The I Don't Care if You Just Had Sex Thread

[dill616]

If General Specific went 11yrs you can go a few months Wasabi

I went 26 years. Someone give me a god damn medal! Or some gummy bears! Or gummy bears that look like a medal of non-sex having achievement. Never mind, I'm going to go get some gummy bears.

 

[Dave]

You're getting married. Give it a few years and you'll start the drought over again.

 

[dill616]

You're getting married. Give it a few years and you'll start the drought over again.

Our honeymoon phase is what killed the first thread!

Edit: I don't know if you'd call it a drought as much as chosen celibacy.

 

[Gilgamesh]

I think it goes something along the lines of what Christopher Titus said, and I'm paraphrasing since I can't find the exact quote:

Are you not having as much sex as when you first got together? Are you within 5% of the body fat you had when you met? If not, there might be your problem.

Now I'm very sure this doesn't go for everyone, but strikes a cord with alot.

 

[dill616]

I think it goes something along the lines of what Christopher Titus said, and I'm paraphrasing since I can't find the exact quote:



Now I'm very sure this doesn't go for everyone, but strikes a cord with alot.

Just watched this and shook my head.

 

[fade]

I think it goes something along the lines of what Christopher Titus said, and I'm paraphrasing since I can't find the exact quote:



Now I'm very sure this doesn't go for everyone, but strikes a cord with alot.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html

 

[dill616]

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html

My creative writing teachers should REALLY have used these methods of explanation.

 

[Gilgamesh]

Just watched this and shook my head.

Why? Most -guy- guys are exactly like that. Women still date/sleep/marry them. Their own damn fault.

 

[dill616]

Why? Most -guy- guys are exactly like that. Women still date/sleep/marry them. Their own damn fault.

No, I totally get it. That's why I was shaking my head. I made a sport out of avoiding relationships because of guys such as this. The women who go after guy guys are idiots who should have more self respect even if it means staying a perma virgin.

 

[WasabiPoptart]

You're getting married. Give it a few years and you'll start the drought over again.

Poor Dave.

Just remember, dill616 , every marriage and relationship is different. And they go through phases. I've been married for almost 9 years and well - the only times we've hit a "drought" is when we have been physically separated.

 

[dill616]

Let us also not forget the ancient female secret to combat douchbagery; the friendzone.

 

[figmentPez]

Let us also not forget the ancient female secret to combat douchbagery; the friendzone.

Which reminds me of a joke I heard the other day:

Q: How many friend-zoned guys does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, all they ever do is compliment the bulb and then get pissed that it won't screw.

 

[Gilgamesh]

Let us also not forget the ancient female secret to combat douchbagery; have sex with them, ignore the kind guys, freak out when the douchebag cheats on them, forgives them at least 3 times, then dates a new one.

Again, I'm well aware that's not all women, but that's alot more accurate from what I've seen friends and family members do.

 

[GasBandit]

Which reminds me of a joke I heard the other day:

Q: How many friend-zoned guys does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, all they ever do is compliment the bulb and then get pissed that it won't screw.

That's... pretty unsettling if you reapply that metaphor in reverse. As in, stop whining, sieze "the bulb" and just start screwing. Sounds like something Insanity Wolf might recommend.

 

[dill616]

Again, I'm well aware that's not all women, but that's a lot more accurate from what I've seen friends and family members do.

Don't put words in my mouth, please! I do not friendzone and never have. I've seen my friends do it and advised them against it. It's just cruel to play with someone like that.

 

[Officer_Charon]

Yes, it is.

 

[Gilgamesh]

Don't put words in my mouth, please! I do not friendzone and never have. I've seen my friends do it and advised them against it. It's just cruel to play with someone like that.

Which is why I made the disclaimer below that. My words didn't apply to you as much as your own didn't.

 

[dill616]

Which is why I made the disclaimer below that. My words didn't apply to you as much as your own didn't.

Both men and women can be jerks. You know what this means, right?

Spoiler

 

[Gilgamesh]

Both men and women can be jerks. You know what this means, right?

Yep, just in different ways.

 

[dill616]

Yep, just in different ways.

View attachment 10227

Nu-uh!

 

[Bumble the Boy Wonder]

Why are we not talking about how little we care about the sex other people are having?

 

[Gilgamesh]

Nu-uh!

Again, I'm talking majority and not exception. Just look at the ratings on Jersey Shore or the sales of 50 Shades of Grey. The world speaks volumes of itself.

 

[dill616]

Why are we not talking about how little we care about the sex other people are having?

Yeah, well- uhhhh, I'm going to go home in a few minutes, make enchiladas, watch Sherlock, and have sex with the General! So there!

 

[Bumble the Boy Wonder]

Yeah, well- uhhhh, I'm going to go home in a few minutes, make enchiladas, watch Sherlock, and have sex with the General! So there!

Pffft, LIKE I CARE[DOUBLEPOST=1360618121][/DOUBLEPOST](p.s. - thank you)

 

[dill616]

Pffft, LIKE I CARE

I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH SEX YOU'RE HAVING/NOT HAVING SOOOOO MUCH THAT I'M GOING TO HAVE LOTS OF SEX AND NOT EVEN FEEL SUPERIOR!

Orgasms! Orgasms as far as the eye can see!

 

[Bumble the Boy Wonder]

I SEE YOUR MASS QUANTITES OF SEX, AND RAISE YOU COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF INTERCOURSE. WE'LL SEE HOW MUCH NO ONE CARES NOW[DOUBLEPOST=1360618318][/DOUBLEPOST]

 

[fade]

Psht. I'm married with two kids. I don't even know what sex is anymore.

 

[Gilgamesh]

Psht. I'm married with two kids. I don't even know what sex is anymore.

What do kids have to do with it? Well then again depends mostly on their age, but we usually waited till they were asleep when they were toddlers to teens.

 

[fade]

Kids have everything to do with it. When you're both worn out from years of non-stop childcare, sex can be the last thing on your mind.

 

[Gilgamesh]

Kids have everything to do with it. When you're both worn out from years of non-stop childcare, sex can be the last thing on your mind.

We raised 3, didn't really stop our sex life. I'm generally curious because I hear that complaint alot. The only thing that slowed our sex life was when work got heavy on both our ends. That's a complaint I can relate to. Made up for it on the days off though.

 

[CrimsonSoul]

I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH SEX YOU'RE HAVING/NOT HAVING SOOOOO MUCH THAT I'M GOING TO HAVE LOTS OF SEX AND NOT EVEN FEEL SUPERIOR!

Orgasms! Orgasms as far as the eye can see!

Female orgasms are a myth!

 

[Charlie Don't Surf]

holy shit there's more misogyny than usual in this thread

 

[ncts_dodge_man]

Sex isn't going to be happening between me and my wife for several weeks - she slipped on some ice over the weekend and strained ligaments in her hand and messed up her back and tailbone (tailbone so badly that it moved on her - didn't help she has some degenerating cartilage in that area).

 

[WasabiPoptart]

Psht. I'm married with two kids. I don't even know what sex is anymore.

Married with 2 kids here, too. Never stopped us. Deployment and illness are the only things that have and even illness is not a guaranteed no.

 

[Terrik]

I'm half a world away for another week. Even I can't reach that far.