When you need something pissed on, call on Dave. (All expenses must be paid for: i.e., food, traveling, room and board, beverages necessary to perform task, self-cleaning supplies, change of clothes, and possible hospital bills.)
The not-so-serious but I want to rant thread.
- Thread starter Dave
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M
makare
Don't pick on Dave.
He is such a good little boy. He deserves pastry... and soap for his bad, naughty, foul language.
He is such a good little boy. He deserves pastry... and soap for his bad, naughty, foul language.
It's not strange to pay another man to wet your wife's kitty? And it involves micturation?
I didn't know you were German.
W
Wasabi Poptart
Just one trickle away from incontinence. Dave's headed for the nursing home soon.
K
Kitty Sinatra
So am I. Tomorrow, in fact.
Well, a nurse's home, anyway.
Well, a nurse's home, anyway.
A
Andromache
When you need something pissed on, call on Dave. (All expenses must be paid for: i.e., food, traveling, room and board, beverages necessary to perform task, self-cleaning supplies, change of clothes, and possible hospital bills.)[/QUOTE]
this forum should have a warning: don't read threads while drinking soda.
Also, be careful not to piss off Dave....
http://halforums.wikidot.com/dave
You know, for a while I've been thinking that this forum has been lacking two things:
1) a thread to rant in for the minor things in life
2) someone to be the R. Kelly of the forum.
This thread delivers both.
Not only did we need a thread for this, but it's also really funny! Good job, Dave! I would shake your hand, but...
Just bought a new toothbrush. What ever happened to ones with small heads? The one I ended up buying that seems big enough to brush down a horse. I keep causing a gag reflex when I try to clean my back teeth....
fade
Staff member
Have you ever had a booger so irritating and so unresponsive to blowing that you just say, "Screw it" and jam your finger up there? And did you ever turn around with the results of your mining operation on your finger only to be staring directly into the eyes of a horrified grad student?
Well I haven't, you weirdos. I pick in private.
Well I haven't, you weirdos. I pick in private.
C
Chazwozel
Fuck that noise. I'll pick that fucker right out and stare at it while proclaiming victory! Nothing is more satisfying than prying out on of those dry fuckers that literally cause your eyes to well up from poking your nose.
Same goes for particularly deep zits, when you feel all that shit grid its way out of your skin with so much explosive force it sails and splats right into the bathroom mirror. Awww yeah. While we're on completely gross - yet satisfying - body grooming events, don't you just love the feel you get after taking a crap where you could swear it was the size of a football? I love the instant feeling of being 5 lbs lighter.
It's cool, baby.
I've aways found most body grooming activities to be pretty satisfying.
What's the use in mining gold if you can't share it with the townspeople?
We could call this the "whine" thread.
A
Andromache
It's cool, baby.[/QUOTE]
I.... just thought... oh, I should have said so that night in Yarina... *sobs*
mine was doing that too, but only in IE. i even went and updated IE to the latest version. I then loaded up Firefox and there's no longer an issue.
Everyone knows a simple "hummina hummina hummina" or "helloooooo nurse" or honking the nearest car horn or loudly talking about how rich and endowed you are, are all much better ways to get a woman to suddenly want to sleep with you.
It's like in the bible or something.
"and Adam asked onto Eve 'can I getteth some fries with thine shake?' and the Lord saw that it was good, reeeaallll good."
Cajungal
Staff member
"and Adam asked onto Eve 'can I getteth some fries with thine shake?' and the Lord saw that it was good, reeeaallll good."[/QUOTE]
Amen, Philip. Amen.
One of my girlfriend's best friends is now together with a guy. Good for them. She says it's just a fling, nothing serious...So than, why have you already talked about your fertility problems and the fact that you don't menstruate? That's not the way I'd start off a one-night or short-term thing, is it? Stop kidding yourself.
Also: you're 26, don't menstruate, and you haven't been to a doctor about this? Good God, woman!
Also: you're 26, don't menstruate, and you haven't been to a doctor about this? Good God, woman!
Cajungal
Staff member
Yikes, sounds like she should!
Oh MAN, Phil... I love going to the movies with my brother, because we both love to teach yappy people a lesson. If we're right behind giggly girls, we don't move or shush them like decent people. One time, Trey giggled along with them in this hilarious falsetto every time they talk. I just throw peanut M+Ms. I lob them really high in the air so it feels like they're coming from farther back. Somehow they learn that, when they're quiet, they're not assaulted by candy. We're a good team.
Oh MAN, Phil... I love going to the movies with my brother, because we both love to teach yappy people a lesson. If we're right behind giggly girls, we don't move or shush them like decent people. One time, Trey giggled along with them in this hilarious falsetto every time they talk. I just throw peanut M+Ms. I lob them really high in the air so it feels like they're coming from farther back. Somehow they learn that, when they're quiet, they're not assaulted by candy. We're a good team.
I once had a friend give two girls a dollar each right after a movie. He said it was unfair that he paid for a ticket, but neither of them got anything for narrating the entire damned thing.
The Shining. Yikes.
Dude, I would not hang around her without waders on. When she finally goes, she's taking the furniture with her. It's gonna be like the elevators in
The Shining. Yikes.
K
Kitty Sinatra
That story did not end the way I had hoped.
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