Twilight : New Moon

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Steven Soderburgin

Oh yeah, I forgot about the adult women who are reading these books. They are creepy as shit.
 
I was with two friends the other day. One friend admitted to really liking Twilight. Both me and my other friend basically did the normal guy thing. We ripped into him for it as all guys should. He defends himself by telling us we just don't understand, he and his last girlfriend had the kind of love that Bella and Edward have and if we knew we wouldn't be making fun of him.

My other friend and I basically took turns using this to tell him that he must've had fun stalking her at night, trying not to murder him. Also, knowing each other for two weeks and knowing their love must be eternal must've been pretty fucking awesome too, oh wait, they broke up after like two months. ETERNAL LOVE IS AWESOME.

This friend also hates prime rib, so I don't really know if we can be friends anymore.
 

Dave

Staff member
My wife said once she wished I was Garth Brooks. I told her that I could be. All I'd have to do is gain weight, lose all my hair and cheat on her.

Amazing how reality gets in the way of a good crush.
 
Oh yeah, I forgot about the adult women who are reading these books. They are creepy as shit.
I was able to avoid most of the craze when the original Twilight was released because I was in Korea at the time. Something about that movie just didn't resonate with Korean audiences. But a lot of my Western female coworkers saw it over and over again. I thought they just wanted to see a US film or maybe they thought one of actors was cute. But then my friends Stateside told me about this obsession.

And so many girls at my university are reading those books now. Even one of my female professors camped in front of the theater to see a midnight showing. Are the Twilight books the new harlequin romance novels or something?
 
I

Iaculus

Are the Twilight books the new harlequin romance novels or something?
Minus the sex, yes.

Unless you count book four, where by all accounts Meyer went off the freakin' deep end. Hell-ooo, Croenenbergian birth sequence and ultra-speshul-romantic werewolf paedophilia.

Gods, I wish I was making this up.
 

figmentPez

Staff member
I never saw it the way Spoony does. He's completely right; she's a total clingy bitch.
I was about to laugh a big Nelson Muntz "HA HA!" at teenage guys because they'll have to put up a large portion of their generation's girls idolizing Bella and her manipulative cocktease ways....

Then I realized that the two biggest fans of the novels I know are a late twenty-something (a gorgeous redhead I used to have a crush on) and her mother. Espy has it right, the demographics for these movies/novels are pretty large, and *grargh* it's an awful thought to think of having to deal with women who think this is a model for romantic relationships.
 
L

Le Quack

I saw the first one high as fuck. I couldn't stop laughing. It was the best comedy I've seen, EVER. Like, oh my god, I might need to go to the doctor my appendix might have exploded funny. My girlfriend was so pissed she had to appologize to her friends because I was laughing so hard... the ENTIRE MOVIE.
 
S

Soliloquy

You know, I haven't read the books, or seen the movie, but from everything I've heard about them, I think I understand why the series is so popular.

It is emotional porn. Straight up.

Think about it: the idea of showing up to work and having sex with the boss's hot wife for no good reason whatsoever appeals to some people (mostly guys). In the same way, the idea of having powerful, immortal beings go head over heels for you for no good reason appeals to others (mostly girls). The main character being such a horrible, selfish person plays into this fantasy, as she can be as selfish as she wants without consequence, and you can see why that would appeal to a lot of people on a base level.

So really, mocking the plot of Twilight is pretty much the equivalent of mocking the plot of Hot Sexy Beach Girls II: Hot Sexy Harder. You can make as many good points as you want, but in the end, what you have to say has nothing to do with why its popular.
 
So really, mocking the plot of Twilight is pretty much the equivalent of mocking the plot of Hot Sexy Beach Girls II: Hot Sexy Harder. You can make as many good points as you want, but in the end, what you have to say has nothing to do with why its popular.
Except 90% of dudes will admit that the plot in their porno is secondary at best, while many Twilight fans somehow trick themselves into believing it's some kind of literary masterpiece.
 
You know, I haven't read the books, or seen the movie, but from everything I've heard about them, I think I understand why the series is so popular.

It is emotional porn. Straight up.

Think about it: the idea of showing up to work and having sex with the boss's hot wife for no good reason whatsoever appeals to some people (mostly guys). In the same way, the idea of having powerful, immortal beings go head over heels for you for no good reason appeals to others (mostly girls). The main character being such a horrible, selfish person plays into this fantasy, as she can be as selfish as she wants without consequence, and you can see why that would appeal to a lot of people on a base level.

So really, mocking the plot of Twilight is pretty much the equivalent of mocking the plot of Hot Sexy Beach Girls II: Hot Sexy Harder. You can make as many good points as you want, but in the end, what you have to say has nothing to do with why its popular.
I think i remembered the author admitting that it was all based on a wet dream of hers... so yeah.
 
W

WolfOfOdin

I'm being forced to go with my GF this weekend, because she writes movie reviews for her campus newspaper, so I have to suffer as well.

What say you folks, should I get piss ass drunk in the theater or deliriously high?
 
If you get TOO high, you'll just end up falling asleep... which may not be bad, considering the alternative.

A few puffs should be enough to make you enjoy the sheer stupidity with the giggles.
 
Watching Twilight high was probably one of the funniest movie experiences of my life. I dunno if I could stomach it though in a theater and having to be polite.
 
C

Chibibar

My wife is an old fashion vampire follower. She couldn't stand the sparkles and want to beat someone silly with her hardcopy of Dracula. :)

So lucky me. I didn't have to watch EITHER films.. yay!
 
What's amazing is that you guys are actually making me want to watch Twilight. Problem is that I don't have time to watch good movies, so movies that are so bad they're good fall way back in the queue.
 
I saw the first one high as fuck. I couldn't stop laughing. It was the best comedy I've seen, EVER. Like, oh my god, I might need to go to the doctor my appendix might have exploded funny. My girlfriend was so pissed she had to appologize to her friends because I was laughing so hard... the ENTIRE MOVIE.
I was the same way. The second one wasn't nearly as funny. It has its moments, sure, but it doesn't take itself as seriously as the first one.
 
I saw the first one high as fuck. I couldn't stop laughing. It was the best comedy I've seen, EVER. Like, oh my god, I might need to go to the doctor my appendix might have exploded funny. My girlfriend was so pissed she had to appologize to her friends because I was laughing so hard... the ENTIRE MOVIE.
I was the same way. The second one wasn't nearly as funny. It has its moments, sure, but it doesn't take itself as seriously as the first one.[/QUOTE]


I have never seen Twilight, but I laughed hysterically most of the way through Saw...including the climax.

Does that make me psychopathic?
 
I saw the first one high as fuck. I couldn't stop laughing. It was the best comedy I've seen, EVER. Like, oh my god, I might need to go to the doctor my appendix might have exploded funny. My girlfriend was so pissed she had to appologize to her friends because I was laughing so hard... the ENTIRE MOVIE.
I was the same way. The second one wasn't nearly as funny. It has its moments, sure, but it doesn't take itself as seriously as the first one.[/QUOTE]


I have never seen Twilight, but I laughed hysterically most of the way through Saw...including the climax.

Does that make me psychopathic?[/QUOTE]

Not in the least.
 
I saw the first one high as fuck. I couldn't stop laughing. It was the best comedy I've seen, EVER. Like, oh my god, I might need to go to the doctor my appendix might have exploded funny. My girlfriend was so pissed she had to appologize to her friends because I was laughing so hard... the ENTIRE MOVIE.
I was the same way. The second one wasn't nearly as funny. It has its moments, sure, but it doesn't take itself as seriously as the first one.[/QUOTE]


I have never seen Twilight, but I laughed hysterically most of the way through Saw...including the climax.

Does that make me psychopathic?[/QUOTE]

Not in the least.[/QUOTE]

Oh, good, just checking. I will cop to being "that guy" for that audience, but I thought the whole thing was just so darn ridiculous.
 
Watched it last night, yes it is as terrible as I thought it would be.

I did enjoy an excellent blowich in return to my sacrifice and then played RE5 for 4 hours in peace afterwards.

There is a God.
 
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