Should I tell her?

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Cog

Cog

Hi everybody. Don't know why but I like to talk about my problems with you all and hear your opinions.

First. My wife is finally pregnant (yay us), but is having a very very very bad pregnancy, so she is staying with her parents for a few days. The thing is... our cat was hit by a car. The vet says he need surgery on his leg first thing tomorrow morning. These are the facts:

- I live in a small city in a third world country so there is no way for us to leave the cat with someone else .
- I can't miss another day at work.
- My wife is the one who usually takes care of the cat
- I don't want to tell her the bad news and I don't know what to do.
- Is not that she is sick or with a risk pregnancy, I just don't want to give her more stress.

Any suggestion?

Well, thanks for listening. Next I will make a "Ask cog anything and I will answer in a very bad english" thread.
 
Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

I wish I had some advice. That's a difficult situation to be in. I understand both why you would and wouldn't want to tell her right now. Hm.

Does the vet have the capacity/ability to hold the cat for a day while you are at work and treat it?

And your English is leaps and bounds better than most of my friends for whom it is their native tongue, so I wouldn't worry about that!
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
Most vets have a place to hold animals. Talk to him/her and let them know the situation. They will probably have some pity on you and do it for no extra cash.

Once the kitty is fine, let the wife know that it happened, the cat is okay and you took care of it.
 
Cajungal

Cajungal

Staff member
Yep, Dave's right. I'm so sorry she's having a hard time. If she finds out about all that AFTER you've taken care of everything, it will ease her mind. :)
 
W

Wasabi Poptart

Tell your wife. She's going to find out eventually. If I was in her shoes and my husband kept something like that from me, I'd be angry. However, you know your wife better than we do. If you think she'll understand why you didn't tell her right away, then maybe you should wait.
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
Besides, this will prove you can handle emergencies without her and that makes you a better dad, too.
 
@Li3n

@Li3n

The whole "fix it and then tell her" sounds like a solid plan to me... showing her the recovering cat before you tell her would probably also help with any stress...
 
Espy

Espy

Wildsoul said:
Tell your wife. She's going to find out eventually. If I was in her shoes and my husband kept something like that from me, I'd be angry. However, you know your wife better than we do. If you think she'll understand why you didn't tell her right away, then maybe you should wait.
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This.
 
Cog

Cog

The fix it and tell her plan only works if the cat is ok in the end. But if he is not...
 
W

Wasabi Poptart

Which is why you need to tell her now instead of waiting. No matter what you do, she is going to be upset. That is just a fact. If you wait to tell her, then she'll want to know why you thought you had to hide this from her. She's going to be upset about the cat, especially if the cat doesn't make it, and she'll be angry with you, too.
 
Cog

Cog

Where I am going to get another neutered black cat with white paws that meows and cries like a kitten when you leave him alone and likes to suck the tip of the thumb of my wife?

I'm going to do both things. I will leave the cat with the vet tomorrow morning, then I will tell the wife, and then we are going to see the result together. This way at least, she is going to sleep well tonight.
 
strawman

strawman

Most animal enthusiasts, for better or worse, feel almost as close to their animal as they would a child or sibling, and it would hurt them to hear that their animal was hurt or in pain while they were oblivious to the situation. Even if the animal is perfectly fine afterwards they will feel a level of helplessness due to being unavailable.

If you are a cat person and know her level of attachment, or you know your wife really is better off not knowing, then follow your instinct.

Otherwise it's probably safer to err on the side of 'too much information too soon' than 'too little information too late.'

Best wishes on the pregnancy!
 
Cog

Cog

@Li3n said:
Wait, as i understood the cat only had to get it's leg fixed, so why wouldn't it make it?!
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Well the doctor said that before the surgery, the cat needs to survive the night, which he did. I'm off to the doctor's office now.
 
KCWM

KCWM

I wish you best of luck, as both a husband and cat owner. Here's to a speedy recovery for the cat.
 
@Li3n

@Li3n

Cog;310469][quote=@Li3n said:
Wait, as i understood the cat only had to get it's leg fixed, so why wouldn't it make it?!
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Well the doctor said that before the surgery, the cat needs to survive the night, which he did. I'm off to the doctor's office now.[/QUOTE]

Oh yes, the old "sure, i can fix your leg, but first i need to make sure you're alive" treatment...
 
Shannow

Shannow

Staff member
Eat the cat, espeically its heart and brain. Feed her portions as well. That way you will gain its power and soul, and it will be with you both.....forever.
 
Cog

Cog

I told her. Happened what I feared. She blamed herself for not being there. Cried a lot. I hope this doesn't affect our child.
 
Cog

Cog

A quick update for those interesed. The wife is still with her parents, the cat is recovering nicely, but now he wants to be in my lap all the time (Even in the bathroom). Is that normal?
 
C

Chazwozel

Cog said:
I told her. Happened what I feared. She blamed herself for not being there. Cried a lot. I hope this doesn't affect our child.
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Isn't that a Hindu school of thought? That if the mother is stressed out the child will be too?
 
I

Iaculus

Cog said:
A quick update for those interesed. The wife is still with her parents, the cat is recovering nicely, but now he wants to be in my lap all the time (Even in the bathroom). Is that normal?
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He's a cat. Define 'normal'.

As for the rest - all's well that ends well, eh?
 
@Li3n

@Li3n

Cog said:
A quick update for those interesed. The wife is still with her parents, the cat is recovering nicely, but now he wants to be in my lap all the time (Even in the bathroom). Is that normal?
Click to expand...
PTSD?!

Cog said:
I told her. Happened what I feared. She blamed herself for not being there. Cried a lot. I hope this doesn't affect our child.
Click to expand...
So the right answer was "No you shouldn't!" then?
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
When cats are sick they tend to bond together. Anyone with multiple cats will tell you this.

Since you have no other cats this one is bonding with you.
 
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