The Dream Thread

fade

Staff member
We can write that, but first I need you to do something for me. I need you to wake up.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
And last night I dreamed that my step dad sold my car to a man in China while my backpack was still in it, and the man, who spoke perfect English, pretended not to understand me as he drove away, me trying to flag him down to get my backpack back.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
This was a few nights ago but I'm still kind of freaked out about it. I dreamt that I was at home and there was a knock on my door. I opened it and it was three of my neighbors - they weren't my actual neighbors, they were just three random people that were my neighbors in this dream - and they had a warning for me. They told me that another neighbor had mentioned that he was going to kill everyone in my house. The actually terminology was "I'm going to kill them throughout the night." This happened three or four times and I can't remember anything happening between the knocks on the door, but I definitely remember answering the door several times. I eventually suspected that they weren't there to warn me, but were there to watch it happen. The last time I opened the door, a fourth man showed up. He was older. Balding, glasses, a cardigan sweater - and a knife. He said "it's time to start the show"...I slammed the door shut. He proved to be much stronger than me, and forced it open...that's when I woke up.

I got up for work. I showered and let my dog out per my normal morning routine. And that's when I realized I had left my keys in the door after coming home the previous night.
2spoopy4me, dude
 

fade

Staff member
That's amazing. Your subconscious was trying to send your conscious mind a message I guess.
 
I just dreamed that I worked for Kayden Kross and Stoya at a porn studio as a graphic designer (what I originally went to college for after high school). I had to call my mom and explain to her that I wasn't becoming a porn star, I just worked for them. Also, I talked to Kayden about setting up stuff so she could Twitch stream or something.

It was the nerdiest porn dream OF ALL TIME.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I dreamed I still worked for the company I worked for when I was 20, and they were REALLY wondering where the hell I was.

That's better than my usual old work dreams. Sometimes I dream I walk into a best buy, where I worked in high school in Colorado, and my old manager is there and he tells me if I don't take my shift right now I'm fired... and I do it because I don't remember I'm operations director for a radio station in Texas.
 
I dreamed I was having some kind backyard potluck, and someone dropped their piece of cornbread. As it bounced down the deck stairs, I practically killed myself trying to save it, because it was important for world peace because I suddenly realized that all of my guests were intergalactic diplomats.

About that time, my wife woke me up, and I told her "I'm rescuing cornbread."
 
Due to sundry reasons, I only slept about 45 minutes tonight. Then I had a vivid dream of my wife getting hit by a car, dying, and the police taking me to identify the body.

This morning she almost got hit by a car, predictably.
 

Cajungal

Staff member
Dreamed that my hissing cockroaches mated again. I got fed up, bought 5 bottles of nail polish remover, and dumped it in their tank. I'm a monster.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Last night I dreamed that I was in a movie theater that had been built out of a passenger airline cabin, and only half of that, so there was just an aisle and rows of 1, 2, or 3 seats. But the other guy in my row was extremely rude and insulting, so I punched him in the face. Everybody thanked me. Then I tried to gift wrap a folded comforter. It went about as well as you might expect.
 
I dreamed that someone broke into our garage and stole the recycling that we had been saving for the school bottle drive. Seriously? The one dream I remember recently and that's it? No Thor? No Usher?

The weird part is that I woke up totally convinced that I was hearing an alarm ... @HCGLNS even checked for me!
 

fade

Staff member
I had a dream that I invented and successfully marketed cleavage charms. They were little things you put in your cleavage while wearing a low cut shirt, and they ranged all over the place in style. Since I started the campaign on Halloween, the first one was a gargoyle who was designed to look like he was being compressed between the breasts, with his hands out and a funny little oof face. The whole dream was all 80s business success movie style. Montage, obligatory magazine cover.
 
I had a dream that I invented and successfully marketed cleavage charms. They were little things you put in your cleavage while wearing a low cut shirt, and they ranged all over the place in style. Since I started the campaign on Halloween, the first one was a gargoyle who was designed to look like he was being compressed between the breasts, with his hands out and a funny little oof face. The whole dream was all 80s business success movie style. Montage, obligatory magazine cover.
You know, that would probably sell. Got any sculpting ability?
 

Dave

Staff member
And it gives us the excuse to be able to look at cleavage without the target or my wife getting mad!
 
This is going to sound strange, but my dream last night was like I was in a James Bond movie.

And yes, it was Daniel Craig as Bond.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I had the wierdest weirdest dream last night that I don't remember most of, however, it did involve slashing someone's throat with a blade fabricated by compressing a banana to diamond hardness.
 

fade

Staff member
I had a dream that I invented a game that consisted of a piece of burlap stretched over an upright frame (like Connect Four) full of holes of varying shapes and sizes. You had to string knotted strips of bamboo through the holes to win. I got Snoop Dog to endorse it, and I called it Hitches and Holes. Which was hilarious in the dream, but kind of dumb now that I type it out.
 
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My husband is getting a vasectomy in an hour, and every dream I can remember from last night is me trying to talk him out of it. I really don't want to go back to having completely dependant children again, but my biological clock so does not agree. The 5 billion baby pictures my cousins keep posting is also killing me. ;)
 
My husband is getting a vasectomy in an hour, and every dream I can remember from last night is me trying to talk him out of it. I really don't want to go back to having completely dependant children again, but my biological clock so does not agree. The 5 billion baby pictures my cousins keep posting is also killing me. ;)
I feel really bad for one of my friends. She was married to a real piece of shit, so after 2 kids she decided that she wanted to get her tubes cauterized so she can't have any more kinds with that dick. She finally divorced him and ended up with a guy that she really loves and is good to her who wants kids of his own, and now she can't have any. She could have it reversed, but it would cost a small fortune.
 

fade

Staff member
I was standing on the lawn of my parents' house at night, and all I knew was that I was terrified. Gibs and chunks of bodies started falling in random bits from the sky, which had a full moon and some clouds. I looked up, but couldn't see where they were coming from. I just knew there was something there after everyone. There was this skinny, hag-like old lady standing in a deep puddle in the driveway, too, and she was laughing and saying, "He'll get ya, boy!" Then I saw him--he looked like the silhouette of a giant little boy, flying gingerbread man style, with glowing blue-white eyes. He made a terrible cross between a screech and a scream that just ripped across the entire landscape. I knew he saw me, and so, I did the only thing I could think of. I grabbed the old lady around the neck, and she stopped laughing and got scared. I just kept shouting, "Let me go, or I let go of your mother!", implying I was ready to kill her to make my escape. I ran and hid in the trees with her, while his shadow kept passing over. Then I woke up.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Couple nights ago I dreamed I was visiting my parents. Apparently they had some kind of insect problem, because my stepmother had decided the best way to deal with it was to let loose hundreds of tarantulas in the house. On every surface, every piece of furniture - walls, floors, couches, chairs, tables, ceiling, TV, kitchen, all of it... big hairy spiders all over everything. Not doing anything aggressive or anything, but I just turned around and said "I'll be staying at a hotel. Call me when you want to go get something to eat... at a restaurant!"
 
Couple nights ago I dreamed I was visiting my parents. Apparently they had some kind of insect problem, because my stepmother had decided the best way to deal with it was to let loose hundreds of tarantulas in the house. On every surface, every piece of furniture - walls, floors, couches, chairs, tables, ceiling, TV, kitchen, all of it... big hairy spiders all over everything. Not doing anything aggressive or anything, but I just turned around and said "I'll be staying at a hotel. Call me when you want to go get something to eat... at a restaurant!"
Might want to check your pillow.
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--Patrick
 
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