Maybe this should just be merged into CDS' thread, but it seems like that thread is really for movies that are either highly recommended, or recommended with reservations.
Some films, however, are so awful that it's a service to mankind to keep people from watching them, even out of morbid curiosity.
My donation: The Purifiers , starring Dom Monaghan, Kevin McKidd, and some random guy. I watched this through Netflix, because the concept of Merry and Lucius Vorenus starring together in a re-make of the Warriors featuring rival tae-kwan-do gangs set in Australia sounded so train-wreckish that there was no way it couldn't be unintentionally hilarious, especially drunk.
I was wrong.
If you took the Warriors, took out all the campiness (no Baseball Furies or gangland radio communications network), all the over-the-top dialogue, all the faux grittiness, dressed everyone in the same completely unobstrusive black gym clothing and trench coats, had everyone walk around in as if they were doing low-budget fashion catwalks, and replaced the hard-hitting fights with one-on-one regulated 1-touch-1-fall martial arts matches, and completely avoided any kind of internal-to-the-scene or overarching pacing but just had scenes sort of start and stop...you'd still have a better film than the Purifiers, because the director, in addition, clearly took himself too seriously.
The script is inane, the actors are wooden, and worst of all, the fight choreography is boring. You've all seen it before; the actors are all only taught three moves, so for the entire goddamm movie, they only use these three moves on one another, slowly, like clockwork.
Kevin McKidd looks like he did the entire thing drunk. I don't blame him, that was probably the only way he could get himself to do it.
I don't even know what Dom Monaghan was doing in this thing.
But it explains why he thought Wolverine was a step up in his film career.
Some films, however, are so awful that it's a service to mankind to keep people from watching them, even out of morbid curiosity.
My donation: The Purifiers , starring Dom Monaghan, Kevin McKidd, and some random guy. I watched this through Netflix, because the concept of Merry and Lucius Vorenus starring together in a re-make of the Warriors featuring rival tae-kwan-do gangs set in Australia sounded so train-wreckish that there was no way it couldn't be unintentionally hilarious, especially drunk.
I was wrong.
If you took the Warriors, took out all the campiness (no Baseball Furies or gangland radio communications network), all the over-the-top dialogue, all the faux grittiness, dressed everyone in the same completely unobstrusive black gym clothing and trench coats, had everyone walk around in as if they were doing low-budget fashion catwalks, and replaced the hard-hitting fights with one-on-one regulated 1-touch-1-fall martial arts matches, and completely avoided any kind of internal-to-the-scene or overarching pacing but just had scenes sort of start and stop...you'd still have a better film than the Purifiers, because the director, in addition, clearly took himself too seriously.
The script is inane, the actors are wooden, and worst of all, the fight choreography is boring. You've all seen it before; the actors are all only taught three moves, so for the entire goddamm movie, they only use these three moves on one another, slowly, like clockwork.
Kevin McKidd looks like he did the entire thing drunk. I don't blame him, that was probably the only way he could get himself to do it.
I don't even know what Dom Monaghan was doing in this thing.
But it explains why he thought Wolverine was a step up in his film career.
