Live-in boyfriends and girlfriends in parents' home
- Thread starter Cajungal
- Start date
My house has a rule against that.
This would never have happened in my parents' house.
Hell, my parents even made long-term, going to get married couples sleep in separate rooms when we went on family trips and had hotel rooms. My sister, for example, was not allowed to stay in the same hotel room as her 5-year boyfriend who she eventually married. I had to share a room with him while she was in the same room as them. To be clear, they both were in college at the time.
I kinda share your awe at that happening, CG, but mostly just shrug it off.
Hell, my parents even made long-term, going to get married couples sleep in separate rooms when we went on family trips and had hotel rooms. My sister, for example, was not allowed to stay in the same hotel room as her 5-year boyfriend who she eventually married. I had to share a room with him while she was in the same room as them. To be clear, they both were in college at the time.
I kinda share your awe at that happening, CG, but mostly just shrug it off.
Cajungal
Staff member
Yeah it doesn't quite 'shock' me, per se...I just was never sure what most people do, because I've only gotten to live in one place.
With my parents, they always assumed - for me, brother and sister - that, by the time we brought a significant other home to be introduced, it was serious enough to sleep in the same room. Considering we all had rooms with single beds back when we lived at home, I'm fairly sure they didn't intend for us to sleep apart.
With my current parents-in-law, first time I was there, I slept in their daughter's bedroom and bed. Nobody batted an eye.
With my former parents-in-law....Same.
My grandparents' generation was somewhat stricter, being also far more religious, but even at my grandparents' place I slept in the same room as my then-girlfriend (only met my current girlfriend when all four of them had died), thought we did have two covers, if we wanted to sleep separately
. But only one mattress, so....
Honestly, even for the more conservative catholic families here, most people of my parents' generation would find that perfectly normal (from a certain age up, say 16 or so). In fact, "they won't even let someone sleep with their boyfriend/girlfriend" is used as one of many ways (for the dickish right) to point out the "otherness" and "hyperconservativeness" and "backwardness" and so on of most, more conservative, Muslims.
With my current parents-in-law, first time I was there, I slept in their daughter's bedroom and bed. Nobody batted an eye.
With my former parents-in-law....Same.
My grandparents' generation was somewhat stricter, being also far more religious, but even at my grandparents' place I slept in the same room as my then-girlfriend (only met my current girlfriend when all four of them had died), thought we did have two covers, if we wanted to sleep separately
. But only one mattress, so....Honestly, even for the more conservative catholic families here, most people of my parents' generation would find that perfectly normal (from a certain age up, say 16 or so). In fact, "they won't even let someone sleep with their boyfriend/girlfriend" is used as one of many ways (for the dickish right) to point out the "otherness" and "hyperconservativeness" and "backwardness" and so on of most, more conservative, Muslims.
I'm Swedish, so the concern would have been the insinuated failure to grow up and get your own damn place. Swedes are worried about owing others financially, even to some extent family members, not other peoples sexy times. Most parents would be fine with their kids having sex under their roof. If they are teenagers there would probably be a very serious lecture about safety, that's it.
Hey now, if I think someone is backwards, that doesn't necessarily mean I think they're stupid. I could think they're stupid for entirely different reasons.*
*Though, joke aside, I'm off the camp that follows rules and customs if I'm a guest in someone's home. I'm a godless heathen, but I'll still bow my head for grace if that's the custom of anyone I'm a guest of.
i was always of the camp of small things are fine, i dont visit or crash at a hotel of people whose beliefs are so different that it clashes with my way of life.
Had a friends whose family was super religious when i was in high school, i crashed at his place one Saturday night, i woke up on Sunday morning to his mother looming over me shouting something about church. apparently it was their custom that everyone no matter what goes to church on Sunday. (PROTIP: one of my titles is "Bones the Apostate"). I politely excused myself and walked out to my car, his mother refused to let me drive away in my own car parked on the street. she sits on my hood and says she wont move until i come with them. "oh ok you win, I'll follow you in my car" she agrees, and goes back in the house. I drove away and never looked back.
Well, here's the thing, if I'm in someone's home, I assume it's because I like them and want to be there. And people who would do something like you described would not fall into those categories.
That's insane! I have no idea how I would have handled that.
Been with the gf's family for christmas, they went to church and I dropped down on the couch for a nap.
There also never has been any trouble with staying there and sharing a bed and room with their daughter. Neither had her younger sister any problems with her boyfriends.
Pretty open minded people, even as they are catholics.
Gf has an aunt that is staunchely catholic when it comes to swearing, praying, church and all (yes, even not using contraceptives and such shenanigans), but even they had no problem with one of their daughters sharing a place with her then bf-now husband. I especially was surprised they did support their other daughter when she got pregnant out of wedlock. Still all in the green now. 2md baby, same bf, still no ring.
And that's talking from a pretty conservative part of Germany!
There also never has been any trouble with staying there and sharing a bed and room with their daughter. Neither had her younger sister any problems with her boyfriends.
Pretty open minded people, even as they are catholics.
Gf has an aunt that is staunchely catholic when it comes to swearing, praying, church and all (yes, even not using contraceptives and such shenanigans), but even they had no problem with one of their daughters sharing a place with her then bf-now husband. I especially was surprised they did support their other daughter when she got pregnant out of wedlock. Still all in the green now. 2md baby, same bf, still no ring.
And that's talking from a pretty conservative part of Germany!