[Funny] April Fools 2015

fade

fade

Staff member
ThatNickGuy said:
I am pleased to finally announce that I'm teaming up with my favourite comic book writer, Kurt Busiek.

That's right, folks. We're going to bring you a never-before seen re-imagining of a classic character. Only this time, it's a dark and gritty re-imagining of...

LITTLE LULU.
Click to expand...
Photo (1).jpeg
 
Shakey

Shakey

The next update to Minecraft will be 1.10!

Gameplay
  • We have removed the ability to directly harm other creatures. You should be rewarded for helping, not hurting.
  • Removed Health and Hunger. We feel that these are not appropriate gameplay mechanics for a game about love, sharing and peacefulness.
  • Added a new “Love” meter. This fills up the more you help others, and others help you.
  • “Survival” mode has been renamed to “Existence”.
Animals
  • Bats are now 20% cuter. Squeek.
  • Chickens can now be ridden by any player less than two blocks tall.
  • Cows will now alert you to important events that you may have missed by means of an audible notification.
  • Pigs can no longer fly, but can now climb on walls.
  • Rabbits are fluffy.
  • Sheep will, if asked nicely, share their wool to keep you warm.
  • Squid changed, but we’re still trying to figure out how or why.
Monsters Inhabitants
  • “Monsters” are no longer named as such. The preferred term is “Inhabitants”, as they live in this world just like you or me.
  • Steve and Alex have realized that the inhabitants are not evil, and just want to hug and get along.
  • Creepers no longer explode. They have gotten over their nervous disposition and are much more friendly once you get to know them.
  • Skeletons have revealed themselves to be very efficient farmers, having a permanent source of bone meal on them at all times.
  • Blazes are actually pretty cool guys and will defend you from harm.
  • Guardians have put aside the initial misunderstanding, and now welcome you into their home with arms… erm… eyes… wide open.
  • Ghasts are no longer frightened so easily, and will offer you rides throughout the nether.
  • Slimes are now pretty fun to hang around with, sharing their secret jumping abilities to those that will listen.
  • Witches are super friendly and surprisingly knowledgable. They will help you by sharing their potions.
  • Zombies are extremely cuddly and love to hug.
  • The Wither has been replaced with his lovable pink counterpart, promoting vitality and nourishment to the environment around him.
Weather & Environment
  • Removed rain as it upset a lot of players.
  • Falling snow has a chance to make exposed chests mysteriously full of goodies at midnight.
Villagers & Villages
  • Trading has been rebalanced. We felt that the previous incarnation wasn’t very fair, and believe the new system is a step towards helping fix this.
  • Villagers will offer you help in picking up items or blocks, in exchange for a small fee for their services.
  • Iron Golems can appear as a manifestation of the village’s love for you.
Blocks
  • Lava has been replaced with liquid cheese. It’s delicious and much safer!
  • TNT has been replaced with a much friendlier block: A love bomb.
Items
  • As we no longer have a hunger system, food items now give Happiness instead of Saturation.
  • Carrot on a Stick has been removed. It was just cruel to pigs and we are very sorry for this.
Combat
  • Bows no longer require arrows.
  • Shooting things makes them fall in love with the first thing they see.
  • Removed combat.
World generation & terrain
  • Dungeons have been replaced with homes, offering a much more inviting and comfortable experience for everybody.
  • All caves have been checked by the Minecraft Safety Committee to ensure a safer experience for players.
  • Desert temples no longer contain TNT traps, and come with a nice, safe way to access the bottom floor.
  • Some cliff edges may be lined with fences to avoid accidents by the unwary traveller.
  • Jungle temples are no longer trapped, containing instead a new rare Golden Creeper to reward exploration.
Potions
  • Some potions such as Strength or Harming have been removed, as we no longer have a place for them in the game.
  • Added four (4) new potions:
    • Love Potion
    • Happiness Potion
    • Potion of Sharing
    • Potion of Caring
    • Fun Potion
Transportation
  • Horses can no longer be ridden as this was deemed unfair to the horses.
    • In compensation to the horses, they can now ride on your shoulders.
  • Minecarts now have a fluffy pink interior.
  • Added obsidian boats which are impossible to break.
  • Improved regular wooden boats.
  • Added dirt bikes.
  • Ender pearls no longer transport you to the target, but instead the target to you.
Weather & Environment
  • Added rain back as it soothed a lot of players.
  • Falling snow has a chance to make exposed chests mysteriously full of goodies at midnight.
Game Settings
  • Not everybody had the same experience playing Minecraft under different configurations, so we decided to remove all the graphical settings.
  • You may now only have one world, in order to reduce fragmentation and to treat all worlds as equals.
  • Some resource packs were prettier than others, giving some players an unfair advantage in the amount of fun they were having. This has been fixed.
Click to expand...
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

Celt Z said:
That's pretty funny, but at the same time, if this was an alt playable version of Minecraft, I'd want to try it. Very few games (except for puzzle games) exist where you can't use brute force of some sort to get your reward. It sound like it would be challenging to stop my instinctual "hit it until something happens/dies".
Click to expand...
I've often mused the idea of playing a Diablo character who never attacks, just to see if it would be possible. Just try to complete the game solely on thorns and other retaliatory skills.

--Patrick
 
Bubble181

Bubble181

PatrThom said:
I've often mused the idea of playing a Diablo character who never attacks, just to see if it would be possible. Just try to complete the game solely on thorns and other retaliatory skills.

--Patrick
Click to expand...
In D2, yes, with a skelemancer. Though, it depends on what you class as "finishing the game".
 
Bubble181

Bubble181

Celt Z said:
You hurt Diablo's feelings enough he takes his ball and goes home?
Click to expand...
"getting to and killing Diablo" on normal is no problem whatsoever with a pacifist skelemancer, if that's your view of "finishing". It doesn't count for some if you don't finish Hell.

Similarly, i'd imagine a thorns-only approach would easily work in D3 on Normal. Torment? Not so much :p
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

Bubble181 said:
it depends on what you class as "finishing the game".
Click to expand...
Killing the endgame bosses, of course. The trick is to make it all the result of their own actions, i.e., "if you didn't want to die then you should've stopped hitting me." That means initiating zero kills, and that probably means not using followers, too.
fade said:
http://kotaku.com/5683023/this-guy-beat-fallout-new-vegas-with-zero-kills
Click to expand...
That was my inspiration for the idea, yes.

--Patrick
 
Bubble181

Bubble181

Hmm, then it's definitely impossible untwinked. Possibly possible twinked in D2 though I doubt it; in D3 you'd have the problem of getting to your stash the first time (before Lt. Redford).
 
Squidleybits

Squidleybits

I am totally trying this tonight. I am going to try a normal rift with my WD and see if her pets can do all the work while she stands there looking good :)
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

Bubble181 said:
it's definitely impossible untwinked.
Click to expand...
I wonder about that. I've never tried to just let Captain Rumford and his men kill everything.
Also there's the matter of being able to survive long enough to start wearing gear that can bite back, which might mean playing in adventure mode, which might mean getting another character to 70 first.

--Patrick
 
fade

fade

Staff member
I like puppies and Twinkies and your favorite boring-ass video game and that crappy song you like and the movie you were all over like it was the second coming of Jesus and Michael Bay.

HA April Fool's. Everything still sucks. Except for Pierce Brosnan's beard. That was awesome.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top