Twilight

Naiwen

Naiwen

This series is by Stephenie Meyer, I wish to discuss it with you guys. First question, do you dislike or like Twilight (do you think it's the greatest series ever or do you think it's crap?)? And why? I dislike it because I think it's boring and it's not really great literature. But some people I know think it's the greatest series ever.
 
Dei

Dei

This thread probably belongs in Media Madness. (I was nice and didn't say where I was actually thinking this topic belongs. ;) )
 
Gilgamesh

Gilgamesh

Without Twilight we may not have some of the best Riftrax every conceived right now. That nearly makes up for its existence.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Twilight is toxic.

20 unfortunate lessons Twilight teaches impressionable girls:

  1. If a boy is aloof, stand-offish, ignores you or is just plain rude, it is because he is secretly in love with you — and you are the point of his existence.
  2. Secrets are good — especially life-threatening ones.
  3. It’s OK for a potential romantic interest to be dimwitted, violent and vengeful — as long as he has great abs.
  4. If a boy tells you to stay away from him because he is dangerous and may even kill you, he must be the love of your life. You should stay with him since he will keep you safe forever.
  5. If a boy leaves you, especially suddenly (while telling you he will never see you again), it is because he loves you so much he will suffer just to keep you safe.
  6. When a boy leaves you, going into shock, losing all your friends and enduring night terrors are completely acceptable occurrences — as long as you keep your grades up.
  7. It is extremely romantic to put yourself in dangerous situations in order to see your ex-boyfriend again. It’s even more romantic to remember the sound of his voice when he yelled at you.
  8. Boys who leave you always come back.
  9. Because they come back, you should hold out, waiting for them for months, even when completely acceptable and less-abusive alternative males present themselves.
  10. Even though you have no intention of dating an alternative male who expresses interest in you, it is fine to string the young man along for months. Also, you should use him to fix things for you. Maybe he’ll even buy you something.
  11. You should use said male to fix things because girls are incapable of anything mechanical or technical.
  12. Lying to your parents is fine. Lying to your parents while you run away to save your suicidal boyfriend is an extremely good idea that shows your strength and maturity. Also, it is what you must do.
  13. Car theft in the service of love is acceptable.
  14. If the boy you are in love with causes you (even indirectly) to be so badly beaten you end up in the hospital, you should tell the doctors and your family that you “fell down the steps” because you are such a silly, clumsy girl. That false explanation always works well for abused women.
  15. Men can be changed for the better if you sacrifice everything you are and devote yourself to their need for change.
  16. Young women should make no effort to improve their social skills or emotional state. Instead, they should seek out potential mates that share their morose deficiencies and emotional illnesses.
  17. Girls shouldn’t always read a book series just because everyone else has.
  18. When writing a book series, it’s acceptable to lift seminal source material and bastardize it with tired, overwrought teenage angst.
  19. When making or watching a major feature film, you should gleefully embrace the 20 minutes of plot it provides in between extended segments of vacant-eyed silence and self-indulgent, moaning banter.
  20. Vampires — once among the great villains of literature and motion pictures — are no longer scary. In fact, they’re every bit as whiny, self-absorbed and impotent as any human being.
 
Cajungal

Cajungal

Staff member
Gilgamesh said:
Without Twilight we may not have some of the best Riftrax every conceived right now. That nearly makes up for its existence.
Click to expand...
True. Those are awesome. From what I have actually read it's a terrible book, and it made for dull-ass movies. I love the blog "Reasoning with Vampires."
 
phil

phil

I saw the first movie with a lady friend once. When the vampire doctor dad came out and looked like he had been hit in the face with a flour sack I lol'd.
 
Squidleybits

Squidleybits

GasBandit said:
Twilight is toxic.

20 unfortunate lessons Twilight teaches impressionable girls:

  1. If a boy is aloof, stand-offish, ignores you or is just plain rude, it is because he is secretly in love with you — and you are the point of his existence.
  2. Secrets are good — especially life-threatening ones.
  3. It’s OK for a potential romantic interest to be dimwitted, violent and vengeful — as long as he has great abs.
  4. If a boy tells you to stay away from him because he is dangerous and may even kill you, he must be the love of your life. You should stay with him since he will keep you safe forever.
  5. If a boy leaves you, especially suddenly (while telling you he will never see you again), it is because he loves you so much he will suffer just to keep you safe.
  6. When a boy leaves you, going into shock, losing all your friends and enduring night terrors are completely acceptable occurrences — as long as you keep your grades up.
  7. It is extremely romantic to put yourself in dangerous situations in order to see your ex-boyfriend again. It’s even more romantic to remember the sound of his voice when he yelled at you.
  8. Boys who leave you always come back.
  9. Because they come back, you should hold out, waiting for them for months, even when completely acceptable and less-abusive alternative males present themselves.
  10. Even though you have no intention of dating an alternative male who expresses interest in you, it is fine to string the young man along for months. Also, you should use him to fix things for you. Maybe he’ll even buy you something.
  11. You should use said male to fix things because girls are incapable of anything mechanical or technical.
  12. Lying to your parents is fine. Lying to your parents while you run away to save your suicidal boyfriend is an extremely good idea that shows your strength and maturity. Also, it is what you must do.
  13. Car theft in the service of love is acceptable.
  14. If the boy you are in love with causes you (even indirectly) to be so badly beaten you end up in the hospital, you should tell the doctors and your family that you “fell down the steps” because you are such a silly, clumsy girl. That false explanation always works well for abused women.
  15. Men can be changed for the better if you sacrifice everything you are and devote yourself to their need for change.
  16. Young women should make no effort to improve their social skills or emotional state. Instead, they should seek out potential mates that share their morose deficiencies and emotional illnesses.
  17. Girls shouldn’t always read a book series just because everyone else has.
  18. When writing a book series, it’s acceptable to lift seminal source material and bastardize it with tired, overwrought teenage angst.
  19. When making or watching a major feature film, you should gleefully embrace the 20 minutes of plot it provides in between extended segments of vacant-eyed silence and self-indulgent, moaning banter.
  20. Vampires — once among the great villains of literature and motion pictures — are no longer scary. In fact, they’re every bit as whiny, self-absorbed and impotent as any human being.
Click to expand...

Amen!! The whole Twilight phenomenon makes me furious! Absolute garbage that is influencing a whole generation of girls to be spineless and dependent on abusive men.

Don't get me started on 50 Shades...I read all the Twilight books...I could barely manage the first 50 Shades book.
 
Cajungal

Cajungal

Staff member
One of my teacher friends loved 50 Shades. She's a bit older and not very tech savvy. Maybe she doesn't know how much *good* porn you can get for free.
 
Squidleybits

Squidleybits

LOL it's not the fact that the book is explicit that bothers me. And consenting adults are free to do (or be written to do) whatever floats their boat.

I really feel that he coerced her into his lifestyle and the book is full of drivel where she wants him to love her so she very reluctantly agrees. Maybe books two and three get better but I just can't.
 
HCGLNS

HCGLNS

Squidleybits said:
LOL it's not the fact that the book is explicit that bothers me. And consenting adults are free to do (or be written to do) whatever floats their boat.

I really feel that he coerced her into his lifestyle and the book is full of drivel where she wants him to love her so she very reluctantly agrees. Maybe books two and three get better but I just can't.
Click to expand...
Make sure you put the dishwasher on.
 
HCGLNS

HCGLNS

I'm just being a lazy bump and asking you to turn on the dishwasher before you come up stairs, telling you verbally would take me away from CivClicker.
 
HCGLNS

HCGLNS

Of CivClicker, Twilight or porn? And you're taking the tablet, I am bringing books and Y2K compliant items.
 
Bowielee

Bowielee

I'll say what I've always said about Twilight.

"I don't know why women love Twilight so much, because it sure hates them."
 
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