems with the actual fantasy elements. Who cares? Vampires, werewolves, whatever. It is a very disturbing portrayal of relationships and the people I know who seem to be deeply involved with it are grown women. Maybe it's just fantasy for them, like porn, I don't know. It worries me though that they don't see the disturbing nature of the books. If they were 12? I would agree with you. In fact, my first exposure to the books was an article in the newspaper about the "main" twilight reader demographic. Middle Aged Women.
Sorry man, all your cute, condescending nerd hate for the people here aside, that is a little weird considering the nature of relationships in the books that even you have admitted are concerning.

Nov 23, 2009#106

Steven Soderburgin

Oh yeah, I forgot about the adult women who are reading these books. They are creepy as shit.

Nov 23, 2009#107

Frankie Williamson

I was with two friends the other day. One friend admitted to really liking Twilight. Both me and my other friend basically did the normal guy thing. We ripped into him for it as all guys should. He defends himself by telling us we just don't understand, he and his last girlfriend had the kind of love that Bella and Edward have and if we knew we wouldn't be making fun of him.

My other friend and I basically took turns using this to tell him that he must've had fun stalking her at night, trying not to murder him. Also, knowing each other for two weeks and knowing their love must be eternal must've been pretty fucking awesome too, oh wait, they broke up after like two months. ETERNAL LOVE IS AWESOME.

This friend also hates prime rib, so I don't really know if we can be friends anymore.

Nov 23, 2009#108

Dave

My wife said once she wished I was Garth Brooks. I told her that I could be. All I'd have to do is gain weight, lose all my hair and cheat on her.

Amazing how reality gets in the way of a good crush.

Nov 23, 2009#109

IronBrig4

Kissinger said:
Oh yeah, I forgot about the adult women who are reading these books. They are creepy as shit.

I was able to avoid most of the craze when the original Twilight was released because I was in Korea at the time. Something about that movie just didn't resonate with Korean audiences. But a lot of my Western female coworkers saw it over and over again. I thought they just wanted to see a US film or maybe they thought one of actors was cute. But then my friends Stateside told me about this obsession.

And so many girls at my university are reading those books now. Even one of my female professors camped in front of the theater to see a midnight showing. Are the Twilight books the new harlequin romance novels or something?

Nov 23, 2009#110

Iaculus

IronBrig4 said:
Are the Twilight books the new harlequin romance novels or something?

Minus the sex, yes.

Unless you count book four, where by all accounts Meyer went off the freakin' deep end. Hell-ooo, Croenenbergian birth sequence and ultra-speshul-romantic werewolf paedophilia.

Gods, I wish I was making this up.

Nov 23, 2009#111

The Lovely Boehner

Iaculus;304176][quote=IronBrig4 said:
Are the Twilight books the new harlequin romance novels or something?

Croenenbergian [/QUOTE]

If David Cronenberg directed a Twilight movie, I'd be there opening night

Nov 23, 2009#112

Steven Soderburgin

Charlie Dont Surf;304179][quote=Iaculus;304176][quote=IronBrig4 said:
Are the Twilight books the new harlequin romance novels or something?

Croenenbergian [/QUOTE]

If David Cronenberg directed a Twilight movie, I'd be there opening night[/QUOTE]

ditto

Nov 23, 2009#113

Iaculus

Sparkly Brundlefly?

... I think I'll go gouge out my eyes now. See ya.

Nov 23, 2009#114

figmentPez

IronBrig4 said:
I never saw it the way Spoony does. He's completely right; she's a total clingy bitch.

I was about to laugh a big Nelson Muntz "HA HA!" at teenage guys because they'll have to put up a large portion of their generation's girls idolizing Bella and her manipulative cocktease ways....

Then I realized that the two biggest fans of the novels I know are a late twenty-something (a gorgeous redhead I used to have a crush on) and her mother. Espy has it right, the demographics for these movies/novels are pretty large, and *grargh* it's an awful thought to think of having to deal with women who think this is a model for romantic relationships.

Nov 23, 2009#115

Le Quack

I saw the first one high as fuck. I couldn't stop laughing. It was the best comedy I've seen, EVER. Like, oh my god, I might need to go to the doctor my appendix might have exploded funny. My girlfriend was so pissed she had to appologize to her friends because I was laughing so hard... the ENTIRE MOVIE.

Nov 23, 2009#116

SpecialKO

Kissinger;304191][quote=Charlie Dont Surf;304179][quote=Iaculus;304176][quote=IronBrig4 said:
Are the Twilight books the new harlequin romance novels or something?

Croenenbergian [/QUOTE]

If David Cronenberg directed a Twilight movie, I'd be there opening night[/QUOTE]

ditto[/QUOTE]

This is possibly the greatest idea ever.

To the Batphone! :batman:

Nov 23, 2009#117

figmentPez

Applegeeks #552

Nov 23, 2009#118

Espy

I should start reading that comic.

Nov 23, 2009#119

Soliloquy

You know, I haven't read the books, or seen the movie, but from everything I've heard about them, I think I understand why the series is so popular.

It is emotional porn. Straight up.

Think about it: the idea of showing up to work and having sex with the boss's hot wife for no good reason whatsoever appeals to some people (mostly guys). In the same way, the idea of having powerful, immortal beings go head over heels for you for no good reason appeals to others (mostly girls). The main character being such a horrible, selfish person plays into this fantasy, as she can be as selfish as she wants without consequence, and you can see why that would appeal to a lot of people on a base level.

So really, mocking the plot of Twilight is pretty much the equivalent of mocking the plot of Hot Sexy Beach Girls II: Hot Sexy Harder. You can make as many good points as you want, but in the end, what you have to say has nothing to do with why its popular.

Nov 24, 2009#120

Gusto

Soliloquy said:
So really, mocking the plot of Twilight is pretty much the equivalent of mocking the plot of Hot Sexy Beach Girls II: Hot Sexy Harder. You can make as many good points as you want, but in the end, what you have to say has nothing to do with why its popular.

Except 90% of dudes will admit that the plot in their porno is secondary at best, while many Twilight fans somehow trick themselves into believing it's some kind of literary masterpiece.

Nov 24, 2009#121

Math242

when she can't even fucking write

Nov 24, 2009#122

@Li3n

Soliloquy said:
You know, I haven't read the books, or seen the movie, but from everything I've heard about them, I think I understand why the series is so popular.

It is emotional porn. Straight up.

Think about it: the idea of showing up to work and having sex with the boss's hot wife for no good reason whatsoever appeals to some people (mostly guys). In the same way, the idea of having powerful, immortal beings go head over heels for you for no good reason appeals to others (mostly girls). The main character being such a horrible, selfish person plays into this fantasy, as she can be as selfish as she wants without consequence, and you can see why that would appeal to a lot of people on a base level.

So really, mocking the plot of Twilight is pretty much the equivalent of mocking the plot of Hot Sexy Beach Girls II: Hot Sexy Harder. You can make as many good points as you want, but in the end, what you have to say has nothing to do with why its popular.

I think i remembered the author admitting that it was all based on a wet dream of hers... so yeah.

Nov 24, 2009#123

WolfOfOdin

I'm being forced to go with my GF this weekend, because she writes movie reviews for her campus newspaper, so I have to suffer as well.

What say you folks, should I get piss ass drunk in the theater or deliriously high?

Nov 24, 2009#124

Calleja

If you get TOO high, you'll just end up falling asleep... which may not be bad, considering the alternative.

A few puffs should be enough to make you enjoy the sheer stupidity with the giggles.

Nov 24, 2009#125

The Lovely Boehner

Watching Twilight high was probably one of the funniest movie experiences of my life. I dunno if I could stomach it though in a theater and having to be polite.

Nov 24, 2009#126

Calleja

so you downloaded it?

Nov 24, 2009#127

The Lovely Boehner

Calleja said:
so you downloaded it?

Yes.

Nov 24, 2009#128

Chibibar

My wife is an old fashion vampire follower. She couldn't stand the sparkles and want to beat someone silly with her hardcopy of Dracula.

So lucky me. I didn't have to watch EITHER films.. yay!

Nov 24, 2009#129

Calleja

Charlie Dont Surf;304869][quote=Calleja said:
so you downloaded it?

Yes.[/QUOTE]

to watch while high.

I usually just put The Simpsons on, but you may be on to something.

Nov 25, 2009#130

Fun Size

What's amazing is that you guys are actually making me want to watch Twilight. Problem is that I don't have time to watch good movies, so movies that are so bad they're good fall way back in the queue.

Nov 25, 2009#131

Math242

yeaaaaaah, no not a good idea

Nov 25, 2009#132

HowDroll

Le Quack said:
I saw the first one high as fuck. I couldn't stop laughing. It was the best comedy I've seen, EVER. Like, oh my god, I might need to go to the doctor my appendix might have exploded funny. My girlfriend was so pissed she had to appologize to her friends because I was laughing so hard... the ENTIRE MOVIE.

I was the same way. The second one wasn't nearly as funny. It has its moments, sure, but it doesn't take itself as seriously as the first one.

Nov 27, 2009#133

figmentPez

Marvel Super Heroes: What Th--?!: Twi Harder

Funny, but kinda random.

Nov 29, 2009#134

Soliloquy

Nov 29, 2009#135

SpecialKO

HowDroll;305147][quote=Le Quack said:
I saw the first one high as fuck. I couldn't stop laughing. It was the best comedy I've seen, EVER. Like, oh my god, I might need to go to the doctor my appendix might have exploded funny. My girlfriend was so pissed she had to appologize to her friends because I was laughing so hard... the ENTIRE MOVIE.

Nov 29, 2009#136

ThatGrinningIdiot!

TeKeo;306256][quote=HowDroll;305147][quote=Le Quack said:
I saw the first one high as fuck. I couldn't stop laughing. It was the best comedy I've seen, EVER. Like, oh my god, I might need to go to the doctor my appendix might have exploded funny. My girlfriend was so pissed she had to appologize to her friends because I was laughing so hard... the ENTIRE MOVIE.

Nov 29, 2009#137

SpecialKO

BlackCrossCrusader;306270][quote=TeKeo;306256][quote=HowDroll;305147][quote=Le Quack said:
I saw the first one high as fuck. I couldn't stop laughing. It was the best comedy I've seen, EVER. Like, oh my god, I might need to go to the doctor my appendix might have exploded funny. My girlfriend was so pissed she had to appologize to her friends because I was laughing so hard... the ENTIRE MOVIE.

I was the same way. The second one wasn't nearly as funny. It has its moments, sure, but it doesn't take itself as seriously as the first one.[/QUOTE]

I have never seen Twilight, but I laughed hysterically most of the way through Saw...including the climax.

Does that make me psychopathic?[/QUOTE]

Not in the least.[/QUOTE]

Oh, good, just checking. I will cop to being "that guy" for that audience, but I thought the whole thing was just so darn ridiculous.

Nov 29, 2009#138

Jay

Watched it last night, yes it is as terrible as I thought it would be.

I did enjoy an excellent blowich in return to my sacrifice and then played RE5 for 4 hours in peace afterwards.

There is a God.

Nov 29, 2009#139

Hailey Knight

SeriousJay said:
Watched it last night, yes it is as terrible as I thought it would be.

I did enjoy an excellent blowich in return to my sacrifice and then played RE5 for 4 hours in peace afterwards.

There is a God.

Is blowich a new Halforum term?

Nov 29, 2009#140

Cajungal

^I'd like for it to be. :rofl:

That and "floating off the coast of Acapulco" are 2 of my favorite memes.

Nov 29, 2009#141

Calleja

NOTHING FLOATS WEST OF ACAPULCO, DAMMIT!

Nov 29, 2009#142

drifter

Calleja said:
NOTHING FLOATS WEST OF ACAPULCO, DAMMIT!

:Y: so serious?

Nov 30, 2009#143

Calleja

:angry:

Nov 30, 2009#144

North_Ranger

What the hell is a blowich? All I can think off is a blow-job gotten from a sandwich.

And incidentally, now I'm hungry. For some sammich. And a blowjob would be nice, too.

Nov 30, 2009#145

Jay

Ask Calleja, he's already been blowing steam in this thread and seems to be already good to go.

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