Man do I feel relieved, there was like 10 beers missing from one of the coolers yesterday and it turned out my dad took them and forget to mention it. Was afraid it was teenagers, and I do NOT want to be that guy who locks up his beer case like a weirdo OR bring them inside cos my house has less room than a tea party ran by a rabbit and a hat maker.
This reminds me of a time when my friend started locking up his pop because his brothers would go into his room and steal it. He bought a big lockbox and kept it in his bedroom walk-in closet. He also kept both keys for this lockbox on the same keychain (hint: don't.).
I was over at his house, and I decided I wanted some pop, so he tossed me his keys and I went to the lockbox, and I got pop for me and few other friends who'd requested some as well. I also took both keys off the chain, pocketing one and slipping one to a third friend. I threw back the keychain, which was so laden with other keys that LockFriend didn't check (plus I have a such an honest face!) and pocketed them. Also I think he was distracted trying to crush a fourth friend at Smash Bros (foolish, really: Friend 4 is undefeatable). So myself and Partner-in-Crime flee the house that evening with both keys.
The next day, we create a ransom note, cut from magazine and newspaper, complete with photos of both keys being held hostage by my Collector's Edition statue of a Big Daddy from BioShock. Within one week our friend had to deliver $100 000 000 in Monopoly money or dire consequences would be faced. Frustrated, but unbending, we were informed that he does not 'negotiate with terrorists'. We filed one of the keys in half, tucked it in some tissue with red food dye (for effect) and mailed him the 'severed' key. There was still one key left, but the ransom had gone up: the hundred million
and a video of him reciting the Better Nate than Lever joke.
It all came to a head when he delivered a USB key which allegedly had the video on it. He promised us the money was coming. The USB key, when placed into a computer, autoran a program which activated a password-locked screensaver every half second.
Clever bastard.
It was my partner who was the victim of this act of vengeance. I of course destroyed the other key, and our insolent friend ended up destroying his own lockbox to get at...
Two cans of coke.
Anyway, if you lock your beer up, split up the keys, is the point I'm trying to make here.