I posted about this in the rant thread, because I didn't want to make a new thread, but I've since changed my mind. I think this would be therapeutic.
I recently discovered that an old friend had passed away to cancer. A mutual friend of ours had sent me her obituary, and I was shocked to read the news. She was the first friend I ever made as an adult (or at least insomuch as I've ever been an adult... manchild is likely more accurate), and though we had gone separate ways, I still thought of her fondly, and had always meant to get back in touch.
And then I saw the date on the obituary. February 2008. Two years ago. I was floored, I couldn't believe it had been that long. Thinking back, it was nearly three years ago when we last spoke.
A little backstory, because human curiosity always asks the same question. She and I had a very close friendship. It wasn't romantic, or sexual in any way, but it was very intimate. She was someone I had met randomly and formed a near instant bond with. I was 18, fresh out of highschool, trying to find my identity as an adult in the adult world, and she was the first real friend I made there. We'd spend hours talking about everything, and I don't think there's much hyperbole to say that her influence determined a great deal the kind of person I would become. Being that we were both in college, we eventually went different directions, but not before a few very important years of friendship, and I regret never getting around to picking up the phone and getting back in contact.
I'm not really all that shocked by any of this. I knew back then that she was sick, but she didn't like to talk about it, so I never asked. Whenever it would come up, she always managed to convey a feeling that nothing was wrong, and that she was doing fine. It's only in hindsight that I realize how much she was hiding, and how little time she had left. In a way, I'm honored she chose to spend some of that time with me.
I've spent today thinking nice thoughts about all the good times we had together. It's easy to get caught up thinking how the world won't have her anymore, but it seems much more beneficial to remember how mine will always be brighter because of her. But I still wish I had called. If anyone reading this has someone like this in their life, a friend that you've always meant to catch up with, maybe you should pick up the phone.
I recently discovered that an old friend had passed away to cancer. A mutual friend of ours had sent me her obituary, and I was shocked to read the news. She was the first friend I ever made as an adult (or at least insomuch as I've ever been an adult... manchild is likely more accurate), and though we had gone separate ways, I still thought of her fondly, and had always meant to get back in touch.
And then I saw the date on the obituary. February 2008. Two years ago. I was floored, I couldn't believe it had been that long. Thinking back, it was nearly three years ago when we last spoke.
A little backstory, because human curiosity always asks the same question. She and I had a very close friendship. It wasn't romantic, or sexual in any way, but it was very intimate. She was someone I had met randomly and formed a near instant bond with. I was 18, fresh out of highschool, trying to find my identity as an adult in the adult world, and she was the first real friend I made there. We'd spend hours talking about everything, and I don't think there's much hyperbole to say that her influence determined a great deal the kind of person I would become. Being that we were both in college, we eventually went different directions, but not before a few very important years of friendship, and I regret never getting around to picking up the phone and getting back in contact.
I'm not really all that shocked by any of this. I knew back then that she was sick, but she didn't like to talk about it, so I never asked. Whenever it would come up, she always managed to convey a feeling that nothing was wrong, and that she was doing fine. It's only in hindsight that I realize how much she was hiding, and how little time she had left. In a way, I'm honored she chose to spend some of that time with me.
I've spent today thinking nice thoughts about all the good times we had together. It's easy to get caught up thinking how the world won't have her anymore, but it seems much more beneficial to remember how mine will always be brighter because of her. But I still wish I had called. If anyone reading this has someone like this in their life, a friend that you've always meant to catch up with, maybe you should pick up the phone.
