BananaHands
Staff member
"There is literally nothing on the planet that can stop me from masturbating."Don't forget "Americans vow not to masturbate on 9/11!"
i love the onion but i am not sure how they managed to mix up hollow point bullets with frangible ones...This one had me rolling: http://www.theonion.com/content/video/manufacturer_recalls_hollow_point
Also the blurb at the end: \"New penis enlargement pill works by making non-penis body parts smaller.\"
Considering their biggest offices are in Chicago and Madison, if I'm ever in the city I can too. The bums sell them to you!I can pick up a physical paper copy of The Onion at most places
GREEN BAY, WI—Brett Favre beat the Green Bay Packers on Sunday for the second time this season, his decisive 38-26 victory exacting some small measure of revenge for the adulation and hero worship heaped upon him by the city of Green Bay and the entire state of Wisconsin for the better part of two decades. \"It feels good to finally get retribution from the team that gave me my first chance to start, believed in me despite the pitfalls of my early career, and ensured I will be a first-ballot Hall of Famer,\" Favre said at a postgame press conference. \"And to do it in front of those fans, who unconditionally loved me through thick and thin while I struggled with a Vicodin addiction and disastrous interceptions, just made it that much sweeter. Sixteen long years of devotion, and they're finally getting what they deserve.\" Favre mentioned that when he does retire, he is looking forward to \"really sticking it\" to the wife and daughters whose loving presence has been the one constant during his playing career.