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In light of the Marjorie Taylor Greene video in the political forum I was wondering in the (extremely unlikely) event of any HF'er ever getting elected to public office what would you use to swear in on? Just for fun so even if your country doesn't do that, post here anyway.

My pick - A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking.

I'm not religious in any way, so no tomes of religiosity for me

State-level: State Constitution

Federal-level: US Constitution

Silly-level: Small Gods by Terry Pratchett

Silliest-Level: A picture of myself swearing-in

Let me say that I swear on the souls of my grandchildren that I will not be the one to break the oath of office I have made today.

Hopefully, the Stone of Scone.
Possibly FF#112.
Realistically How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Maybe my VHS copy of Empire Strikes Back

bhamv3 said:

Let me say that I swear on the souls of my grandchildren that I will not be the one to break the oath of office I have made today.

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Neither I, nor HalForums, takes any responsibility for any injuries / death that befalls @bhamv3 or any other individual in the event of his grandchildren going on a horror movie style rampage should they become soulless monsters upon his breaking the oath he swore here today.

General Specific said:

I'm not religious in any way, so no tomes of religiosity for me

State-level: State Constitution

Federal-level: US Constitution

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I am not religious, either. I gave some thought to this last night, but didn't come up with any good ideas.
I do strongly believe in the ideals of the constitution, though. So, these are better than any of the ideas I came up with.

Star Wars original trilogy box set, if we're looking for a direct replacement to a religious text. Star Wars is the closest thing I have to a religious mythology.

Otherwise, the Constitution since it's the thing you're swearing to uphold.

Gray's Anatomy - like I did on stage once.

The Necronomicon.

Bofa

The Apple Terms of Service.

HCGLNS said:

Realistically How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

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I thought for you it would be the June 1968 issue of Playboy or something like that.

Dave said:

The Apple Terms of Service.

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How can you swear on something you're never going to read?

I think I would like it best if I were sworn in on a copy of Poor Richard's Almanack.

--Patrick

PatrThom said:

How can you swear on something you're never going to read?

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People swear on the Bible all the time, though

I realise that we aren't looking for actual answers here....however, I take oaths from new employees often and there is an option to swear to God, a different deity or to make a solemn affirmation. Not as formal of course, but the sincerity in which it's made is far more important than on what it's made, isn't it?

And that's signed and witnessed of course.

The Complete Calvin and Hobbes collection box.

Just as thicc as Biden's bible but with more substance.

Just thought of a new answer: A Gutenberg Bible, but refuse to use a glove to touch it. Then watch everyone freak out over what to do before relenting and requesting one of my above options.

Boring answer: the constitution.

Fun answer: the Anarchist's Cookbook

I think it should always be the Constitution, for everyone, because, well ,that's what you're upholding. Don't see why a Bible has to figure into it at all.
That aside, the Assorted Works of the brothers Grimm. If others are allowd to swear on a fairy tale, then so am I.
Or a DVD of Jesus Christ Superstar. Oh! the Last Temptation of Christ!

Bubble181 said:

a DVD of Jesus Christ Superstar. Oh! the Last Temptation of Christ!

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Why not just go straight to Life of Brian?

--Patrick

PatrThom said:

Why not just go straight to Life of Brian?

--Patrick

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But would you swear by the shoe or the gourd?

Sara_2814 said:

But would you swear by the shoe or the gourd?

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Is this a reference? I have never actually seen the movie.

--Patrick

PatrThom said:

Is this a reference? I have never actually seen the movie.

--Patrick

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Watch. Now. And don't come back until you have. No excuses.

A mob declares Brian a saviour and he loses a variety of objects as he flees them. The mob splinters into rival religions based on their new holy relics.

HCGLNS said:

A mob declares Brian a saviour and he loses a variety of objects as he flees them. The mob splinters into rival religions based on their new holy relics.

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Spoilers!

Emrys said:

Spoilers!

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I didn't mention the penultimate supper!

HCGLNS said:

I didn't mention the penultimate supper!

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The one with the Jello and the kangaroo?

DarkAudit said:

Watch. Now. And don't come back until you have. No excuses.

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Can't. Son owns the TV now. Nobody else ever gets to use it.

--Patrick

Emrys said:

The one with the Jello and the kangaroo?

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I didn't see any kangaroos!

More serious answer would probably be a law book or something. Additional fun answer would be a tablet playing "I am the law" from Dredd on a loop.

HCGLNS said:

I didn't see any kangaroos!

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It's right at the back. I'll make it into a disciple.

Ah yes, the disciples. That's a problem.

Are they too Jewish? I made Judas the most Jewish.

No, it's just that there are 28 of them.

Can I have multiple items? They're all kind of faith-y, but each has been/is influential for me in its own way.

Lamb. (The book)
Life of Brian.
And, ya, a Bible in Hebrew and Greek and the English NRSV or NASB.

HCGLNS said:

No, it's just that there are 28 of them.

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Well, then another one won't matter.

Grant Morrison's Multiversity.

My iPad, of course.

(With the Bible by Tecarta app open, of course.)

Emrys said:

Well, then another one won't matter.

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That's not the point.

My first thought is Darwin's The Origin of Species or maybe even The Descent of Man.

PatrThom said:

Can't. Son owns the TV now. Nobody else ever gets to use it.

--Patrick

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What did I say about no excuses? You're a smart dude, make it happen.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

"DIDJA PUT YOUR NAME ONTO THE VOTER BALLOT, DAVID?" Dumbledore asked calmly.

Dirona said:

Can I have multiple items?

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Of course you can. Although how are you planning on organising it? Are you going to try & touch all your items at once as you take the oath or frantically play patty cakes with them or something else entirely?

HCGLNS said:

That's not the point.

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Then I'll lose the kangaroo. To tell you the truth, I wasn't completely happy with it.

Emrys said:

Then I'll lose the kangaroo. To tell you the truth, I wasn't completely happy with it.

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That's not the point, the point is there are 28 of them.

Emrys said:

Then I'll lose the kangaroo. To tell you the truth, I wasn't completely happy with it.

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I dunno, I still maintain a pouch full of Doomweasels can be a really effective surprise weapon troop transport cute picture op.

Without meaning to spoil the fun, anyone confused about what @Emrys and @HCGLNS are going on about, see here

HCGLNS said:

That's not the point, the point is there are 28 of them.

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Too many?

Emrys said:

Too many?

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WELL OF COURSE IT'S TOO MANY!

HCGLNS said:

WELL OF COURSE IT'S TOO MANY!

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Yeah, I know that but I wanted to give the impression of a real Last Supper, you know, not just any old Last Supper. Not like a Last Meal or a Final Snack. But, you know, I wanted to give the impression of a real... mother of a blow-out, you know?

I don't believe in swearing. It's a bad fucking habit.

Fun Size said:

Bofa

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Testify!

--Patrick

Celt Z said:

I don't believe in swearing. It's a bad fucking habit.

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One of my favorite quotes (might be Oscar Wilde, but I can’t find proof) is: “Profanity is for ineloquent fuckers.”