[Thread Game] Terrible Video Game Descriptions (MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS)

Okay look, I know I'm not exactly a paragon of virtue, what with my chosen line of work, but ripping out my eye is a bit much, don't you think?
 
After I made my first appearance as a villain in my rival's second game on Gameboy, I became the "hero" in this sequel.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Scorched Earth.

Oh god the nostalgia. Firing up the Death's Head and nuking every other player on the map.
Invariably the biggest cluster-fucks (pun intended) in that game always came when my tank said "I wonder what THIS button does?"
 
We couldn't think of any new enemies for this non Mario Bros related sequel, so we just threw in a bunch from Mario Bros 3.
 
In this game, given the choice between hitting someone with a lightsaber and hitting them with a baseball bat, players will choose the baseball bat nine times out of ten.
 
In this game, given the choice between hitting someone with a lightsaber and hitting them with a baseball bat, players will choose the baseball bat nine times out of ten.
Smash Bros[DOUBLEPOST=1379998607,1379998260][/DOUBLEPOST]You're a robber. Don't let the cop get you until you navigate the complicated warehouse. Course... you won't really know those details unless you saw the cover of the game.
 
Smash Bros[DOUBLEPOST=1379998607,1379998260][/DOUBLEPOST]You're a robber. Don't let the cop get you until you navigate the complicated warehouse. Course... you won't really know those details unless you saw the cover of the game.
Wait, are you talking about the Atari game Maze Craze?
 
It's the warehouse which makes me think Maze Craze.

You got it. I was always very interested in playing that game, completely based on the cover. I mean the game was fun too. It was essentially just trying to navigate a maze before the second player was able to catch you. But just the thought of it being a cops and robbers game made it 10 x more enjoyable.
 
Oh boy, gotta come up with one! I played the hell out of that game and probably still would if I hadn't given away my Atari years ago.

Four kings in four corners protected by their castles, though a destructive weapon is set loose which can destroy them. You are a knight who protects one of these castles with your shield. Protect your king until he is the last left standing.
 
Oh boy, gotta come up with one! I played the hell out of that game and probably still would if I hadn't given away my Atari years ago.

Four kings in four corners protected by their castles, though a destructive weapon is set loose which can destroy them. You are a knight who protects one of these castles with your shield. Protect your king until he is the last left standing.
Warlords!

--Patrick
 
In this simulator you don't get your Sims until they are dead.[DOUBLEPOST=1380133938,1380133890][/DOUBLEPOST]
Animal Crossing?
Oh man it was that heaven and hell sim game in hell you could make strip clubs n shit. I always wanted to play that game but never did... Now to google the name

Afterlife!
 
Oh man it was that heaven and hell sim game in hell you could make strip clubs n shit. I always wanted to play that game but never did... Now to google the name

Afterlife!
I quite enjoyed it, but like most sims I was never really that great at it. It was complicated because not only did you have to please everyone in Heaven, you had to do the exact opposite of everything to torment people in hell. For example in Heaven you want their virtues to all be very close so they don't have to walk too far from the front gates. In hell you want them to travel really far, so you have to build long complicated roads to everything.
 
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