[Thread Game] Terrible Video Game Descriptions (MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS)
- Thread starter BananaHands
- Start date
Inspired by my post in another thread:
-Our misunderstood hero escapes, then alternately skitters and rampages toward his destiny. If only he could reach it.
-Along the way, Our Hero is guided by Lex Luthor and helped by a subway ghost and The Catwoman. Yes, really.
-Kenny dies. You bastards!
-Good/Bad, it's all up to you! Choose wisely, or you may die a soap opera death.
--Patrick
-Our misunderstood hero escapes, then alternately skitters and rampages toward his destiny. If only he could reach it.
-Along the way, Our Hero is guided by Lex Luthor and helped by a subway ghost and The Catwoman. Yes, really.
-Kenny dies. You bastards!
-Good/Bad, it's all up to you! Choose wisely, or you may die a soap opera death.
--Patrick
GasBandit
Staff member
Nope!
Bionic Commando!
figmentPez
Staff member
Prototype?
Much better guess, but still incorrect. You'll need to go back a little further for this one. It pre-dates DX9.
--Patrick
This one might be a toughie. Give it some good, strong thinking before you answer.
- Snake?
- Snake, answer me.
- Snake?
- SNAKE?
- SNAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!
figmentPez
Staff member
YES! That's the one. (and that's the first of 85 videos worth of walkthrough, so grab a drink)
I debated leaving the phrase "subway ghost" in there, because Vincent Schiavelli was pretty much the only clue with a 1:1 ratio (ie, Google "subway ghost" and basically you get him), but otherwise I thought it would be too hard. Here's the clue breakdown:
Luther is cursed with shapeshifting abilities, he will randomly (and often inconveniently) become a giant beast (higher attack) or tiny lizard (better magic) in order to access other areas of the game (which is subtitled, "Guardians of Destiny"). He is always saying, "Too far," or "If only I could reach that," when you try to pick something up that's just out of reach.
The dragon-like guy is the Draracle (Dragon Oracle), and is voiced by Clancy Brown, who has also voiced Lex Luthor (as well as being the Kurgan in the original Highlander movie, but that would've been another 1:1 clue). Vincent is the director of a monastary where you learn how to use a power orb. Much later, he visits the home of Kit'yara (who is played by Julie Newmar). Yes, they had Catwoman play a cat woman. One of the guards that follows him after he escapes is named Kenneth. He dies and you later meet Kenneth's girlfriend, and when you do you throw up a little in your mouth.
There are many endings to the game, but one of them involves getting killed by a character who is acted by someone that was also on Guiding Light.
And when I said the game predates DX9, I meant it. It even predates DOS 6.22!
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It's not one of the Metal Gear games, is it?
(I haven't played any of them yet)
--Patrick
It was indeed Metal Gear. It wasn't honestly meant to be a serious entry for this, since I can't think of anything good.
Digital Devil Saga?
A WINNER IS YOU!
I was seriously wondering if anyone would get it. I would be sad if no one else played that fantastic game.
I haven't, but I bought it for my wife and she played an hour or two before getting distracted and never touching it. If a handheld version comes out for the Vita, I intend to get that, but I can't do the kind of grinding needed for a SMT game while hogging the TV.
I still lived at home when I got DDS. There were many arguments to be had over the TV.
Thankfully, hubby (then boyfriend) had his own TV so I just brought my memory card and stuff down there. My parents thought it was indecent for meto bspend so much time in his bed room, to much opportunity for 'naughtiness'.
They severely underestimated how much I like SMT games.
GasBandit
Staff member
I freakin loved Snake, Rattle and Roll.
figmentPez
Staff member
It was a really fun game... for like the first 8 levels, but the last few were so insanely difficult. I couldn't even beat the final boss using a Game Genie to cheat.
GasBandit
Staff member
It took me SO many tries. YEARS. I finally beat it ONCE, not even cheating, and could never do it again. But yeah, it ramps up difficulty at the end to ridiculous levels that today wouldn't be countenanced. But back then, a game's difficulty was often considered a mark of its quality too.
figmentPez
Staff member
King's Quest 3?
GasBandit
Staff member
That could be Maniac Mansion OR Day of the Tentacle.
Day of the Tentacle?
Damn,Ninja'd.
Damn,Ninja'd.
Either are acceptable, especially since the full title of it is "Maniac Mansion 2: Day of the Tentacle"
Good job. I figured going into the classics, somebody would get it, but I thought it'd be appreciated to post just how common "wtf are they mixing?" was back then.
How about this: Genesis Torpedoes, Ferrengi, and Debbi Does Rigel in the theatre!
Apparently too hard. How about this: you Trade. A lot. "Online" as well.
BananaHands
Staff member
- ugh, typical plot of this series
- wait.
- what.
- what the hell!?
- stop crying dude
- oh you're just a doll!
- YOU!? Fine. Join up, dick.
- Hey damsel, slap some dudes.
- in the end, fix a road.
