Bad Jokes

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A NECK-tarine!

Nina lives in the heart of NYC. She's a little different from most of her friends, much to her roommate's chagrin, because she has a desire of dating ONLY musicians in the NY Philharmonic, even though there is not a stitch of musicality in her body.

It's Monday night. She is getting ready to go on a date with the principle trumpeter of the NYPO when her roommate wishes her a good evening, knowing that if the evening goes well, she won't be returning until dawn. After three hours, Nina returns slightly exasperated. The roommate asks Nina why she's returned so early and Nina replies, "Geeze, that's the last time I date a trumpeter. His lips were so thin, I could barely kiss him! I'm going to bed now, have a date with the principle tuba player tomorrow night!"

It's now Tuesday. At 6 o'clock the tuba playing chap picks Nina up for dinner. Once again, Nina returns earlier then expected. Curious, her roommate once again asks what happened. "God... enough with tuba players. His lips were so loose, he kept slobbering all over me for our goodnight kiss. Going to bed now, have a date with a French horn player tomorrow night!"

Wednesday night rolls around and Nina is picked up by her date. Apparently the date was a success because she didn't come home until the next morning. When asked how well her date went, Nina replied, "Meh, his lips were thin, just like the trumpet guy, but I loved the way he held me!"

Guys, I am so bad at typing out jokes. It's better to hear this one than to read it!
 
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kevin91

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a boogie in it!


There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten
different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did
 
P

Pojodan

A preist, a rabbi, and a clergyman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "What, is this some sort of joke?"
 
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