This happened while I was in the army...
We were on bivouac (=combat training in terrain, which in this case meant a heavily forested area), and because this was supposed to be combat training, i.e. we were to act like we were really out there, looking for The Enemy, me and another guy were told to head up a low hill, dig up firing positions, and stand sentry. Or in this case, lie sentry as we were to remain unnoticed should The Enemy appear.
So, we dig up some foxholes and masque them so that we could see the terrain ahead without being seen ourselves. The other sentry was a good distance away, so we couldn't talk. All we could do was lie in the hole, our assault rifles (unloaded) trained at the distance. It was mid-October, I think, so it was pretty cool and dank, and we just lied there... and lied there... and lied there.
Suddenly I realize that my assault rifle is missing. I panic; I had it right there, I was clutching it as I lay on my belly on the dirt. I hadn't gone anywhere, I hadn't left my post. Even if I had, I would have certainly taken my gun with me. The situation is made worse by the fact that the soldiers are very, very much responsible for their gun. If we lose our gun, we could face up to six months in prison. And me, hating the army, hating being there, have just lost my gun and I keep thinking I don't want to go to jail, no, this isn't right, this isn't right...
I call my partner in sentry, and we try to look for the gun, but it's nowhere to be found. I knew I had it, I remembered clasping it in my hands, the butt of the gun pressing against my shoulder. It's not in the foxhole, nor anywhere around it. Shivering and close to having a nervous breakdown I return to the camp. My feet felt like jelly and my heart was pounding like mad when I reported to the regular NCO commanding our two platoons that I've lost my piece. He was this short, muscular guy, like a Hobbit version of Ahnuld, and he gives me one single piercing look before he calls the platoons in. I'm still standing in attention as the rest of the soldiers line up behind me. I'm told not to return in line, and in the back of my mind I see him calling the military police to pick me up.
He starts telling the others how I had been on sentry duty, and had lost my gun. He really chews me up in front of the others, and this being the army, I just stand there and try to choke my tears. This was not supposed to happen, this was not supposed to happen... I just wanted to do my six months in the service, go home and continue my studies... but now it felt like I was going to end up in jail. I had never gotten to trouble with the law, and now I was to end up in jail. I could just feel my plans for the future shattering...
And then the NCO pulls out an assault rifle from his tent. He then goes on to tell how he was checking up on the sentries... and he had found me sleeping! Honest to God, I did not remember falling asleep. I did not remember even feeling sleepy, let alone waking up, but apparently I must have dozed off for a few minutes while lying there in that dank hole. He had taken my gun to show how easy it would be for someone to snatch a gun in a situation like that. In other words, I had been close to breaking down for nothing! Seriously, we were in the middle of frickin' nowhere! The area was part of the garrison's training grounds, with no civilians for miles! He then shoved the gun back in my hands and told me to get back to my post. Mortified, embarrassed but also strangely relieved I went back... but I still harbor this desire to one day punch this asshole in the face.
How's that for an embarrassing moment?
I hate when they don't let it go. I'm disturbingly clumsy, so I feel your pain there.
