Cesspool

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ThatNickGuy

For the next week, I'm looking after a friend of mine's place (one bedroom apartment), or more specifically, their two cats. I went over there after work...

...and the place was a fucking cesspool. Let's go through the list:

-Bottles (sometimes not even empty) all over the place; the floor, on counters, around the bed, etc.

-An entire entertainment center FILLED with dirty plates, old dried food, stacks of papers plates and at least a dozen or more takeout containers, still with some food in it.

-McDonald's cups, some with pop still in them them, where the pop has rotted through the cup partly and it's near soggy and sticking to the surface.

-A cat litter that I'm near certain hasn't been cleaned in WEEKS.

-Clothes all over the place.

And the worst?

-I picked up a couple of dishes out the sink, just to organize all the dishes into one place. When I lifted them out, there was soggy cat food in the sink...

...surrounded by maggots.

Seriously, how can ANYONE live in those kind of conditions? WHY would anyone even choose to live in those conditions? I just...I can't comprehend it. I'm not the tidiest person, myself, but just...why? How? How? Why? I can't...I feel like I'm in shellshock or something from this.

There were bugs flying all over the place, ants crawling on the floor. And like I said, fucking maggots.

I'm going to talk to them when they get home. I actually asked my friend if I cleaned up their place a bit and he said he'd pay me. After seeing maggots, I'm thinking of asking for more than whatever he's planning on paying.
 
Yep, unfortunately, I know some people like that, too. My aunt, for one. Honestly, christmas parties are at my mother's, my aunts', or my aunt's (yes, that's intentional). When it's at my aunt's, we all always despair. Honestly, if you're having the whole family over...CLEAN UP A BIT. And I'm talking maggots, dishes in the toilet bowl, the dog psising in the sink and shitting under table, and on and on. Yeah, no fun there.
 
If all you have to do is make sure the cats stay alive, do just that, leave everything else alone. Payment (or request of payment) between friends rarely works out well in the long run.
 

ElJuski

Staff member
Yeah, why are you dealing with their mess? Take care of their cats, and don't worry about how disgusting their lives are. You ain't their mom, brosef goebels
 
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ThatNickGuy

It's part of my nature, I guess. I'm not necessarily a neat freak, but if I see garbage that needs to be thrown out, I throw it out. And this place is a pigsty.

If they were anyone but my closest friends, I'd have half a mind to call the SPCA.
 
really though, if you clean for them they won't exactly learn anything. Whatever they pay you is going to be far less than what a professional maid would charge. Then they're just going to let it go to hell again after you've cleaned it up for them.

Really, they probably won't wise up until whoever their renting form evicts them.
 
P

Pojodan

Ugh.

Worst experience I had was living with my sister and her ex-husband a few years ago.

They're method of handling milk jugs was waiting till there was about 1/4 cup left in the jug, then to toss is behind the never-used dining room table.

I lived there for a few weeks, trying my best to ignore them and the monsterous stack of pizza boxes till I finally just couldn't stand it anymore and set about disposing of them.

Now, they lived on the 3rd floor of an apartment with no elevator, so I was going to compact them as much as I could, all 20+ jugs there were, so I could stuff them into 1-2 sacks and make one trip out of it.

The smell of months-old rotten milk is one of the worst odors there is, and despite doing the jug crushing on the porch during a windstorm, I was gagging so hard I could barely finish.
 
Man, I've let places get pretty dirty in my time, but that's worse than anything I've ever lived in (all of the above - seriously? dishes in the toilet bowl?!) by far. The worst I've had in recent memory is a fruit fly problem brought on by leaving town for a weekend and not noticing before we left that there was a bit of an apple that didn't make in the disposal.
 
I like fruit flies. They let you know there's a problem and something is left out somewhere that shouldn't be then when you find it and get rid of it, they disappear. They're like nature's warning system.
 
I have a question about that.

My mother just redid her entire kitchen, everything was taken out and the walls were repainted and everything. She's also a very clean and tidy person by nature.

Just one day after it was cleaned, there were hundreds of fruit flies in a corner, near a plastic plant. We've looked, other people have looked. we've moved the oven, fridge, everything. There's nothing there. The place is spotless and clean.

My question.. Why are they there??
That's a good question. The answer is LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!
 

North_Ranger

Staff member
Oh man, deja vu about my psycho ex... She was exactly like that.

Some examples, if you will:
-When I visited her studio apartment once, the whole apartment's floor was covered with an ankle-thick layer of various... things. Rumpled rugs, pieces of furniture, pizzaboxes, a broken mirror, even some milk cartons.
- On the table was a whole fried chicken you could buy from the supermarket nearby. It was half-eaten, dried up... and when I looked at the date on the label, it had been there FOR SIX MONTHS.
- She never took care of her money issues: in fact, one time we were cleaning up at her place, she actually found a decent amount of coins all over the place.
- She never washed her underwear. Instead, she used them until they got dirty, then bought new ones.
- Trash bins were alien things to her: because of her eating disorder, she might wake up in the middle of the night, and if she was visiting me, she'd go and pick a deepfrozen soup from the fridge, heat it up and eat it. In the morning, there would always be the empty carton in the sink, JUST ABOVE THE TRASH BIN.
- Many of her books were rumpled and almost destroyed because she claimed she had read them in the bath tub. I don't know if I can believe her...
- When she moved to a new place, the disorder followed. She had also gotten crazy for potted plants, so there were opened bags of gardening soil all over the place. Instead of opening them neatly she would rip open the side of the 20-pound bag, stuff some soil into the pots... and leave the grotesquely opened bag lying on the floor.
- Also, her eating disorder apparently made it so that she never pooped. Never did she have toilet paper in her place. Never.
- Her pet dog was not much better. Apparently it was never toilet trained, because the smell of dog piss just hung over the apartment - and whenever she took the dog over, the little bitch (the dog, I mean) would go and piss and poop on a carpet. I eventually had to throw the carpet away because it looked like two quarts of Mountain Dew had been poured on it.
 
E

elph

Hire a maid service under his name. Since it's his house, it'll become his problem to pay them when he gets back. See if you can find one that'll bill instead of asking payment up front (good luck with that from the sounds of it).
 
M

meyoumeyou

Sadly, I've lived in comparable conditions...

...shared a place with a cousin for a few months time years back. He pretty much left any fast food (and yeah, we lived on the stuff) wherever it landed when he finished it.

Also, he had a pit bull who lived in the house 24/7 that whole winter, and he would simply close the doors to the kitchen/dining room and leave her there to deposit puddles and piles of pure hell all over the floor. These got cleaned maybe, once a week, when his g/f came by. Nothing like debating whether you are thirsty enough for it to be worth the effort of attempting to hurdle the messes between the kitchen door and the fridge.

Me being the much too stubborn person I am, I flat refused to clean up after any of his messes. Outside of walking the dog as much as possible it all went unchecked unless someone else stopped by to take care of it for him. It was horrific at times.

One lasting impact from it all, I used to enjoy Pico de gallo with mexican food, now it seems disgusting. A plate of something covered in the stuff was apparently buried somewhere in the living room, and whenever the central air would kick on the smell of the rotting stuff would linger just enough to fill the room.
 
T

ThatNickGuy

Suprisingly enough, the cats are actually just fine. If anything, they look a little OVERfed, but not unhealthily. Just a little thick.
 
A

Andromache

seriously, this thread is good thinspiration.

remember kids, dirty minds, clean houses. eeesh.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Once a couple years ago, some of us family members tried to do a nice thing and clean the kitchen in my parents' house. It was full of boxes and stacks of paper and other just various random things that never got put away. This rendered the kitchen unusable for anyone looking to actually prepare food in it. We thought we'd do a good turn by helping clean it all up and organize it so it became a functional kitchen again.

My stepmother didn't appreciate it, to put it lightly. In fact, she was angered we went messing with her stuff. By the next time I went to visit, 7 or so months later, the kitchen was once again rendered unusable, and was restocked with fresh claptrap.

There may be a lesson here, or not. Take what you will from this story.
 
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ThatNickGuy

Yeah, I doubt it's going to last, but at the very least, I went back today and did some more cleaning.

Their kitchen sink, all the dishes and the counter around it are spotless.
I filled one recycling bag and one garbage bag full of just garbage.
Carried two 24-packs of bottles, along with two cloth bags full of bottles about five blocks to the Beer Store and got money. Gonna spend it on cat desperately needed cat litter.

I highly doubt it's going to change them, honestly. The only stuff I'm throwing out are empty bottles, expired bags of chips, various empty wrappers, garbage, etc. It's nuts.
 
L

lafftaff

Ick! My place can get cluttered sometimes, but I don't let it get dirty.

My sister paid me to clean her place, it wasn't as bad as some of the things ya'll have described, but it was gross. How hard is it to scrub a toliet!?

And I'm the same way, I know she'll learn nothing from my cleaning it but I couldn't resist. It's kinda sad.
 
C

Chibibar

My sister in law (my wife's sister) kinda lives like this when she live with my wife (g/f at the time) it was HORRIBLE. I can't stand it.

I am not the cleanest neat freak or anything but that is just plain ug. I vacuum the house at least 2 times a month. Always take out the garbage and never leave anything rotten anywhere.
 
My roommates were horrible when it came to trash and cleaning up after themselves. Not as bad as some of these posts, but probably could be if I wasn't there. I was also partly responsible, letting laziness get the best of me. Now that I've recently moved I'm taking the fresh start to ensure that it no longer goes beyond the point of no return. Buying a vacuum this weekend, I will make sure it is used.

A light cleaning once a week should keeping my Apt clean.
 
S

Skinny Santa

My cleaning habits are weird. I'll let stuff pile up for ages and then one day I'll forget my meds or something and clean my entire room in about an hour or less. Yay for psych meds??
 
It's been said before, but the solution to a lot of the situations described here would seem to be fire in generous amounts. I'm still debating whether or not you should let the owners leave first...

Nick, you're a better man than I. Holy crap.
 
If my apartment gets cluttered and dirty it makes me depressed. I will then let it get worse. So, I tend to be very proactive to keep things tidy or at least straighten things once a week, and do a whole apt cleaning once a month.

My sis and bro live much like some of the above people. It makes me sad. There house might actually be worth less when they try to sell it.
 
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