Dave
Staff member
DING! DING! DING!
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D
darkangel6988
Haven't told anyone anything don't worry...Waiting for a phone call now . As for talking to him no chance at me telling him anything about what i'm doing NEVER lol don't care if he says im the best chick on the planet I'm way over his crap.
Slow process but trying desperately to get lawyer waiting on army now. Will update soon.
You're talking about someone who has a very successfull track record in deceiving and manipulating you. Lawyer up.
C
Chibibar
You're talking about someone who has a very successfull track record in deceiving and manipulating you. Lawyer up.[/QUOTE]
I hope you get a good lawyer
I know they cost, but it is well worth it. I always think everyone have good intentions, but I don't think this person (DA's soon to be ex) has good intentions. He is trying to figure out how to cut his loses with minimal damage. I do believe he KNOWS he is screwed in more ways than one. From what I have read on this thread from people who served, he can REALLY be screwed in more ways than one.
I have to agree to keep information to a minimum and print/copy everything and make a folder for yourself to KEEP and one to give to lawyer (exact copy) make sure the lawyer is on your side and read everything that is given to you. You don't want to get caught with fine prints and such.
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darkangel6988
You're talking about someone who has a very successfull track record in deceiving and manipulating you. Lawyer up.[/QUOTE]
I hope you get a good lawyer
I know they cost, but it is well worth it. I always think everyone have good intentions, but I don't think this person (DA's soon to be ex) has good intentions. He is trying to figure out how to cut his loses with minimal damage. I do believe he KNOWS he is screwed in more ways than one. From what I have read on this thread from people who served, he can REALLY be screwed in more ways than one.
I have to agree to keep information to a minimum and print/copy everything and make a folder for yourself to KEEP and one to give to lawyer (exact copy) make sure the lawyer is on your side and read everything that is given to you. You don't want to get caught with fine prints and such.[/QUOTE]
Not getting any help ! I'm getting irritated..........Can't get a lawyer in QC because I haven't lived here a year....Haven't lived in NY so that's out can't get one in WA cuz well they didn't say and well Texas I guess I have to wait for him to file cuz it's almost seeming impossible that I can. On the bright side I'll get money on payday so for this week I'm good. This situation is driving me up the wall !
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Chibibar
I am at a loss on why you can't get a lawyer. I am sure you can get at least legal council if possible. It is strange that you can't get one. Dave you got any advice?
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Wasabi Poptart
Did you establish residency in Washington?
I am at a loss on why you can't get a lawyer. I am sure you can get at least legal council if possible. It is strange that you can't get one. Dave you got any advice?[/QUOTE]
The laws in the province of Quebec are very unique. She cannot qualify for legal aid if she initiates a divorce in Quebec, so she must pay for a lawyer out of pocket or hope that her husband initiates it.
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darkangel6988
I am at a loss on why you can't get a lawyer. I am sure you can get at least legal council if possible. It is strange that you can't get one. Dave you got any advice?[/QUOTE]
The laws in the province of Quebec are very unique. She cannot qualify for legal aid if she initiates a divorce in Quebec, so she must pay for a lawyer out of pocket or hope that her husband initiates it.[/QUOTE]
I'm not worried about the out of pocket payment the problem is ............To initiate divorce myself in Quebec I have to have lived here for a year which I haven't. I didn't establish residency in Washington so no one in the army can help me out there because he's signed out of WA. I can't get any help in NY because he hasn't signed into that post yet because he is on leave. I can't get anyting in AZ as I never went there and he signed out there too. Texas Army base is helping me a lil bit but nothing lawyer wise.
He is planning to do this without lawyers just file and we decide him and I what's gonna be done. He thinks a ton of things that make no sense. He thought he was going to come to NY get our stuff in from the army drive to canada pick me up take me to NY and we sort through our stuff. I nearly pissed my pants laughing and asked him if he really wants to be in the car with me ALONE for 3.5 hours lol ! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO! I told he's dreaming in Technicolor if he thinks im going anywhere alone with him again. This just goes to show what page he is on.
His phase is this I am going to blow money on this other woman and go to bars and liquor stores and her house......And I'm going to tell you that I'm not physically cheating on you just texting and flirting when he really believes I'm stupid enough to believe this especially when he made a purchase next to the DYess air force base last night.........ANd he thinks I will let it all go and just cry and be nice . He also thinks this divorce will end quickly which it won't because I"m canadian I have been informed this going to be a long and joyous adventure Could take almost a year which is fine with me cuz as long as he's still my husband he has to pay me until divorce is final.
As for a lawyer I aint giving up or irritated by anyones advice on this forum......Im irritated at my situation and at him. I'm flipping annoyed by his crazy spending as he says I have to save money to get into a house well he also has to save for my uhaul to move my stuff back to canada and he also has to pay for various other things regarding my move and life in general such as a 315 $ phone bill that's coming to bite him in the ass for his damn picture sending !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've tried to tell him that this isn't gonna be easy and this was his choice so he has to do what he has to do but he's so damn stupid and in party land hes not thinking past today. I've told him to go fucking file! he says maybe next week. OK DRAG IT ON FOREVER SURE CUZ IM JUST GONNA TAKE YOUR MONEY !
Once he files there may be more I can do but at this point he's in Limbo between army bases and on leave so it's hard to get anything done especially when I haven't gotten which unit he's heading to. Don't worry got a phone number where i can find out but yeah complicated mess.
He's such a dumb mother fucker man lol ! HOLY CRAP!
Not to change directions here, but the phrase cease all contact got me thinking about other forms of contact. From your posts it would appear that your husband is an adulterous selfish bastard. I think you are well within your rights to demand that he prove that he is free of STD's and by extension has not infected you.
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Jonzac
His last base and commander still "owns" him and must respond to all issues until he signs into his next base. They won't do much, but it will start the ball rolling and they CAN cut his leave short and order him to report to his new base ASAP, which should allow you to file there immediately.
The new Spouses Acts laws are in effect. It might be worth hiring a civilian lawyer to start looking into filing in NY. Due to the military move some rules may be suspended or changed.
Also, if he is not supporting you (i.e. spending all the money) you MUST call is former unit. Like I said he is still assigned to them until he acutally signs in...they can't let it drop. If they do, call any bases IG office to make them pay attention, they will be REQUIRED to answer an IG allegation of lack of support.
The new Spouses Acts laws are in effect. It might be worth hiring a civilian lawyer to start looking into filing in NY. Due to the military move some rules may be suspended or changed.
Also, if he is not supporting you (i.e. spending all the money) you MUST call is former unit. Like I said he is still assigned to them until he acutally signs in...they can't let it drop. If they do, call any bases IG office to make them pay attention, they will be REQUIRED to answer an IG allegation of lack of support.
Doesn't matter, he is required by law to provide her with BAH, a monthly stipend and basics of life support regardless of her situation.
---------- Post added at 03:14 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:12 PM ----------
If I were getting the run around and nobody was listening to me....I would go to the nearest Chaplain, they have the ability to support you and provide money if needed, and when a Chaplain calls the chain of command shit tends to get done.
---------- Post added at 03:14 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:12 PM ----------
If I were getting the run around and nobody was listening to me....I would go to the nearest Chaplain, they have the ability to support you and provide money if needed, and when a Chaplain calls the chain of command shit tends to get done.
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Wasabi Poptart
Absolutely this on both accounts!
Absolutely this on both accounts![/QUOTE]
Thirded.
And I had totally forgotten about the Chaplain route. Chaplains do carry a lot of weight and you don't have nearly the problem getting results with them as you might by going through the normal chain of command. However, speaking of the normal chain of command, that's probably a good place for you to be looking for results. Put a call in to his last (which as Jonzac said is still his current because he hasn't signed into his new post yet) immediate supervisor and work up from there. Call them, explain the situation, get results. If no results are to be had, you call the next up the chain, and so on and so forth. I guarantee results. Shit rolls down hill. And if you have to call up through the chain of command you get to the point where once someone finally does something, everyone below them gets in trouble for not handling the situation. IE (these are navy ranks, I'm not familiar with army but...):
Petty officer A is fucking up. Then the LPO needs to be informed.
LPO (thats leading petty officer) refuses to do anything (this is the usual because the distance between Petty Officer and LPO is usually pretty short and LPO rarely takes their duties in the area of discipline seriously) then Chief needs called.
Call his Chief. If Chief refuses to do anything then a call needs placed to Senior Chief.
Now if Senior Chief won't do anything (which is rare because Senior Chief DOES NOT want to get a call from the higher up and get in trouble for not handling this) then you hit officer ranks.
Once someone WILL do something, everyone below them gets reprimanded and it's just like a huge ball of shit getting bigger and bigger until it finally reaches your husband, lands flat on his chest and buries him.
He's a piss poor example of a Staff Sergeant.
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Wasabi Poptart
High enough to know better. 
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Iaculus
Wow - I never knew that the armed forces could give their recruits this much hell for marital infidelity.
Not that I'm objecting, mind.
Not that I'm objecting, mind.
the military takes marriage very seriously..or at least they did when I was in.
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Chibibar
I am guessing because there are marital benefits? (i.e. more pay?) so they don't want recruits abuse the system?
I am guessing because there are marital benefits? (i.e. more pay?) so they don't want recruits abuse the system?[/QUOTE]
I always considered the "marriage friendly" standpoint as a way to keep enlistment numbers up. Consider if people had to decide it was either service or marriage, you can't have both, I'd imagine you'd have a serious decline in enlistment.
So in a sense the military needs to take marriage seriously for their own good.
Now of course this is just my biased point of view representing a stand point that I actually agree with (the military is NOT family friendly, but they do make great efforts to be so where it can so long as it does not negatively effect the duty which must be served)
your mileage may vary.
C
Chibibar
I am guessing because there are marital benefits? (i.e. more pay?) so they don't want recruits abuse the system?[/QUOTE]
I always considered the "marriage friendly" standpoint as a way to keep enlistment numbers up. Consider if people had to decide it was either service or marriage, you can't have both, I'd imagine you'd have a serious decline in enlistment.
So in a sense the military needs to take marriage seriously for their own good.
Now of course this is just my biased point of view representing a stand point that I actually agree with (the military is NOT family friendly, but they do make great efforts to be so where it can so long as it does not negatively effect the duty which must be served)
your mileage may vary.[/QUOTE]
That makes sense.
W
Wasabi Poptart
I am guessing because there are marital benefits? (i.e. more pay?) so they don't want recruits abuse the system?[/QUOTE]
I always considered the "marriage friendly" standpoint as a way to keep enlistment numbers up. Consider if people had to decide it was either service or marriage, you can't have both, I'd imagine you'd have a serious decline in enlistment.
So in a sense the military needs to take marriage seriously for their own good.
Now of course this is just my biased point of view representing a stand point that I actually agree with (the military is NOT family friendly, but they do make great efforts to be so where it can so long as it does not negatively effect the duty which must be served)
your mileage may vary.[/QUOTE]
I always figured they needed to take a hard stance on infidelity to hold the service members to a high moral standard. It would make the military as a whole look bad if they did not. That's just my opinion as someone who hasn't actually served, of course.
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Wasabi Poptart
That is very true, Espy. What can happen and what actually does happen are two totally different things.
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Jonzac
Really Espy? When I had a troop that I could actually PROVE it happened, I took one stripe and suspended taking another. The only reason I didn't take 2 strips is that would have provided an unrecoverable finanicial impact to his impending child support and alimony.
Another time, I did the same punishment and the wife stayed with her spouse. The problem with these types of cases is the ability to PROVE that the adultery happened. Often times you can't and you can only punish someone for "conduct unbecoming" versus the actual adultery case.
Another time, I did the same punishment and the wife stayed with her spouse. The problem with these types of cases is the ability to PROVE that the adultery happened. Often times you can't and you can only punish someone for "conduct unbecoming" versus the actual adultery case.
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Chibibar
too bad the guy in question is not in the Air Force
even if you can't deal with him directly (not under your command) I'm sure you could have given DA the right name and direction to go.DA: don't give up yet. I know it may sound very discouraging right now but keep your chin up high and keep on truckin' You were married in the States right? So in all things, you are register where you are married.
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darkangel6988
This is very important too. Stop talking to him! You're only getting mad and frustrated when you need to be levelheaded and focus on how to get a lawyer. That's what yo need to do. There has to be a way.[/QUOTE]
Well to try to answer this all at once.........I can't get a lawyer in quebec or wa or NY ......Texas said to wait till he files then see if I can't get one. Another issue I can't file first because I don't have the money and well no one will let me file.
As for ceasing conversations with him id love to but our agreement or well his request we discuss all bank issues and I'm ok with that part because then he knows what im taking and when im taking it and it avoids fights. And well has gotten me everything I need this far. So he is paying for anyone who thought he wasn't.
I'm taking a break this week now on calling people I will resume monday . Hes out having a blast and im here talknig constantly about this stupidity so now I"m going out to have fun
---------- Post added at 10:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:06 PM ----------
Nope he's an E6 lol yep high enough to know better as Wasabi put it
---------- Post added at 10:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:07 PM ----------
Only you would ask this LOL !.........Um i suppose that's what it kinda means although I am legally married I do not have the mind frame of a married lady
---------- Post added at 10:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:08 PM ----------
HOLY PANDA'S AND PENGUIN'S !!!!!!!!!
Yeah spoke to a chaplain at Ft Drum he was like wow um and then he prayed I got mad and hung up . So that won't be happening again anytime soon ....
Although Ft hood is helpful I called Post Locator he isn't assigned to a unit yet.....He isn't signed into any military base so that is why I can't get much help. most people say to wait till he gets to NY . I'm gonna wait till Monday and call everyone again.
---------- Post added at 10:13 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:10 PM ----------
Wow - I never knew that the armed forces could give their recruits this much hell for marital infidelity.
Not that I'm objecting, mind.
Sadly can't prove he's cheating so not much chain of command is willing to do aside call him and try get things squared away so I'm done with this adultery thing. let him have his kicks ......Karma is a bitch. right now my focus is getting what i deserve financially to start over and getting rid of him in the slowest most torturous way possible
---------- Post added at 10:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:13 PM ----------
In conclusion to everything.
Thanks everyone for being so supportive and helpful. My situation sadly is all screwy cuz of me being canadian and a permanent resident. I'm officially going to enjoy my weekend and have fun. I even painted my basement which is why I haven't been around so good times ! I don't have to look at wood panelling anymore so that's a relief.
He isn't thinking about divorce nor does he get the situation he put himself in I'm sure it will sink in eventually as long as I'm still getting paid I"m not going to bother thinking of anything else. I will call around again on monday but at this point I need a break. What's really unfair is he is living it up and I'm at home upset just like he wants me to be so no more. I'm going out for a night on the town with my ladies and I'm gonna tear it up lol !.
Once again thanks so much to all of you .- Status