[Thread Game] Terrible Video Game Descriptions (MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS)

[Bones]

Bingo.

Next up!

• Brothers get brainwashed.
• Have to hunt down your brothers.
• Take parts of your brothers with you to use against your other brothers.
• Chase down the person who did this to your brothers.
• Let the motherfucker that made you kill your brothers live.

MEGA MAN!

 

[figmentPez]

-Kill bowties
-Avoid impalement
-Try not to get a seizure
-No teapots anywhere
-Spin!

Oh, I think I know this one... Tempest?

 

[PatrThom]

Oh, I think I know this one... Tempest?

Heh. Yep!

--Patrick

 

[Jax]

- Play an angel and build stuff.
- Play a statue brought to life and kill stuff.
- Rinse and repeat.

 

[Terrik]

No guesses on mine yet? You are all gaming failures.

 

[figmentPez]

- Play an angel and build stuff.
- Play a statue brought to life and kill stuff.
- Rinse and repeat.

Actraiser.

 

[LittleKagsin]

No guesses on mine yet? You are all gaming failures.

That super old Atari game? I'm not even sure what it's called. I thought it was Red Tank vs. Blue Tank...but I don't think that's right.

 

[PatrThom]

That super old Atari game? I'm not even sure what it's called. I thought it was Red Tank vs. Blue Tank...but I don't think that's right.

Doesn't explain the countdown, though.

--Patrick

 

[LittleKagsin]

Yeah!! That one!

Is it that one Terrik?

 

[Chad Sexington]

Bingo bango!


Arkham City??[DOUBLEPOST=1358039416][/DOUBLEPOST]This one is a bit more obscure.

• Spread like wildfire.
• FUCK YOU MADAGASCAR.
• UGH.

Plague Inc. Gotta be. Except for me it's usually Greenland.

 

[Terrik]

Yeah!! That one!

Is it that one Terrik?

 

[LittleKagsin]

Nope, I was wrong.

I did try though.

 

[David]

-poke dragons with a stick
-win a trophy

 

[Ravenpoe]

- Fight against terrorists
- Fly around in a helicopter
- Join the terrorists
- Fly around in a helicopter
- Get captured by the people who were fighting the terrorists, and by extension you
- Escape, fly around in a helicopter
- Uncover global conspiracy
- Fly around in a helicopter
- Save world

Deus Ex.

 

[BananaHands]

-poke dragons with a stick
-win a trophy

Joust??[DOUBLEPOST=1358101371][/DOUBLEPOST]

• Be manly as shit.
• Revived by a man with a speech impediment.
• BULK UP.
• TURN INTO A BITCHIN' WEREWOLF.
• NOW YOU'RE A FUCKIN DRAGON
• OH GODDAMN BEAR TIME.
• SHIT YEAH TIGER.
• WELCOME TO YOUR DOOOOOOOM.

 

[Frank]

That's not really a terrible description, that's almost every word you could describe Altered Beast with without using the words Altered Beast.

 

[BananaHands]

That's not really a terrible description, that's almost every word you could describe Altered Beast with without using the words Altered Beast.

Sorry, I just got really pumped.

 

[David]

Joust??

Nope, but close to the same time period.

 

[figmentPez]

-poke dragons with a stick
-win a trophy

Adventure?

Oh, wait, that's "poke ducks with an arrow"

 

[Cheesy1]

• Be manly as shit.
• Revived by a man with a speech impediment.
• BULK UP.
• TURN INTO A BITCHIN' WEREWOLF.
• NOW YOU'RE A FUCKIN DRAGON
• OH GODDAMN BEAR TIME.
• SHIT YEAH TIGER.
• WELCOME TO YOUR DOOOOOOOM.

Altered Beast

 

[BananaHands]

• Be annoying.
• Go to the future.
• Whine a lot.
• Fight whale.
• Bang holy lady.
• Kill whale.
• Explode into lights.

 

[Frank]

Final Fantasy 10.

 

[BananaHands]

• Crash.
• Creepy house.
• Bunch of puzzles.
• Almost a sandwich.
• Boss is a dick.
• Self-destruct.

 

[Bumble the Boy Wonder]

Resident evil. I lol'd

 

[Frank]

Maniac Mansion.

Oh shit, yeah, Resident Evil is a much better answer. Good one Bumble.

 

[BananaHands]

Resident evil. I lol'd

Correct!

• Be a Bounty Hunter
• Kill a fucking dragon.
• Destroy a planet.

 

[David]

Adventure?

You got it!


-Arrive in new land
-Dig a hole
-Survive in and defend hole

 

[Gusto]

Correct!

• Be a Bounty Hunter
• Kill a fucking dragon.
• Destroy a planet.

Metroid?[DOUBLEPOST=1358116632][/DOUBLEPOST]

You got it!


-Arrive in new land
-Dig a hole
-Survive in and defend hole

The first night of Minecraft?

 

[David]

I was actually thinking of Dwarf Fortress but realized after I posted it's a perfect description of Minecraft, so I will accept that as well.

 

[Ravenpoe]

• Fall in a hole
• Try to get out
• Fuck this shit
• Lose will to ever play again.
• They deserve to be buried

 

[BananaHands]

Metroid?

Yes!

• Be a repair man.
• get called to fix blackout
• Wanna see gf.
• AHHHGG FUCK WHAT THE FUCK
• OH MY GOD JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
• :IOFHAfso;hfgasogih
• See gf
• AAAGGGHGHHH
• oidaghasodgihsg
• ARG SHIT SHIT SHIT
• never saw gf
• AHHHH AHHH WHAT THE FUCK
• rock got me trippin'
• OMG OMG OMG.
• phew. that was fun
• AHHHH.

 

[Cheesy1]

• Fall in a hole
• Try to get out
• Fuck this shit
• Lose will to ever play again.
• They deserve to be buried

E.T. for Atari

 

[Ravenpoe]

E.T. for Atari

Ding ding.

 

[General Specific]

Yes!

• Be a repair man.
• get called to fix blackout
• Wanna see gf.
• AHHHGG FUCK WHAT THE FUCK
• OH MY GOD JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
• :IOFHAfso;hfgasogih
• See gf
• AAAGGGHGHHH
• oidaghasodgihsg
• ARG SHIT SHIT SHIT
• never saw gf
• AHHHH AHHH WHAT THE FUCK
• rock got me trippin'
• OMG OMG OMG.
• phew. that was fun
• AHHHH.

Dead Space

 

[BananaHands]

Dead Space

Bingo. Little easier on this one:

• Giant robot in Alaska.