North_Ranger said: To give a longer answer... there is a part of me that fears death. It is for quite a simple reason: Let's be honest here, for most of you folks here (with the obvious exception of @
Officer_Charon , for instance [I salute you, sir]), the danger of death is mostly an abstract concept at your stage in life. It's something that will happen, but it's not going to happen anytime soon. For me, it's been a little different ever since the doctors told me the best they can do is try to contain my cancer, and that there might be a point in future where we would have to consider whether it would be better to let the disease take its course or keep taking the meds, even if they cause serious side effects.
In other words, death is not an abstract concept for me. I know I am going to kick the bucket well before turning gray. What I don't know is when that will be. A year from now? Two years? Five? Ten? Twenty? That will all depend on how well I react to treatment, and how long it is viable to keep treating me.
As such... well, I fear death if it comes suddenly, as a result of a new stroke that knocks me out of the game. It is very much unlikely with my current medication, but I know the danger is there. I have considered writing goodbye letters and my last will and testament, but as long as I believe I can remain alive I have postponed such concerns for another day. If there ever is a "you only have X months to live", then I will do such things. Until then, I try to focus on living, or "enlightened hedonism", as I call it. I enjoy good food and drink as much as I am able, partake in movies and video games, and both play and GM a game that I have found to my liking. I know I can't do all the things I used to be able to, but what I can do, I will do as long as I can.
The alternative? Contemplating mortality? Yeah, not gonna happen. Finns are already known for being f***ing melancholic and prone to suicide (I blame the weather, really), so I'll leave that shit to other people. The way I figure, if I kept thinking about death all the time, I would ruin what time I had left. And seeing as it's probably not gonna be one where I get to be a cranky octogenarian, I'd rather do something else, thank you very much.
Now if you'll excuse me, there's a DVD of
Shaun of the Dead in my living room along with a bowl of chips, and they're not gonna hold a movie night on their own
North_Ranger, Oct 25, 2013
^^^^
Cancer will take his life less than a month later after he posted this.
