Describe your medical abnormalities

[Vytamindi]

Prehensile penis.

You poor bastard. Tsk tsk.


...


does that mean you can anally penetrate yourself?[/quote]

A few years ago I had an accident and lost my penis. The doctor transplanted an elephant's trunk.

The women love it but it always shoves peanuts up my ass.


[/QUOTE]

:humph:

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

Nothing abnormal health-wise. Except my eyes slowly and permanently changed color when I was a teenager from a deep brown to a dark green hazel.

 

[Denbrought]

To quote a song,

He says
Yeah you should
Wish you could
But the arms you got don't extend that good

For some reason they always stay bent, it's not really annoying unless brought up (or for reaching things far from me while trapped).

 

[GasBandit]

Prehensile penis.

You poor bastard. Tsk tsk.


...


does that mean you can anally penetrate yourself?[/quote]

A few years ago I had an accident and lost my penis. The doctor transplanted an elephant's trunk.

The women love it but it always shoves peanuts up my ass.


[/QUOTE]

You should have told the full version, it'd have gotten a real laugh, even from the man-hater crowd.

 

[Rob King]

I also have a Photic Sneeze Reflex, although I didn't know that that was what it was called, or that it wasn't normal until just now.

I also had this thing on my lower back a while ago, which was ... I don't really know what it was, actually. It was essentially a mutant pimple under my skin. Pressure would build up and it became excruciatingly painful. I ended up going to the emergency room after not being able to sit down for three days. They cut it open, drained it out, and I'm supposed to be fine now, although sometimes I get a light pain there which means it's probably not gone. I'm always afraid it will come back as hardcore as it was before.

I've only ever met one other person with it, and he spent a month in the hospital this summer because of it. His kept coming back over and over for three years, so he had surgery to take care of it. There's only a 20% success rate, and they won't know if it's gone for good or not until he goes ten years without a problem.

It's the most annoying problem in the world, it can be quite painful, and the worst thing is that it's not badass enough to impress people with.

EDIT: I want to call it a polynomial cyst, but I'm not certain that's what it's actually called.

EDIT2: Aah. It's called a Pilonidal Cyst. I found it on Wikipedia, but I'm not linking it because it's disgusting. You can look it up yourself if you care, but be warned: when I talk about it being on my lower back, I really mean 'in my asscrack'

 

[ZenMonkey]

Aside from the happy horseshit y'all know about, I have a tumor sticking out of my side. it's just a lipoma but it sticks out of my side. It's not visible but it's perfectly palpable and hurts sometimes and I fucking hate it. Surgery's an option but with my other issues I've decided against that.

 

[Simfers]

Both of my elbows bend backwards at roughly 30-40 degrees. I also have hyper-flexible shoulders, wrists and fingers. I can also do the splits, if that counts.

My jiu-jitsu partners hate me.

I'm also a bit overweight.

 

[phil]

If bein' awesome is a medical condition then I got a terminal case!


Also, shitty lungs as a kid due to thinking it would be a great idea to be born with water in them. That lead to many years or asthma inhalers and other things like that.

 

[Gurpel]

nerve damage in my right hand. i dont have much control over my ring or pinky fingers. basically this just means that i can't do the live long and prosper sign/throw the horns with that hand, so it's not like a hard to live with condition or anything.

 

[Hailey Knight]

Regular allergies to cat, dog, pollen, etc. Used to be less common when I was younger, but now it seems a lot of people have them.

I have a calcium deposit (basically a hunk of bone) under my skin. Probably going to get it taken care of in November. I've given it six years to go away on its own, but it's getting to be knifing time.

 

[Seraphyn]

I have Amblyopia or: 'Lazy Eye' and PDD-NOS, which is was diagnosed as a mild form of autism.

Not much else.

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

I didn't include my asthma, allergies, or eczema because they are pretty common problems. But yeah, I deal with all 3 of them. Didn't have problems with asthma until I was in my mid-twenties. Allergies have been a problem since I was a little kid. Eczema started when I was a few weeks old.

 

[Espy]

I moved back to Mn from San Fran in 2001. Never had allergies before. Moved here? ALLERGIES FROM HELL. Thankfully with Zyrtec they are all good. Not good enough that I can have a kitty though... :tear:

 

[Cheesy1]

On my fourth birthday, I was diagnosed with Leukemia. Was treated for that for about three years.

When I was 25, I was hit with Guillain-Barré Syndrome. It took about 4 months before all the numbness went away and I could walk completely normal again.

The rest of my problems are due to me being a lazy fat-ass.

 

[fade]

On my fourth birthday, I was diagnosed with Leukemia. Was treated for that for about three years.

When I was 25, I was hit with Guillain-Barré Syndrome. It took about 4 months before all the numbness went away and I could walk completely normal again.

A House favorite! It's in the Diseases That Must Be Mentioned Once Per Episode rotation (which I kind of think is supposed to be a backdoor way of increasing awareness, but that's just a theory). It's up there with amyloidosis and sarcoidosis.

 

[AshburnerX]

On my fourth birthday, I was diagnosed with Leukemia. Was treated for that for about three years.

When I was 25, I was hit with Guillain-Barré Syndrome. It took about 4 months before all the numbness went away and I could walk completely normal again.

A House favorite! It's in the Diseases That Must Be Mentioned Once Per Episode rotation (which I kind of think is supposed to be a backdoor way of increasing awareness, but that's just a theory). It's up there with amyloidosis and sarcoidosis.[/QUOTE]

You missed one.

 

[Cheesy1]

Give it time. In another 15 years or so I should be getting my next random disease.

 

[North_Ranger]

I have a calcium deposit (basically a hunk of bone) under my skin. Probably going to get it taken care of in November. I've given it six years to go away on its own, but it's getting to be knifing time.

Hmm... How big of a hunk are we talking about here? I'm just wondering, because such things might have possibilities when crafted into decorative ornaments.

Think how cool it would be if you could point at some knickknack and say "Yeah, that thing came outta me".

 

[ZenMonkey]

Damn this thread, every time I see it bumped to the top I become acutely aware of this bump on my side. Which for purely psychosomatic reasons is now hurting like hell.

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

I moved back to Mn from San Fran in 2001. Never had allergies before. Moved here? ALLERGIES FROM HELL. Thankfully with Zyrtec they are all good. Not good enough that I can have a kitty though... :tear:

Like you in reverse...
Back when I was living in NJ, I was allergic to strawberries. If I ate a few of them, my nose (the skin on the outside, not the inside) would tickle and itch like crazy. Moved to San Diego and suddenly I can eat strawberries without a problem.

 

[Calleja]

I was born without wisdom teeth. I'm not just saying that cause I'm 24 and haven't gotten one tiny protrusion from back there, I've had x-rays taken. Nothing.

I am an evolved species. My DNA decided wisdom teeth were a stupid thing and just eliminated them.

You can call me Homo Sapiens Sapiens Sapiens.

Also, been dealing with sinusitis all my life, which means I wake up every morning ready to throw the world's biggest loogie. Every. Morning. It also means I have the weakest sense of smell ever.

Does chronic insomnia count?

---------- Post added at 10:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:12 PM ----------

Oh yeah!

When I was like 15 I noticed that if I pressed my right ear lobe I could fill this hard round..thing inside. Completely non-visible, but very apparent to the touch.

Then a few months later I noticed it had grown. And then a bit more a few months after that. So I was finally taken to a doctor who decided it was a benign cyst but wanted it off anyway, so he cut my earlobe, extracted it, and gave me 3 stitches.

Now sometimes people notice the scar and ask if I had an earring. ¬¬

 

[JONJONAUG]

ADD, Aspergers, and a lazy eye.

Also, I eat pizza, McDonald's, Chinese food, or something else ungodly high in cholesterol and fat almost every day and have the cholesterol levels of a healthy person half my age, along with being slightly underweight.

 

[Philosopher B.]

I learned lately that I've apparently got Gilbert's Syndrome, which really means nothing other than I have a high bilirubin count which only showed up because I had blood-work done. I've got allergies, nothing horrible, at least not like my older brother, who sneezes like a goddamn moose. I can also jiggle my kneecaps and make them do a merry dance.

 

[meyoumeyou]

Would a third nipple count?

 

[ZenMonkey]

Would a third nipple count?

Yes.

It would go "One, two, three...oh shit, I'm on the wrong chest."

 

[meyoumeyou]

Would a third nipple count?

Yes.

It would go "One, two, three...oh shit, I'm on the wrong chest."[/QUOTE]

zing! I give you the all clear to repost that win button for yourself.

 

[Pojodan]

I'm a minor medical mystery, actually.

For several months I was having pain in my butt, quite literally, like a pinched nerve at the back of my pelvis. Made sitting down for long periods painful, which was a problem as I had a job that involved driving for 2-4 hours at a time then.

I went through a battery of tests, x-rays, and finally a CAT scan till they finally saw -something-. It was too fuzzy to make out, so I had to have a second CAT scan with contrast (was a lot less unpleasent than I thought it would be) and sent to a pelvic specialist to analyze the images.

Turns out, after much fear of cancer, that I simply have several abnormal cysts attached to my coccyx, also know as the tail-bone, which is actually several vestigial vertebrae that are fused together, a pass-over from when humans used to have tails. So odd was it that they actually had to come up with names for the individual bones since they don't have scientific names in order to describe it since there's several of them in different locations.

Seems when I sit on them they pinch the nerves and slowly cause pain over time, so I had to re-learn how to sit to avoid this and/or use heavy padding.

It's possible to remove them, but that area is so packed full of nerves that it'd be a very risky procedure and very, very costly, so I'm just living with it for now.

 

[Enresshou]

-My biggest one is that I have synesthesia; possibly two forms of it, actually. Words have a physical texture and sensation to me: the word 'shatter', for example, has a cold, hard feel that disintegrates at the 't'. The sensations never change, and--while certain words will drive me up a wall as a result--it's actually pretty useful since it helps me spell and remember words.

The other potential form is with sound, specifically music. I have a nearly eidetic memory for music due to it; such as, when I'm playing a drum beat, I'll remember exactly how it should go due to...I'm trying to think of a better way to put it, but it's a half-visualized cue. I'm not sure if it counts, though.

-I'm about 5'10", but my wingspan from fingertip to fingertip is almost 6'1".

-I have an eidetic memory for anything non-scholarly. As a result, I rule at Jeopardy.

-My left ear is pointy (like almost elf-pointy), but my right ear folds over on itself due to me having laid on it in the womb.

-Although I heal from cuts and such at a normal rate, I heal broken bones at an accelerated rate. I once knocked both bones off my ankle's growth pad (i.e. dislocated my foot from my leg), split the big one up the middle for an inch, and cracked the other one in half, and was able to walk on it with no pain after three weeks. The doctor was amazed.

-Near-superhuman resistance to morphine. The doctor gave me the standard dose for my weight (during the aforementioned broken leg, because they had to set the bone), which was eventually upped to more than twice the normal dose when I retained perfect clarity and was able to recite the Gettysburg address perfectly from memory.

 

[AshburnerX]

-My biggest one is that I have synesthesia; possibly two forms of it, actually. Words have a physical texture and sensation to me: the word 'shatter', for example, has a cold, hard feel that disintegrates at the 't'. The sensations never change, and--while certain words will drive me up a wall as a result--it's actually pretty useful since it helps me spell and remember words.

I don't know if this counts, but I react that way to certain textures or sounds. It's very annoying.

 

[Rob King]

Oh yeah!

When I was like 15 I noticed that if I pressed my right ear lobe I could fill this hard round..thing inside. Completely non-visible, but very apparent to the touch.

Then a few months later I noticed it had grown. And then a bit more a few months after that. So I was finally taken to a doctor who decided it was a benign cyst but wanted it off anyway, so he cut my earlobe, extracted it, and gave me 3 stitches.

Now sometimes people notice the scar and ask if I had an earring. ¬¬

Similarly (but much less interestingly) I have a freckle on my ear that makes people ask the same question.

 

[Ross]

Almost forgot about my hyper metabolism (self-diagnosed). I eat and drink just about whatever I want, when I want, and I've been around 153 lbs. +/- 5 for the last 6+ years (now age 23). I exercise on occasion, but not enough to keep this kind of metabolism going.

As a kind of side-effect of this hyper metabolism, my body gives off a lot of heat. This is good for cuddling situations :slywink:

I have an innate ability to see patterns. I see patterns in a lot of different places without thinking about it.

Also, I've noticed that I produce more mucus than the average person.

 

[Vytamindi]

I have a rash on the right side of my body only. It's from my shoulder all the way to my fingers and with a patch or two on mah boobeh.

WTF am I allergic to this late in life?!??!

 

[Le Quack]

When I was a child, I was hospitalized for intense asthma. I was in for about 3-4 months and they put me on a stimulant that gave me symptoms of ADHD. After I had grown out of it, I was back to normal.

I also have abnormal hearing. I can hear everything just fine, but low volumes get me. Around the pitches of human voices, my hearing takes a drop but not too sharply. Basically I have to ask people to repeat themselves.

My mother suffers from extreme anxieties that only affect her in her sleep when he guard is down. Its like having panic attacks in her sleep. I have the same thing, only not nearly as bad. I've had maybe 4 panic attacks where I wake up crying and shaking. Only one while I was awake.

I also suffer from couchinitis. Its a medical condition thats a side effect of marijuana use. Basically, it makes it hard to get out of bed or off the couch.

 

[Pojodan]

Almost forgot about my hyper metabolism (self-diagnosed). I eat and drink just about whatever I want, when I want, and I've been around 153 lbs. +/- 5 for the last 6+ years (now age 23). I exercise on occasion, but not enough to keep this kind of metabolism going.

As a kind of side-effect of this hyper metabolism, my body gives off a lot of heat. This is good for cuddling situations :slywink:

I envy you.

My metabolism is terrible, thanks to a slow thyroid, and yet I still act as a portable space heater. Makes it difficult to sleep as I overheat myself.

 

[Cajungal]

Nothing at all, except a left ankle that pops when I go up and down stairs because of a past injury, I'm assuming... since it never happened before then.

I had silicone splints in my nose for a month once. My nose used to whistle because of a hole in my septum.