What are you playing?

Tinwhistler

Tinwhistler

Got Battletech on a GOG sale a while back. Just now getting around to playing it.
Digging it. I love customizing the mechs and turn based combat. It's just right up my alley.
 
Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Frank said:
The music is good and the battle system is not great in my opinion, not into the whole everything autoplays itself. Giving you SOME sort of control over each individuals job would be a thousand times as preferable than 6 combinations. The leveling is maybe the worst it's ever been in an FF game. The story is less coherent than the original translation of the original Final Fantasy. I'm 12 hours in and I still have no idea what the fuck is driving anyone other than they're LACIE of some FALACIE or another.

"YOU'RE EVIL!"

"I am evil. I am enemy!"

WHHHHHHHHYYY ARE ANY OF YOU ANYTHING?!

I love that even the characters don't have a fucking clue what's going on. From what I understand this continues for at least another 12 hours. Awesome.
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You could be playing a good bad game instead of this, Deadly Premonition just released on the switch!
 
Dei

Dei

Alternatively, you could play FF8 which just came out "remastered" and cuss at endless drawing and Triple Triad like I am doing.
 
LordRendar

LordRendar

Bought Ace Combat 7 on Steam. Hits me hard in the nostalgia feels. Need to buy a new controller though, the one I have cant register the subtle movements
I need to pilot comfortably.
 
Frank

Frank

LordRendar said:
Bought Ace Combat 7 on Steam. Hits me hard in the nostalgia feels. Need to buy a new controller though, the one I have cant register the subtle movements
I need to pilot comfortably.
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It's so fuckin' good. After so long without a proper Ace Combat I'm glad we got a proper sequel.

BACK TO FF13.

Here's something I've come to notice. They repeat themselves in cutscenes constantly. Like, sometimes repeating the same conversations more or less. It's so languid and redundant.

Fang reunites with Vanille.

Vanille: Fang!

Fang: Vanille!

They rush together and hug. Monster attacks. Boss battle. Boss battle ends.

Vanille: Fang!

Fang: Vanille!

They rush together and hug.
 
Frank

Frank

Vanille and Hope are hanging out.

Vanille: Hope you have to talk to Snow about what's bugging you.

Hope: I know, I can't. I will. I will I mean, I might.

Sequence of running down a hallway and fighting 4 battles.

Hope: I need to talk to Snow about what's bugging me.

Vanille: I know, you should. I mean, you should, I know.

Sequence of running down a hallway and fighting 4 battles.

Snow: Hey.

Hope: I need to.....uuuhh....talk, I mean, I will, I might.

Vanille: Hope talk to Snow!

Snow: Hold on, there's a hallway and 4 battles to deal with.

Hope and Snow deal with their shit 9 hours later.

Sazh and Vanille are hanging out.

Vanille: You have to talk to Fang about what's bugging you.

Sazh: I mean, I will, I should.

ETC ETC ETC
 
Frank

Frank

We're gonna save Cocoon!

Bad Guy: Nuh uh, did you know, that you're actually not going to!

GWWWWAAAAAAH, I'm shaken to my core. I never considered this!

Bad Guy: Here's some very terrible exposition that makes exactly zero sense for me to reveal.

Bwwwwauuuuugh!
 
Frank

Frank

FF13 has the lamest villain of the series ever too.

Hello, I'm a robot Pope. I do ill-defined evil, I think? I don't know, and neither do you. Mwa ha ha. I talk ominously and have an owl. I also wear a shawl and a veil because as if I needed to look less cool, I need to inspire the look a grandma getting married.

Never mind my nonsensical prattling. I must be come the lamest robot for you to fight.

Also, the AI is painfully stupid. Hope, I need you to buff us. No, not one buff at a time. Just stack a load of buffs Hope. Fuck. Ok, we're fighting 12 tiny frog monsters, so some AOE spells would great bud...ok, no, don't spam lightning at one of them....fuck dude. Ok, now we're fighting one big robot. Cool, now you bust out the thundaga. You stupid piece of shit.
 
Dei

Dei

Frank said:
Also, the AI is painfully stupid. Hope, I need you to buff us. No, not one buff at a time. Just stack a load of buffs Hope. Fuck. Ok, we're fighting 12 tiny frog monsters, so some AOE spells would great bud...ok, no, don't spam lightning at one of them....fuck dude. Ok, now we're fighting one big robot. Cool, now you bust out the thundaga. You stupid piece of shit.
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This is giving me Persona 3 flashbacks.
 
Frank

Frank

My dead horse hasn't been beaten yet. This game is fucking nonsense.

Well, we've explored this lifeless dead world. Time to go save the moon or fucking something. LETS GO! Suddenly in a flashy cutscene, the party is attacking a fucking podrace? What the fuck is going on? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? Summon your shitty transformers! You too Hope, I know your transformer turns into a wall or whatever the fuck this garbage Alexander is supposed to be, so he won't transform in the cutscene. He probably doesn't have a toy either like I'm sure the rest of these ugly assholes do.

This is the most disjointed bullshit I've ever witnessed in a game. How the whole of the development team weren't banished to janitorial forever for this is beyond me. Square Enix is such a baffling company. YOU MADE THREE OF THESE GAMES SQUARE? THREE? WHERE'S THE FINISH OF DEUS EX MANKIND DIVIDED YOU ASSHOLES?

I actually legitimately regret not at least recording my reactions to this cutscene. I had to pause it several times in complete disbelief.
 
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AshburnerX

AshburnerX

On FF13..

The Villain: The "real" villain of this story is supposed to be the "system" that kept the humans on Cocoon years after Pulse was cleaned of human life and would have been safe... not to mention the basically "religious" methods used by both Pulse and Cocoon to force humans into compliance. The reason why the final boss falls completely flat is that the game makers really didn't offer a compelling reason as to why the people of Pulse and Cocoon turned to these powers to begin with (unless it's stuff in that fucking wiki they have in their own game) so the party eventually rebelling against them feels pointless (they'd have to do it anyway, they were about to die).

On Alexander: Yeah... he should have turned into a train or something. Instead he turns into a "fortress" officially. I think it would have actually been funny if Hope had just transformed Alexander into that thing across the entire pod-racing thing and you just get a full minute of idiots crashing to their deaths against it.

On the sequels... man, I don't even know where to start? They are all kinda bad in their own ways. It's not surprising that Yoshi P got elected to the board after he saved the fucking company with FF14.
 
Frank

Frank

I hope I'm coming to the end of this game. I know I'm probably not but good God.

I think I would rather play Triple Triad with random rules spread everywhere forever in hell than keep playing.

I am a sucker for sunk cost fallacy.
 
Frank

Frank

More gripes, the system for weapons is dogshit. At no point is a new weapon exciting. Never. It would take three hundred years of grinding to make any new weapon anywhere close to as good as THE VERY FIRST WEAPON IN THE GAME EACH CHARACTER CAME WITH after you've upgraded any of them AT ALL. Lazy, lazy horseshit. How do you manage to make new weapons boring? Why bother even having new weapons? They all upgrade to the EXACT SAME ultimate weapon that apparently takes 67 trillion gil worth of materials that you can spend 200 hours gathering. Why though? Nothing in this game warrants it. There's probably some shitty ultimate boss somewhere but you couldn't make me find out even if you held a gun to each of my testicles.
 
Frank

Frank

I just beat it. What an amazingly shitty end to the game.

YOU MUST KILL ME!

NO, WE WON'T!

I WILL!

OK WE WILL!

LET'S KILL IT!

Well, now that it's dead, what do we do? I dunno, let's get the lesbians to turn into a 100 armed fire monster and save the day and die-ish. Everyone is happy.

There's like 5 whole minutes of silent clip show of all the events throughout the game. It was boring, like literally everything else.

This is without a doubt the worst game I've played in years. The final dungeon was unforgivably shitty. Walk up to spinning angel thing. It rearranges the room. Rinse and repeat 7 fucking times. Fight 3 EXTREMELY forgettable minibosses. Last boss. The end. See how many enemies we can reuse. I swear to God, there's 10 enemy models reskinned 11000 times. How many fucking behemoth variants can they stick in the game that ALL FIGHT IDENTICALLY. There's at least a dozen, maybe more. Everyone involved in the production of it should be sealed away in big bank vault or something and dropped to the bottom of the Marianna Trench which will, in the words of Secretary of Defense Jon Voigt, "Crush and entomb them forever."

I can't believe after so many years of development that anyone could have been happy with what they produced there. It's so fucking boring and long and padded and bereft of ANYTHING that made Final Fantasies fun. Fuck, they even hide riding a chocobo (not that there's ANY reason to, other than to wander a barren wasteland wanting you to do busy work for stuff you'll never need or use). It's so actual content light that it's an actual embarrassment.

That Square dude that created Lightning and is in absolute love with her is fucking deranged. He should never be allowed near video game development ever. How does he still have a job?

I remember when this game came out people were claiming it gets good after 30 hours or whatever. That's a lie. A bald faced lie. At no point does it improve or become interesting or compelling in any way. It's hallway after hallway with fights that are only ever frustrating because they sneak in enemies that can one shot your main character (a continuously baffling choice to make it so the other characters can't raise you) if you aren't paying attention, which you aren't, because this shit is autopilot 99.9% of the time.

TLDR: I hated this piece of shit and everyone involved should be ashamed they were ever born.
 
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Dave

Dave

Staff member
Every time I play a game I hate...I stop playing it. I would never get to the end of a game I loath most of the way through.
 
AshburnerX

AshburnerX

Nomura designed Lightning (and visually, her design is fine) but she was created by Motomu Toriyama, who was the director of such games as...

- FF X-2 (This ones dumb, but it's at least fun)
- FF12 Revenant Wings
- Blood of Bahamut (this never saw a US release)
- FF13
- FF13-2
- Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy
- Mobius Final Fantasy

He also wrote the plot for or otherwised supervised plot/events for...

- Bahamut Lagoon (This is fun)
- FF7 (He did the Submarine part)
- FFX
- Dissidia
- Front Mission Evolved (so he ruined this series too)
- The 3rd Birthday (And this one. The plot of Parasite Eve: The 3rd Birthday is AGONIZINGLY stupid.)

He's part of Business Division 1 (so he works on all MAINLINE FF games) and part of the board for continuing use of that franchise, however.
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

Frank said:
I mean, who has an 8K monitor? If you have one of those, you can probably afford a 2500 dollar video card.
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No argument there, my biggest complaint is that if things like "Needs 16GB VRAM" start becoming the norm, even the "PC Master Race" people are going to be divided between the 6-8core, non-RTX plebs and the 16-32core, RTX Ti Super bourgeois and their ivory towers.

--Patrick
 
Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

PatrThom said:
That's getting to be most games these days.
Want to play Control at 8K resolution? It'll let you, but it'll also use 18.5GB of VRAM.
Know how many video cards have that much VRAM? Just ONE...oh, and it's US$2500.

--Patrick
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As a PC Gaming Master Race enthusiast myself, I can tell you that very few 'gamers' are going to want to play that at 8K resolution, with 2K being far more common, or 4K on the very high end. But the important part here is that I -can- choose to run it at 8K if I want to, and that's the important part, damnit!

Also, allowing a game to scale beyond what the current tech typically allows also lets future consoles and machines make benefit of it.
 
AshburnerX

AshburnerX

Ravenpoe said:
Also, allowing a game to scale beyond what the current tech typically allows also lets future consoles and machines make benefit of it.
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Yeah, I'm fully expecting Remedy is planning to take advantage of future sales of the game by hyping this feature. "You can run in 8k now? Control plays in 8k! Only $10!"
 
DarkAudit

DarkAudit

So this sim divorced her husband and became the girlfriend of mine, the father of her three kids. Moved in on thanksgiving. Had another baby on Christmas Eve. Married on Christmas Day. Died of laughter the next day. His and their daughter’s birthday.

Beware the goofball trait.
 
Frank

Frank

Boy, despite that I'm financially garbage right now, all the antics of big publishers sure make it easier to not spend money on video games.

At this point you couldn't pay me to play Borderlands 3.

Spend your limited time and bucks on good stuff, like the weird psuedo-religious misery fest Blasphemous, which is awesome, if you're into to gorgeous sprite work, Metroidvaniaesque gameplay with the current obligatory Souls-like combat (deliberate, timing based). The game is so "edgy" and "metal" in it's depictions of all the twisted Catholic stuff that I personally find it hilarious. I don't know how self-aware it is about this stuff, but it's so self-serious that it's hard not to giggle at.
 
Frank

Frank

I wish ANY other company had made River City Girls other than Wayforward. I hate their brawlers. They all suffer from the same stilted, trapped in animation garbage. You can see an enemy running at you from across the screen and there is nothing you can do about them kicking you down. You'll be trapped in an animation for so long that you're fucked. You can accidentally grab an enemy that's staggered and know you're going to get the shit kicked out of you because the quickest you can get out of that animation is to throw them and that takes 2+ seconds where you have no control and you are completely vulnerable. There is a block, but if you're already getting hit, it doesn't do anything and you can't block while you're in the middle of other animations.

God damn it Wayforward. WHY ARE YOUR GAMES LIKE THIS? Why is Final Fight a more free flowing smoother experience? IT'S 30 YEARS OLD. Same with Streets of Rage or any other classic example of the genre.

The humour and style and everything else is great. I HATE the game the same way I hated Double Dragon Neon and Bloodrayne.
 
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