work threesome

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U

Unregistered

a woman at my work wants to have a threesome with me and my wife/girlfriend. i want it as well but dont know if i should bring it up at all with the wife/girlfriend. theres a chance that it could go well but if it didnt it would implode my life. i can think of bad and good things that could come of it but i work with this woman and that might get weird. i work in a different area and hardly ever see each other during a normal day but we do see each other.

ive never had a threesome and i have no idea whether the hassle would be worth it. i know as a guy ive always fantasized about it but i also know the reality is never as good. what if my wife/girlfriend likes it a little too much? what if jealousy raises its ugly head? what do you all think? if you do think i should go for it how do you think i should handle it? just so you know the other girl is very good looking. probably more so than my wife/girlfriend.

i like the way you guys think and want to know what you think.
 
C

Chibibar

If you think your wife/girlfriend is not interested, more than likely she is not going to like it. I would assume you know her a whole lot better than us :) As for threesome? It is a lot of work on you unless your wife is bi-curious and willing to experiment (it can be interesting) but that is a road I wouldn't suggest traveling unless SHE brought it up first (that is just my take)
 
Piotyr

Piotyr

Why do you refer to your significant other as your wife/girlfriend? It's a pretty clear distinction.
 
C

Chibibar

Piotyr said:
Why do you refer to your significant other as your wife/girlfriend? It's a pretty clear distinction.
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I think the person did it to "cover" their ID from people figuring who on the forum (could be a forum person)
 
Piotyr

Piotyr

Chibibar;458899][QUOTE=Piotyr said:
Why do you refer to your significant other as your wife/girlfriend? It's a pretty clear distinction.
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I think the person did it to "cover" their ID from people figuring who on the forum (could be a forum person)[/QUOTE]

Which is fine, but it's a pretty important distinction.

I'm not big on "open" relationships, especially when you're legally committed to another. It's just another form of cheating.

Also, think of it this way, if your significant other suggested a threesome with another guy, how would you respond?
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
In my opinion, it's never a good idea. Even if things seem to go well during the act, it will plant the seeds of the destruction of your current relationship. That, and the risk that even broaching the subject could jeopardize the relationship make it just a bad idea overall. Unless you don't care if you lose your current mate.
 
U

Unregistered

guarded id is why writing like this. lets just say serious relationship. she has never expressed interest but does watch lesbian porn. suspect her and a past female roommate had a fling based on letters they sent each other.
 
C

Chibibar

Piotyr;458900][QUOTE=Chibibar;458899][QUOTE=Piotyr said:
Why do you refer to your significant other as your wife/girlfriend? It's a pretty clear distinction.
Click to expand...
I think the person did it to "cover" their ID from people figuring who on the forum (could be a forum person)[/QUOTE]

Which is fine, but it's a pretty important distinction.

I'm not big on "open" relationships, especially when you're legally committed to another. It's just another form of cheating.

Also, think of it this way, if your significant other suggested a threesome with another guy, how would you respond?[/QUOTE]

me personally? I wouldn't mind as much. There are time I felt bad cause I was her first. I have dated before and she hasn't really date other men before me. Our relationship is very solid and we talk about stuff, but if it ever become a reality, I wouldn't be surprise if it s a man or a woman. :)

BUT.....
It is not to say it cause problem in other relationship. It all depends on individual couples. I know a swinger couple who are together and love each other for over 20 years and still date other people. It is open relationship but also open communication.

I have to admit there are times I may consider a threesome, but in reality I don't think I would personally do it. Why? It is a lot of emotional investment and such. I barely can keep up with one relationship ( a great one) much less work on two or three. I always wonder how some people manage it (swingers) or have multiple lives (you read them in the news) must be exhausting.
 
Jay

Jay

Before I will answer you, I'll need to know.

Do you plan to marry this woman? Or seriously consider to?
 
U

Unregistered

Different unregistered from OP

Don't bring it up with your GF nothing good can possibly come from it. If she even wanted to have a threesome it isn't going to be with your coworker somebody you see everyday especially not if your coworker approached you about it. That's just creepy as hell. Maybe if you bring up your fantasy with her she can get one of her friends in on it or more hopefully just get a whore to sidestep the whole how do you even bring that up to somebody else.

And threesomes aren't all that amazing. The girls will take to long fucking each other and freaking out anytime you come over to join in the fun and will yell at you when you try to "take care of yourself." Then of course you get to the meat of the issue actually taking the plunge your first instinct will be to sample the new dish but of course that is the time when your GF's starts getting incredibly upset and instead of her joining in she'll just kinda watch with a slowly growing look of absolute disgust on her face. You could of course do your GF first but in the end you're going to get into the exact same situation with her just shutting down sexually. I had one 8 years ago my GF still yells at me about it when she gets angry.
 
J

Jiarn

I'm going to tell you now. From experience. From two failed relationships that failed for this very reason.

It is not worth it. Nothing you'd get out of this would even come close to outweighing ANY of the issues that can come from it. Even if your sig other was 100% for it at the time, it will never "go away" if it ever becomes a negative.

If I could scream this to you at the top of my lungs I would. Do not, back away, forget it and move on.

Only exception to this rule is if you have no future with the sig other and plan on ending it at some point. Then by all means.

(I'm well aware there are exceptions to the rule, however the percentages do not lie.)
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
I will come out & let you all know that a work friend of mine is the OP. He is married but I do NOT know how long he's been married or how his marriage is.

The girl in question is very good looking and nice and they flirt constantly. He is not a forumite but as his IP will probably match mine I'm calling him out a little. I can tell you about both individuals. And they DO see each other a lot at work. Hell, they work the same accounts sometimes!
 
Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Trust your gut on this, and then say no anyway. If you want to spend the rest of your life with this girl, just say no.

Open relationships can work, but they're very tricky. I disagree with the person who called it cheating, there is no cheat if it's all known and consensual. However, such a relationship requires absolute trust, cleary defined boundaries, and 100% transparency.

In short, that you're asking means you're unsure, which means you should say no, lest you compromise your personal and work relationships.

But if it's just a casual thing, and you are willing to take that risk, then go for it, and then tell us about it.
 
J

Jiarn

Yeah that's exactly how mine started. First ex was open to the idea, then shit hit the fan afterwards.

My second ex was actually the pursuer, but it still hit the fan when I agreed.

Not. Worth. It.
 
Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

Just say it off-hand, either as a joke, or link the situation to someone else, "some guy at work" or "someone on this forum online". Then gauge her response.
 
D

Dubyamn

Dave said:
I will come out & let you all know that a work friend of mine is the OP. He is married but I do NOT know how long he's been married or how his marriage is.

The girl in question is very good looking and nice and they flirt constantly. He is not a forumite but as his IP will probably match mine I'm calling him out a little. I can tell you about both individuals. And they DO see each other a lot at work. Hell, they work the same accounts sometimes!
Click to expand...
Well this bolded part secures it in my mind. This is an absolutely terrible idea. Life destroyingly stupid idea. In fact I would start cutting off the work flirting she is taking it way way too seriously and it will bite you in the ass if you don't nip this in the bud.
 
Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

In light of the new information, I will are with the others. Unless you want a divorce and a lost job, just say no.
 
C

Chibibar

Now....... if these two people work close together.. then no. I say it is a BAD BAD idea.

What if all party consent (wife/husband says ok) but the new "member" doesn't think it work out and break it off? then things could get complicated AT work :(

If it was different department and hardly see each other.. maybe, same account? I don't know.

Of course rare exception. My wife and I work in the same department (IT) but with different bosses. We get along great while many of my co-worker wouldn't want to see and work with their wives 24/7
 
Espy

Espy

I gotta go with the general jist here: A few possible moments of pleasure isn't worth the risk of the destruction of what you have if you value it.
 
J

Jiarn

Not even moments. I had 4yrs of consistant threesomes, and I'd trade them all back to get the chance to be back with my ex for the rest of my life.
 
E

Element 117

Just cheat on your wife. bang the girl, at work, and record it, show the mrs and hand her an alimony check. Hey I'm just coming up with the same type of idea here.
 
J

Jiarn

Tinwhistler;458958][QUOTE=GasBandit said:
In my opinion, it's never a good idea. Even if things seem to go well during the act, it will plant the seeds of the destruction of your current relationship. That, and the risk that even broaching the subject could jeopardize the relationship make it just a bad idea overall. Unless you don't care if you lose your current mate.
Click to expand...
This has not been my personal experience.

:eyebrows:[/QUOTE]

And you'd be the minority by a long shot.
 
C

Chibibar

Jiarn;458987][QUOTE=Tinwhistler;458958][QUOTE=GasBandit said:
In my opinion, it's never a good idea. Even if things seem to go well during the act, it will plant the seeds of the destruction of your current relationship. That, and the risk that even broaching the subject could jeopardize the relationship make it just a bad idea overall. Unless you don't care if you lose your current mate.
Click to expand...
This has not been my personal experience.

:eyebrows:[/QUOTE]

And you'd be the minority by a long shot.[/QUOTE]

Heh. Like I said, it all depends on the relationship you have with your significant other (Sig) I also wouldn't consider cheating as long your Sig knows ALL about it and consent.
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
I just spoke to him and he understands. He wanted to hear more, "Go for it!!" I think. In the end he'll do what he wants butI can see this imploding on him. I'm just glad I haven't met his wife.
 
AshburnerX

AshburnerX

Dave said:
I just spoke to him and he understands. He wanted to hear more, "Go for it!!" I think. In the end he'll do what he wants butI can see this imploding on him. I'm just glad I haven't met his wife.
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I can only imagine his reaction...

"What!? A bunch of strangers on the internet, giving INTELLIGENT ADVICE?! That's not what I wanted to hear! CURSE DAVE AND HIS FORUM FULL OF DIVERSE PEOPLE!"
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
While I must admit personal interest in said sexual configuration, the more reasonable part of me would tell you to use your head and not your John Thomas when deciding upon this. Unless your significant other is sexually adventurous, I would tell you to say 'no'. Random offers of threesomes turn awesome only in a Playboy universe.

Also, don't get your honey where you get your money.
 
M

makare

Does this woman know your wife or is she just using this as an excuse to get with you? That could be awkward during sexy time.
 
strawman

strawman

Drop it. Ignore her. Tell her you're not interested, and stick to work discussion.

If you don't believe us, make a pro/con list. On one side, list all the things you'll get out of the fling. On the other, list all the bad things that may occur, and their likelihood of happening.

I suspect you already know the answer, though...
 
Espy

Espy

In case you need help with that list (for the record all are listed as "potential" since any and all pros and cons are just that, potential, no guarantees):

Con:_______________ Pro:
Fired________________ Orgasm
Lawsuit
Divorced
Alimony
Child Support
Broken Heart
Ruined Friendships
Lose half your stuff
Miss out on years of happiness with your spouse
Herpes
Mega-Herpes *
Optimus-Herpes**



*May or may not exist.
**Totally exists.
 
Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

Or it could turn out like on Friends where Ross consents to a threesome with his wife and her friend, and then she discovers she's a lesbian and divorces him.
 
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