Dear Younger Bones, or as you are called at the moment, Leaf the Dark Ninja of Love. The man you aspire to be, this character you have built called Leaf, This man of power and justice, a righteous soldier of some sort. This man is a good baseline, but remember that being cool is overrated, don't fall in love and don't be fooled by its allure. You will achieve your goals despite the crushing feeling that your death lies just ahead every day. You will become better than Leaf, you will become Bones, the real you, the you worth being, some advice on growing up, The one year stint with that long distance relationship is going to haunt you, BELIEVE ME I KNOW! The man you become who is me, when everything falls away is a broken neurotic mess. That is to say when all your so called friends show their true colors and put their daggers in your back and laugh as you lay on the ground bleeding out, try not to let it define your existence like it has for me. People are assholes and are transient in how they perceive you so don't become attached. You are alone, I hope this changes for both of us, but right now it seems you were not wrong to feel like you do not belong in this world, I wish I had good news, but even now 10 years later I still feel like I shouldn't be here...pretty sure now that we are afflicted with the family curse of mental illness and these feelings are a product of that, really sorry. The current nickname is a joke that took on a life of its own, You will think its dumb but roll with it, the people that call you by your true name who are not mom and dad will not be the kind of people you want to be friends with. Try to always keep moving forward and trying new things, I want you to be defined by the things you learn and try, not the people you hang out with, they are almost all jerks. The only real advice I have for you is that being an outcast everywhere you go is not going away, try to embrace that you are unique and that you will never be classifiable. Have as much fun as you can and just keep plugging away at your school and work. You are awesome and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, people will be hardest on you because they will expect the most of you this is a good thing but don't let what others say to you eat at you. This fact has taken me years to come to terms with, even now I feel depressed, but I know it is just a feeling. I believe in you, seriously, you are a good kid and while you took awhile to get going its okay, just do your best.