I just witnessed a domestic dispute
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This. *sigh*
In all seriousness, as previously stated here, you did about the best that you could. The only other thing you could have done would be to call the cops and stay on the phone with the dispatcher. However, it's easy for someone to say what they would do in a given situation, when the reality of that situation ISN'T hitting them between the eyes like a 2x4. You did great by providing a statement: we NEVER get those from outside witnesses.
Also, shit like this is why the STATE presses charges down here. Because the victims don't like getting away from a familiar situation; even if their partner is abusive, it's still somehow more comforting to them than being out there on their own.
This. *sigh*
In all seriousness, as previously stated here, you did about the best that you could. The only other thing you could have done would be to call the cops and stay on the phone with the dispatcher. However, it's easy for someone to say what they would do in a given situation, when the reality of that situation ISN'T hitting them between the eyes like a 2x4. You did great by providing a statement: we NEVER get those from outside witnesses.
Also, shit like this is why the STATE presses charges down here. Because the victims don't like getting away from a familiar situation; even if their partner is abusive, it's still somehow more comforting to them than being out there on their own.[/QUOTE]
Got a question for you, Char. In the OP's post from reading it I would assume that the male was trying to kidnap the female and as a reasonable person I would assume the responsibility to stop this possible kidnapping. Besides being on the phone with the police I would also have my firearm and approach the suspect (I am not LEO) and order him to stop and if he did not I would more than likely fire at him hurting/killing the possible kidnapper (in my mind he's kidnapping her, from the description given). What would I expect from the officers responding? Arrest and a trip downtown, to be let go and my firearm confiscated (I know it would be confiscated either way) for a possible case, the case forwarded to a grand jury for consideration? How do you think that officers would react in that situation?
edit: Assume I'm on the phone with 911 before/during/after the whole situation
@CrimsonSoul: In that situation, if you told the dispatcher all that, we'd get it as:
D: "45C1, be advised that the complainant states he has a firearm and will be attempting to confront the suspect until police arrive."
D: "The complainant has made contact with the suspect, white male, approximately 6 foot 180 pounds, brown hair, blue shirt."
D: "Complainant advises that the suspect is now fleeing on foot, last seen going down [his street]. Complainant is out with the victim."
While motivated by a noble heart, armed confrontations between Samaritans and suspects don't always work. Remember: "No plan survives contact with the enemy." Chances are the guy will take flight, leaving you to either stay with the sobbing victim (who will cuss you out for butting in to a "private discussion" [I wish I was kidding]) or to chase him. You're going to be running to keep him in sight. He's running for his freedom. Guess who tends to win those deals?
This is assuming he runs. Otherwise, he's going to fight, which will either make you pull the trigger (a decision I don't envy) or get physical with him. Then the situation has escalated before police get there, which we never like.
tl;dr - observing and staying in contact with dispatch to provide current intel is always your best bet. If he attempts to drive off, get in your car and FOLLOW (don't INTERCEPT), staying on the phone and providing tag, descriptions, actions, locations - all of this can be relayed in real-time to police. Then we can take the scene from where it ends up.
It's brave of you to offer that up, but if you're not a LEO, he's either not going to respect you attempting to halt the situation, or he's going to bolt, and the suspect is gone.
D: "45C1, be advised that the complainant states he has a firearm and will be attempting to confront the suspect until police arrive."
D: "The complainant has made contact with the suspect, white male, approximately 6 foot 180 pounds, brown hair, blue shirt."
D: "Complainant advises that the suspect is now fleeing on foot, last seen going down [his street]. Complainant is out with the victim."
While motivated by a noble heart, armed confrontations between Samaritans and suspects don't always work. Remember: "No plan survives contact with the enemy." Chances are the guy will take flight, leaving you to either stay with the sobbing victim (who will cuss you out for butting in to a "private discussion" [I wish I was kidding]) or to chase him. You're going to be running to keep him in sight. He's running for his freedom. Guess who tends to win those deals?
This is assuming he runs. Otherwise, he's going to fight, which will either make you pull the trigger (a decision I don't envy) or get physical with him. Then the situation has escalated before police get there, which we never like.
tl;dr - observing and staying in contact with dispatch to provide current intel is always your best bet. If he attempts to drive off, get in your car and FOLLOW (don't INTERCEPT), staying on the phone and providing tag, descriptions, actions, locations - all of this can be relayed in real-time to police. Then we can take the scene from where it ends up.
It's brave of you to offer that up, but if you're not a LEO, he's either not going to respect you attempting to halt the situation, or he's going to bolt, and the suspect is gone.
I agree 100% here, and I've made the decision long ago that I would use deadly force if and when necessary to defend myself or a 3rd person and is the reason I carry 24/7 anywhere I go (when legally able to do so).
As to the rest, I would still confront the suspect if he runs he runs I would rather that than the suspect get away with the victim. and yes I know she would likely try to turn things around on me when the police arrived. I would not chase the suspect after he has fled and would stay with the victim.
As I said, white-knighting is an admirable ambition, but it really only works in this kind of situation if justice can be applied to the miscreant in question. Honestly, police could do our jobs a LOT more efficiently (ie locking up bad guys) if we had more input from the populace (intel, suspect descriptions, DIRECTIONS OF &$*(@ travel!!!!! etc)
You'd think so, wouldn't you...
Most folks have several people that they can get in contact with to let them crash somewhere for a while. Even give them a key to go to his place and pick up some stuff.
I don't really see it as white-knighting as I do see it as stopping a possible rape/kidnapping/murder
One of the reasons why a lot of Northern Jersey townships with bad neighborhoods stay bad despite all the money pouring in from NYC is because there's still a big culture, leftover from the last 20 years, of either not reporting immediately when something is happening or getting involved and making things worse.
Even vets don't necessarily have the training appropriate for those kinds of situations. Strictly law enforcement only.
EDIT: Not saying that the desire is bad, CS, but the impression I've always got (and Char so far has backed it up) is that the best chance to actually stop and arrest the guy is by staying out of the way and making sure that the police have the best info possible.
Treating murder/rape/kidnapping as the same level of event here may be a bad way to look at things, horrific as all three are. I dunno, what do you say, Char?
Even vets don't necessarily have the training appropriate for those kinds of situations. Strictly law enforcement only.
EDIT: Not saying that the desire is bad, CS, but the impression I've always got (and Char so far has backed it up) is that the best chance to actually stop and arrest the guy is by staying out of the way and making sure that the police have the best info possible.
Treating murder/rape/kidnapping as the same level of event here may be a bad way to look at things, horrific as all three are. I dunno, what do you say, Char?
In my situation, I was told afterwords that they do not live together. The guy lives in my complex and she apparently lives in another one nearby.
Also, I found out later on that this was the first time that woman had been out with friends since the last time he did something like this. I really hope that she does follow through on this and doesn't wind back up with him again.
Also, I found out later on that this was the first time that woman had been out with friends since the last time he did something like this. I really hope that she does follow through on this and doesn't wind back up with him again.
Don't take it too hard when she does. That's her call.
I probably won't even know it if she does. I'd just hate to see someone get hurt or possibly even killed over their own stubbornness and/or stupidity.
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Andromache
very few people enjoy that sort of thing, and they probably should be avoided. just sayin.
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Philosopher B.
This is why I like living in the country. The scariest thing that ever happened around here was some guy broke into a car and stole a Blockbuster DVD of Planes, Trains & Automobiles. And there was a giant fireball in the sky once.
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Wasabi Poptart
I lived upstairs from a woman who was regularly physically and verbally abused by her boyfriend. I called the cops so often that the officers knew me like an old friend. There really isn't much more that you could have done to help.
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crono1224
I see this whole thing as really dangerous to everyone. I've heard that some of the most dangerous calls are the domestic violence calls. The victim ends up getting upset at someone getting in the middle of a private matter, and you may end up having her come at you. Or maybe he has a gun in the car and you are in a shoot out.
You know, I can't honestly say if I'd have done the same as GenSpec here. I'd like to think so. But I have to admit, I might look away like people so often do. I think it's admirable that Gen did do what he could.
And Crimmy, you're a nutjob, I'm just saying. Pulling a heater in a situation like that is like waving a sparkler in a gas-filled room.
And Crimmy, you're a nutjob, I'm just saying. Pulling a heater in a situation like that is like waving a sparkler in a gas-filled room.
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crono1224
I feel you, lots of us have a 'I would have done X in Y situation" but when it really comes down to it.... Easier to avoid a possible confrontation and/or situation than to get involved.
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