A
Anonymous
Anonymous
Feel free to ignore this. I'm just ranting... and I'm doing this anonymously as a precaution (though I'm sure no one I'm ranting about will be "smart enough" to ever find this rant). (Anyway, this is Ling. ~<3)
Now, I'm a generally happy person and I tend to shrug a lot of things off and move on if it's not something worth arguing about, but today I'm furious. I have a friend, or someone who I considered a friend for a long time, who owes me a lot of money. And it's frustrating to see him being stupid and destructive, as well as see him shut everyone out of his life for a second time.
The "short" version of this story is this... T (man) was in an mentally/semi-physically abusive relationship with B (woman). After a couple kids and a few years later, T was finally out of the relationship. Everyone he shut out of his life during this relationship was there to help pick up the pieces. He admitted how depressed he was, he was surprised how many people still cared after the way he treated everyone, and we were all happy to have the old, HAPPY T back in our lives.
After moving on, B put T in jail the day before a court date (regarding the children), stating that T broke his restraining order (T is a very nice man, this restraining order was placed by B for no reason except to cause more drama and make him out to be a dangerous man). He was put in jail and being held for no reason, without anyone investigating.
Backstory on the arrest:
Well, T's family helped A LOT with paying for a lawyer and other issues, so they were tapped out. My roommates are T's brother J and his wife/my BFF, S. J doesn't like asking for money, but he contacted me and asked if myself and M would be able to help chip in, and the family would see if we could pool enough to bail T out.
I said I could do the full amount, as long as I'd be paid back, as this money was coming out of The Wedding Fund. No problem, done deal. The family was grateful. We've all been friends for a long time (M has known this family since grade school). A couple months pass, I don't mind waiting as we're happy to have T in our lives again, and we love seeing him truly happy for the first time in years. I heard from J, his mother, and S a few times that I'd get paid as soon as T was able, but he had other people to pay back first. I was okay with this, no problem. Everything was going GREAT.
Out of no where, just 2 days ago, J receives a text, "Now, don't be mad, but..." J and B are back together. Instantly, he's shutting everyone out. Much like "Guilty until proven innocent," he assumes everyone hates B and that the two of them are together (well, that's not far from the truth), and he won't talk to anyone. He tells everyone he doesn't want negativity in their lives, that no one wants to hear what he has to say (everyone's asked, but that's the only response we receive "no one wants to hear my side"), and that he doesn't need anyone in his life who is going to judge him.
It's true that it's "none of our business," but given B's destructive nature and their ENTIRE past, and that we've all helped him out of his hole the past couple months, that very much DOES make it our business.
So, given the circumstances, I've asked him for my $2000 back. What does he tell me? That I'm "LOW ON HIS LIST" of people to pay back and I just have to wait until he has the money to pay me back. AND that he'd appreciate if I didn't talk to him AT ALL until then. Tell me I'm being unreasonable. I don't think I am being unreasonable. I waited patiently and only heard second-hand that I'd get my money back. I helped him when he needed it. I never demanded my money. Now that T is back with the person who put him in jail in the first place, I believe I have every right to have that bail money returned to me ASAP.
Instead of giving me a real response, I'm being ignored. If I were a bank, he'd be in big trouble. I should now play the part of a bank and tack on interest and follow up every few days. It wouldn't be harassment, either.
I'm extremely frustrated. And the biggest problem is that my anger leads to crying. Not because I'm sad, but anger = tears in my case. Now M's furious at T too, and he's tried his best to stay out of everything, but he's now also unable to sit back and keep quiet.
So, that's been my last 3 days. :-/
Now, I'm a generally happy person and I tend to shrug a lot of things off and move on if it's not something worth arguing about, but today I'm furious. I have a friend, or someone who I considered a friend for a long time, who owes me a lot of money. And it's frustrating to see him being stupid and destructive, as well as see him shut everyone out of his life for a second time.
The "short" version of this story is this... T (man) was in an mentally/semi-physically abusive relationship with B (woman). After a couple kids and a few years later, T was finally out of the relationship. Everyone he shut out of his life during this relationship was there to help pick up the pieces. He admitted how depressed he was, he was surprised how many people still cared after the way he treated everyone, and we were all happy to have the old, HAPPY T back in our lives.
After moving on, B put T in jail the day before a court date (regarding the children), stating that T broke his restraining order (T is a very nice man, this restraining order was placed by B for no reason except to cause more drama and make him out to be a dangerous man). He was put in jail and being held for no reason, without anyone investigating.
Backstory on the arrest:
B was once in an abusive relationship and had to call for help. That was years ago, and they gave her a calling card as a "just in case" and they'll be there to help out, no questions asked. Well, it's clear she abused this number. T was picked up from work, they put him in jail, in the WRONG county, and held him on $2000 bail. Everything about the arrest was shady.
I said I could do the full amount, as long as I'd be paid back, as this money was coming out of The Wedding Fund. No problem, done deal. The family was grateful. We've all been friends for a long time (M has known this family since grade school). A couple months pass, I don't mind waiting as we're happy to have T in our lives again, and we love seeing him truly happy for the first time in years. I heard from J, his mother, and S a few times that I'd get paid as soon as T was able, but he had other people to pay back first. I was okay with this, no problem. Everything was going GREAT.
Out of no where, just 2 days ago, J receives a text, "Now, don't be mad, but..." J and B are back together. Instantly, he's shutting everyone out. Much like "Guilty until proven innocent," he assumes everyone hates B and that the two of them are together (well, that's not far from the truth), and he won't talk to anyone. He tells everyone he doesn't want negativity in their lives, that no one wants to hear what he has to say (everyone's asked, but that's the only response we receive "no one wants to hear my side"), and that he doesn't need anyone in his life who is going to judge him.
It's true that it's "none of our business," but given B's destructive nature and their ENTIRE past, and that we've all helped him out of his hole the past couple months, that very much DOES make it our business.
So, given the circumstances, I've asked him for my $2000 back. What does he tell me? That I'm "LOW ON HIS LIST" of people to pay back and I just have to wait until he has the money to pay me back. AND that he'd appreciate if I didn't talk to him AT ALL until then. Tell me I'm being unreasonable. I don't think I am being unreasonable. I waited patiently and only heard second-hand that I'd get my money back. I helped him when he needed it. I never demanded my money. Now that T is back with the person who put him in jail in the first place, I believe I have every right to have that bail money returned to me ASAP.
Instead of giving me a real response, I'm being ignored. If I were a bank, he'd be in big trouble. I should now play the part of a bank and tack on interest and follow up every few days. It wouldn't be harassment, either.
I'm extremely frustrated. And the biggest problem is that my anger leads to crying. Not because I'm sad, but anger = tears in my case. Now M's furious at T too, and he's tried his best to stay out of everything, but he's now also unable to sit back and keep quiet.
So, that's been my last 3 days. :-/
