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http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120921191

And I thought some of my dates could be awkward. Seriously though, he's not too bright but I kinda feel sorry for him.

HA HA HA HA!

That is some pretty intense failure.

I love his conclusion on the moral of this story:

All of this could have ****ing been prevented if I had just brought my goddamn pee bottles!!!

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Think we got another Darwin popping up in the near future.

P... pee bottles?

Silver Jelly said:

P... pee bottles?

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Mandatory on first dates. Didn't you get the memo?

But... But he uses pee bottles all the time... H...what? I still don't get it.

That is seriously funny. Poor guy.

Wtf is a pee bottle?

makare1 said:

That is seriously funny. Poor guy.

Wtf is a pee bottle?

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My guess? Empty bottles to fill in some mysterious way.

makare1 said:

That is seriously funny. Poor guy.

Wtf is a pee bottle?

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A bottle. That you pee in.

I get the concept but why have them?

Why? Why would anybody need pee bottles on a regular basis?

IronBrig4 said:

Why? Why would anybody need pee bottles on a regular basis?

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You didn't get the moral of this story, did you?

Silver Jelly;349466][QUOTE=IronBrig4 said:

Why? Why would anybody need pee bottles on a regular basis?

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You didn't get the moral of this story, did you?[/QUOTE]

Being female is WAAAAY easier?

...

What. A. Dumbass.

Because they're too cool for diapers, obviously.

IronBrig4 said:

Why? Why would anybody need pee bottles on a regular basis?

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It's a body-building forum. The minds of 'roid-junkies are not for we puny mortals to understand.

It's....not that hard to pee and poop at the same time. If I have to poop, I sit down because even if I need to pee, I'll just do it at the same time.

I'm shocked that the most basic of human functions using the most common method we all share (the toilet) is actually something a grown man would have issues using. It's akin to not knowing how to fucking dress yourself or how to eat or drink. It's....madness.

He should have just told her what he was doing like this.

OMFG!!!!!!!!! hahahaha i think i will laugh till next week .......god push ur penis in the toilet and take a shit and pee at the same time .......Isn't this what most men do? His dick couldn't have been so big he couldn't fit in the toilet while shitting..........I swear that that my friends is the funniest shit I've ever read...........I'm going to share that shit with all my friends lol.

Good times hehehe !:laugh: if I was the chick i would have been rolling around on the floor.......And who cares if he was taking a shower bizarre yes but for her to feel that threatened dear lord ! I won't get over that one for a long time hehe.

darkangel6988 said:

Good times hehehe !:laugh: if I was the chick i would have been rolling around on the floor.......And who cares if he was taking a shower bizarre yes but for her to feel that threatened dear lord ! I won't get over that one for a long time hehe.

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I bet the guy had been acting kinda weird. He probably kept mumbling, looking around nervously, about how he shouldnt have left his pee bottles home.

I don't even know what to say ...

Frankie said:

I'm shocked that the most basic of human functions using the most common method we all share (the toilet) is actually something a grown man would have issues using. It's akin to not knowing how to fucking dress yourself or how to eat or drink. It's....madness.

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Madness?! THIS IS...

Oh, sorry. I guess that's kind of passé.

Anyways, double-you tee eff. I... Just wow.

I had to read it to my mom and even she almost peed.......I'm still laughing my ass off at this poor dude.......I still think chick could have been more understanding.......i would have just laughed at him and made him clean it all up!

This can't be real.

Cajungal said:

This can't be real.

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I know right lol...........omg im gonna die just thinking about it all lol !

If it IS true, I feel so sorry for this guy. What a disgusting and humiliating situation.

I get ASPECTS of this. I mean, I don't ENJOY using a public restroom, and I don't ENJOY stinking up someone else's bathroom (well...unless I don't like them) but this guy just made things WAY too complicated. I don't actually think this can be real. There's no way someone just can't manage having an erection, needing to pee and poop all at the same time.

And the last time I ever knew anyone with a pee bottle was in high school. Early high school at that.

Cajungal said:

If it IS true, I feel so sorry for this guy. What a disgusting and humiliating situation.

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I feel bad I guess a lil bit........BUT COME ON !!!!!!!!!!!!!! this shit doesn't ever happen lol it's impossible!

IronBrig4 said:

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120921191

And I thought some of my dates could be awkward. Seriously though, he's not too bright but I kinda feel sorry for him.

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A friend of mine showed me this a while back. Learning to piss sitting down with an erection is something every man learns at like at 4, even before we get boners. Piss bottle? Wtf?

---------- Post added at 07:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:47 PM ----------

makare1;349467][QUOTE=Silver Jelly;349466][QUOTE=IronBrig4 said:

Why? Why would anybody need pee bottles on a regular basis?

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You didn't get the moral of this story, did you?[/QUOTE]

Being female is WAAAAY easier?[/QUOTE]

Normal men don't use any sort of pee bottle. I've never even heard of this concept.

It's stories like this that make me hug my straight female friends and thank them for not being lesbian.

Well, it's not easy resisting those wonderful vaginas. We appreciate your appreciation.

The guy actually types out "brah". :suspicious:

whats wrong with saying brah, breh?

Chazwozel said:

whats wrong with saying brah, breh?

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Saying it? Okay, I guess. Typing it? Odd.

MindDetective;349529][QUOTE=Chazwozel said:

whats wrong with saying brah, breh?

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Saying it? Okay, I guess. Typing it? Odd.[/QUOTE]

Sup,

Now that I can handle.

MindDetective said:

Now that I can handle.

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Can you? I have heard otherwise ...

Rob King;349533][QUOTE=MindDetective said:

Now that I can handle.

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Can you? I have heard otherwise ...[/QUOTE]

Hey, I got it off eventually!

... Why didn't he just put himself with each foot to one side of the toilet, looking towards the tank, half standing up half squatting so that he could point his boner downwards and gravity would plop the crap into the toilet? It's not rocket science.

Denbrought said:

... Why didn't he just put himself with each foot to one side of the toilet, looking towards the tank, half standing up half squatting so that he could point his boner downwards and gravity would plop the crap into the toilet? It's not rocket science.

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He should have just pissed on the damn floor and then mopped it up with toilet paper. It still baffles me how a grown man could do this.

He shouldn't have reached that point to begin with. I understand maybe not wanting to use public bathrooms, but if you are incompetent enough that getting caught taking a dump and a piss in a girl's shower is something that can happen, you should probably get over that and save yourself a whole heap of trouble.

Or, bring a piss bottle. Whatever. I'm not going to date the idiot.

Chazwozel said:

Normal men don't use any sort of pee bottle. I've never even heard of this concept.

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Indeed. I've never had to use a pee bottle and would only use one in case of an emergency. This one time I got stuck in my dorm's elevator. It took them about 20 minutes to get it going again. I had to take a leak. I wasn't in dire need of a piss (my legs weren't numb or anything like that) but I still felt the urge to go. I had an empty water bottle in my backpack that would have served as a pee bottle. But then the elevator finally got fixed and the potential emergency passed.

IronBrig4;349609][QUOTE=Chazwozel said:

Normal men don't use any sort of pee bottle. I've never even heard of this concept.

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Indeed. I've never had to use a pee bottle and would only use one in case of an emergency. This one time I got stuck in my dorm's elevator. It took them about 20 minutes to get it going again. I had to take a leak. I wasn't in dire need of a piss (my legs weren't numb or anything like that) but I still felt the urge to go. I had an empty water bottle in my backpack that would have served as a pee bottle. But then the elevator finally got fixed and the potential emergency passed.[/QUOTE]


Emergency pissing in a bottle is a completely different case. This guy made it sound like he gets boners all the time and therefore needs a piss bottle on his person at all times, which is just ...weird...

Chazwozel said:

Emergency pissing in a bottle is a completely different case. This guy made it sound like he gets boners all the time and therefore needs a piss bottle on his person at all times, which is just ...weird...

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What I gathered is that he has some sort of phobia of public restrooms, and so carries a bottle to piss in, rather than risk going in there.

Which ... you know ... totally makes sense.

But I can't be the only one who takes monster pisses that wouldn't fit into a reasonably sized bottle, am I? The one time I used a bottle in an emergency, I had to cut myself off near the end of the stream and find a second bottle ...

It's not even for the boners though. I mean, this guy can't even get the concept of pointing his dick down to pee (or just thinking about baseball for a minute) so I'm not about to assume he can do something as complicated as hold a bottle upside down, piss in it, and then dispose of it without peeing all over himself. He just has made a regular habit of peeing into bottles because...... well that's where I'm lost. Maybe the idea of a public restroom is too much for him, but going behind a bush and peeing into a bottle and then carrying a bottle full of pee with him is perfectly acceptable.

It's a urinal! It's our god given right as men to piss standing up! It's what separates us from the animals (women). I'll be damn if I let this injustice slide!

I JUST HAD THOUGHT..........How on earth did he have a boner while being that scared.........When a man is frightened by something there is no way they can keep their hard on this has to be fake ! I've thought about it all night really and discussed it with my husband and we both agree there is no way humanly possible at a chick's house that all that could happen unless your a complete moron!

Another thing I don't get is this phrase he used........

*******If you've been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn't recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze********

How is it he records encounters with females? That alone is enough to creep a chick out lol.

Goodnight ! that's all i have on this topic before bed .

Sounds like he's either a huge liar or a guy with a LOT of problems that are best solved by a cognitive behavioral therapist and possibly meds.

If a guy has to piss really bad, an erection can happen.

darkangel6988 said:

I JUST HAD THOUGHT..........How on earth did he have a boner while being that scared.........When a man is frightened by something there is no way they can keep their hard on this has to be fake ! I've thought about it all night really and discussed it with my husband and we both agree there is no way humanly possible at a chick's house that all that could happen unless your a complete moron!

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No not at all. Boners for the most part will stay up so long as you are thinking about them. Doesn't matter if you're scared, stressed, being yelled at by your boss so long as you keep on thinking about it it'll stay hard.

He did say that he has a social anxiety disorder.

Dubyamn;349653][QUOTE=darkangel6988 said:

I JUST HAD THOUGHT..........How on earth did he have a boner while being that scared.........When a man is frightened by something there is no way they can keep their hard on this has to be fake ! I've thought about it all night really and discussed it with my husband and we both agree there is no way humanly possible at a chick's house that all that could happen unless your a complete moron!

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No not at all. Boners for the most part will stay up so long as you are thinking about them. Doesn't matter if you're scared, stressed, being yelled at by your boss so long as you keep on thinking about it it'll stay hard.[/QUOTE]

Unless, of course, you're TRYING to keep an erection. That's when even thinking about it will make it go away.

This guy is obviously an idot. I love where he calls the girl a bitch when he's the one crapping and pissing all over her bathroom.

Dubyamn said:

No not at all. Boners for the most part will stay up so long as you are thinking about them. Doesn't matter if you're scared, stressed, being yelled at by your boss so long as you keep on thinking about it it'll stay hard.

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This is why I call BS on this story. Every guy on earth has had at least a handful (/rimshot) of situations where he had to...think down an inopportune moment. By the time you're in college, particularly in the circumstances he found himself...it shouldn't be that hard.

Silver Jelly said:

But... But he uses pee bottles all the time... H...what? I still don't get it.

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Way of the road Jells, Way of the road..

A full bladder can lead to an erection even when the guy isn't aroused, I thought? Isn't that the reason for morning wood?

Seriously? I only skimmed through it and what he did was fucking stupid, but I do understand his predicament. The real solution was probably peeing on the floor. If he had a strong erection and his penis points upwards during those, he couldn't just point it down, he had to put his upper body almost horizontal for the pee to go into the toilet. Depending on the size of his dick, the shit would probably fall partially on the rim of the toilet.

What I mean is that it may really be that difficult to pee and poo at the same time.


On the pee bottles... WTF?

Sounds like a pretty excrement date to me!

I am baffled. Unless he has like 15+ in penis or something, there is no reason he couldn't sit down poo and pissed at the same time.

That's one massive tool right there. Sweet jesus.... and why the fuck is he telling other people this.... AND making images?

ThatNickGuy said:

Sounds like a pretty excrement date to me!

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That was a shitty answer.

Green_Lantern;349701][QUOTE=ThatNickGuy said:

Sounds like a pretty excrement date to me!

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That was a shitty answer.[/QUOTE]

Sorry, I hope it didn't piss you off.

---------- Post added at 09:14 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:11 AM ----------

Chibibar said:

I am baffled. Unless he has like 15+ in penis or something, there is no reason he couldn't sit down poo and pissed at the same time.

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Not to get graphic, but it's damn hard to sit down on the toilet with a boner. It's the equivilent of trying to sit down comfortably with an comically oversized pen in your pocket. At best, you (either uncomfortably or painfully) tuck it underneath the seat, in which case, pissing just means you're pissing between the seat and the toilet rim.

Chibibar said:

I am baffled. Unless he has like 15+ in penis or something, there is no reason he couldn't sit down poo and pissed at the same time.

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This is exactly what my husband and I were discussing.......He must have had a King Kong Ding Dong in order to not be able to pee and shit at the same time.......And i'm sure this isn't the first time he's had a boner and had to piss and shit at the same time but I guess his pee bottles helped out at other times.

Another reason I find this whole story hard to believe is the reaction of the girl and the knife pulling .....Seriously I'm a chick and if i had anyone of you men over and this mess happened I would certainly laugh at you and maybe not date yall after that but I wouldn't threaten to call the cops and pull out a knife even if you said we were gonna have sex.........That whole paragraph just throws me off! There is now ay at all that a chick would go to that extent unless she is screwed up too. I mean we are all humans we all piss and we all shit .........You think a lil understanding could have happened here?! Accidents happen and embarassment happens. I just personally would never go to the extreme she went especially if someone was that scared and embarassed that they shit in my tub. They would clean it all though thoroughly with disinfectant spray and wipes lol ! Maybe twice haha!

Grab a towel, sit on the toilet and put the towel over your junk. Yes, the towel will get wet & dirty, but the alternative is what "happened".

If you read through the responses this guy was probably lying and a troll poster. But a damned good one.

Not nearly as good as the guy on Fark who got his testicles caught in the slats of his chair.

Dave said:

Grab a towel, sit on the toilet and put the towel over your junk. Yes, the towel will get wet & dirty, but the alternative is what \"happened\".

If you read through the responses this guy was probably lying and a troll poster. But a damned good one.

Not nearly as good as the guy on Fark who got his testicles caught in the slats of his chair.

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Oh i want to hear that one lol ......I think we should start a thread and all share our most embarassing moments together. It could be real funny ! Just saying

You can read it if you like. I included the link. :laugh:

Dave said:

You can read it if you like. I included the link. :laugh:

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MAN! some men just can't put proper use to their penis......No comment after that cuz I'm stunned out the stupidity of some men with their junk ! If your balls fit in the slot you can get them out and do they hang that low that they get stuck in a chair? COME ON !!!!!!!!!!!! lol ! Find a chick and get laid and use that junk the way its supposed to be used. I'm just saying!

Or put your dick in a box that way its forever safe there until you intend on using it for a more productive scenario lol !

---------- Post added at 09:26 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:25 AM ----------

Chazwozel;349531][QUOTE=MindDetective;349529][QUOTE=Chazwozel said:

whats wrong with saying brah, breh?

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Saying it? Okay, I guess. Typing it? Odd.[/QUOTE]

Sup, [/QUOTE]

And that's a really ugly bra.......Just saying ....I know it was used in reference to Brah but still ew ! Surely that didn't come from Victoria Secret !

darkangel6988 said:

MAN! some men just can't put proper use to their penis......

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Sit down, pick up the trash can...

or the old stand by. Think of Bea Aurthur naked.

ThatNickGuy;349714][QUOTE=darkangel6988 said:

MAN! some men just can't put proper use to their penis......

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[/QUOTE]

HAHAHAH! nice lol

Dave said:

Grab a towel, sit on the toilet and put the towel over your junk. Yes, the towel will get wet & dirty, but the alternative is what \"happened\".

If you read through the responses this guy was probably lying and a troll poster. But a damned good one.

Not nearly as good as the guy on Fark who got his testicles caught in the slats of his chair.

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AUGH.... every time I hear that story I get "phantom balls" and they start to hurt.

So you were a man in a past life, baby! Yeah!

That explains her boobs. Only a guy would want to be that well endowed in their next life.

*ducks!* Kidding, Cee-Gee! KIDDING!

MindDetective said:

The guy actually types out "brah". :suspicious:

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I know--I almost couldn't get past that. The MS Paint drawings were....very expressive.

sixpackshaker said:

Sit down, pick up the trash can...

or the old stand by. Think of Bea Aurthur naked.

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Wait, I thought he wanted to lose his erection?

Baerdog7;349760][QUOTE=sixpackshaker said:

Sit down, pick up the trash can...

or the old stand by. Think of Bea Aurthur naked.

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Wait, I thought he wanted to lose his erection?[/QUOTE]

No, that would be think of Betty White naked.

Oooh, right right. Carry on.

sixpackshaker said:

Sit down, pick up the trash can...

or the old stand by. Think of Bea Aurthur naked.

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Doesn't work if you're Deadpool.

Walter Brennan nekkid?

Iaculus;349776][QUOTE=sixpackshaker said:

Sit down, pick up the trash can...

or the old stand by. Think of Bea Aurthur naked.

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Doesn't work if you're Deadpool.[/QUOTE]

I don't think Deadpool has a fear of public restrooms. Or the inability to piss and shit at the same time.