Rant VI: Now Drama Free

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Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Even if it hadn't been for the intoxicated late-night mailing, I'm not convinced that it would have turned out any different.

Rob, mon ami, you gave it your all, but she wasn't ready to accept you. I know it's easy for us on the outside to say, but try and find something to occupy your time, and just let the healing happen. Otherwise, you're going to sit and pick at this until it festers.
 
Rob King

Rob King

Yeah, I'm getting past it. Her response wasn't angry, but it did seem irritated. It's mostly moot anyhow since we are in a social network that makes her entirely unavoidable, so there will be other times when I see her. Actually, tonight is basically going to be the first time seeing her since last Monday when she dumped me, and I think we're both okay with it. If it comes up, I'll make my apology.

One of the things I said in the drugged up email was that I knew that even though she said 'take a break for a few weeks' she really meant that she wanted to end the relationship. She responded that she really did mean 'take a break,' although I think that might mean something different to her than it does to me. I think she intends the 'break' as a period of time during which we don't spend much time around each-other, in order to ease back into a more social friendship. To me, though, a break means we take a period of time during which we will be absent from one-another's company, and that this period of time is to be bookended by conversations about our relationship, what it all means, and where we go from here. Even IF this is what she is intending, I don't expect her to change her mind. Even though part of me is hanging onto the hope that she'll change her mind, the entirety of my intellect and about 95% of my heart knows that it's done.

I really am in a decent place right now, though. We'll see if my stomach lurches again when I see her this evening at our group coffee night, but I know I can get over this. I feel like I've made significant progress already.
 
C

Chazwozel

Rob King said:
Yeah, I'm getting past it. Her response wasn't angry, but it did seem irritated. It's mostly moot anyhow since we are in a social network that makes her entirely unavoidable, so there will be other times when I see her. Actually, tonight is basically going to be the first time seeing her since last Monday when she dumped me, and I think we're both okay with it. If it comes up, I'll make my apology.

One of the things I said in the drugged up email was that I knew that even though she said 'take a break for a few weeks' she really meant that she wanted to end the relationship. She responded that she really did mean 'take a break,' although I think that might mean something different to her than it does to me. I think she intends the 'break' as a period of time during which we don't spend much time around each-other, in order to ease back into a more social friendship. To me, though, a break means we take a period of time during which we will be absent from one-another's company, and that this period of time is to be bookended by conversations about our relationship, what it all means, and where we go from here. Even IF this is what she is intending, I don't expect her to change her mind. Even though part of me is hanging onto the hope that she'll change her mind, the entirety of my intellect and about 95% of my heart knows that it's done.

I really am in a decent place right now, though. We'll see if my stomach lurches again when I see her this evening at our group coffee night, but I know I can get over this. I feel like I've made significant progress already.
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Jesus. People spend this much time thinking about relationships? If I was in your shoes I'd have shrugged my shoulders and said, 'ok' after she told me she wanted a break. Then I'd probably think about what I'd want to eat for lunch. Egg salad or a BLT...

I'm hungry...
 
Rob King

Rob King

Chazwozel said:
Jesus. People spend this much time thinking about relationships? If I was in your shoes I'd have shrugged my shoulders and said, 'ok' after she told me she wanted a break.
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/shrug. I sometimes wish I could be that guy, but I'm not. I'm getting to the point where I'm okay being a little more affected by these matters.
 
Cajungal

Cajungal

Staff member
No shame in wanting to clarify something that, admittedly, could have a lot of different meanings. I can see where there would be confusion, but yeah, she's definitely pulling away.
 
C

Chazwozel

Rob King;396191][QUOTE=Chazwozel said:
Jesus. People spend this much time thinking about relationships? If I was in your shoes I'd have shrugged my shoulders and said, 'ok' after she told me she wanted a break.
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/shrug. I sometimes wish I could be that guy, but I'm not. I'm getting to the point where I'm okay being a little more affected by these matters.[/QUOTE]

Eh, I'm a pretty low maintenance guy, so I might might not be the best example. I married the only girl that I really ever gave a crap about in regards to her dumping me.
 
E

Element 117

Wasabi Poptart;395997][QUOTE=Dave;395978][QUOTE=Wasabi Poptart said:
Honestly, from a woman's standpoint, he needs to let it go. Another message is one more message too many regardless of what it says.
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Normally I would agree with you. But in this case he may owe her an apology depending on what he said. This message is that apology and explanation.[/QUOTE]

To me, it seems like a desperate attempt to start communicating with her again. Since she was neither "amused or convinced" he needs to leave her alone.[/QUOTE]

yeah, pretty much this. Bridge burnt, trying to apologize for the ashes just doesn't work.
 
M

makare

We think my sister is using again. I'm just at the point where I dont know what else I can do. Sigh.
 
Krisken

Krisken

I'm sorry to hear it makare. :( Seems like this is a hard habit for her to kick. Any ideas on what you'll do if she is using?
 
M

makare

No I dont. she has already been in rehab three time. This time if she gets busted she will just go to jail. She makes her own choices I guess.
 
W

Wasabi Poptart

Makare, there really is nothing you can do. Your sister is the one who has to stop using and commit to staying clean. It has to be hard to see someone you love destroying their life like this, but it is out of your hands unless she comes to you for help. :hug:
 
Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

That's siblings for you. Can't live their lives for them, no matter how much better you could do it.

---------- Post added at 06:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:05 PM ----------
Chazwozel;396223][QUOTE=makare1 said:
We think my sister is using again. I'm just at the point where I dont know what else I can do. Sigh.
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Is it Heroine?[/QUOTE]

She's on Xena, Wonder Woman, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
 
Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

escushion said:
That's siblings for you. Can't live their lives for them, no matter how much better you could do it.

---------- Post added at 06:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:05 PM ----------
Chazwozel;396223][QUOTE=makare1 said:
We think my sister is using again. I'm just at the point where I dont know what else I can do. Sigh.
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Is it Heroine?
Click to expand...
She's on Xena, Wonder Woman, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.[/QUOTE]

I'll be in my.... wait, that's just tasteless.


Makare, as has already been said, it's a decision she's made... she can talk all she wants about being unable to fight the addiction, but the bottom line is that its her choice to follow the path of least resistance. Does it make it easier to deal with? Probably not, but having a partial justification at least helps put it in perspective. She has to pull herself out of this - there's only so much you can do directly...
 
Cheesy1

Cheesy1

A family that my father's side of the family was close to had a sudden death in it today.

Newman boy, 16, dies in collision south of Modesto

The most tragic part of it is that he was following his mother, so she ended up seeing the whole thing in her rear view mirror. She's apparently hysterical right now. I could not even imagine what losing a child like this would be like. It just kills me.
 
M

makare

That is awful. A year ago this month we lost a 15 year old family friend. It was unbelievably difficult and a year hasn't made it any easier.

Your family's friends are in my prayers.
 
Enresshou

Enresshou

After driving in another state for a month, I am NOT going to fucking miss driving in the Bay Area (particularly on the stretch of 880 from Hayward to San Jose, but today's story took place on 580).

My friends and I were driving in two cars to go on a beer run (beer, barbecue, and science documentaries), and I tried to switch lanes. The guy was being an asshole and speeding up when I tried to change lanes, but I squeezed in and just made the exit. He tailgated me for the next minute, pulled up next to me, started screaming until he was red in the face, and then went to take a left, and I took a right. He then drove perpendicular across four lanes of traffic, sped up to catch me, and stopped at a red light to walk up, and started roaring at me through the passenger window that I cut him off and I needed to learn some "basic fucking safety driving". I pointed out that he had been intentionally blocking me from changing lanes, then he started yelling that I was a horrible driver and should just step out of the car.

It was at this point that he realized that, while I was trying to avoid a fight (I've done a couple martial arts for six or seven years, including muay thai; while I LOVE full contact sparring, I don't like street fights), my three friends in the other car who had pulled up next to me and weren't being quite so level-headed. He yelled some last obscenity, got back to his truck, and glared at us as he drove off.

I know I shouldn't try to understand road rage, but what. The. FUCK. I was strongly reminded of the old man who pulled a guy over and then shot him with a crossbow because he 'cut him off' or something like that. I have no idea what the hell motivates somebody to scream until they're red in the face over something that can easily be brushed off (particularly if you were doing your damndest to enable it).
 
Gusto

Gusto

Yay, stress, loneliness and existential crises manifesting themselves into physical illness!

Yay, throwing up at work! Yay not having enough people available and/or trained to be able to go home sick DESPITE working in food service!

hooraaaaaay
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Oh what a fine way to begin a day... My throat is sore, my nose is runny, my voice sounds like I'm talking through my sphincter (did I mention I do telemarketing?). Some asshole woke me up at 5am and asked me about deliveries to Tampere; the fucker barely even apologized after he finally realized he had the wrong goddamn number. I have to run after work (if I make it through the day) with errands, and most likely I won't be home until 10pm... when my dad'll probably call and ask me if I've had time to check something completely irrelevant but that's been bugging him.

God-fucking-dammit.
 
HCGLNS

HCGLNS

Good bye Subway, it's over, I will never darken your doorstep again. This past week you shit canned an employee for using her company allowed free sandwich to feed people just rescued from a fire.
 
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