My 3 favorite points to argue into the ground for fun
1) Real men drink scotch and do it in a study that the kids/wife isn't allowed in, sitting in a large leather chair by the fireplace in a robe, reading the days wall street journal while murmuring about the instability of North African securities.
2) Top shelf vodka does make sense if you drink martinis, in which case your best choices are Kettle One, Pearl, or Hangar One. Martini's should be drank in a social setting involving both men and women, however, when the men retire to the study to discuss important world issues it is appropriate to switch to scotch.
3) Wine is not alcohol, it is part of a global conspiracy of the omega males and women to introduce estrogen into the stronger men in society. Wine should be immediately recognized as a threat to masculinity, and men promoting it's imbibement should be publicly identified as agents of the feminista underground.