Why I Hate Public Transport

[Shadazz]

Today, on the train to see a friend in a different suburb. Usually I would have just driven, but I felt like saving some money. Anyway, there were a few, let's just call them fuckheads. Drunk fuckheads. They were probably about late 20's and there was three of these particular fuckheads.

Most of the train ride, they were either calling me "sexy babe" or telling me I look like a boy. Hallelujah.

Our trains are simply seats on either side of the train facing each other, which I've always really fucking hated. First, a youngin' about 14 who was obviously trying not to look at them from the other side of the train kept "looking at them funny" and to which they said they'd "kick his fucking head in." Great. They were threatening fucking little kids. The kid got off at the next stop, pretty darn fast as they were yelling at him. Poor kid.

Anyway, as one of these fuckhead's kids are swinging from the grab holds, he starts ranting about how much he needs to chuck a piss. An elderly man is sitting in the disabled seats down the edge of our row, and he laughed at the kids. I mean, they were cute, and I was giggling too. So the Alpha fuckhead decides to walk up to him and stop "perving" on his kids, spits in his face, and sits back down. By this time I'm about ready to move, but being two stops away I decide that I'll wait it out.

Then here comes the best fucking part. Alpha fuckhead, in all his brilliance, decides he's going to piss in the corner of the train. Directly fucking in front of me. I won't go into huge detail, but there was piss fucking everywhere. I had to lift my feet to avoid it.

Luckily this occurred just as my stop came up. I ran off the piss stinking train as fast as I could, and had my friend drive me back to my apartment. Fuck Public Transport.

So, to take my mind off this. Tell me some public transport tales, if you have any. If not, just share some personal experiences.

 

[bhamv3]

This took place on the Paris Metro, while I was on vacation there around 10 years ago.

A guy, possibly drunk, possibly mentally unstable, definitely pissed off, got on the metro, and sat down next to a young woman. The woman looked like a student, possibly a grad student, and was reading some papers in her hands. The guy kept muttering to himself in French during the whole trip. I think he must have been saying something profane, because I really didn't recognize any of the words.

Anyway, eventually the woman gets annoyed with him, and asks him to please stop. He literally gets in her face, puts his face within a millimeter of hers and starts screaming at her. She recoils and stands up, to move away, when he suddenly knocks the papers out of her hands, scattering them all over the floor, and stomps on them. That's when she loses it, and she pounces on the guy, clawing at him. Eventually they had to be separated by other passengers.

The weird guy moves to another seat, while some gentlemanly Frenchmen help the woman pick up her papers.

Best part was that for the rest of the trip, every time someone got off the train, they'd say something rude to the weird guy. I think he got sworn at by at least two dozen people that day, over the course of about five stops.

 

[Shannow]

Good ol' Australia

 

[Odie]

Ok...

On my trip home one night a very drunk woman with a good portion of most of her teeth missing sits behind me. This is fairly unsual as the train I take is a commuter train and is really only ridden by the same people (usually govt. workers who are too tired to talk or really bother anyone). Anyways the woman brings on a 24 pack of budweiser to the train and proceeds to drink and drink. Eventually she starts telling all of us around her that she is going to see her new lover and that this is the best day of her life. Her phone rings and she answers on speakerphone, Its her boyfriend whom she is leaving. She then proceeds to them him that he is "a giant fat loser" and she is going to see this hook up she found on craiglist and she will be sucking this guys "cockmonster" later tonight. Most the of the rest of the ride she is yelling back and forth about how this guy is going to give to her like she never has had it and that if her boyfirend wants her back he has to come get her. We get off the train, surprise surprise noone is there to pick her up. As a communter train this train only travels one way in the morning and one way in the evening so either She ended up calling someone to get her or she is sleeping in the outside terminal for the night. Im not sure where she ended up going but I have never seen her again .

 

[Cajungal]

Sorry. :\ I once made a bunch of English people scowl at me on a subway ride... or a "tube" ride, I guess. We were cramped in really tight, and my friend Arun was smooshed up right against my back, so I laughed and said, "Man you could get laid in here and not know it." A few people glared at me, but this one old guy laughed, thank God.

One time in a taxi in New York the driver told me how his father would electrocute him if he made bad grades in school. That was interesting.

 

[phil]

My friends and I in high school were going to the Dallas west end, which is the kinda trendy place to go I guess, and we took the DART rail to get there. So we're kind of horsing around when my buddy Andy punches Sean. The thing is though, Andy hurt his hand in the process and mostly jokingly bitched about it for a while. We all thought it was just hilarious and all in good fun, but one of the other passengers I guess didn't find it at all amusing and decided to tell us about real pain. Basically, this giant walks over to us, and tells us about how he lost some of his good friends climbing radio towers with THESE HANDS (insert giant hands here) and that real pain is having to climb the tallest structures in the world for a living. I'm a bit fuzzy on the details but I think Vietnam was mentioned in there as well.

Anyway, after he more or less creeps the hell out of all of us, he proceeds to hit on some lady and get her phone number.

We all agreed that this man has been hunting us ever since and the last thing we ever see in this world is him strangling us with his giant ogre hands, and we will all die with the knowledge that he's going to hit on our moms after he kills us.

 

[Chazwozel]

I ride the train everyday to work so I pretty much have a new story every week. One in particular is hilarious. I got off work early at 4:00 and catch the 4:45 train. Two drunk as balls frat boys sit behind me. For about 20 minutes they're swearing and talking about how many bitches they're going to fuck at the party they're going to. The one guy gets up and looks at the baggage overhead. "Dude, do you have our bags?" "No." "You fucking idiot, you left them in Philly."

I just fucking lose it and start laughing hysterically, as do a couple other regular commuters on the train. I obviously embarrassed the guy and he starts talking shit to me... until I stand up. It's always fun to watch a 5 foot dipshit cower like a scared dog. So he immediately calms down and tells me, "I'm just kidding bro..etc". They go back to their bag issue. The other guy get the brilliant idea that they should jump off the train and walk to Philly. At this point the conductor is walking by and overhears them swearing and causing a ruckus. He radios the train policeman, and the morons get escorted off at the next stop. I wonder if they ever got to their party and fucked all those bitches?

---------- Post added at 09:48 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:45 AM ----------

Today, on the train to see a friend in a different suburb. Usually I would have just driven, but I felt like saving some money. Anyway, there were a few, let's just call them fuckheads. Drunk fuckheads. They were probably about late 20's and there was three of these particular fuckheads.

Most of the train ride, they were either calling me "sexy babe" or telling me I look like a boy. Hallelujah.

Our trains are simply seats on either side of the train facing each other, which I've always really fucking hated. First, a youngin' about 14 who was obviously trying not to look at them from the other side of the train kept "looking at them funny" and to which they said they'd "kick his fucking head in." Great. They were threatening fucking little kids. The kid got off at the next stop, pretty darn fast as they were yelling at him. Poor kid.

Anyway, as one of these fuckhead's kids are swinging from the grab holds, he starts ranting about how much he needs to chuck a piss. An elderly man is sitting in the disabled seats down the edge of our row, and he laughed at the kids. I mean, they were cute, and I was giggling too. So the Alpha fuckhead decides to walk up to him and stop "perving" on his kids, spits in his face, and sits back down. By this time I'm about ready to move, but being two stops away I decide that I'll wait it out.

Then here comes the best fucking part. Alpha fuckhead, in all his brilliance, decides he's going to piss in the corner of the train. Directly fucking in front of me. I won't go into huge detail, but there was piss fucking everywhere. I had to lift my feet to avoid it.

Luckily this occurred just as my stop came up. I ran off the piss stinking train as fast as I could, and had my friend drive me back to my apartment. Fuck Public Transport.

So, to take my mind off this. Tell me some public transport tales, if you have any. If not, just share some personal experiences.

Wow great roll model. And here I thought the juicehead, unemployed Aussie was a grossly exaggerated stereotype.

 

[Shadazz]

Getting their cocks wet is every frat boys dream, no? Haha. Well, I wish the Transperth Police were as good as yours are!

Oh, yeah.. well.. sorry, but that stereotype is 100% true. My taxpayer money goes to their booze, woohoo!

 

[Chazwozel]

Getting their cocks wet is every frat boys dream, no? Haha. Well, I wish the Transperth Police were as good as yours are!

Oh, yeah.. well.. sorry, but that stereotype is 100% true. My taxpayer money goes to their booze, woohoo!

So they really do hang around in the backyard all day, drinking beer and headbutting each other while playing a halfassed game of rugby? (me thinks I found heaven)

 

[Seraphyn]

Luckily, 99,9% of the time in my life, public transport has been good to me. I do put on headphones and read a book so I'm not bothered much though, I suppose that helps.

 

[Shadazz]

Getting their cocks wet is every frat boys dream, no? Haha. Well, I wish the Transperth Police were as good as yours are!

Oh, yeah.. well.. sorry, but that stereotype is 100% true. My taxpayer money goes to their booze, woohoo!

So they really do hang around in the backyard all day, drinking beer and headbutting each other while playing a halfassed game of rugby? (me thinks I found heaven)[/QUOTE]

Basically. Grow a bit of stubble (or a 30cm long beard, nothing in between. Seriously), buy a barbecue, some snags (sausages), a carton of Emu Bitter, and find an old car to "fix up" and never bother doing any actual work on it and you're fucking true blue Aussie matey!

 

[Chazwozel]

Getting their cocks wet is every frat boys dream, no? Haha. Well, I wish the Transperth Police were as good as yours are!

Oh, yeah.. well.. sorry, but that stereotype is 100% true. My taxpayer money goes to their booze, woohoo!

So they really do hang around in the backyard all day, drinking beer and headbutting each other while playing a halfassed game of rugby? (me thinks I found heaven)[/QUOTE]

Basically. Grow a bit of stubble (or a 30cm long beard, nothing in between. Seriously), buy a barbecue, some snags (sausages), a carton of Emu Bitter, and find an old car to "fix up" and never bother doing any actual work on it and you're fucking true blue Aussie matey![/QUOTE]

It's like fucking West Virginia, only with cooler accents!!!!

 

[twitchmoss]

Sorry. :\ I once made a bunch of English people scowl at me on a subway ride... or a "tube" ride, I guess. We were cramped in really tight, and my friend Arun was smooshed up right against my back, so I laughed and said, "Man you could get laid in here and not know it." A few people glared at me, but this one old guy laughed, thank God.

People on the underground are afraid to make EYE CONTACT with each other, let alone speak (this rule is discounted when the train breaks down, and everyone gets in a friendly bitching session about how the tube line sucks). To them, your comments were akin to loudly breaking wind in front of the pope during easter sunday. good for you!

 

[Shadazz]

My friends and I in high school were going to the Dallas west end, which is the kinda trendy place to go I guess, and we took the DART rail to get there. So we're kind of horsing around when my buddy Andy punches Sean. The thing is though, Andy hurt his hand in the process and mostly jokingly bitched about it for a while. We all thought it was just hilarious and all in good fun, but one of the other passengers I guess didn't find it at all amusing and decided to tell us about real pain. Basically, this giant walks over to us, and tells us about how he lost some of his good friends climbing radio towers with THESE HANDS (insert giant hands here) and that real pain is having to climb the tallest structures in the world for a living. I'm a bit fuzzy on the details but I think Vietnam was mentioned in there as well.

Anyway, after he more or less creeps the hell out of all of us, he proceeds to hit on some lady and get her phone number.

We all agreed that this man has been hunting us ever since and the last thing we ever see in this world is him strangling us with his giant ogre hands, and we will all die with the knowledge that he's going to hit on our moms after he kills us.

Heheheh.

 

[Dave]

The only real stories I have ha nothing really happen in them.

When I was in Germany (Munich) I had to ride the U-Bahn (subway) a lot because hardly anyone has cars there. So the embarrassing story I have was when this GORGEOUS British lady was talking to me. She stops and says, "Where are you from?" Now, I got that a lot so I distractedly gave my stock answer, "The United States." This usually worked with Germans because they didn't know if I was from the states, Canada, etc. But this woman turned from nice lady to British aristocracy is a blink. She looked me disdainfully in the eye and said, "Yes. Yes I know. But they have states there. Which one are you from?" I stammered out that I was from Iowa but she had already decided I was about as bright as an ape and the conversation went nowhere after that.

The second story had NOTHING HAPPEN...but I just knew something was going to. In Germany you don't HAVE to buy a ticket to get on the train. It's an honor system. But there are officials who go from car to car and ask you for your ticket. If you don't have one you are hauled in and given a ticket. One day I got locked out of the apartment while taking the dog out to crap (the door is auto lock). I had nobody that I could ask for help and I had a few hours to waste before the roommates came home so I ended up having to take the U-Bahn to Marienplatz to get some food. But I had less money than I thought and didn't have enough to get back. So I boarded the train and shat bricks the entire way home. Oh, and I also had NO IDENTIFICATION! That would have been a fun day.

 

[Hylian]

Did they look at all like this?

 

[Shadazz]

Did they look at all like this?

I wish.

 

[Dave]

Then you'd need some guy in a robe squeeze their necks and knock them out.

 

[General Specific]

My friends and I in high school were going to the Dallas west end, which is the kinda trendy place to go I guess, and we took the DART rail to get there. So we're kind of horsing around when my buddy Andy punches Sean. The thing is though, Andy hurt his hand in the process and mostly jokingly bitched about it for a while. We all thought it was just hilarious and all in good fun, but one of the other passengers I guess didn't find it at all amusing and decided to tell us about real pain. Basically, this giant walks over to us, and tells us about how he lost some of his good friends climbing radio towers with THESE HANDS (insert giant hands here) and that real pain is having to climb the tallest structures in the world for a living. I'm a bit fuzzy on the details but I think Vietnam was mentioned in there as well.

Anyway, after he more or less creeps the hell out of all of us, he proceeds to hit on some lady and get her phone number.

We all agreed that this man has been hunting us ever since and the last thing we ever see in this world is him strangling us with his giant ogre hands, and we will all die with the knowledge that he's going to hit on our moms after he kills us.

Heheheh.[/QUOTE]

Anybody want a peanut?

 

[Tinwhistler]

I've taken the train/subway in Toronto, St. Louis, and the Dallas DART (mostly to/from the St. Patrick's Day Parade staging area). I used to use Greyhound regularly between Corpus Christi and Houston when I was in the Navy. Nothing interesting ever happened on the bus/train. Though I once chased off a couple homeless guys who were trying to mug a homeless lady once outside the Corpus Christi Greyhound station . But I saw that more of a "downtown in a city after midnight" situation and less of "weird thing on a train" situation.

 

[Shadazz]

Anybody want a peanut?

Probably, he means no harm.
He's really very short on charm.

 

[sixpackshaker]

I live in BFE and have no public transit. Hell nearby Houston barely has public transit.

 

[Hylian]

I have only had to use public transportation a few times and luckily each time it went without any incident.

 

[Charlie Don't Surf]

I had a native american vision quest in Manhattan that culminated with Fred Sanford from Sanford & Son barking at me on the Q Train.

 

[Chazwozel]

I had a native american vision quest in Manhattan that culminated with Fred Sanford from Sanford & Son barking at me on the Q Train.

<bum ba bad dum... bum ba bad dum... bum ba bad dum, dum da dee...>

 

[Dave]

Check out Charlie rocking the peyote!

 

[Shannow]

I

I just fucking lose it and start laughing hysterically, as do a couple other regular commuters on the train. I obviously embarrassed the guy and he starts talking shit to me... until I stand up. It's always fun to watch a 5 foot dipshit cower like a scared dog. So he immediately calms down and tells me, "I'm just kidding bro..etc". ?

I saw two punks steppin to a pretty young lady on a subway once. Causing her trouble, threatening her. I stood up from my seat and flexed at them. One pissed his pants, and the other guys head exploded. The one who had pissed himself them jumped through the window...off the moving subway. I gave the woman who I just saved a mean look, and BAM, she was pregnant. With twins.

Yeah, I am that awesome.

 

[Zonker]

I've been riding the DC metro and have no particularly interesting stories. Once this obnoxious 10 year old kid sat next to me and tried to give me a hard time, asked me what I was reading, so I started reading Bulgakov's Master and Margarita to him in Russian. I've had to stare down obnoxious ten year olds a few times, I don't feel like I should have to take crap from anybody on a train. Once this guy who was an obvious crack addict came up to me asking for money, I ignored him and he tapped my hands to get my attention and we got in a big shouting match that resulted in him freaking out and threatening me with a pipe. But he didn't hit me. Called the police at the next station but he got on a train going the other direction before they got there.

I think it's a felony to beat up crack addicts in dc...

 

[Twitch]

Did they look at all like this?

In Hungary they all look like this

I

I just fucking lose it and start laughing hysterically, as do a couple other regular commuters on the train. I obviously embarrassed the guy and he starts talking shit to me... until I stand up. It's always fun to watch a 5 foot dipshit cower like a scared dog. So he immediately calms down and tells me, "I'm just kidding bro..etc". ?

I saw two punks steppin to a pretty young lady on a subway once. Causing her trouble, threatening her. I stood up from my seat and flexed at them. One pissed his pants, and the other guys head exploded. The one who had pissed himself them jumped through the window...off the moving subway. I gave the woman who I just saved a mean look, and BAM, she was pregnant. With twins.

Yeah, I am that awesome.[/QUOTE]
Dude, I get your thing with busting the guys balls but this story wasn't unbelievable at all, dumbass college kids are always starting shit and they get scared by anyone who clearly isn't taking their shit.

 

[Dave]

I've been riding the DC metro and have no particularly interesting stories. Once this obnoxious 10 year old kid sat next to me and tried to give me a hard time, asked me what I was reading, so I started reading Bulgakov's Master and Margarita to him in Russian. I've had to stare down obnoxious ten year olds a few times, I don't feel like I should have to take crap from anybody on a train. Once this guy who was an obvious crack addict came up to me asking for money, I ignored him and he tapped my hands to get my attention and we got in a big shouting match that resulted in him freaking out and threatening me with a pipe. But he didn't hit me. Called the police at the next station but he got on a train going the other direction before they got there.

I think it's a felony to beat up crack addicts in dc...

That's because they are the mayor.

 

[Twitch]

I'd like to take this time to tell you all to watch Kontroll, a Hungarian film about some subway ticket collectors.

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

I was 8 months pregnant, leaving Comic-Con. We had parked the car at the San Diego Naval base and rode the trolley to the convention center. On the way home the trolleys were packed. I couldn't get a seat. I thought it was pretty sad that no one would give their seat up to an obviously pregnant woman, but it didn't compare to the guy who elbowed me right in the stomach as he pushed me out of his way. My husband was going to tear the guy's head off.

 

[Shannow]

Dude, I get your thing with busting the guys balls but this story wasn't unbelievable at all, dumbass college kids are always starting shit and they get scared by anyone who clearly isn't taking their shit.

Wow, fail at the joke that was there.

 

[Cajungal]

Thanks, twitch!

To the OP, I find it interesting that they went from calling you attractive to saying you look like a boy. I think they need to examine themselves and think carefully about their life choices.

 

[Dieb]

I've been taking public transportation for a few years now every day, nothing bad has ever happened. Well, I've gotten into some crazy conversations with homeless people, but those were hilarious.