Rant VIII: The Reckoning
- Thread starter Anonymous
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I can't re-live that
I narrowly escaped it the first time even after doing all their treatments....I might not get lucky a second time and my hair is so processed that the lice shampoo might break it.
A
Anonymous
Anonymous
Fuck. Fuckity. Fuck. Fuck Fuck.
Another fucking false alarm.
Every goddamn month.
I'm so sick of this shit.
I need a drink.
Fuck.
Another fucking false alarm.
Every goddamn month.
I'm so sick of this shit.
I need a drink.
Fuck.
Look, I got this down pat. I'm gonna pass
So I just hang out at the back of the class
And tell my dumb jokes
To all these slacker folks
And watch the teacher shake her sweet ass
So help me, if my husband tells me that my son really needs to be forced harder to do his homework, while sitting on the side and saying he can't do anything about it because he'll just end up getting too angry ONE MORE TIME, I am going to get angry all over his shit. I already once again have to get angry all over the school about how my son's IEP needs are clearly not being met if he's in danger of summer school in a subject in which he gets 100% or more on every test.
Upper left arm started randomly throbbing about 8 this morning and wouldn't go away after taking aspirin or nitro. No chest pains at any other warning signs that are typical, but it was the left arm.
So here I am in the observation ward for the night with a stress test pending in the morning.
OTOH, I found a pdf of the book Ignition! which is otherwise long out of print and loaded it onto my phone. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
So here I am in the observation ward for the night with a stress test pending in the morning.
OTOH, I found a pdf of the book Ignition! which is otherwise long out of print and loaded it onto my phone. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Dave
Staff member
What kind of stress test? Do they make you walk on a treadmill or do they wake you up in the middle of the night, say you've been in a coma, and that Trump is president?
I've still got a barn.
I really disliked the chemical test. My heart literally tried to escape my chest.
By that point the wall will have been built.
...by the Canadians.
...wouldn't that be great?
-Trump gets elected, America builds a wall along the southern border.
-Canada immediately builds a second wall along America's northern border.
-America is all, "Canada? WTF?"
-Canada replies, "Hey, if it's good for the silly goose, it's good for the gander."
--Patrick
I'm home now, but I think they forgot about me. I started making noise about getting out around 6pm. They still hadn't read the test. I got dinner just before the 7pm cutoff just in case. By 8:30 I was telling them test result or no, I was leaving. Moments later it was "your results came back negative, so you're discharged."
No change in the meds at all. End result is losing two nights of work.
No change in the meds at all. End result is losing two nights of work.
It's 9:30 here, which I think means I've given it enough time to declare the following.
Fuck today. Fuck it in its stupid fucking face.
The worst part? Nothing huge has occurred. It's just one of those days where every little thing that can fuck up will fuck up in the most annoying way. Latest example? Grabbed a frozen yogurt because the kids ate the one's I usually eat. Hand slipped on the tube while I was trying to squeeze said yogurt out, resulting in my reenactment of the last ten seconds of every video on Brazzers at my desk.
Fuck today. Fuck it in its stupid fucking face.
The worst part? Nothing huge has occurred. It's just one of those days where every little thing that can fuck up will fuck up in the most annoying way. Latest example? Grabbed a frozen yogurt because the kids ate the one's I usually eat. Hand slipped on the tube while I was trying to squeeze said yogurt out, resulting in my reenactment of the last ten seconds of every video on Brazzers at my desk.
My grandfather passed away Saturday night. It's a complicated situation, though, so I don't know for sure how to feel about it.
When I was growing up, my brothers and I used to visit the grandparents 3-4 times a week during the summer, and a couple times a week during the school year. They treated us extremely well, and I don't have any bad memories from those times. They were great, and they loved us and spent a ton of time with us as children.
When I went away to college, I got news that my grandfather had been arrested for embezzlement. My mom thought the charges were outrageous, and that he only did what he did to help a friend. However, when the truth came out, it turned out he did things that were much, much worse than the original charges claimed, and that he had lied to the entire family for years about some truly awful things (that I won't get into here out of respect for the good times we had). The more time went on, the more terrible things we found he had done, even to members of our own family. He spent 10 years in jail, and when he got out he still refused to even admit he had done anything at all wrong, let alone be contrite about it.
By the time my mom was sick with cancer, my grandparents had basically shut themselves off from the rest of the family and considered us all whiny ingrates that just didn't understand the real truth and didn't give them any credit. My mom passed away two years ago without her parents even being around at all for it, because everyone was still so bitter.
But despite all that, I still have great childhood memories and the guy never did anything averse to me personally. So, I'm just really conflicted right now.
When I was growing up, my brothers and I used to visit the grandparents 3-4 times a week during the summer, and a couple times a week during the school year. They treated us extremely well, and I don't have any bad memories from those times. They were great, and they loved us and spent a ton of time with us as children.
When I went away to college, I got news that my grandfather had been arrested for embezzlement. My mom thought the charges were outrageous, and that he only did what he did to help a friend. However, when the truth came out, it turned out he did things that were much, much worse than the original charges claimed, and that he had lied to the entire family for years about some truly awful things (that I won't get into here out of respect for the good times we had). The more time went on, the more terrible things we found he had done, even to members of our own family. He spent 10 years in jail, and when he got out he still refused to even admit he had done anything at all wrong, let alone be contrite about it.
By the time my mom was sick with cancer, my grandparents had basically shut themselves off from the rest of the family and considered us all whiny ingrates that just didn't understand the real truth and didn't give them any credit. My mom passed away two years ago without her parents even being around at all for it, because everyone was still so bitter.
But despite all that, I still have great childhood memories and the guy never did anything averse to me personally. So, I'm just really conflicted right now.
Dave
Staff member
Yeah, well, we hate you, too.[DOUBLEPOST=1456160323,1456160305][/DOUBLEPOST]
Sorry to hear that, man.
As a person who has held some QC/QA positions in the past, I can appreciate this statement.
--Patrick
I think I'm going to give up on my writing.
I just got out of a one-on-one meeting at Teamworks (who help people with disabilities find jobs/careers) discussing entrepreneurship and being your own boss. Specifically, it was about selling myself as a writer.
And honestly, the more I thought about it, the more depressed I got. Despite several efforts to get word out about my second book, it feels like no one knows about if. I tried getting advanced reviews, or news posts on websites. No replies or I was turned down. I tried getting on podcasts or interviews like Authors on the Air and CBC Radio. CBC said I wasn't well known enough to feature. Authors on tjusir literally laughed at me when I described the book. I tried contacting artists to do short, one-page promotional comic sttips. No reply or declines.
I tried getting some reviewers to look at the book, but to no avail. Even ones that had left reviews before. After 6 momths, Amazon still has NO reviews for the new book despite constant pleading on Facebook to friends and family. The Canadian Amazon site has two reviews, one of which is from my mother.
Locally, I can't even get my book anywhere. The local comic store, Strange Adventures, turned it down because they said novels don't sell well at all there. The big local bookstore turned me down because Pro Se publishes through CreateSpace, which has a bad name among any bookseller that isn't Amazon (I guess they really undercut and screw over everyone else).
And I'm just...I'm so tired of trying to sell my work and getting ignored, turned down, and laughed at. I don't know how to sell myself. It's not worth all this hassle. And because of these stresses, I haven't felt like writing, either. What's the point of no one even knows my work exists or won't even give me the time of day?
I just got out of a one-on-one meeting at Teamworks (who help people with disabilities find jobs/careers) discussing entrepreneurship and being your own boss. Specifically, it was about selling myself as a writer.
And honestly, the more I thought about it, the more depressed I got. Despite several efforts to get word out about my second book, it feels like no one knows about if. I tried getting advanced reviews, or news posts on websites. No replies or I was turned down. I tried getting on podcasts or interviews like Authors on the Air and CBC Radio. CBC said I wasn't well known enough to feature. Authors on tjusir literally laughed at me when I described the book. I tried contacting artists to do short, one-page promotional comic sttips. No reply or declines.
I tried getting some reviewers to look at the book, but to no avail. Even ones that had left reviews before. After 6 momths, Amazon still has NO reviews for the new book despite constant pleading on Facebook to friends and family. The Canadian Amazon site has two reviews, one of which is from my mother.
Locally, I can't even get my book anywhere. The local comic store, Strange Adventures, turned it down because they said novels don't sell well at all there. The big local bookstore turned me down because Pro Se publishes through CreateSpace, which has a bad name among any bookseller that isn't Amazon (I guess they really undercut and screw over everyone else).
And I'm just...I'm so tired of trying to sell my work and getting ignored, turned down, and laughed at. I don't know how to sell myself. It's not worth all this hassle. And because of these stresses, I haven't felt like writing, either. What's the point of no one even knows my work exists or won't even give me the time of day?