What do you call....

[Cajungal]

To the OP:

A henfest?

Heyy, that's also good.

 

[Calleja]

A guy walks into a store and asks the clerk if they sell potato clocks. The clerk has never heard of a potato clock, so he asks the guy what he'll need it for, to see if he can suggest a suitable replacement.

"Well," the guy says, "I just went to a job interview today, and I got the job, and my boss said I start tomorrow at nine, so I should get a potato clock."

I don't get it!!

 

[Cajungal]

get up at eight o clock said very fast = get a potato clock

 

[Tinwhistler]

say it out loud

Spoiler

a potato clock
up at 8 oclock

Drats, ninjad again!

 

[Hylian]

Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?

He sold his soul to Santa

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

 

[Calleja]

aaaaaahhhh... wow, sometimes it's quite obvious english isn't really my first language, isn't it?

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

aaaaaahhhh... wow, sometimes it's quite obvious english isn't really my first language, isn't it?

Well, English is my first language and it took me a few minutes of saying it out loud before I got it.

 

[sixpackshaker]

Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?

He sold his soul to Santa

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?

He sat up late at night wondering whether or not there was a Dog.

 

[drawn_inward]

Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?

He sold his soul to Santa

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?

He sat up late at night wondering whether or not there was a Dog.[/QUOTE]

I like that one. Is that a Stephen Wright joke?

 

[LordRavage]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

 

[Calleja]

Man... does anyone else get that where you THINK "wow, yeah, that's a pretty funny joke" but you don't LAUGH?

what's up with that?

 

[General Specific]

... a poultry music festival?

Chickenstock

If it has a dance contest, you could call that part: "Poultry in Motion"

 

[LordRavage]

Man... does anyone else get that where you THINK "wow, yeah, that's a pretty funny joke" but you don't LAUGH?

what's up with that?

Then I have to ask you this question....Are you a Mexican? Or a Mexicant?

 

[sixpackshaker]

Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?

He sold his soul to Santa

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?

He sat up late at night wondering whether or not there was a Dog.[/QUOTE]

I like that one. Is that a Stephen Wright joke?[/QUOTE]

Yeah, about 25 years old.

 

[Ross]

These just popped up on Comixed:

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

 

[Morphine]

Iba un camión de frutas y uno de agua y chocaron y BOING!


I'm sorry, doesn't work anywhere else but Mexico, but Morphine is gonna LOVE that one :smug:

sniff, I feel so sorry for all these people that cannot and will never understand this joke. It made me laugh so much.





Teacher tells the kids to make up a sentence using the words liver and cheese:
White kid says: My mommy is the best cook, she made me a delicious liver and cheese sandwich.
Black kid says: Papa told mah' momma to go get the government cheese but she didn't so he punched her in the liver.
Mexi kid says: Some cabrones were trying to look up my sister's dress and I told them fuckers: HEY! Liver alone, cheese my sister!!

 

[IronBrig4]

Iba un camión de frutas y uno de agua y chocaron y BOING!

There went a fruit truck and one of water and chocolate and BOING?

I don't get it.

 

[Calleja]

...chocolate!?

LMAO!

Chocolate in Spanish is chocolate, dude. Pronounced differently, but spelled exactly the same.

 

[IronBrig4]

Whoops. That's what I get for skimming the post.

 

[Silver Jelly]

XD

 

[Calleja]

for the spanish speakers: "Boing!" is a fruit drink that's been around in Mexico for like 60 years or more, several fruit flavors, all of them awesome.


aaaaaaaand i kill another joke explaining it.

 

[Tinwhistler]

a fruit truck and a water truck collide and create the fruit drink.

The equivalent joke in the US is: I saw a vinegar truck hit a water truck on the freeway the other day...*douche*!

 

[General Specific]

A truck carrying blue paint and a truck carrying red paint collide. Both drivers were marooned.

 

[Vytamindi]

Two tuba players walk PAST a bar.



Two snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

 

[figmentPez]

Two snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

.

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

A cheese sandwich walks into a bar and says, “Gimme a beer,” and the bartender says, “We don’t serve food here.”

 

[BErt]

two atoms bump into each other. The first atom says "I think I lost an electron."

The second atom asks "Are you sure?"

The first atom replies "Yes, I'm positive."


Also, that video is great.