[Movies] Guardians of the Galaxy
- Thread starter evilmike
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I am confused and conflicted.
fade
Staff member
Man I haven't been this attracted to a bearded lady since I worked at the circus.
So far I've liked all the MCU movies. There are a couple that are relatively weak (eg. Iron Man 2), although they're not actually BAD. The MCU doesn't have a Phantom Menace or Final Frontier. Yes, I realize Phantom Menace pulled in over a billion dollars but that's beside the point.
Well, I listed my problems with Thor 2 a few times before, actually, but to re-iterate:
1. The washed out color palette made the movie drab. The first movie was kind of cheezy, but at least it was vibrant, bright, and colorful. I get that it's "The Dark World" but visually a lot of scenes were just dull.
2. The scene where the Asgardians are fighting those marauders was okay, but reminded me of the opening of Expendables 2: "Alright, action sequence, establish a Hemsworth as badass, and goodbye token Asian friend."
3. The villain was absurdly one-dimensional. I honestly don't know if Christopher Eccelston was tranquilized during filming or what. There was never any chance of being sympathetic or even remotely interested in Malekith. There was no melancholic discussion of the glorious of darkness, no rage at being driven into hiding by the Light, nothing at all, really. On top of that, he was a complete idiot - attempting to defeat your enemy by intentionally sacrificing 90% of your entire race, and failing? And then trying it again? It got to the point that, even if he won, it would be like him and three other Dark Elves left. Not really a whole lot of future there.
4. Odin was no longer the wise king of the gods, but just a complete asshole to everyone - Thor, Loki (okay, that one's justified), his own people, and especially...
5. Jane Foster was no longer a character, she was something that things happened to for most of the movie. There's a good 30 minute stretch of the movie where her character is technically present, but contributes NOTHING.
6. The weird retconning of Thor and Jane's relationship, from a life-changing meeting with the tantalizing possibility of romance, to "crying for weeks and staying in bed" - which completely counters what we see of her character in the first movie, in which she would have been driven to explore and understand the new information and possibilities that Thor had introduced her to, and that SHIELD's resources could permit her to work with. I mean this is the same woman who was willing to break a crazy homeless giant out of the hospital just because he might know something about a weird astrophysical phenomena she witnessed, and stand up to the Men In Black for interfering with her research. Yet somehow now, "OMG the guy I kissed *once* is gone CRY SLEEP CRY BINGE" - bullshit. It's more bullshit than Wolverine's obsession with Jean Grey, which is essentially carrying a torch for decades for a one-night-stand that didn't actually happen.
7. SO much expository dialogue.
8. How did Asgard become a galactic / universal power without figuring out "infantry should have ranged weapons"? I mean, for fucks sake, the Einherjar's swords could been capable of firing some kind of energy like a much weaker version of Odin's Spear or Mjolnir. Or at the least super-high tech throwing axes or spears even? Instead it was just getting shot to pieces until they got in melee range, which was just stupid.
9. The fighting scenes felt too small for the epic scale the movie was trying for.
1. The washed out color palette made the movie drab. The first movie was kind of cheezy, but at least it was vibrant, bright, and colorful. I get that it's "The Dark World" but visually a lot of scenes were just dull.
2. The scene where the Asgardians are fighting those marauders was okay, but reminded me of the opening of Expendables 2: "Alright, action sequence, establish a Hemsworth as badass, and goodbye token Asian friend."
3. The villain was absurdly one-dimensional. I honestly don't know if Christopher Eccelston was tranquilized during filming or what. There was never any chance of being sympathetic or even remotely interested in Malekith. There was no melancholic discussion of the glorious of darkness, no rage at being driven into hiding by the Light, nothing at all, really. On top of that, he was a complete idiot - attempting to defeat your enemy by intentionally sacrificing 90% of your entire race, and failing? And then trying it again? It got to the point that, even if he won, it would be like him and three other Dark Elves left. Not really a whole lot of future there.
4. Odin was no longer the wise king of the gods, but just a complete asshole to everyone - Thor, Loki (okay, that one's justified), his own people, and especially...
5. Jane Foster was no longer a character, she was something that things happened to for most of the movie. There's a good 30 minute stretch of the movie where her character is technically present, but contributes NOTHING.
6. The weird retconning of Thor and Jane's relationship, from a life-changing meeting with the tantalizing possibility of romance, to "crying for weeks and staying in bed" - which completely counters what we see of her character in the first movie, in which she would have been driven to explore and understand the new information and possibilities that Thor had introduced her to, and that SHIELD's resources could permit her to work with. I mean this is the same woman who was willing to break a crazy homeless giant out of the hospital just because he might know something about a weird astrophysical phenomena she witnessed, and stand up to the Men In Black for interfering with her research. Yet somehow now, "OMG the guy I kissed *once* is gone CRY SLEEP CRY BINGE" - bullshit. It's more bullshit than Wolverine's obsession with Jean Grey, which is essentially carrying a torch for decades for a one-night-stand that didn't actually happen.
7. SO much expository dialogue.
8. How did Asgard become a galactic / universal power without figuring out "infantry should have ranged weapons"? I mean, for fucks sake, the Einherjar's swords could been capable of firing some kind of energy like a much weaker version of Odin's Spear or Mjolnir. Or at the least super-high tech throwing axes or spears even? Instead it was just getting shot to pieces until they got in melee range, which was just stupid.
9. The fighting scenes felt too small for the epic scale the movie was trying for.
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I've heard that a lot of Malekith's backstory was left on the editing room floor, sadly, and he suffered as a character for it.
Wife and I saw it in theaters. Didn't take long for us to get bored. The issues others have mentioned are all true, plus the whole "kill the mom" scene and funeral felt really forced for upping the stakes, but it just felt like plodding without purpose. Some of the dialogue was terrible and stilted, like they had no idea how to tell us what we needed to know in a natural way, so didn't bother to try.
Also: "Trust my rage."
Had we been in the back row, we would've started making out. It was just a slog. The third act was much better, but felt like a different movie had started. I don't know why the tone was all over the place.
Also: "Trust my rage."
Had we been in the back row, we would've started making out. It was just a slog. The third act was much better, but felt like a different movie had started. I don't know why the tone was all over the place.
Remember how a talking raccoon, a merc no less, did more to defend civilians then Superman did?
Even Godzilla did more to defend civilians than Superman.
That is actually true, which doesn't speak well of Superman.
http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/4-signs-dc-comics-has-no-clue-how-to-make-superhero-movies/
And DC, predictably, is making the same mistakes.
And DC, predictably, is making the same mistakes.
I don't even like calling him Superman, I just call him Snyderboy.
Probably because those are their mistakes they've already made. Why stop when on a roll?
I imagine him saying this, as he causes cherry blossoms to fall in the background.
Pre-orders are now available on amazon. Doesnt even have a release date yet ( should be late November or early December though, using the 4 month rule). I happily ordered mine already.
maybe only on amazon.ca? I dunno what to tell you. Cause I definitely saw it.I flip flopped between getting the Bluray or the Deluxe Bluray/Ultraviolet 3D/DVD version. went with the latter because it qualified for the free shipping and the other had a shipping charge that made it only like 40 cents less.
oh, might be because i signed up back in August to be alerted when it became available. maybe there's like, a pre-pre order period for those who signed up for that?
GasBandit
Staff member
I am Bender! (Please insert girder!)
WE are Bender.
