I am dying of this minor illness so write me a eulogy

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Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

Alone in my apartment, with nothing but Archer to keep me company.

Come and eulogise me, so that I might read them and become a horrible egoist, or broken man before I pass into the great unknown.
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
Chad died alone and in his apartment. After not too long he got ants. Because that's how you get ants.
 
Fun Size

Fun Size

Here lies Chad, he sexed a ton.
His days were short and now they're done.
His use of a Scotch barrel coffin forgive.
He wanted to go the way that he lived.
 
Tinwhistler

Tinwhistler

Dearly bereaved, I wish to speak to you of a man. A man filled with such inner light that the loss of him leaves the world a little darker. A great man, who touched many lives; even those who knew him only briefly came away enriched. A selfless man that always thought of others above himself, and who dedicated his every waking moment to making the world a better place. He was the type of man that was loved by all, and will surely be missed. A man whose many contributions to the arts and sciences will live on as a legacy to his dedication and selflessness.

Instead, let us speak about Chad.
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

Loved Ones Recall Local Man's Cowardly Battle With Cancer Booze
"Most people, when they find out they've got something terrible like this, dig deep down inside and tap into some tremendous well of courage and strength they never knew they had," said Judith Kunkel, Russ' Chad's wife of 11 years. "Not Russ Chad. The moment he found out he had cancer booze, he curled up into a fetal ball with a bottle and sobbed uncontrollably for three straight weeks."
Click to expand...
--Patrick
 
bhamv3

bhamv3

Here lies Chad Sexington.​
​
We're pretty sure he's dead, so ignore any banging sounds that might be coming from the grave.​
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
We all knew what a eulogy was, we were all just too lazy to write more than a sentence plus a fragment.
 
Fun Size

Fun Size

No, it's poetry about a martyr. He gave his life that we may know, for once and for all, what happens when you get a tranfusion replacing all of the blood in the body with distilled spirits.

Made for a damned fine-looking corpse actually. Very well preserved.
 
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