[Movies] Talk about the last movie you saw 2: Electric Threadaloo
- Thread starter Dave
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Oh I'm two steps ahead of you, buddy.
Godzilla vs Kong
Ok so actual war criminal Millie Bobby Brown is just in high school as if she didn't play a major part of the world's worst disaster since the meteorite that killed the dinosaurs.
We got a deaf girl playing with King Kong but they shot harambee.
And one of our protagonists is a conspiracy nut who doesn't drink tap water because of fluoride and also it's 2021.
OFF TO A GREAT START GUYS!
Lengthy recap :
Ok so War Crimes 11 joins up with Q anon who, sidebar, would for sure have been discovered by Apex for his podcast. Their whole point in the movie is to get us to mechagodzilla so we can have a third act villain. Also a fat kid is there so we have a comic relief and it's not just a grown ass man running around with highschool girl.
Meanwhile on skull Island we have Lady scientist meeting with Dude scientist and they're not sure what to do about Kong because if they let him out of this giant dome they built around him (somehow?!?) Then him and Godzilla will fight and kill one another and that puts an end to this cinematic universe pretty damn quick so can't have that!
So they want to take Kong to Antarctica where they done gone made a hole into the hollow earth because there's a source of energy down there that no one is making money off of, which is the real monster all along.
But humans can't get to hollow earth because....gravity be weird like that. Except apex built a toy merchandise tie in that CAN do gravity so it's time to put a monkey on a big ship and hope for the best!
So at this point we don't have use for team Godzilla so we cram them into a box that can't be opened until the end of the 2nd act.
Kong is on a ship feeling sad and oh yeah can sign words which somehow the scientist who spent the last 10 years of her life studying Kong didn't notice. Godzilla shows up as one does and the two fight. Godzilla wins and knocks Kong out but doesn't kill him, because franchise, but fucking mean mugs him from the water which was hilarious. Like I swear I heard him say "punk ass bitch" as he swam away.
So team Kong has to air lift him because reasons the rest of the way. They get to the hole and King Kong, notoriously bad with falls, fuckin jumps down to the center of the earth and just like... Grabs a ledge before he hits bottom. The two scientists and deaf girl get inside a few UFOs and follow and of course one of the three gets absolutely ganked immediately upon entering hollow earth. Thank god a named character wasn't in that one, huh?
So kong leads him back to his, I shit you not, castle. He finds an ax made of a Godzilla back spike and a bone and Kong has officially reached his final form
So evil corporate lady takes a test tube size sample of this power source and the two protagonist scientists start freaking out "you can't strip mine this!" Like, lady it's a sample. So evil lady does the 2nd dumbest thing in her life and pulls guns on deaf girl literally within eyesight of king Kong. So he freaks out but lucky so do giant bats/buzzards so she makes off with the sample along with the only surviving pilot. Godzilla, meanwhile, sensed all this from hong Kong so he DRILLS TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH WITH HIS ATOMIC BREATH IN MINUTES. Kong and Zilla are looking down at each other from a hole literally thousands of miles long just screaming at each other
"I said biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!"
So evil corporate lady does the 1st dumbest thing in her life and while trying to make for the tunnel to the surface orders the pilot to shoot Kong because he's in the way.
Not go around him or something but shoot him.
So anyway she died. Like immediately after her plot is done they kill her off because we got to cut this budget somewhere!
So kong V Zilla round 2 and long story short Kong wins.
Now, I'll admit I watch these at work and sometimes have to look away to do..work. but in the time it took me to refill the coffee machine round 3 happens and Godzilla wins and king Kong is dying.
Meanwhile team Godzilla finally has something to do and that's immediately get captured after discovering mechagodzilla. Evil corporate guy explains his master plan and they realize that they're using two of the recovered heads of Ghidorah to build and pilot mechagodzilla.
Remember in Pacific Rim, when the scientist drifts with the alien brain and it takes over his mind? That. Exactly that happens. Kong Ghidorah takes over the pilot and is just fully free in mechagodzilla. Mechagodzilla continues to start curb stomping fleshGodzilla.
So the useless scientist who hasn't done shit this whole movie:
1) figures out how to pilot these highly experimental aircrafts they used to get to hallow earth
2) figure out how to Jerry rig it's battery to Kong to shock him back to life.
Because if something is dying from say, a series of lacerations and blunt force trauma you just gotta yell CLEAR! And hit them with some jumper cables to make them better.
So the deaf girl tells Kong that Godzilla, the guy who whooped his ass twice for the fun of it, is a good guy and the real monster was mechagodzilla the whole time.
Kong and skinzilla tag team robozilla and end up just kinda....nodding and screaming at each other. They hate each other but God damnit do they respect each other.
But Kong does drop his axe to show he doesn't want to fight so I'm counting that as a tap out. Godzilla 3 Kong 1.
Deaf girl and eleven stand next to each other despite going the whole movie unaware of the others existence. It's a nice moment.
Cut to Kong in the hallow earth being studied by the scientists and deaf girl despite this being the literally most dangerous place ever.
You could have cut at least 4 characters from this film and lost nothing
Meanwhile on skull Island we have Lady scientist meeting with Dude scientist and they're not sure what to do about Kong because if they let him out of this giant dome they built around him (somehow?!?) Then him and Godzilla will fight and kill one another and that puts an end to this cinematic universe pretty damn quick so can't have that!
So they want to take Kong to Antarctica where they done gone made a hole into the hollow earth because there's a source of energy down there that no one is making money off of, which is the real monster all along.
But humans can't get to hollow earth because....gravity be weird like that. Except apex built a toy merchandise tie in that CAN do gravity so it's time to put a monkey on a big ship and hope for the best!
So at this point we don't have use for team Godzilla so we cram them into a box that can't be opened until the end of the 2nd act.
Kong is on a ship feeling sad and oh yeah can sign words which somehow the scientist who spent the last 10 years of her life studying Kong didn't notice. Godzilla shows up as one does and the two fight. Godzilla wins and knocks Kong out but doesn't kill him, because franchise, but fucking mean mugs him from the water which was hilarious. Like I swear I heard him say "punk ass bitch" as he swam away.
So team Kong has to air lift him because reasons the rest of the way. They get to the hole and King Kong, notoriously bad with falls, fuckin jumps down to the center of the earth and just like... Grabs a ledge before he hits bottom. The two scientists and deaf girl get inside a few UFOs and follow and of course one of the three gets absolutely ganked immediately upon entering hollow earth. Thank god a named character wasn't in that one, huh?
So kong leads him back to his, I shit you not, castle. He finds an ax made of a Godzilla back spike and a bone and Kong has officially reached his final form
So evil corporate lady takes a test tube size sample of this power source and the two protagonist scientists start freaking out "you can't strip mine this!" Like, lady it's a sample. So evil lady does the 2nd dumbest thing in her life and pulls guns on deaf girl literally within eyesight of king Kong. So he freaks out but lucky so do giant bats/buzzards so she makes off with the sample along with the only surviving pilot. Godzilla, meanwhile, sensed all this from hong Kong so he DRILLS TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH WITH HIS ATOMIC BREATH IN MINUTES. Kong and Zilla are looking down at each other from a hole literally thousands of miles long just screaming at each other
"I said biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!"
So evil corporate lady does the 1st dumbest thing in her life and while trying to make for the tunnel to the surface orders the pilot to shoot Kong because he's in the way.
Not go around him or something but shoot him.
So anyway she died. Like immediately after her plot is done they kill her off because we got to cut this budget somewhere!
So kong V Zilla round 2 and long story short Kong wins.
Now, I'll admit I watch these at work and sometimes have to look away to do..work. but in the time it took me to refill the coffee machine round 3 happens and Godzilla wins and king Kong is dying.
Meanwhile team Godzilla finally has something to do and that's immediately get captured after discovering mechagodzilla. Evil corporate guy explains his master plan and they realize that they're using two of the recovered heads of Ghidorah to build and pilot mechagodzilla.
Remember in Pacific Rim, when the scientist drifts with the alien brain and it takes over his mind? That. Exactly that happens. Kong Ghidorah takes over the pilot and is just fully free in mechagodzilla. Mechagodzilla continues to start curb stomping fleshGodzilla.
So the useless scientist who hasn't done shit this whole movie:
1) figures out how to pilot these highly experimental aircrafts they used to get to hallow earth
2) figure out how to Jerry rig it's battery to Kong to shock him back to life.
Because if something is dying from say, a series of lacerations and blunt force trauma you just gotta yell CLEAR! And hit them with some jumper cables to make them better.
So the deaf girl tells Kong that Godzilla, the guy who whooped his ass twice for the fun of it, is a good guy and the real monster was mechagodzilla the whole time.
Kong and skinzilla tag team robozilla and end up just kinda....nodding and screaming at each other. They hate each other but God damnit do they respect each other.
But Kong does drop his axe to show he doesn't want to fight so I'm counting that as a tap out. Godzilla 3 Kong 1.
Deaf girl and eleven stand next to each other despite going the whole movie unaware of the others existence. It's a nice moment.
Cut to Kong in the hallow earth being studied by the scientists and deaf girl despite this being the literally most dangerous place ever.
You could have cut at least 4 characters from this film and lost nothing
They sent a file from the center of the earth but I got zero bars from my bathroom.
figmentPez
Staff member
The Girl With All the Gifts
This is my third time watching this one. An underappreciated gem. Lost in an overload of other zombie movies, I guess. Not especially gory or scary. Not heavily advertised. It's more thoughtful and isn't a typical horror movie. Even the humans aren't the villains. It is very thought provoking, and the book it's based on is even better. I'm kinda sad the movie didn't do better, I would have liked to see the prequel novel "The Boy on the Bridge" made into a movie as well. I don't want to spoil, but the ending to "The Girl..." feels like a complete story, while the ending to "The Boy..." compliments it in a way that feels necessary, but only in hindsight.
I highly recommend watching, and going in as blind as possible. And/or read the book, which is excellent.
EDIT: Apparently I watch this movie every 3 years and post about it here. I think it's past time for me to re-read the book.
This is my third time watching this one. An underappreciated gem. Lost in an overload of other zombie movies, I guess. Not especially gory or scary. Not heavily advertised. It's more thoughtful and isn't a typical horror movie. Even the humans aren't the villains. It is very thought provoking, and the book it's based on is even better. I'm kinda sad the movie didn't do better, I would have liked to see the prequel novel "The Boy on the Bridge" made into a movie as well. I don't want to spoil, but the ending to "The Girl..." feels like a complete story, while the ending to "The Boy..." compliments it in a way that feels necessary, but only in hindsight.
I highly recommend watching, and going in as blind as possible. And/or read the book, which is excellent.
EDIT: Apparently I watch this movie every 3 years and post about it here. I think it's past time for me to re-read the book.
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The Marvels
It’s not a perfect film, but it was better than quite a few of the entries this phase. It is a fun film overall with some entertaining quirkiness; such as a planet with a very unique form of language, and a nutty station evacuation scene. One of the film’s faults is an unmemorable villain.
It’s not a perfect film, but it was better than quite a few of the entries this phase. It is a fun film overall with some entertaining quirkiness; such as a planet with a very unique form of language, and a nutty station evacuation scene. One of the film’s faults is an unmemorable villain.
FNAF cost $25 million to make. It has made $252 million according to Box Office Mojo, despite middling reviews. I'd say that movie fucking killed it at least. But yes, everything else has done poorly.
Movie studios today:
"We could make a movie for $2million that pulls in $32million and call it good."
"NO! We must spend $100MILLION to ensure a BLOCKBUSTER and if it looks like it's not going to make at LEAST $250million then we're going to cancel its release and write it off as a FAILURE."
"...right."
--Patrick
"We could make a movie for $2million that pulls in $32million and call it good."
"NO! We must spend $100MILLION to ensure a BLOCKBUSTER and if it looks like it's not going to make at LEAST $250million then we're going to cancel its release and write it off as a FAILURE."
"...right."
--Patrick
When I read your comments, I decided to watch the movie, thinking it would be in a "it's fun because it's a bad movie" kind of way. I only made it a half hour. It could use a couple of robots and a guy trapped in a satellite to make it watchable.
I found the villain vanilla as well but I actually did enjoy her performance. I think it is because the heroes were so much larger than life and that the writers didn't give the villain too much to work with in the script. I went in expecting it to be goofy and funny and found that was the case!
Also:
It seems like they are teasing a Young Avengers movie. They teased possibly Cassie from Ant-Man (as Stature?) in addition to Ms. Marvel and Kate Bishop as Hawkeye. Who else? Skaar and Ironheart come to mind, as both have made at least an on-screen appearance. Spider-Man would be a possibility as well, actually. I suppose they could introduce someone in Deadpool 3 as well.
Kid Loki as well and if they ever bring back Wiccan and Speed.
Edit:
And depending on how deep we want to go, Patriot potentially was intro'd in Falcon and Winter Soldier via Eli Bradley, Isaiah Bradley's grandson. Also America Chavez who I totally forgot about.
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I know I'm in the minority but damn I thought love and thunder was great. Bale fuckin' killed it.
I thought Love and Thunder was fine, but it just didn't hit the same emotional highs & lows as Ragnarok. It's like they were trying to recapture that same feeling, but the chemistry/plot points didn't gel as well. I liked Natalie getting to wield the hammer, I like Taika's version of Thor, I think Bale is a good actor. Maybe there were too many things going on, so it made it hard to get into the real heart of the story.
I think Bale's performance was so good that he thought he was in a different movie. Natalie Portman also gave a great performance, but I found the story so weak that both of these great performances feel wasted. It felt to me like they went into this movie without a plan or a plot and just winged it, and the ending felt shallow and unearned.
But you are correct, Bale was a great villain
The Marvels
My biggest complaint is that I had to wait until now to see this. It was so fun! I love the effect of them switching places during fights and battles. But I do agree that while well-acted, the villain wasn't one of the best.
As for speculation on that OTHER teaser
EDIT: Forgot something in the second spoiler!
My biggest complaint is that I had to wait until now to see this. It was so fun! I love the effect of them switching places during fights and battles. But I do agree that while well-acted, the villain wasn't one of the best.
Every musical number in this film had me giggling. The Cats scene was amazing. And I was NOT expecting Aladna. I mean, I remember glimpses from the trailer, but I didn't think that would be the end result. Kamala rocking out like it's every Bollywood film she's seen is perfection. I loved them as a team, and I'm very sorry Monica got flung into the multiverse, X-Men surprises not withstanding.
As for speculation on that OTHER teaser
I know she's being recruited for the Thunderbolts right now, but I feel like Yelena is going to end up on NuAvengers. They're not going to waste Florence Pugh. That, and she had too much chemistry with Kate B. And I personally love that it looks like the next Avengers are going to be very women-heavy.
EDIT: Oh, I forgot Shang-Chi! He's battle-ready!
EDIT: Oh, I forgot Shang-Chi! He's battle-ready!
EDIT: Forgot something in the second spoiler!
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Saw Onyx the Fortuitous last night.
It's not nearly as goofy as I thought it was going to be, but it's definitely got goofiness just because of the nature of the main character. The trailers all seemed to play up that goofiness, but between those moments, there's a lot of heart in the movie. I actually enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would.
It's not nearly as goofy as I thought it was going to be, but it's definitely got goofiness just because of the nature of the main character. The trailers all seemed to play up that goofiness, but between those moments, there's a lot of heart in the movie. I actually enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would.
Just got home from seeing The Marvels with my girlfriend.
We had a lot of fun with it. Iman Vellani absolutely stole the show, but the movie as a whole was fun. Had some issues with the editing, as it's clear a lot was edited out for time.
The villain was mostly one-note, but the actress did well with what she had to work with.
Overall, I'd say around 6/10ish. It's not the worst MCU movie by a long shot, but not one of the better ones, either. It was a perfectly acceptable, fun time.
We had a lot of fun with it. Iman Vellani absolutely stole the show, but the movie as a whole was fun. Had some issues with the editing, as it's clear a lot was edited out for time.
The villain was mostly one-note, but the actress did well with what she had to work with.
Overall, I'd say around 6/10ish. It's not the worst MCU movie by a long shot, but not one of the better ones, either. It was a perfectly acceptable, fun time.
Star Trek V The Final Frontier
HYUP, caved, needed to see it, FANTASTICALLY dumb movie. Star Wars bars, fan dances, random romance, secret brothers, "What does god need with a space ship?" friggin wild.
HYUP, caved, needed to see it, FANTASTICALLY dumb movie. Star Wars bars, fan dances, random romance, secret brothers, "What does god need with a space ship?" friggin wild.
YES, my god they only exist to give a random gun to kill Not-God with, SO dumb!
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts
Not as good as Bumblebee, which set the bar for live action Transformers movies, but still better than any other TF movie by a wide margin. I think my expectations for the big finale were set too high, though. I heard a lot of great things about it. And while it was fun, I thought it was just fine. Nothing bad, just nothing spectacular. Some clever moments, especially involving the main human character, but not jaw-dropping awesome as I'd hoped.
But yeah, overall, it was fun. Nothing award winning, but not every movie needs to be.
Not as good as Bumblebee, which set the bar for live action Transformers movies, but still better than any other TF movie by a wide margin. I think my expectations for the big finale were set too high, though. I heard a lot of great things about it. And while it was fun, I thought it was just fine. Nothing bad, just nothing spectacular. Some clever moments, especially involving the main human character, but not jaw-dropping awesome as I'd hoped.
But yeah, overall, it was fun. Nothing award winning, but not every movie needs to be.
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It's just Soundwave grooving to his own tunes for 2 and a half hours.They made a Transformers Musical? I can't wait!
figmentPez
Staff member
They made a Transformers Musical? I can't wait!
The lesson is: don't let Shatner direct.
Or, LET him direct, and have Rifftrax do their thing!
Because that film...was just a BEAUTIFUL brand of stupid!
I may be part of a small group here, but I think Star Trek 5 was still better than Insurrection.
Wish
For a film being marketed as the 100 years of Disney flagship, it is disappointing in the sense we didn’t get something more impressive. It’s a by the numbers Disney animated fantasy film. It has a few catchy songs and is entertaining enough. Hailey says it’s on her top 10 movies list which is wonderful. I’m of the mindset that it’s just OK enough that I’m going to forget about it quickly
For a film being marketed as the 100 years of Disney flagship, it is disappointing in the sense we didn’t get something more impressive. It’s a by the numbers Disney animated fantasy film. It has a few catchy songs and is entertaining enough. Hailey says it’s on her top 10 movies list which is wonderful. I’m of the mindset that it’s just OK enough that I’m going to forget about it quickly
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