[Announcement] Sex questions and concerns? Let me help you.

Chad Sexington · Mar 22, 2014

I have decided to return to my enormously successful career as a sex advice columnist.

For the uninitiated: http://www.sexingtonsecrets.blogspot.com

Questions accepted here or at sexingtonsecrets@gmail.com

Come on you kinky, sexy lovers, and kinky, sexy self-lovers alike. Ask me. Get the help you need.

CrimsonSoul · Mar 22, 2014

Fuck yes!

LittleSin · Mar 23, 2014

Dude, you should cross post to tumblr.

Would reblog and follow.

bhamv3 · Mar 24, 2014

Dear Chad Sexington:

I sometimes have strong urges at work to stick my weiner in the pickle slicer. What should I do?

Thanks,
Bhamv

Chad Sexington · Mar 24, 2014

LittleSin said:
Dude, you should cross post to tumblr.

Would reblog and follow.

I could probably do this.

Emrys · Mar 24, 2014

Dear Chad Sexington,

I'm having trouble finding a consort to aid me in my quest to take over the world.

What do you recommend?

Celt Z · Mar 24, 2014

Dear Chad Sexington,

I am a White Caucasian female with an Asian male. I am afraid because of our different races we won't be biologically compatible, like trying to play a blue ray disc in a DVD player. Is there any hope for us?

Officer_Charon · Mar 24, 2014

Awwwww yiss.

Mutha.

Fuckin'.

Chad Sexington.

ThatNickGuy · Mar 24, 2014

Emrys said:
Dear Chad Sexington,

I'm having trouble finding a consort to aid me in my quest to take over the world.

What do you recommend?

Dude, Lord Diomedes is prepped and ready for world conquest.

He even has heat vision.

Chad Sexington · Mar 24, 2014

ThatNickGuy said:
Dude, Lord Diomedes is prepped and ready for world conquest.

He even has heat vision.

Hey, whoa, man, bestiality is a crime!

...But the real crime is that it is a crime.

Chad Sexington · Mar 30, 2014

IT HAS RETURNED IN GLORY

NSFW Obviously. Well, it's mostly language, so YMMV depending on where you work.

Tumblr will be reposting my old stuff from the blog for a few days while I use the current submissions to generate new stuff.

Ravenpoe · Mar 30, 2014

Dear Chad,

Should I put it in her pooper?

Chad Sexington · Mar 30, 2014

I am adding a few of your tumblr's -people I think won't mind- but if you'd rather not have such an account associated with yours, I will take no offense at being removed/blocked. If I don't add you, it's cause I either thought you would mind, didn't have your tumblr, or just wasn't sure. Feel free to add mine and I'll respond in kind.

ThatNickGuy · Mar 30, 2014

Ravenpoe said:
Dear Chad,

Should I put it in her pooper?

I'll take this one.

No, you do not PUT it in her poop her.

YOU STICK IT IN HER POOPER!

Ravenpoe · Mar 30, 2014

ThatNickGuy said:
I'll take this one.

No, you do not PUT it in her poop her.

YOU STICK IT IN HER POOPER!

Thanks Nick, this is the guidance I needed.

Should I ask her out first? I feel like I may be jumping the gun.

ThatNickGuy · Mar 30, 2014

Ravenpoe said:
Thanks Nick, this is the guidance I needed.

Should I ask her out first? I feel like I may be jumping the gun.

Both! At the same time!

Celt Z · Mar 30, 2014

Geez, they have a Cyanide & Happiness for everything, don't they?

ThatNickGuy · Mar 30, 2014

Celt Z said:
Geez, they have a Cyanide & Happiness for everything, don't they?

Psh. No.

Well, actually, yes.

GasBandit · Mar 30, 2014

ThatNickGuy said:
Both! At the same time!

Chad Sexington · Mar 31, 2014

LittleSin said:
Dude, you should cross post to tumblr.

Would reblog and follow.

Hey, I can't seem to find your tumblr. Can you add mine or post a link to yours?

Chad Sexington · May 24, 2014

So I'm a failure, but look.

Finally.

I did it.

http://sexychadsecrets.tumblr.com/post/86741694892/pickles-poopers-and-definitely-not-prostitutes

Maybe I'll get a cookie.

Or banged.

@phil @Emrys @LittleSin @Celt Z @Officer_Charon @ThatNickGuy I answered your questions! Literally months late.

Celt Z · May 24, 2014

THANK YOU CHAD YOU HAVE SAVED MY RELATIONSHIP.

phil · May 24, 2014

You took too long! I had to pretty woman the situation. We've been in a loving relationship for weeks now. It's the happiest we've ever been.

Thanks, asshole.

evilmike · May 25, 2014

Celt Z said:
THANK YOU CHAD YOU HAVE SAVED MY RELATIONSHIP.

Please be aware that @Chad Sexington has given you dangerously irresponsible advice. He never once mentioned the most significant problem you and your husband face -- region coding. One of you is region 1 and the other region 3. The good news is that Li'l Z isn't possessed and speaking in tongues; the bad news is that he is producing garbled output due to this region mismatch. I suggest planning to update his firmware as soon as possible.

ThatNickGuy · May 25, 2014

Oy! I didn't ask that question! That was @Ravenpoe! Give credit where it's deserved.

Besides, I would've asked it as SHOULD I STICK IT IN HER POOPER?!

Celt Z · May 25, 2014

evilmike said:
Please be aware that @Chad Sexington has given you dangerously irresponsible advice. He never once mentioned the most significant problem you and your husband face -- region coding. One of you is region 1 and the other region 3. The good news is that Li'l Z isn't possessed and speaking in tongues; the bad news is that he is producing garbled output due to this region mismatch. I suggest planning to update his firmware as soon as possible.

And all this time I just thought it was toddler-babbling.