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Needing some Support.

May 18, 2010#1

darkangel6988

Hey Everyone,

It's been a real long time, I haven't been around on here at all the past 2 months as I was working hard to finish insanity and preparing for my husband to come home. I have 2 weeks of insanity left as it stands and the moment I had been waiting for finally happened on friday . It was the day my hubby came back.

I cannot believe that I am going to post this on a forum but I feel as though I have to reach out somewhere for support. After a long 4 months of waiting my husband came home and decided sunday night that out of the blue he no longer is in love with me and he packed up and left monday afternoon with no real reason to why.

I didn't receive a reason , nor did a fight take place, he just simply said that he loves me but is no longer in love with me. I believe something went on in Arizona that I'm not aware of and he came home and made a split decision but then again many things are racing through my mind. We had been fine for those wondering . I thought everything was ok which is probably why this makes this situation so much worse. We had had some up's and down's while he was away that worried me but never to the point of pushing me to think that he would come home and drop a bomb of this size on me.

I'm sorry I haven't been around, And I'm sorry I've missed out on things that may have happened to yall that needed support. I needed to get away and do something different . I guess now I will be doing alot different.

I am embarassed and ashamed to be typing this on here but I really feel as though I need to find support as I feel like my heart is broken and that my world is crashing down on me and it's so much to handle that the support I'm receiving at home just doesn't feel like enough.

I'd appreciate no jokes to this post . I would appreciate if someone would listen. I feel very hurt and fragile and I know I don't always get some of yall's jokes but right now jokes aren't needed. A simple hug would be accepted and appreciated.

I hope your all well and that I can come back here and have fun like I used to. Sorry to drop this on here. I just feel real alone and need some help.

May 18, 2010#2

Ross

May 18, 2010#3

Cajungal

I'm so sorry, darkangel. :hug: I can't imagine how hurt and shocked you must feel. You have my sympathies and my sincerest hope that better times will come your way. Do you live near your family?

May 18, 2010#4

darkangel6988

Cajungal said:
I'm so sorry, darkangel. :hug: I can't imagine how hurt and shocked you must feel. You have my sympathies and my sincerest hope that better times will come your way. Do you live near your family?

May 18, 2010#5

Cajungal

I'm glad you're with loved ones.

May 18, 2010#6

Chibibar

darkangel6988;386996][QUOTE=Cajungal said:
I'm so sorry, darkangel. :hug: I can't imagine how hurt and shocked you must feel. You have my sympathies and my sincerest hope that better times will come your way. Do you live near your family?

Luckily since he's felt like this and not told me in about a year he made sure he dropped me here at my mom and grandmohter's house before he went to school. I sure wish he had done this before he left. I am at my parent's house and have not made any plans yet. I am taking this time to just freak out . Will think later when I feel more able to. Thank you so much for your hugs and support. I sure could use it.[/QUOTE]

*hugs* I am glad you are with your love one. I am at a total lost of what he said. I think at this time, you should enjoy the time with your family and try to move on. I don't think you should try to figure out what is going on his head. I know it sounds kinda harsh, but right think about all the people who do care for you. I wish you good journey on your new life and your new things that you want to do.

*hugs*

May 18, 2010#7

darkangel6988

Chibibar;386999][QUOTE=darkangel6988;386996][QUOTE=Cajungal said:
I'm so sorry, darkangel. :hug: I can't imagine how hurt and shocked you must feel. You have my sympathies and my sincerest hope that better times will come your way. Do you live near your family?

*hugs*[/QUOTE]

Luckily since he's felt like this and not told me in about a year he made sure he dropped me here at my mom and grandmohter's house before he went to school. I sure wish he had done this before he left. I am at my parent's house and have not made any plans yet. I am taking this time to just freak out . Will think later when I feel more able to. Thank you so much for your hugs and support. I sure could use it.[/QUOTE]

Thanks Chibbi, I'm trying hard but it's hard not to wonder why or what I did wrong. I guess it's not important nor does it matter but it seems like if I knew why this happened i could get over it easier. Then again I shouldn't expect him to make my life easier. I do replay alot of the past 4 years in my life and we were fine. I mean for those at home who knew us they can't believe it . So i guess it makes sense that i Can't either.

He also told me I wasn't attractive which was a blow luckily I know better. I appreciate your support and I will do my very best to keep my head up and move on. One day at a time I guess.

*hugs* I am glad you are with your love one. I am at a total lost of what he said. I think at this time, you should enjoy the time with your family and try to move on. I don't think you should try to figure out what is going on his head. I know it sounds kinda harsh, but right think about all the people who do care for you. I wish you good journey on your new life and your new things that you want to do.

May 18, 2010#8

Iaculus

Ouch.

(administers creepy Internet-hugs).

Best of luck to you, and remember - humans are built to last. This may be tough, but I'm sure you can make your way through it. Oh, and I realise that it's instinctive and natural, but do try not to agonise too much over what, if anything, you did wrong. He's the one who dumped you in a horribly insensitive manner, after all.

May 18, 2010#9

darkangel6988

Iaculus said:
Ouch.

(administers creepy Internet-hugs).

Best of luck to you, and remember - humans are built to last. This may be tough, but I'm sure you can make your way through it. Oh, and I realise that it's instinctive and natural, but do try not to agonise too much over what, if anything, you did wrong. He's the one who dumped you in a horribly insensitive manner, after all.

Good timing to remind me not to agonize as I was currently just doing that.....Its like waves one minute im fine the next minute I go into meltdown and start screaming whyyyyyyy . Ill get thru it just right now sucks some serious ass. I just dont know what to do . I kinda wanna run away but he took the car

May 18, 2010#10

Chibibar

darkangel6988;387007][QUOTE=Iaculus said:
Ouch.

(administers creepy Internet-hugs).

Best of luck to you, and remember - humans are built to last. This may be tough, but I'm sure you can make your way through it. Oh, and I realise that it's instinctive and natural, but do try not to agonise too much over what, if anything, you did wrong. He's the one who dumped you in a horribly insensitive manner, after all.

[/QUOTE]

I know it easy for us to tell you "to move on" unless he explains his current position and his cryptic answer to you, there is nothing much you can do. You would end up hurting yourself trying to figure out what you did wrong. I have a feeling that you didn't do anything wrong. You are faithful and loving to him. I would bet that it was he who did wrong. What that might be? who knows. Why hurt yourself further trying to figure it out.

I think the best thing to do is talk with your family and plan out what to do next. If you need more concrete stuff, I guess you can try to figure out the basics first. Where will you live? the house still? selling it and get your own place? How are you on finances? do you need to get another job? I think it is best to concentrate on your needs right now and worry about his needs later (if ever. I wouldn't in my book)

May 18, 2010#11

Dave

I hate to say I had a feeling about this but I kinda did. He's been acting weird for a little while now, if we've been reading things correctly.

I'm sorry, hon. There's not much I can really say or do other than to let you know you have a place to vent or waste time if you need to. He's done similar things in the past and always come back so it sounds like he's not wanting to be tied down. He's in the military but that doesn't mean that he's totally grown up.

I know it hurts, but what you need to do is concentrate on yourself. I know you say you've been doing the insanity thing for you but I think you've been doing it for the wrong reasons. You have said things in the past like you wanted to look good for him, etc. Right now you are wondering what it is you did wrong and I'm here to tell you that I doubt you did anything. It sounds like he went off, had a good time and now doesn't want to have to settle down. There's nothing you can do about that. Even if he had a change of heart (again) would you be able to trust that this wouldn't happen in a month or two when he gets a wild hair again?

Stay strong, use family and friends as support and work on you for you, not for someone else. Cry your eyes out, yell into a pillow curse the stars. Get it all out. Then pick yourself up and make a life. You are still very young. You're smart, capable and you don't need a man to be complete.

Contact a lawyer and contact him/her NOW!!!

Don'ts:

Don't start drinking. You can get blitzed once in a while and be fine but don't start making it a habit.
Don't get so into Insanity that you turn into one of those muscle girls. Okay, if that's what you want it's fine but in my opinion they aren't pretty at all.
Don't stalk him or try to get him to change his mind. If there IS any chance it will push him away.
Don't wait to call that lawyer! The sooner you do it the safer your money & stuff will be.

May 18, 2010#12

Chibibar

Dave said:
I hate to say I had a feeling about this but I kinda did. He's been acting weird for a little while now, if we've been reading things correctly.

I'm sorry, hon. There's not much I can really say or do other than to let you know you have a place to vent or waste time if you need to. He's done similar things in the past and always come back so it sounds like he's not wanting to be tied down. He's in the military but that doesn't mean that he's totally grown up.

I know it hurts, but what you need to do is concentrate on yourself. I know you say you've been doing the insanity thing for you but I think you've been doing it for the wrong reasons. You have said things in the past like you wanted to look good for him, etc. Right now you are wondering what it is you did wrong and I'm here to tell you that I doubt you did anything. It sounds like he went off, had a good time and now doesn't want to have to settle down. There's nothing you can do about that. Even if he had a change of heart (again) would you be able to trust that this wouldn't happen in a month or two when he gets a wild hair again?

Stay strong, use family and friends as support and work on you for you, not for someone else. Cry your eyes out, yell into a pillow curse the stars. Get it all out. Then pick yourself up and make a life. You are still very young. You're smart, capable and you don't need a man to be complete.

Contact a lawyer and contact him/her NOW!!!

Don'ts:

Don't start drinking. You can get blitzed once in a while and be fine but don't start making it a habit.
Don't get so into Insanity that you turn into one of those muscle girls. Okay, if that's what you want it's fine but in my opinion they aren't pretty at all.
Don't stalk him or try to get him to change his mind. If there IS any chance it will push him away.
Don't wait to call that lawyer! The sooner you do it the safer your money & stuff will be.

^-- Agree. In Dave we Trust

you da man!

May 18, 2010#13

darkangel6988

Thanks Dave.....

Im not gonna drink or call him. I wanna call him I want him to say this didn't happen but I'm not weak enough to call him. I have a lil too much pride and I'm a lil too full of myself to call him and beg.
He gave me money hes not being stupid in that department. I just dont know where to start to rebuild. I will never again let my life go into seclusion like it did for the past 4 years. As now i have nothing and have to start over. I haven't called a lawyer i dont know even know if i need an american or canadian one.

To be honest i havent even though i've just cried and cried and well cried some more.

I dont know what else to say i just want the pain to stop.

May 18, 2010#14

HCGLNS

If I read this correctly, your husband is leaving you and you are now staying at your parents while he is somewhere with your car. So you have essentially surrendered to him your two largest tangible assests in your home and vehicle.

Take your home back, take your car back, change the locks on both, call a lawyer and kick his ass to the curb.

May 18, 2010#15

bhamv3

Ho... lee... shit.

May 18, 2010#16

darkangel6988

HCGLNS said:
If I read this correctly, your husband is leaving you and you are now staying at your parents while he is somewhere with your car. So you have essentially surrendered to him your two largest tangible assests in your home and vehicle.

Take your home back, take your car back, change the locks on both, call a lawyer and kick his ass to the curb.

We dont have a home as we were in the process of finding one in new york. We were supposed to go look today but obviously thats not happeneing. So there is no house. As for the car....he said if i can come up with the rest of the payment its all mine .

Luckily were not fighting over what is mine hes afraid of what illd o I think sso hes giving me everything I want. I tried to get him to leave the car here and take a bus but he wouldnt so i didnt argue.

I did withdraw 3 large sums from the bank account that he knows about and he will be paying me again on the first. He will then i guess have to pay alimony and his Bah (housing allowance) is mine till i sign papers . Which i made clear I would not sign until i felt safe and established. so im not so worried about the money and household good things. I know I shouldn't trust him but he promised he wouldn't leave me high and dry and his father assured me it woudln't happen. I also promised I wouldn't rob him blind.

May 18, 2010#17

Wasabi Poptart

I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you. I hope you get some answers as to why he's decided to leave. The "I'm not in love with you" line is total crap and usually not the reason for ending the relationship. If he was getting ready to deploy, I'd even say he could be scared that something is going to happen to him in combat and not want to put you through that pain. It could be depression. It could be a lot of things. And you deserve to know what's going on instead of just letting him run away.

May 18, 2010#18

darkangel6988

Wasabi Poptart said:
I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you. I hope you get some answers as to why he's decided to leave. The "I'm not in love with you" line is total crap and usually not the reason for ending the relationship. If he was getting ready to deploy, I'd even say he could be scared that something is going to happen to him in combat and not want to put you through that pain. It could be depression. It could be a lot of things. And you deserve to know what's going on instead of just letting him run away.

Thanks I think its depression and the fact hes about to deploy. I thought that as well. Thanks everyone its helped to talk this out.

May 18, 2010#19

Chazwozel

What a dickhead.

May 18, 2010#20

Chibibar

darkangel6988;387041][QUOTE=Wasabi Poptart said:
I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you. I hope you get some answers as to why he's decided to leave. The "I'm not in love with you" line is total crap and usually not the reason for ending the relationship. If he was getting ready to deploy, I'd even say he could be scared that something is going to happen to him in combat and not want to put you through that pain. It could be depression. It could be a lot of things. And you deserve to know what's going on instead of just letting him run away.

Thanks I think its depression and the fact hes about to deploy. I thought that as well. Thanks everyone its helped to talk this out.[/QUOTE]

It is possible, but I wouldn't bet on it. I say follow Dave's advice and make sure all your stuff is secure.

As for "Where to start?"

Finding a nice place to live would be good. an apartment?
I presume you are currently working? If not, check the want ads
Transportation: Since he took the car, can you afford to pay the rest? That is tricky part. I am not sure what to do. I would say start getting up early and use public transportation until the car issue is resolve

If you REALLY need a car, if your finances allow you to rent one or buy a used one, that might work too.

Basically start with stuff that will make you independent of him.

May 18, 2010#21

Wasabi Poptart

Honestly, I've heard quite a few of these "I'm not in love with you" stories from other Army wives when their husbands are going on a long deployment to a combat zone. I know you're getting a lot of advice here that basically is saying get a lawyer and divorce his silly ass. I personally think that he has made a rash decision and you may be following suit if you just go along with it. You need to talk to him about what's going on. If nothing else so that you know for sure if there is any chance of reconciliation or if this divorce is what you both agree on as the only route left. You are experiencing a lot of raw emotions right now and it isn't easy to always think clearly when something so devastating is thrown in your lap. Jumping right into a divorce might not be the answer, regardless of the well-meaning advice you're getting from people here. From what I've read, it sounds like you're just throwing your hands in the air and letting him get exactly what he wants. If it were me, I'd be fighting him every step of the way because I am worth more, and my marriage means more, than to be thrown away like some forgotten piece of paper. If you don't talk to him and he isn't talking to you, then nothing is going to get accomplished either way.
That's my 2 cents at least.

May 18, 2010#22

Element 117

seems like 2010 is the year for this stuff.

Get a lawyer. There's no chance he wants to come back if he really said this, so if you need a reason, do it to protect yourself. Work out, and quit smoking, and keep going through the daily routines even when you feel sad, especially then.

May 18, 2010#23

Hylian

That really sucks DK

I am glad to that you are with your family/loved ones right now. As Dave and others have said don't start drinking that will just make things worse. I hope things work out for you and I hope you take comfort in your family and friends in this time. And if you need a place to vent we are always here to listen.

May 18, 2010#24

Dave

Whose name is the title of the car in? If it's in his name there's nothing you can do. If it's in both of your names there's little you can do but since he is in possession you'll need a lawyer to get possession or 1/2 the value. If it's in your name tell him you want it back now or you'll report it stolen.

May 18, 2010#25

Matt²

HCGLNS said:
If I read this correctly, your husband is leaving you and you are now staying at your parents while he is somewhere with your car. So you have essentially surrendered to him your two largest tangible assests in your home and vehicle.

Take your home back, take your car back, change the locks on both, call a lawyer and kick his ass to the curb.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

he has abandoned you I'm sorry to say. But he is also being cruel and selfish. Be praying for you, but don't let him hurt you more. See that lawyer TODAY.

May 18, 2010#26

General Specific

As I have never gone through anything even remotely similar, here is my advice: Get a lawyer, but don't stop talking to him or take any rash actions yet. Find out more info first. Obviously something with him has changed. As previously suggested, it could be that he's scared of the deployment. He could also be trying to hide infidelity. At this point, you just don't know. So, don't take any rash actions until you know for sure.

Also, don't ever feel embarrassed or ashamed of this. It isn't your fault and it wasn't your choice for this to happen. Angry, sad, and frustrated; sure, but not ashamed.

May 18, 2010#27

darkangel6988

General Specific said:
As I have never gone through anything even remotely similar, here is my advice: Get a lawyer, but don't stop talking to him or take any rash actions yet. Find out more info first. Obviously something with him has changed. As previously suggested, it could be that he's scared of the deployment. He could also be trying to hide infidelity. At this point, you just don't know. So, don't take any rash actions until you know for sure.

Also, don't ever feel embarrassed or ashamed of this. It isn't your fault and it wasn't your choice for this to happen. Angry, sad, and frustrated; sure, but not ashamed.

Thanks everyone. It just happened yesterday so for today im just gonna workout cuz i love it and wanted to become a personal trainer. I dont have a job or money or anything but he gave me a nice sum to keep me till the first and I promised to pay our bills like normal till we figure things out and he promised to provide what i needed and so far so good.

I gave a speech to him to try to save my marriage nad he wanted to leave. hes with his family so maybe that will help. I also spoke to his mother and emailed his dad and let them know how i feel and where i sstand and that i want to save this marriage. if anything so i can get a job and be more established then I am now.

I wanna make sure i put my 100% into this marriage as its what i said i would do when i married him I will stand true to my vows.
If he still wants to leave then I will contact a lawyer. I know its scary but i know him and one thing he is not is stingy so I have money he went to the bank and got it for me . I dont really want the car but he said i could have it when hes home he said i can have it all. I think i need to wait this is so quick and shocking i dont wanna jump the gun.

BUt thanks for the support and advice I sure have missed you guys.

And dave i'm not muscle woman but I did make a youtube video of this insanity journey i was doing if yall wanna check it out here's teh link I've had awesome resulst so atleast im going into to this looking fabulous lol

May 18, 2010#28

Thread Necromancer

I was afraid of this.
Don't be ashamed to post here. Despite our quirks it's a good little (dysfunctional) family and friends mode thing we have going on here. When my (ex)wife did this same thing to me the forums was the first place I came to after the bottle. I should have been here before the bottle.

I'm sorry for you.

May 18, 2010#29

rabbitgod

I like the dog about 3 min in. He's just standing there all WTF??

May 18, 2010#30

Element 117

looove the music.

May 18, 2010#31

Shegokigo

You should probably read part of my "Single Again" thread Dark. I'm going through nearly the EXACT same thing. 7 year relationship suddenly over because they suddenly "Love you but not in love with you" bullshit.

You can see my progress over the course of 2 months in the thread, if anyone knows what you're going through, I can relate on alot of levels.

May 18, 2010#32

figmentPez

*hugs*

May 18, 2010#33

drawn_inward

Good luck! Keep talking about it on here and IRL. You'll bust through the other side a better and stronger person.

May 18, 2010#34

Chazwozel

What a dickhead.

May 18, 2010#35

darkangel6988

Yep !

May 18, 2010#36

sixpackshaker

I'm a little late, but, I wish you well.

May 18, 2010#37

The Lovely Boehner

You're gonna be okay, you'll love again, and someone else will love you.

May 18, 2010#38

tegid

hugs across the ocean for you

Give yourself a couple of days of not thinking about this much, just workout, do something to keep you busy. When you get to seriously think things through, solve problems etc, I'd recommend listening to both Dave and Wasabi if you can.

May 18, 2010#39

CrimsonSoul

Sorry DA, I really don't know what to say. if you need anything feel free to ask and I'll do what I can.

May 18, 2010#40

Element 117

Shegokigo said:
You should probably read part of my "Single Again" thread Dark. I'm going through nearly the EXACT same thing. 7 year relationship suddenly over because they suddenly "Love you but not in love with you" bullshit.

You can see my progress over the course of 2 months in the thread, if anyone knows what you're going through, I can relate on alot of levels.

yeah, pretty much this. I have a huge sense of deja vu. The timing is erie, but it's happening to others as well, above and beyond those who post about it.

May 18, 2010#41

Chibibar

Xiaofang Nuren;387244][QUOTE=Shegokigo said:
You should probably read part of my "Single Again" thread Dark. I'm going through nearly the EXACT same thing. 7 year relationship suddenly over because they suddenly "Love you but not in love with you" bullshit.

You can see my progress over the course of 2 months in the thread, if anyone knows what you're going through, I can relate on alot of levels.

May 18, 2010#42

darkangel6988

Chibibar;387246][QUOTE=Xiaofang Nuren;387244][QUOTE=Shegokigo said:
You should probably read part of my "Single Again" thread Dark. I'm going through nearly the EXACT same thing. 7 year relationship suddenly over because they suddenly "Love you but not in love with you" bullshit.

You can see my progress over the course of 2 months in the thread, if anyone knows what you're going through, I can relate on alot of levels.

yeah, pretty much this. I have a huge sense of deja vu. The timing is erie, but it's happening to others as well, above and beyond those who post about it.[/QUOTE]

it is kinda creepy... makes you think if stuff comes in Threes.[/QUOTE]

Yeah its creepy i hear alot of people's lives and relationships are falling apart . I'm doing ok this evening . Im having 1 glass of wine. and I worked out so im proud of that. I'm a lil sad but I'll live I'm spending my time on yahoo chatting about stupidity so thats helping.

May 18, 2010#43

Element 117

it happens every day, its just more raw when it happens to you and the people in your social circles. seems like 2010 is the year of the clean slate.

May 18, 2010#44

Philosopher B.

So much adversity hereabouts of late.

*HUG*

May 18, 2010#45

darkangel6988

Thanks for the hugs

May 18, 2010#46

North_Ranger

I tried to doodle you a cute teddy bear hug, but instead I got a teddy bear that looks like Pedo Bear's creepy stalker cousin.

So I'm just gonna give ya this...

I'm not the prayin' type, but you'll be in my thoughts.

May 18, 2010#47

Espy

We are praying for you here as well DA, you take care of yourself and vent all you want here. Watch out for hugging tigers though because THEY ARE TIGERS!

May 18, 2010#48

darkangel6988

Thanks can't sleep going to try now though

May 18, 2010#49

Bumble the Boy Wonder

Here's some more hugs!

May 19, 2010#50

Tiger Tsang

That's not a hug, that's just enjoying a big breakfast.

/hug's dark

and I'm not sure if this is gonna come off bad or not, but after looking back through your posts after seeing Dave and folks talking about you having some up's and down's, be glad you didn't end up starting a family with this cretin.

May 19, 2010#51

Dusty668

Sorry to hear this happened to you, you didn't deserve such a rip off like that. Hang in there and gather yourself with your family though, you can take it. With that routine of yours, you'll prolly be able to take him to the curb shortly!:laugh:

Love the way the camera shakes at 3:50. Like Aiiiieeeeee!!! DarkAngel is attacking RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!

All you need is a mini Raymond Burr to go riding by in a jeep.

Hang in there.

May 19, 2010#52

darkangel6988

Dusty668 said:
Sorry to hear this happened to you, you didn't deserve such a rip off like that. Hang in there and gather yourself with your family though, you can take it. With that routine of yours, you'll prolly be able to take him to the curb shortly!:laugh:

Love the way the camera shakes at 3:50. Like Aiiiieeeeee!!! DarkAngel is attacking RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!

All you need is a mini Raymond Burr to go riding by in a jeep.

Hang in there.

That made me laugh quite a bit so thanks for that.

Thanks to all of you for the support and hugs and for making me feel like this isn't my fault . It helps more then you'll ever know. On the bright side I managed to wake up today and not cry but I only slept 4 hours.......I guess it's a baby step. I don't feel as panicked as I did yesterday now I just am numb. This is kinda an awkward process not so sure what to do with myself . I think ill drink coffee and eat and then try to sleep again and I'll just focus on hanging out here at home where I stay out of trouble and doing insanity. Luckily I have daily visitors that pop by to see me. ONce again thank you all so much for making this moment in my life a lil bit easier.

May 19, 2010#53

Chibibar

DA: At least you talk with his parents, did you find out what is going on or are they going with their son's decision? If they are, then he probably have talk to them already about it and there probably not much you can do to save it (just my opinion)

If that is the case, I believe that you should change out your pin number, credit card (if any) anything that is shared. I know you said that you can trust him, but I'm a little paranoid at times. When a person just come out of the blue and do this to you, that is not a good sign in my opinion so take all the precaution you can.

I know it sounds harsh, but we are trying to look out for our own. Even if it is an internet forum. Y'all are my virtual family

May 19, 2010#54

Overflight

*hugs*

Sorry for the late response, I haven't checked General in a while. I'm not very good at giving advice but luckily everyone else seems to have it covered. Hope everything works out and I wish you the best of luck.

May 19, 2010#55

darkangel6988

Yeah I hear what yall are saying.....We share the bank I got all my money out that we agreed on. So I can't change that....WE don't have anything else in both our names cuz of me being canadian getting my name on stuff was hard. I thought today i'd feel better but sadly I feel worse.
I'm now at the point of constanlty asking myself why . Your right too it does drive you crazy......
I won't resort to drinking but did have a couple last night I slept fairly ok except not long enough . Don't worry though I'll stick to my workouts they are more fun when i actually have the drive to do em.
Um I guess i could see a lawyer but I kinda don't want to cuz it makes this shit a lil to real for me to be able to handle. I can't believe this is now my life and that this is happening. I keep hoping I'll wake up and it will all have been a bad dream

That's all I have for now. not a good moment right now .

May 19, 2010#56

Chibibar

darkangel6988 said:
Yeah I hear what yall are saying.....We share the bank I got all my money out that we agreed on. So I can't change that....WE don't have anything else in both our names cuz of me being canadian getting my name on stuff was hard. I thought today i'd feel better but sadly I feel worse.
I'm now at the point of constanlty asking myself why . Your right too it does drive you crazy......
I won't resort to drinking but did have a couple last night I slept fairly ok except not long enough . Don't worry though I'll stick to my workouts they are more fun when i actually have the drive to do em.
Um I guess i could see a lawyer but I kinda don't want to cuz it makes this shit a lil to real for me to be able to handle. I can't believe this is now my life and that this is happening. I keep hoping I'll wake up and it will all have been a bad dream

That's all I have for now. not a good moment right now .

*hugs*

May 19, 2010#57

Dave

You are not alone. This has happened to a lot of people in the past. I know you are feeling lost and alone. Maybe you should try and find a board for military wives. They might have some good advice as military pressures are very, very hard on marriages.

If you can't find a military spouse support network I'd look for a therapist in your area. Just remember that there's nothing you did and this is his choice.

May 19, 2010#58

Wasabi Poptart

In addition to the sites I PM'd you with yesterday, I'd also add http://forums.armywives.com/forums/index.php to the list. I belonged to their Navy wives forum until I got banned. It was really helpful though some of the wives were pretty snarky at times.

May 19, 2010#59

Hylian

I have witnessed the effects this type of situation can have one someone (A family member has had a similar experience). Now I know it has been said before but you need to embrace your family right now. In no way should you blame yourself for what happened.

You definitely need to talk to someone (trusted family member, therapist, support group,insane forum members, etc) bottling up what your feeling will only make things worse. Do not try to drown out what your feeling by drinking,sleeping all day,etc. I know you don;t want to think about what has happened cause you still hope things can be worked out (and I hope things will work out) but you need to contact a lawyer and at least look at your options. You need to plan for the worse but hope for the best.

One thing many people don;t understand is that planning for something does not mean you hope it will happen it just means you are acknowledging the situation and planning for every contingency. And once again I hope everything works out for you and I hope you can find some comfort and piece during this horrible and trying time.

*hug*

May 19, 2010#60

Thread Necromancer

Unfortunately as far as military marriages go, these events are far too common. As an ex military spouse myself I can count on one hand the number of military marriages that I came in contact with over almost nine years which actually lasted. And even though the military has taken a lot of strides to make itself more family friendly, they do not go out of their way to help you in this time. You have to hunt for that yourself, and a lawyer will help, a lot. If you have a base (and are still in possession of your ID card, please tell me you didn't give that to him) there are a lot of resources available to you. Seek out the nearest legal office on a base or even associated with your husbands branch. They can help you through this process and give you guidance on many matters.

And if you have ANY questions, you know how to reach me.

May 19, 2010#61

IronBrig4

Sorry that I'm a bit late; I just moved back home from Hawaii and am readjusting. My advice is to keep talking about it if you feel like doing so. It'll let you blow off steam and will help all the stress to eventually dissipate. You'll feel like talking about it a lot at first, but then you'll gradually start talking about other things and that will be the sign that you're beginning to heal. It'll take weeks, or even months, but you'll recover in time.

May 19, 2010#62

darkangel6988

Thanks...I don't have much to say I feel kinda numb and really fucked up .

May 19, 2010#63

Officer_Charon

The most important thing you have to keep in your mind is that it's nothing that you did or didn't do. He came to this realization through his own process, not because of something that you've done to upset him. And, for whatever reason, he's taking the quick and easy way out by not talking about it/giving himself a chance to get used to life with you again/pulling his head from his posterior, and he's projecting any frustration he's feeling onto you. This has the added benefit, in his mind, of giving him an excuse out of everything.'

As previously stated, just because they're adults doesn't mean they're grown up. Too many service members treat it like a chance to extend their teenage years, and it disgusts me every single time I see something like this.

I'm sorry hon. *hugs*

May 19, 2010#64

darkangel6988

So I spoke to him.... I feel better. He told me it wasn't my fault and we talked alot of things over so I feel like I can officially cry because it's sunk in that I'm going to lose him. I will no longer fight for him and I'm going to Jag he gave me the phone number. I'm just glad he was able to fess up like a man and take the blame. some may say I live in a dream land but this talk and hearing him say it wasn't my fault made me feel better and I feel like i can spend tonight grieving rather then racking my brain. Yall are so good to me and I appreciate it you listening and holding me up when I feel like im drowning.

May 19, 2010#65

Wasabi Poptart

I have to agree that it is better to hear right from the person that you didn't do anything wrong versus not knowing what happened. *hugs* If you need anything, just drop me a PM.

May 19, 2010#66

Element 117

*hugs*

May 19, 2010#67

Cheesy1

Even though you know you are in the right and have done nothing wrong, it still doesn't make the pain any less. I can sympathize. Just believe that things happen for a reason and that karma is a bitch, if that helps at all.

May 19, 2010#68

Cajungal

I'm glad y'all got to speak so you could get some closure. :hug:

May 19, 2010#69

Shegokigo

Speaking really helped in my situation so I know it helped in yours. Just keep up the working out, it feels DAMN good to fit back into clothes, it feels DAMN good to make heads turn, and it feels DAMN good when the next person you find tells you that "The physical is DEFINITELY there". :biggrin:- :thumbsup:

May 19, 2010#70

darkangel6988

Thanks yall I'm gonna keep it up i have 2 weeks left then I have P90x to do . I'll continue my beachbody coaching it makes me some money and i like the people i coach. It's all a positive thing . I think it was meant to happen when i saw the insanity infomercial. I have 11 days left and I did it! All 63 days of it !

Sadly i started smoking again but I'll give that another try soon too !

May 19, 2010#71

Jay

I'm sorry Shawna. You have my sympathies and my sincerest hope that better things will come your way. Dave's advice is solid.

May 20, 2010#72

darkangel6988

Jay said:
I'm sorry Shawna. You have my sympathies and my sincerest hope that better things will come your way. Dave's advice is solid.

Thanks Jay I appreciate it very much .

I feel better today although I was woken up rather early by my mother. One day at a time, one tiny step at a time. Talking with him helped me a little bit. I don't have my mind racing anymore. I'm still in a lot of pain but now that my head has stopped racing I feel a lil better. Thanks to everyone for being supportive. Talking here has really helped get me through the past few days. Your all very awesome people.

May 20, 2010#73

Jonzac

Well. I don't know what service he's in. As a Air Force Squadron Commander, I can tell you I had this happen to several of the enlisted folks in my sqaudron.

Sounds like he went overseas for 4 months and came back a different person, which can happen...but as a commander leads me to believe that something happened over there that shouldn't have.

Remember this is Air Force specific titles, but all Services have the same functions.

1. Contact the JAG. You will have a limited time to get on base before the divorce and you won't be able to afterwards. They can explain all of that
2. Contact the bases Family Readiness Center. They have seen this before and will have options for you to pursue.
3. Contact his squadron's First Sergeant. Two reasons. 1) The First Sergeant has all the contacts needed to help you get to the functions on base that can help you (like how long your insurance will last for example) 2) If he deployed and then came back and immediately did this...the commander NEEDS TO KNOW. My guess is he hasn't told his chain of command and rapid life changes like this are a sign of other issues that the commander needs to know...you might even eventually find out the WHY..if you care anymore.
4. I'm not sure of your US citizen status or how that would be affected..or your VISA status or anything like that.

Last but not least (especially if your soon to be ex is in the Air Force) if there is anything I can do on that front. Please don't hestitate to ask.

May 21, 2010#74

darkangel6988

Jonzac said:
Well. I don't know what service he's in. As a Air Force Squadron Commander, I can tell you I had this happen to several of the enlisted folks in my sqaudron.

Sounds like he went overseas for 4 months and came back a different person, which can happen...but as a commander leads me to believe that something happened over there that shouldn't have.

Remember this is Air Force specific titles, but all Services have the same functions.

1. Contact the JAG. You will have a limited time to get on base before the divorce and you won't be able to afterwards. They can explain all of that
2. Contact the bases Family Readiness Center. They have seen this before and will have options for you to pursue.
3. Contact his squadron's First Sergeant. Two reasons. 1) The First Sergeant has all the contacts needed to help you get to the functions on base that can help you (like how long your insurance will last for example) 2) If he deployed and then came back and immediately did this...the commander NEEDS TO KNOW. My guess is he hasn't told his chain of command and rapid life changes like this are a sign of other issues that the commander needs to know...you might even eventually find out the WHY..if you care anymore.
4. I'm not sure of your US citizen status or how that would be affected..or your VISA status or anything like that.

Last but not least (especially if your soon to be ex is in the Air Force) if there is anything I can do on that front. Please don't hestitate to ask.

Thank you for all the advice. And he's army. I'll go thru your list later on. But thanks again

May 22, 2010#75

darkangel6988

Good Morning Everyone,

Ok so I wanted to update yall....

I've had about 4 days to sit and think about this , I've been through every emotion imaginable. And I've even had him stoop as low to make me believe he may be making a mistake. After our phone conversation yesterday he is still trying to toy with my head. He's becoming very childish and all about himself and throwing tons of blame on me for things that are so miniscule it's ridiculous ! so I'm officially MAD !

He hasn't filed yet but won't file in New York I believe this is because it's easier to get a divorce in Texas which would mean quicker its over with quicker he doesn't have to pay me. When I asked if he could file in New York where I'm closer to the state he threw a fit of panick asking why as if I was I was implying I had checked divorce laws so I'm now beginning to see that he doesn't think I'm gonna do this the easy way. Sadly I need his money for atleast the next 6 months to a year to be able to reestablish and rebuild my life. He keeps saying he doesn't want this dirty but I know he's planning behind my back I feel it in my gut.

I need some resources here . I don't know where to go or what to do. I will join the forums suggested to me by people here. I will ask around all weekend I will live on this computer until I find out something. If someone here knows how a military divorce works in the state of Texas or New York or if I can do it in Quebec Canada...let me know if you have yahoo or aim messenger so that that way I can talk to you and figure out if its' in my best interest to file first and get some advice from someone who knows something.

If he can't be good to me which obviously he can't Then I aint about to lay down and let him run me over and leave me nothing. We have a shit load of household goods....I am not about to lose them all along with not being paid and lose the car to top it off. I'm officially over the WHY ME part and the self pity and I'm ready to get this shit rolling so if anyone can offer help I'd appreciate it.

I know he withdrew 300$ from the bank and is still using his debit card for purchases which leaves me thinking thats for the divorce. Doesn't seem like enough money for one but at this point i don't trust him at all and shouldn't have to to begin with but due to shock it was hard to comprehend him not having my back . My fear is I don't have enough money to do anything... considering i have none but what he left me to go off of......I'm afraid if I file first I'm going to lose what money he did give me and I need to hang on to it tightly to start my new life.

Any advice would be great . Not that the advice already given wasn't great I'm just in a better state to listen now.

May 22, 2010#76

Hailey Knight

I think going back to Dave's posts would be a good start, because he had some good advice about lawyering up, which you need to do ASAP.

I'm finding this thread late. I'm sorry this happened to you, DA. It is good seeing that you've been able to step back from the situation now and see the big picture, that you have to defend yourself here. That shows a lot of strength.

"Love you, but no longer in love with you" is a load of idiocy. Even if the person means it. No one is going to be "in love" with someone they're with constantly on and on. A person cannot keep that intensity going 24/7, you would run yourself ragged. There are months-long periods of "in love" and then you drop out of it for a little while. Eventually, you are pulled back in. Sometimes both people feel in love at the same time, sometimes it's one and not the other, flip-flopping. But the excuse of "no longer in love with you" as a break-up is stupid as hell. I have to wonder if he understands what a marriage is.

May 22, 2010#77

Silver Jelly

Man, after all this time I still don't know what to say other that I'm sorry and that I hope it all gets better soon.

May 22, 2010#78

General Specific

Talk to your lawyer! Let them know what he's doing, what he's trying to do, etc. They will tell you what you need to know and how to proceed.

I feel that it is unreasonable for him to file in Texas when you are in New York. He is going to file and expects you to fly down there when you have no income? Sounds like he's trying to force a summary judgment in his favor by making it difficult for you to show up. If he "doesn't want this dirty" then why not file in New York right away? Because he wants to get the most out of it while paying you the least. Don't hold out hope for him to give you money out of the goodness of his heart, don't expect him to willingly pay a dime, force him to. Talk to your lawyers as soon as you can. I'd say call them today, leave them a message so they can call you back. He's probably already gotten lawyers and may be following their advice on how to handle this to his best advantage. Do the same.

May 22, 2010#79

Chibibar

Different state has different law in terms of alimony. I think there is a cap in certain states (some are higher/lower than others) If he is panicking, then he is planning something. Try to get a lawyer and really talk about this. You will need legal council at this point. I am no lawyer, but I do know that each state does have their laws in terms of alimony (a friend of mine is being clean dry cause she makes more than he, but she divorce in New Mexico and got like 40% of his income even when he show the court in Texas that he barely has enough to survive, but no luck. He is almost done paying her off now)

I know you don't want to "screw" your soon to be ex-husband, but he is obligated to help you and I feel (gut feeling) that he is trying to weasel out of paying at least long term.

May 22, 2010#80

IronBrig4

My legal education doesn't extend beyond constitutional law, but get a lawyer. Right now. Call up the JAG.

May 22, 2010#81

Wasabi Poptart

First, Do you have your military dependent's ID card? If not, you need to make sure you are enrolled in DEERS (Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System) and that he has added you to his "page 2". If you are not enrolled in DEERS, then the military does not recognize you as his spouse. Any benefits you are entitled to, like access to services on base (JAG for one) and Tricare health insurance, you will not be able to use or have access to. Even though you are separated, you are still entitled to those benefits until your divorce is finalized. After the divorce is final, you will no longer be able to use them. One way to make sure you are enrolled in DEERS is to contact his command. There is also a number you can call to talk with a DEERS representative: 1-800-538-9552. If you are not enrolled in DEERS, I'm not exactly sure what you can do since then you wouldn't even have an ID card to get on a base. This might be where it's a good idea to talk with @Jonzac: since he may be able to give you more information.

May 22, 2010#82

Thread Necromancer

Since I'm assuming you are definitely enrolled in DEERS I'm just hoping you didn't give him your ID card. After that, the advice I gave you before is still applicable. Get yourself down to the nearest base and consult the legal office. As for money, you are still married and therefore still entitled to utilize anything in the joint bank account you guys hold. My recommendation of course is to just be reasonable with your expenses though so it can't come back to haunt you. When two people say they are divorcing it does not say that one of them can not use the bank account. That isn't done until the divorce proceedings.
Definitely do not let him file in Texas as you will have to make an appearance. If you do not you'll have to have a lawyer make one for you. Either way, that's a huge amount of cash to be spending. If I'm not mistaken, the state you are required to file in is the state of your current residency. You will need to look that up though. But if you can file in New York, do it.

And as I told you before, it is always best to file first. Being the first to file means you present your case right away. The person filing will from now on be called the petitioner. The respondent (individual who is obviously responding to the petitioners filing) is only allowed to get their say in at this point in time. Then the petitioner gets to file more paperwork to either refute, explain further, or just provide more info before a hearing is had. The respondent does not get another chance until the actual hearing. Then at the hearing it goes the same way. Petitioner first to make the case before the judge, respondent replies, petitioner gets another chance and then the judge makes decision. The respondent gets the short end of the stick in that matter, so it's best to file first. At least, that's the way it is in WA and I'm assuming it's pretty standard in that regard across the board.

May 22, 2010#83

SpecialKO

I'm very late to this one, and you've gotten superb advice from others, so all I can say is that I'm so sorry circumstances have come to where they are, and hopefully they can still work out as best as they can.

I think it's pretty clear that we're all here rooting for you!

May 24, 2010#84

darkangel6988

Well I wish I could come on here and say this situation has got better but it hasn't It's tripled in it's horrendousness and I'm officially going to need years of cancelling for trust issues and anger management for the rage that is pumping through my body.

I can't say much but I'll sum it up real quick........I fear thsi post can be found.......So I'll word this carefully.

Went in his email found sent emails of pics of himself to another woman her profile states shes in the same town hes in at this very moment. Her status says can't wait to be in your arms again. I sign up online get on our joint cell phone account and print out 30 pages of textings to 2 different females. To top it off I called every number on the damn page and 15 of them were escort services. Oh yes if I thought my heart ached before It will eventually hurt 50 times more .

I'm so pumped with anger and adrenaline I haven't even processed that bit of information. He found out I knew we spoke and he admitted it then imediately cut off my phone.

I won't say which pieces of advice I'm taking in here not many yet trying desperately to move my ass but I haven't got help yet. Luckily today is monday so it should be easier to get something going.

I am aware this isn't enough for adultery in the military.......But At this point I'm thinking abandonment and mental cruelty would work wonders. Oh and have i mentionned that my anxiety is now officially thru the roof.

All i have to say is GAME ON MOTHER FUCKER !

May 24, 2010#85

tegid

Shit...

Try to be calm, take the necessary measures, and if it helps think that the situation hasn't really changed from 2 days ago, but now you don't have any uncertainty about what happened. He's an ass :mad:

May 24, 2010#86

Ross

Damn.

Just remember to act on logic, and know that every action has a consequence. The worst thing you can do in this situation is do something that will end up putting you in a worse position than where you are now.

On that note, I'd take this new information to a lawyer ASAP, and also make sure that whatever information you use in court wasn't obtained illegally (for instance, don't use the e-mails as evidence unless you can prove you accessed it legally). I'm not sure if I'm talking out of my ass on that point, but I believe that what I said is factual.

WHERE IS YOUR LAWYER?!? GET ONE!

STOP READING NOW. GET A LAWYER ON THIS ASAP.

May 24, 2010#87

darkangel6988

Ross said:
Damn.

Just remember to act on logic, and know that every action has a consequence. The worst thing you can do in this situation is do something that will end up putting you in a worse position than where you are now.

On that note, I'd take this new information to a lawyer ASAP, and also make sure that whatever information you use in court wasn't obtained illegally (for instance, don't use the e-mails as evidence unless you can prove you accessed it legally). I'm not sure if I'm talking out of my ass on that point, but I believe that what I said is factual.

WHERE IS YOUR LAWYER?!? GET ONE!

STOP READING NOW. GET A LAWYER ON THIS ASAP.

Oh no worries I may be mother fucking mad but I aint a fool. I'm cool and calm and collected ! I know exactly what I've done and haven't obtained anything illegally. We share an email account. Both our names are on the email that i went thru. Also phone records my phone was connected to that as well I could go thru my own phone records as it was a family joint account. So no worries I won't do anything to fuck my situation. I will remain calm and sit here patiently now and wait for 8 and 9 am when things open. Then It's game on........Once again as mad as I'm coming off in this email please rest assured I'm a very very smart girl when it comes to staying calm and advancing myself when needed. I'm going to do everything 100% by the book to cover my ass because hes stepping in shit left and right and spending thru our bank like he's having a party.

I am not touching the bank , I am being responsible. I am not out blowing money. But If he's gonna continue to blow it bank records will show he's off shopping and not just for himself and his daughter. I'm gonna get mine if it takes everything I have I'm going to come out on top in this situation no worries about that.

May 24, 2010#88

Jonzac

I CAN guarantee you that if you have proof, you soon-to-be ex is looking at an Letter of Reprimand, minimum...probably an Art 15 and loss of stripe..if not just General Discharge. You don't have to catch him in the damn act of putting it in to be convicted of adultary.

You can screw him to the wall in the military because of this...downside...he may get kicked out and that would affect the amount of alimony you could get paid. If the gal in the pictures is also in the military, then it truely is GAME OVER for him...assuming his commander has at least one bone of INTEGRITY in his body...and even if he doesn't someone in the chain of command will.

Have your lawyer contact the JAG if you want to head down that road...your lawyer will give you better advice on that.

On a personnal note. I'm sorry this has happened, no one deserves this. As a guy, I say nail his ass to the wall. As a commander, I want him out of my military...I can't stand the lack of fucking integrity.

May 24, 2010#89

darkangel6988

Jonzac said:
I CAN guarantee you that if you have proof, you soon-to-be ex is looking at an Letter of Reprimand, minimum...probably an Art 15 and loss of stripe..if not just General Discharge. You don't have to catch him in the damn act of putting it in to be convicted of adultary.

You can screw him to the wall in the military because of this...downside...he may get kicked out and that would affect the amount of alimony you could get paid. If the gal in the pictures is also in the military, then it truely is GAME OVER for him...assuming his commander has at least one bone of INTEGRITY in his body...and even if he doesn't someone in the chain of command will.

Have your lawyer contact the JAG if you want to head down that road...your lawyer will give you better advice on that.

On a personnal note. I'm sorry this has happened, no one deserves this. As a guy, I say nail his ass to the wall. As a commander, I want him out of my military...I can't stand the lack of fucking integrity.

See thats my only problem the pics are of himself that hes sending out to girls not of the girl. One girl though is from Dyess air force base her name is Jessica I got that much from the phone records.

I dont know if i have enough to adultery but I sure as hell have enough for mental cruelty . Hell I already had an anxiety disorder ....now i dont even wanna think how my mental state will be when i wake up and realize this really has happened to me and my life. Stupid asshole ! sorry just venting~

May 24, 2010#90

Jonzac

Dyess, nice Air Force base with B-1 bombers. Was your soon-to-be ex in Al Udied, Qatar? You could probably put the screws to her as well, if she's military.

Definately talk to the lawyer before you do that, although I know he will be trying to seperate the divorce from the military as much as possible to ensure the adultary thing doesn't come up to the JAG or his commander.

The mental cruelty thing probably won't fly in a military court, but it might in a civilian court.

If there is anything else I can do, or your lawyer has questions...post'em here and we'll do our best to answer them.

May 24, 2010#91

Element 117

darkangel6988 said:
All i have to say is GAME ON MOTHER FUCKER !

May 24, 2010#92

Chibibar

I am so sorry to hear the new info you got. I say stay in contact with the lawyer and work with him/her until this is resolve. Just in case he might be lurking

I wish you luck and nail that bastard to the wall.

May 24, 2010#93

Wasabi Poptart

I am willing to bet he will say he let someone else use his phone and he had no idea what numbers were being called.

May 24, 2010#94

Hylian

That really sucks DA

I hope you can nail his a** to the wall and string him up to dry.

May 24, 2010#95

General Specific

See? We told you it wasn't your fault. Now go and show him the errors of his way. Make him the posterboy for why you don't want to cheat on your spouse while away.

Also, I have been advocating patience in dealing with him, but that is over. And as far as the other woman (women) go, fuck 'em. If they didn't know, if he lied to them as well, it is their job to defend themselves at this point. Especially if they are also military. Do not contact them, etc., let your and their lawyers deal with that. But absolutely do not waste any more time in contacting your lawyers. He fucked you over, now it's your turn. Make it last.

May 24, 2010#96

Thread Necromancer

Ya. Just going to pipe in from the experience department again. You definitely have enough to pursue adultery as far as the military is concern. And considering one of the girls is military herself, the nails are practically in the coffin so to speak.

May 24, 2010#97

Officer_Charon

Echoing everything that Jonzac said. He's pretty knowledgeable... for an officer. *wry grin, then runs*

In all seriousness, though, glad to see that you're not just gut-punched by this, you're fighting back. And it's great that you're not being vindictive with the bank accounts. Keep your phone records, e-mails, the whole shebang, then make a nice file folder to present to your lawyer.

And make copies of your copies. Seriously. You never know when one might get destroyed via an inadvertent coffee spill... not that I have any experience with this...

May 24, 2010#98

Cobra Star

Yeah I'm about 100% sure when the line "I love you, I'm just not in love with you anymore" is used, it's because they moved on to someone else. Best of luck, and sounds like you're in an excellent position to see him fall apart. I envy you, my first ex fell apart (on her own) but my last one took me for all I was worth and is living pretty decently right now (I think) since I had nothing to "get her on" even though I knew she was going behind my back. Good luck.

May 24, 2010#99

Dave

This'll teach him to fuck with someone with nerd friends!

May 24, 2010#100

Element 117

So is it illegal to set your soon to be ex husband slightly on fire if done, say in international waters? Cause I have a plan for all but the last part....

May 24, 2010#101

Jay

What a douchebag.

May 24, 2010#102

Espy

Go get 'im.

May 24, 2010#103

Chibibar

Dave said:
This'll teach him to fuck with someone with nerd friends!

Heh. It helps that we have a good mix of people here. We got artists, scientists, police officer, military vets, Air Force Colonel, computer geeks, and all kinds of skills and people who actually want to help each other and look out for each other

I love this forum!

May 24, 2010#104

IronBrig4

Wow, what a jerk. Everybody else has given you the best advice, so I'll just support what they're saying. Time for some payback.

May 25, 2010#105

darkangel6988

Wow I swear MY head is about to explode.......No worries I"m hiding the pain and pushing it down for now don't have time for crying and self loathing....Nor do i have time to cry and Say am I that bad of a woman that this man is on a fucking FUCK FEST ! Ok im breathing.........

He calls me we talk about this situation after all I'm still playing that why baby how could you? In hopes he'll admit to physical contact. Not yet but now he's going out every night blowing 45 bucks at restaurants ...Sure he isn't alone and his daughter is at her mom's now I called to check. He's buying clothing from Ross probably for her.......anyhow point is he's shopping like a mad man...Saturday 350 $ Monday 180$ I got fed up and ordered my protein

That is something I order monthly so he can't say much....He tried to tell me yesterday I invaded his privacy when I went into his phone records......I said really when I hooked up the online account with the PHONE NUMBER YOU GAVE ME ON A DAMN FAMILY PLAN LOSER ! HELLLLLLLLLO I'm your wife that won't work . He then called ATT and asked them about it and they said it was so I said nervous much? Must be if your asking fucking att about it lol !. He tells me don't worry ill stop talking to them ill respect you I'm sorry I say ok thanks I appreciate it cuz id hate for us to not be friends later on when this is done LOL OMG ROFL ! well he then 5 minutes later sent the girl another picture of himself.

GOOD GRIEF !!!!!!!!!!! anyhow his ex wife asked me if all was ok I wouldn't tell her much but she told me her story when thye divorced and guess what yall? LOL he did the same thing to her!!!! she said you dont have to tell me the story now but I will tell you I'm in Abilene you just say one place he's gone to hang out at and I'll have everyone I know with their phones staking out these bars and when they see him with someone else they will snap a picture of it for you.

I just said ok but that would be pretty cool. She's pretty fed up of him doing this although I haven't confirmed it to her I just said another time another place and I'll tell you the whole story right now I have to focus and rebuild my life. BUT OMG DIRTY ASS MOFO.........Jag calling today at 930 am i'll let ya know how that goes.

May 25, 2010#106

Dave

Amorous Eyes said:
My advice is to cease all contact with him unless it is through a lawyer.

DING! DING! DING!

May 25, 2010#107

darkangel6988

Amorous Eyes said:
My advice is to cease all contact with him unless it is through a lawyer. (And do remind us, you have one, right? RIGHT!?) It is very easy to get all emotional on the phone and tell him what you are going to do next, giving him the advantage.

Get this done and over with, that is your number one priority. Then you can move on with and rebuild your life.

Don't check the email every 5 minutes just in case he mailed some girl.

Be careful what you say to mutual friends (or family, ex wives, in laws, etc) as they might just be pumping you for information. Especially if they all go "Yes you are so right, so what are you going to do if he..." <-- First clue.

He probably calls you to find out what you are doing and what your next move is so he can plan ahead.
If you think he doesn't have legal stuff ready to go you are almost certainly wrong.

In other words: stop focusing on the drama surrounding the more important issue.
Legal up and get this done now!

Haven't told anyone anything don't worry...Waiting for a phone call now . As for talking to him no chance at me telling him anything about what i'm doing NEVER lol don't care if he says im the best chick on the planet I'm way over his crap.
Slow process but trying desperately to get lawyer waiting on army now. Will update soon.

May 25, 2010#108

HCGLNS

darkangel6988 said:
As for talking to him no chance at me telling him anything about what i'm doing NEVER lol don't care if he says im the best chick on the planet I'm way over his crap.

You're talking about someone who has a very successfull track record in deceiving and manipulating you. Lawyer up.

May 25, 2010#109

Chibibar

HCGLNS;389431][QUOTE=darkangel6988 said:
As for talking to him no chance at me telling him anything about what i'm doing NEVER lol don't care if he says im the best chick on the planet I'm way over his crap.

You're talking about someone who has a very successfull track record in deceiving and manipulating you. Lawyer up.[/QUOTE]

I hope you get a good lawyer

May 25, 2010#110

darkangel6988

Chibibar;389451][QUOTE=HCGLNS;389431][QUOTE=darkangel6988 said:
As for talking to him no chance at me telling him anything about what i'm doing NEVER lol don't care if he says im the best chick on the planet I'm way over his crap.

You're talking about someone who has a very successfull track record in deceiving and manipulating you. Lawyer up.[/QUOTE]

I hope you get a good lawyer

I know they cost, but it is well worth it.

I always think everyone have good intentions, but I don't think this person (DA's soon to be ex) has good intentions. He is trying to figure out how to cut his loses with minimal damage. I do believe he KNOWS he is screwed in more ways than one. From what I have read on this thread from people who served, he can REALLY be screwed in more ways than one.

I have to agree to keep information to a minimum and print/copy everything and make a folder for yourself to KEEP and one to give to lawyer (exact copy) make sure the lawyer is on your side and read everything that is given to you. You don't want to get caught with fine prints and such.[/QUOTE]

Not getting any help ! I'm getting irritated..........Can't get a lawyer in QC because I haven't lived here a year....Haven't lived in NY so that's out can't get one in WA cuz well they didn't say and well Texas I guess I have to wait for him to file cuz it's almost seeming impossible that I can. On the bright side I'll get money on payday so for this week I'm good. This situation is driving me up the wall !

May 25, 2010#111

Null

You're getting irritated because a bunch of strangers on the internet are giving you good advice - to get a lawyer, since this will be a legal battle - and you're saying you can't? Just out of curiousity, what did you think people were going to suggest?

May 25, 2010#112

Chibibar

darkangel6988 said:
Not getting any help ! I'm getting irritated..........Can't get a lawyer in QC because I haven't lived here a year....Haven't lived in NY so that's out can't get one in WA cuz well they didn't say and well Texas I guess I have to wait for him to file cuz it's almost seeming impossible that I can. On the bright side I'll get money on payday so for this week I'm good. This situation is driving me up the wall !

I am at a loss on why you can't get a lawyer. I am sure you can get at least legal council if possible. It is strange that you can't get one. Dave you got any advice?

May 25, 2010#113

Wasabi Poptart

Did you establish residency in Washington?

May 25, 2010#114

HCGLNS

Null said:
You're getting irritated because a bunch of strangers on the internet are giving you good advice - to get a lawyer, since this will be a legal battle - and you're saying you can't? Just out of curiousity, what did you think people were going to suggest?

Chibibar;389858][QUOTE=darkangel6988 said:
Not getting any help ! I'm getting irritated..........Can't get a lawyer in QC because I haven't lived here a year....Haven't lived in NY so that's out can't get one in WA cuz well they didn't say and well Texas I guess I have to wait for him to file cuz it's almost seeming impossible that I can. On the bright side I'll get money on payday so for this week I'm good. This situation is driving me up the wall !

May 26, 2010#115

darkangel6988

HCGLNS;389875][QUOTE=Null said:
You're getting irritated because a bunch of strangers on the internet are giving you good advice - to get a lawyer, since this will be a legal battle - and you're saying you can't? Just out of curiousity, what did you think people were going to suggest?

Chibibar;389858][QUOTE=darkangel6988 said:
Not getting any help ! I'm getting irritated..........Can't get a lawyer in QC because I haven't lived here a year....Haven't lived in NY so that's out can't get one in WA cuz well they didn't say and well Texas I guess I have to wait for him to file cuz it's almost seeming impossible that I can. On the bright side I'll get money on payday so for this week I'm good. This situation is driving me up the wall !

I am at a loss on why you can't get a lawyer. I am sure you can get at least legal council if possible. It is strange that you can't get one. Dave you got any advice?[/QUOTE]

The laws in the province of Quebec are very unique. She cannot qualify for legal aid if she initiates a divorce in Quebec, so she must pay for a lawyer out of pocket or hope that her husband initiates it.[/QUOTE]

I'm not worried about the out of pocket payment the problem is ............To initiate divorce myself in Quebec I have to have lived here for a year which I haven't. I didn't establish residency in Washington so no one in the army can help me out there because he's signed out of WA. I can't get any help in NY because he hasn't signed into that post yet because he is on leave. I can't get anyting in AZ as I never went there and he signed out there too. Texas Army base is helping me a lil bit but nothing lawyer wise.

He is planning to do this without lawyers just file and we decide him and I what's gonna be done. He thinks a ton of things that make no sense. He thought he was going to come to NY get our stuff in from the army drive to canada pick me up take me to NY and we sort through our stuff. I nearly pissed my pants laughing and asked him if he really wants to be in the car with me ALONE for 3.5 hours lol ! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO! I told he's dreaming in Technicolor if he thinks im going anywhere alone with him again. This just goes to show what page he is on.

His phase is this I am going to blow money on this other woman and go to bars and liquor stores and her house......And I'm going to tell you that I'm not physically cheating on you just texting and flirting when he really believes I'm stupid enough to believe this especially when he made a purchase next to the DYess air force base last night.........ANd he thinks I will let it all go and just cry and be nice . He also thinks this divorce will end quickly which it won't because I"m canadian I have been informed this going to be a long and joyous adventure Could take almost a year which is fine with me cuz as long as he's still my husband he has to pay me until divorce is final.

As for a lawyer I aint giving up or irritated by anyones advice on this forum......Im irritated at my situation and at him. I'm flipping annoyed by his crazy spending as he says I have to save money to get into a house well he also has to save for my uhaul to move my stuff back to canada and he also has to pay for various other things regarding my move and life in general such as a 315 $ phone bill that's coming to bite him in the ass for his damn picture sending !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've tried to tell him that this isn't gonna be easy and this was his choice so he has to do what he has to do but he's so damn stupid and in party land hes not thinking past today. I've told him to go fucking file! he says maybe next week. OK DRAG IT ON FOREVER SURE CUZ IM JUST GONNA TAKE YOUR MONEY !

Once he files there may be more I can do but at this point he's in Limbo between army bases and on leave so it's hard to get anything done especially when I haven't gotten which unit he's heading to. Don't worry got a phone number where i can find out but yeah complicated mess.

He's such a dumb mother fucker man lol ! HOLY CRAP!

May 26, 2010#116

HCGLNS

Not to change directions here, but the phrase cease all contact got me thinking about other forms of contact. From your posts it would appear that your husband is an adulterous selfish bastard. I think you are well within your rights to demand that he prove that he is free of STD's and by extension has not infected you.

May 26, 2010#117

Jonzac

His last base and commander still "owns" him and must respond to all issues until he signs into his next base. They won't do much, but it will start the ball rolling and they CAN cut his leave short and order him to report to his new base ASAP, which should allow you to file there immediately.

The new Spouses Acts laws are in effect. It might be worth hiring a civilian lawyer to start looking into filing in NY. Due to the military move some rules may be suspended or changed.

Also, if he is not supporting you (i.e. spending all the money) you MUST call is former unit. Like I said he is still assigned to them until he acutally signs in...they can't let it drop. If they do, call any bases IG office to make them pay attention, they will be REQUIRED to answer an IG allegation of lack of support.

May 26, 2010#118

Dave

Can he claim support if he left her with family?

May 26, 2010#119

Docseverin

Doesn't matter, he is required by law to provide her with BAH, a monthly stipend and basics of life support regardless of her situation.

---------- Post added at 03:14 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:12 PM ----------

If I were getting the run around and nobody was listening to me....I would go to the nearest Chaplain, they have the ability to support you and provide money if needed, and when a Chaplain calls the chain of command shit tends to get done.

May 26, 2010#120

Cajungal

Aw yeah, GIT 'IM!

May 26, 2010#121

Wasabi Poptart

Docseverin said:
Doesn't matter, he is required by law to provide her with BAH, a monthly stipend and basics of life support regardless of her situation.

---------- Post added at 03:14 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:12 PM ----------

If I were getting the run around and nobody was listening to me....I would go to the nearest Chaplain, they have the ability to support you and provide money if needed, and when a Chaplain calls the chain of command shit tends to get done.

Absolutely this on both accounts!

May 26, 2010#122

Jay

Does this mean you're single now?

....What?

May 26, 2010#123

Thread Necromancer

Wasabi Poptart;390034][QUOTE=Docseverin said:
Doesn't matter, he is required by law to provide her with BAH, a monthly stipend and basics of life support regardless of her situation.

---------- Post added at 03:14 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:12 PM ----------

If I were getting the run around and nobody was listening to me....I would go to the nearest Chaplain, they have the ability to support you and provide money if needed, and when a Chaplain calls the chain of command shit tends to get done.

Absolutely this on both accounts![/QUOTE]

Thirded.

And I had totally forgotten about the Chaplain route. Chaplains do carry a lot of weight and you don't have nearly the problem getting results with them as you might by going through the normal chain of command. However, speaking of the normal chain of command, that's probably a good place for you to be looking for results. Put a call in to his last (which as Jonzac said is still his current because he hasn't signed into his new post yet) immediate supervisor and work up from there. Call them, explain the situation, get results. If no results are to be had, you call the next up the chain, and so on and so forth. I guarantee results. Shit rolls down hill. And if you have to call up through the chain of command you get to the point where once someone finally does something, everyone below them gets in trouble for not handling the situation. IE (these are navy ranks, I'm not familiar with army but...):

Petty officer A is fucking up. Then the LPO needs to be informed.
LPO (thats leading petty officer) refuses to do anything (this is the usual because the distance between Petty Officer and LPO is usually pretty short and LPO rarely takes their duties in the area of discipline seriously) then Chief needs called.
Call his Chief. If Chief refuses to do anything then a call needs placed to Senior Chief.
Now if Senior Chief won't do anything (which is rare because Senior Chief DOES NOT want to get a call from the higher up and get in trouble for not handling this) then you hit officer ranks.
Once someone WILL do something, everyone below them gets reprimanded and it's just like a huge ball of shit getting bigger and bigger until it finally reaches your husband, lands flat on his chest and buries him.

May 26, 2010#124

Dave

What rank is your husband?

May 26, 2010#125

Docseverin

He's a piss poor example of a Staff Sergeant.

May 26, 2010#126

Dave

E-5, huh? High enough to know a lot of people, not high enough to have much protection.

May 26, 2010#127

Wasabi Poptart

High enough to know better. :rolleyes:

May 26, 2010#128

Iaculus

Wow - I never knew that the armed forces could give their recruits this much hell for marital infidelity.

Not that I'm objecting, mind. :twisted:

May 26, 2010#129

Tinwhistler

the military takes marriage very seriously..or at least they did when I was in.

May 26, 2010#130

Chibibar

Tinwhistler said:
the military takes marriage very seriously..or at least they did when I was in.

I am guessing because there are marital benefits? (i.e. more pay?) so they don't want recruits abuse the system?

May 26, 2010#131

Thread Necromancer

Chibibar;390134][QUOTE=Tinwhistler said:
the military takes marriage very seriously..or at least they did when I was in.

I am guessing because there are marital benefits? (i.e. more pay?) so they don't want recruits abuse the system?[/QUOTE]

I always considered the "marriage friendly" standpoint as a way to keep enlistment numbers up. Consider if people had to decide it was either service or marriage, you can't have both, I'd imagine you'd have a serious decline in enlistment.
So in a sense the military needs to take marriage seriously for their own good.

Now of course this is just my biased point of view representing a stand point that I actually agree with (the military is NOT family friendly, but they do make great efforts to be so where it can so long as it does not negatively effect the duty which must be served)
your mileage may vary.

May 26, 2010#132

Chibibar

Thread Necromancer;390149][QUOTE=Chibibar;390134][QUOTE=Tinwhistler said:
the military takes marriage very seriously..or at least they did when I was in.

May 26, 2010#133

Wasabi Poptart

Thread Necromancer;390149][QUOTE=Chibibar;390134][QUOTE=Tinwhistler said:
the military takes marriage very seriously..or at least they did when I was in.

May 26, 2010#134

Espy

While their stance is "hard" on adultery in the military, according to the E-6 wife it's almost "never" that it's enforced.

May 26, 2010#135

Wasabi Poptart

That is very true, Espy. What can happen and what actually does happen are two totally different things.

May 27, 2010#136

Jonzac

Really Espy? When I had a troop that I could actually PROVE it happened, I took one stripe and suspended taking another. The only reason I didn't take 2 strips is that would have provided an unrecoverable finanicial impact to his impending child support and alimony.

Another time, I did the same punishment and the wife stayed with her spouse. The problem with these types of cases is the ability to PROVE that the adultery happened. Often times you can't and you can only punish someone for "conduct unbecoming" versus the actual adultery case.

May 27, 2010#137

Chibibar

Jonzac said:
Really Espy? When I had a troop that I could actually PROVE it happened, I took one stripe and suspended taking another. The only reason I didn't take 2 strips is that would have provided an unrecoverable finanicial impact to his impending child support and alimony.

Another time, I did the same punishment and the wife stayed with her spouse. The problem with these types of cases is the ability to PROVE that the adultery happened. Often times you can't and you can only punish someone for "conduct unbecoming" versus the actual adultery case.

too bad the guy in question is not in the Air Force

even if you can't deal with him directly (not under your command) I'm sure you could have given DA the right name and direction to go.

DA: don't give up yet. I know it may sound very discouraging right now but keep your chin up high and keep on truckin' You were married in the States right? So in all things, you are register where you are married.

May 27, 2010#138

darkangel6988

Amorous Eyes said:
I guess Quebec works a bit different, but there has to be a way for you to get a layer. You need one.

darkangel6988 said:

He is planning to do this without lawyers just file and we decide him and I what's gonna be done.

Click to expand...

Please find a way to get a lawyer and be sure to file first! This for reasons already mentioned:

Thread Necromancer said:

Definitely do not let him file in Texas as you will have to make an appearance. If you do not you'll have to have a lawyer make one for you. Either way, that's a huge amount of cash to be spending. If I'm not mistaken, the state you are required to file in is the state of your current residency. You will need to look that up though. But if you can file in New York, do it.

And as I told you before, it is always best to file first. Being the first to file means you present your case right away. The person filing will from now on be called the petitioner. The respondent (individual who is obviously responding to the petitioners filing) is only allowed to get their say in at this point in time. Then the petitioner gets to file more paperwork to either refute, explain further, or just provide more info before a hearing is had. The respondent does not get another chance until the actual hearing. Then at the hearing it goes the same way. Petitioner first to make the case before the judge, respondent replies, petitioner gets another chance and then the judge makes decision. The respondent gets the short end of the stick in that matter, so it's best to file first. At least, that's the way it is in WA and I'm assuming it's pretty standard in that regard across the board.

Click to expand...

Getting a lawyer ASAP really is the most important step right now.

And again:

Dave;389415][QUOTE=Amorous Eyes said:

My advice is to cease all contact with him unless it is through a lawyer.

Click to expand...

DING! DING! DING!

This is very important too. Stop talking to him! You're only getting mad and frustrated when you need to be levelheaded and focus on how to get a lawyer. That's what yo need to do. There has to be a way.[/QUOTE]

Well to try to answer this all at once.........I can't get a lawyer in quebec or wa or NY ......Texas said to wait till he files then see if I can't get one. Another issue I can't file first because I don't have the money and well no one will let me file.

As for ceasing conversations with him id love to but our agreement or well his request we discuss all bank issues and I'm ok with that part because then he knows what im taking and when im taking it and it avoids fights. And well has gotten me everything I need this far. So he is paying for anyone who thought he wasn't.

I'm taking a break this week now on calling people I will resume monday . Hes out having a blast and im here talknig constantly about this stupidity so now I"m going out to have fun

---------- Post added at 10:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:06 PM ----------

Dave said:
E-5, huh? High enough to know a lot of people, not high enough to have much protection.

Nope he's an E6 lol yep high enough to know better as Wasabi put it

---------- Post added at 10:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:07 PM ----------

Jay said:
Does this mean you're single now?

....What?

Only you would ask this LOL !.........Um i suppose that's what it kinda means although I am legally married I do not have the mind frame of a married lady

---------- Post added at 10:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:08 PM ----------

Docseverin said:
Doesn't matter, he is required by law to provide her with BAH, a monthly stipend and basics of life support regardless of her situation.

---------- Post added at 03:14 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:12 PM ----------

If I were getting the run around and nobody was listening to me....I would go to the nearest Chaplain, they have the ability to support you and provide money if needed, and when a Chaplain calls the chain of command shit tends to get done.

HOLY PANDA'S AND PENGUIN'S !!!!!!!!!

Yeah spoke to a chaplain at Ft Drum he was like wow um and then he prayed I got mad and hung up . So that won't be happening again anytime soon ....

Although Ft hood is helpful I called Post Locator he isn't assigned to a unit yet.....He isn't signed into any military base so that is why I can't get much help. most people say to wait till he gets to NY . I'm gonna wait till Monday and call everyone again.

---------- Post added at 10:13 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:10 PM ----------

Iaculus said:
Wow - I never knew that the armed forces could give their recruits this much hell for marital infidelity.

Not that I'm objecting, mind.

Sadly can't prove he's cheating so not much chain of command is willing to do aside call him and try get things squared away so I'm done with this adultery thing. let him have his kicks ......Karma is a bitch. right now my focus is getting what i deserve financially to start over and getting rid of him in the slowest most torturous way possible

---------- Post added at 10:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:13 PM ----------

In conclusion to everything.

Thanks everyone for being so supportive and helpful. My situation sadly is all screwy cuz of me being canadian and a permanent resident. I'm officially going to enjoy my weekend and have fun. I even painted my basement which is why I haven't been around so good times ! I don't have to look at wood panelling anymore so that's a relief.

He isn't thinking about divorce nor does he get the situation he put himself in I'm sure it will sink in eventually as long as I'm still getting paid I"m not going to bother thinking of anything else. I will call around again on monday but at this point I need a break. What's really unfair is he is living it up and I'm at home upset just like he wants me to be so no more. I'm going out for a night on the town with my ladies and I'm gonna tear it up lol !.

Once again thanks so much to all of you .

May 27, 2010#139

Cajungal

Good! You go enjoy yourself.

May 27, 2010#140

Null

Okay, but don't do anything that would give /him/ proof of adultery either. This guy sounds like he's all about turning things back around on you.

May 27, 2010#141

Cajungal

Yes, look but don't touch. :unibrow:

May 27, 2010#142

Wasabi Poptart

Just FYI - Monday is a holiday here in the US. If you call around, you're not going to get anyone.

May 28, 2010#143

Iaculus

Espy said:
While their stance is "hard" on adultery in the military, according to the E-6 wife it's almost "never" that it's enforced.

Should you be worried about this?

May 28, 2010#144

bhamv3

Iaculus;391159][QUOTE=Espy said:
While their stance is "hard" on adultery in the military, according to the E-6 wife it's almost "never" that it's enforced.

Should you be worried about this?

[/QUOTE]

Espy is, quite possibly, the best looking man on HF. I wouldn't be too worried if I was him.

May 28, 2010#145

Chibibar

Ft. Hood? I know some people who know some people (we have a partnership with them in the education area) one of my director knows tons of military people (high ranking one) I'll try to see if I can get some numbers/name for you.

May 28, 2010#146

Chibibar

Talk to another guy who have dealings with Ft. Hood. He told me that you should try to contact the Spouse center (I think that is what he called it) for his CO. Which usually run by the spouse. The CO (my co-worker was in the Army and served in Ft. Hood) should resolve or at least give you some information that you can work with. I don't have any direct numbers/contact at this time, but if the other guy (who is on vacation for memorial weekend) sends me anything, I'll PM you with it.

May 28, 2010#147

darkangel6988

Chibibar said:
Talk to another guy who have dealings with Ft. Hood. He told me that you should try to contact the Spouse center (I think that is what he called it) for his CO. Which usually run by the spouse. The CO (my co-worker was in the Army and served in Ft. Hood) should resolve or at least give you some information that you can work with. I don't have any direct numbers/contact at this time, but if the other guy (who is on vacation for memorial weekend) sends me anything, I'll PM you with it.

Sounds good and thanks so much

As for me committing adultery no worries I'm not trash I may be mad and highly tempted but I'm faithful even if he isn't I have class and can wait till I'm 100% single. THat is something I am proud of. He may not cherish this marriage but I made a vow in front of god and I won't go against what i said no matter what !

Just gonna go out and see what the world has to offer since I haven't seen it in about 4.5 years !

May 28, 2010#148

Wasabi Poptart

Not only that, hon, but you are better than he is and worth more than a cheap fling out of revenge.

May 28, 2010#149

Jay

Cheat on him.... with this!

Fuck yeaaaaa, let's rip that shit up Shaaawnnnaa,

May 29, 2010#150

darkangel6988

Jay said:
Cheat on him.... with this!

Fuck yeaaaaa, let's rip that shit up Shaaawnnnaa,

Oh god I cannot eat that anymore lol .......It looks good but I just can't worked to hard to have me eating that lol !

May 29, 2010#151

Jay

But the tzaziki... mmm

May 29, 2010#152

Officer_Charon

Is.... is that a gyro, wrapped in deli meat, with extra veggies and a large slab of cream cheese?!

May 29, 2010#153

Chibibar

Officer_Charon said:
Is.... is that a gyro, wrapped in deli meat, with extra veggies and a large slab of cream cheese?!

looks awesome doesn't it?

May 29, 2010#154

Officer_Charon

Dude, the words "DO WANT" are crying to be let free from behind my lips, but seeing as how I went COMPLETELY off-diet last night (took my wife out to a seafood restaurant last night, and gorged on crab dip. Justified it by ordering the salmon *chuckles*), I probably can't touch that for another couple weeks. *whimpers*

May 29, 2010#155

Jay

It's actually Feta Cheese. The salad gets even better once they put some "secret sauce" on it.

May 31, 2010#156

darkangel6988

Not much to add for today but that all this is beginning to sink in and it doesnt feel too good!

May 31, 2010#157

Cobra Star

It doesn't ever "feel good". I'm 8 months into being single and I still have moments when things remind me of my ex. I simply focus on the things at hand (school, work, games, family) and move about my day. It doesn't ever fully go away, you simply realize that over time it matters less and less.

May 31, 2010#158

darkangel6988

Cobra Star said:
It doesn't ever "feel good". I'm 8 months into being single and I still have moments when things remind me of my ex. I simply focus on the things at hand (school, work, games, family) and move about my day. It doesn't ever fully go away, you simply realize that over time it matters less and less.

Thanks I sure hope so !

Jun 1, 2010#159

Ross

darkangel6988;392292][QUOTE=Cobra Star said:
It doesn't ever "feel good". I'm 8 months into being single and I still have moments when things remind me of my ex. I simply focus on the things at hand (school, work, games, family) and move about my day. It doesn't ever fully go away, you simply realize that over time it matters less and less.

Thanks I sure hope so ![/QUOTE]
It's pretty much how it goes.

Jun 1, 2010#160

darkangel6988

Ross;392355][QUOTE=darkangel6988;392292][QUOTE=Cobra Star said:
It doesn't ever "feel good". I'm 8 months into being single and I still have moments when things remind me of my ex. I simply focus on the things at hand (school, work, games, family) and move about my day. It doesn't ever fully go away, you simply realize that over time it matters less and less.

Thanks I sure hope so ![/QUOTE]
It's pretty much how it goes.[/QUOTE]

I really wish it would hurry up and get done but I know it doesn't go like that. On the bright side pay day came I did as I said paid the bills and took my money. I called him left a message notifying him of this he called back and asked if i need anything more I said nope not till payday lol and so yeah things are quiet. He still hasn't filed I'm not sure what is wrong with this man to be very honest but Ive stopped thinking about it for now.

Went out saturday had a blast.....Wore a pretty dress and danced all nigth lol got home at 4 am and renovated my whole basement all weekend long. I restart insanity today so that will be done tomo I'll have completed 63 days which rocks ! And well yeah just been hanging in there.

One day at a time I guess. Sure wish it never happened to begin with but since it has I'm trying to stay focused and positive with some moments where i completely lose it but i smile most of the day so I suppose that's good.

Jun 1, 2010#161

Espy

Hang in their DA. Good work on staying busy, thats really important. Keep updating us here and let us know when you need something

Jun 1, 2010#162

Jay

Where did you go Saturday night?

Jun 1, 2010#163

darkangel6988

Jay said:
Where did you go Saturday night?

Club Nuvo it was interesting lol !

Jun 1, 2010#164

Necronic

Espy said:
Good work on staying busy, thats really important.

QFT

Jun 1, 2010#165

Hylian

I really hope things go smoothly (well as smoothly as possible) for you. And just remember we are always here if you need to vent/vedge/etc :hug:

Jun 1, 2010#166

IronBrig4

Necronic;392488][QUOTE=Espy said:
Good work on staying busy, thats really important.

QFT[/QUOTE]

Indeed. If you currently have a hobby, get to it.

Jun 1, 2010#167

Jay

Never been. What sorta of music?

Jun 6, 2010#168

darkangel6988

Hip hop and rap lol......

Sorry it's been awhile I went out again friday and I've been running around like a crazy person........I finished insanity my results are awesome and I sent in my pics for a free tshirt and I've been asked to do a testimonial for a chance to appear in the infomercial So i'm a lil fired up. My spirits are high and I'm rather happy I have down moments but for the most part I'm settling nicely with all this so far. I put my result pics on my blog if anyone cares to see www.sweetinsanity6988.wordpress.com yeah kinda odd since I'm like in a bikini flexing but its fitness lol ! So Now I'm off to start P90x Wish me luck

I'm so glad to have all of you from here YOu all rock. I'll update more after the insane P90x is done!

Jun 7, 2010#169

Ross

darkangel6988 said:
Hip hop and rap lol......

Sorry it's been awhile I went out again friday and I've been running around like a crazy person........I finished insanity my results are awesome and I sent in my pics for a free tshirt and I've been asked to do a testimonial for a chance to appear in the infomercial So i'm a lil fired up. My spirits are high and I'm rather happy I have down moments but for the most part I'm settling nicely with all this so far. I put my result pics on my blog if anyone cares to see www.sweetinsanity6988.wordpress.com yeah kinda odd since I'm like in a bikini flexing but its fitness lol ! So Now I'm off to start P90x Wish me luck

I'm so glad to have all of you from here YOu all rock. I'll update more after the insane P90x is done!

Very nice! It's gotta feel good to see those results. All the best on your continued regimen.

Jun 7, 2010#170

Calleja

I'll just say this after the pics:

hummina hummina hummina

Jun 7, 2010#171

Tinwhistler

such a big difference between day 1 and the last day! You didn't really lose that much weight and your inches lost was modest, but the difference in how you look is phenomenal. You really didn't need to lose a lot weight or size--your muscle tone at the end of the regimen is amazing, and makes all the difference in the world in how you look. Great job!

Jun 7, 2010#172

Cajungal

WOW! Well done, Darkangel. You look phenomenal! Actually, it looks like you could effectively kick your ex's ass now. :awesome:

Jun 7, 2010#173

Chazwozel

Jun 7, 2010#174

Jay

I'd tap that!

Jun 7, 2010#175

Gusto

Very nice!

Jun 7, 2010#176

Jay

Jun 9, 2010#177

darkangel6988

I'd tap that really lol ! that shit made me laugh so hard I nearly fell outta my chair....

Thanks yall for checking it out. I hope you'll continue to follow me I just started P90x and My beachbody coaching is booming....I am making a lil bit of money so this is always good. If you know anyone who needs beachbody products please send them to shop at www.beachbodycoach.com/sweetinsanity18 as it could really help me out

My other great news is that I submitted my before and after pics to the success story people for my free tshirt and yeah I have a chance to make it into the infomercial for Insanity so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

As for the divorce crap....it is what it is I haven't cried or stopped smiling in about i'd say a week and a half....In fact when he calls now to ask things about our banking situation I just laugh lol. He finally filed so now I wait a bit I'm still looking for some Legal help but I think this will go over smoothly and I'll get exactly what I deserve. So far so good anyway.

Thank you so much for all your nice words and for helping pick me up when I was down. I still have a long road ahead but the fact that this fitness ordeal is going fabulous It's really helping me stay positive.

I'll keep yall posted

Jun 9, 2010#178

Cajungal

I admire your attitude very much.

I'm truly sorry for all your hardships, but it's clear that you're going to be fine. I hope you get in the informercial!

Jun 16, 2010#179

darkangel6988

Well I got divorce papers.......Everyone is going smoothly so far. It's moving a lil to fast so we made an agreement to see if we can slow it down a bit to ensure I get my medicare card back here first before losing tricare.

I'm done fighting and well I'm happy for now I guess. I will admit when I received the papers I was upset and everything washed over me insanely quickly. I let it out picked myself up and now i'm back working out and just relaxing.

Have to take a break for living it up as I'm exhausted lol ! Anyhoo that's all I have for today just wanted to type in an update since I haven't been around a week or so. I stayed at a friends for a bit and it was a nice break

Hope all of you are well. And Thanks Cajun I'm trying to be very positive about all of it so I don't fall apart .

Jun 17, 2010#180

Cobra Star

Glad to hear things are smoothing out. Having small break-downs is still normal, staying strong more often than them is the key. Posting more helps too

Jun 17, 2010#181

Philosopher B.

Good to hear things are going decently at the moment. Also, what C-Stizzle said.

Jun 17, 2010#182

Calleja

Heyyy, I want a snoop doggish nickname too!

Jun 17, 2010#183

IronBrig4

I'm glad all is proceeding well. I know this has been a difficult time but you have handled it nicely.

Jun 17, 2010#184

The Lovely Boehner

Calleja said:
Heyyy, I want a snoop doggish nickname too!

C-Jizzle

Jun 22, 2010#185

darkangel6988

Well I`m back into my working out since Turbo fire just arrived so my crazy wild nights of partying are now officially on hold !!! I have to go sign the waiver of service today so that I don`t get served and have to go court. The divorce will be delayed so I have time to get my medicare back so Im thinking december this will all be over. He has agreed to delay everyone so he has to pay me longer so I can get all my cards back. I will lose my green card which upsets me quite a bit considering I`ve been working for beachbody and selling their products so I`ll lose that which sucks!!!....

Anyhow I`ll start posting more I just haven`t been home in fact Im not even at home no and its 7 am lol ! Anyways all is well crying has stopped and I`m at peace with this and actually e ohappy to be single and I don`t know what this new reputation thing is so if someone could explain this new feature to me i`d appreciate it. Also on the reputation someone asked to tap my ass just once lol I don`t know who wrote it but yeah NO you can`t lol . Well I`ll sign back in at home it`s hard to type on this damn Laptop.

Jun 22, 2010#186

Shegokigo

darkangel6988 said:
Also on the reputation someone asked to tap my ass just once

:sneaky:

Jun 22, 2010#187

Jay

darkangel6988 said:
Also on the reputation someone asked to tap my ass just once lol I don`t know who wrote it but yeah NO you can`t lol

You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!

Jun 22, 2010#188

darkangel6988

LMAO ! that's all I have to say about that.

Jun 22, 2010#189

bhamv3

Jay;403283][QUOTE=darkangel6988 said:
Also on the reputation someone asked to tap my ass just once lol I don`t know who wrote it but yeah NO you can`t lol

You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night![/QUOTE]

I am totally stealing this line.

Jun 22, 2010#190

Jay

darkangel6988 said:
LMAO ! that's all I have to say about that.

You remind me of a parking ticket. You got fine written all over you.

Jun 22, 2010#191

darkangel6988

Oh that's smooth right there lol !

Jun 22, 2010#192

General Specific

Somebody call Heaven! I think they're missing an angel. :smug:

Jun 22, 2010#193

HCGLNS

"Hello, I'm incredibly wealthy."

Jun 22, 2010#194

Jay

darkangel6988 said:
Oh that's smooth right there lol !

If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

Jun 22, 2010#195

Cajungal

Whew, it's gettin kinda cheesy up in here.

Jun 22, 2010#196

Cheesy1

Someone call?

Jun 22, 2010#197

Cajungal

HAHAH! It worked!

Jun 22, 2010#198

ElJuski

Call me Alf and let me eat your--

wait, I already used that on Droll...

Jun 22, 2010#199

Dave

If I told you you had a nice body would you hold it against my brother? That's what my first wife did.

The whore.

So we gonna screw or what?

Jun 22, 2010#200

Chibibar

You do have a nice body. I show it to my wife and she said, "wow she is hot, I'll tap that"

Jun 22, 2010#201

Gusto

Jay, HC, use the pickup line I taught you!

Jun 22, 2010#202

ElJuski

Congrats, DA, you have the internet fapping in your direction. You'll get used to it; I've since learned to dealing with people masturbating to me.

Jun 22, 2010#203

Null

Classy, Juicebox, real classy.

Jun 22, 2010#204

ThatGrinningIdiot!

I'm sure he's just joking around, right? RIGHT?!

Jun 22, 2010#205

Hailey Knight

ThatGrinningIdiot! said:
I'm sure he's just joking around, right? RIGHT?!

Right. He's not used to it yet.

Jun 22, 2010#206

Gusto

Gilman Chatsworth said:
Congrats, DA, you have the internet fapping in your direction. You'll get used to it; I've since learned to dealing with people masturbating to me.

Lllllllllllllllllllllllladies. :smug:

Jun 22, 2010#207

Jay

Ignore the posts of these zeros and come home with this hero.

Jun 22, 2010#208

Hailey Knight

Gusto said:
Jay, HC, use the pickup line I taught you!

Oh, that one. You mean, "Hi, I'm Kevin Miller"?

Jun 22, 2010#209

ElJuski

I sent her a sweeter PM anyway. She really does look great, and I'm sure we wish all the best for her. I just didn't want to come across as DERPADERRR NOM NOM NOM NOM.

Uhh, but then again, the avatar. Hrm.

---------- Post added at 04:12 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:04 AM ----------

Gusto;403674][QUOTE=Gilman Chatsworth said:
Congrats, DA, you have the internet fapping in your direction. You'll get used to it; I've since learned to dealing with people masturbating to me.

Lllllllllllllllllllllllladies. :smug:[/QUOTE]

BOOSH

Jun 22, 2010#210

Wasabi Poptart

Gilman Chatsworth said:
Congrats, DA, you have the internet fapping in your direction. You'll get used to it; I've since learned to dealing with people masturbating to me.

That last bit there. For some reason I read it as "people masturbating with me". Egads.

Jun 22, 2010#211

ElJuski

Ewwwwwwww www

Jun 23, 2010#212

darkangel6988

Thank you all for being so kind lol

Even if it was in a totally creepy way !
I so have this urge to join singles sites and be around men but I'm not allowed dammit or am I what is the law on this cuz i'm so ready to date lol ! Just saying !

Jun 23, 2010#213

Cajungal

Gusto;403674][QUOTE=Gilman Chatsworth said:
Congrats, DA, you have the internet fapping in your direction. You'll get used to it; I've since learned to dealing with people masturbating to me.

Lllllllllllllllllllllllladies. :smug:[/QUOTE]

omgswoon

Jun 23, 2010#214

darkangel6988

I swooned too slightly lol

Jun 23, 2010#215

The Lovely Boehner

You should probably not start dating just in case this gets really ugly. I don't think you want to let him get the upper hand.

Jun 23, 2010#216

HCGLNS

darkangel6988 said:
I swooned too slightly lol

[old man serious]

I think you and Gusto would make a darling couple.

[/old man serious]

Jun 23, 2010#217

Gusto

*goes digging for an old but appropriate photo*

Jun 23, 2010#218

darkangel6988

I agree but he's taken

Nice flowers though Gusto I swooned again !

Jun 23, 2010#219

Cajungal

Gusto's wooing her brains out.

Jun 23, 2010#220

darkangel6988

Oh and no way this is getting ulgy I have cheating proof and well I have divorce papers so there fore all I have to do is sign em and then hey well fuck it lol ! I read online that im allowed to date but im not allowed to stay in a hotel room lol ! LIKE SHIT ! go steal my fun and all !

Jun 23, 2010#221

Gusto

I'm single these days, and I drunkenly pulled an entire flower plant out of a public garden while walknig ome from the bar back in '07.

Jun 23, 2010#222

Cajungal

In the name of love and booze!

Jun 23, 2010#223

Gusto

Plus it's another photo that shows off just how huge my hands are. I hate that photo so much but it's also really funny.

Jun 23, 2010#224

Cajungal

Oh yeah, huge hands, you know what that means... :unibrow:

He spends a lotta money on custom made gloves. Awwww yeah.

Jun 23, 2010#225

darkangel6988

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOL !

Jun 23, 2010#226

Gusto

...
:sneaky:

Jun 23, 2010#227

Shegokigo

Damn Jay, beaten out by Gusto? You're bad at this. :slywink:

Jun 23, 2010#228

Cajungal

Jay doesn't have a winglady. :yo:

Jun 23, 2010#229

Gusto

Shegokigo said:
Damn Jay, beaten out by Gusto? You're bad at this. :slywink:

out:

Jun 23, 2010#230

HCGLNS

Shegokigo said:
Damn Jay, beaten out by Gusto? You're bad at this. :slywink:

Not surprising at all really, Gusto isn't cowering under the dinner table waiting for the aftershock. He's out there fighting for love! With his manly hands!

Jun 23, 2010#231

Gusto

HCGLNS;404382][QUOTE=Shegokigo said:
Damn Jay, beaten out by Gusto? You're bad at this. :slywink:

Not surprising at all really, Gusto isn't cowering under the dinner table waiting for the aftershock. He's out there fighting for love! With his manly hands![/QUOTE]

Word.

Jun 23, 2010#232

Cajungal

*leans in* Hey darkangel... my boy gusto can palm a watermelon. *hands her a cosmo* That's from the man himself. Drink it in as you drink in his majesty.

...too much?

Jun 23, 2010#233

darkangel6988

HAHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHA I can't handle all this its too much I must go to Waterloo lol Its not far Gusto ! Hahahaha!

Jun 23, 2010#234

Null

Oh, that's right. Gusto has those spidery-huge hands. Mine are the canned-ham variety.

Jun 23, 2010#235

Gusto

!!!

Do it!

I'ma buy yoo a drank.

Jun 23, 2010#236

darkangel6988

I think this thread has become Let's hook Darkangel Up rather Then GIVE ME SOME SUPPORT.........I no longer need support I just need a damn date lol !

Jun 23, 2010#237

Gusto

Well you know where to find me.

:smug:

And if you do come to Waterloo to visit me I'm going to send Seej a cash prize.

Jun 23, 2010#238

Cajungal

Sweet! I can buy Mass Effect!

Ya know, DA, if gusto's as fun a drinking buddy in person as he is on AIM watching a Disney movie in sync, it would be a hell of a time.

Jun 23, 2010#239

Gusto

S'true. You can do a lot worse than watching Beauty and the Beast with me.

Jun 23, 2010#240

Jay

Shegokigo said:
Damn Jay, beaten out by Gusto? You're bad at this. :slywink:

Beaten? Woman, I have tasted every continent this beautiful planet has to offer. I can put my balls anywhere I want to. Heck, I’ll make it rain out here if I apply myself. All she's gotta do is get in a car and drive herself to my love cave. She knows that.

But Gusto... poor Gusto! Have you seen his effort to bed this sexy beast? Shawna's a mighty fan catch, woman. And look at Gusto's plight. It pains me to break his hope so. He and I are brothers of another mother. What does it cost to me to let him taste the honey suckle this one rare time? But will he tame this wild mare? She's been in the kennel for far too long and will need to be broken right. He better have his stirrups ready. If he falls off though, The Jay will make sure to visit Greenfield Park sometime soon. HC, that's where the aftershock will be happenin'

:sneaky:

Jun 23, 2010#241

Dream Goddess

HCGLNS;404382][QUOTE=Shegokigo said:
Damn Jay, beaten out by Gusto? You're bad at this. :slywink:

Not surprising at all really, Gusto isn't cowering under the dinner table waiting for the aftershock. He's out there fighting for love! With his manly hands![/QUOTE]

His hands are...something alright.

Jun 23, 2010#242

Gusto

...

Jun 23, 2010#243

Jay

Darryl, we got a problem here.

Jun 23, 2010#244

Gusto

Mannnnn what is happening here.

What is this I don't even

Jun 23, 2010#245

Cajungal

Jay;404425][QUOTE=Shegokigo said:
Damn Jay, beaten out by Gusto? You're bad at this. :slywink:

Jun 23, 2010#246

Chibibar

darkangel6988 said:
I think this thread has become Let's hook Darkangel Up rather Then GIVE ME SOME SUPPORT.........I no longer need support I just need a damn date lol !

Heh. A date I can provide

(if you are in Texas) other stuff.. I would need proper clearance ^_~

Jun 23, 2010#247

HCGLNS

Gusto
-single
-large hands
-not fugly

Jay
-engaged
-french tongue
-neighbourly

Based on the above evidence, it's clear that Gusto is the better choice. Also I want Grandkids, so Gusto get to wooing.

Jun 23, 2010#248

Jay

Cajungal said:
See all this chitter chatter here, ladies? In the time it took Jay to type this, Gusto can thrice climax a lady.

Jun 23, 2010#249

Cajungal

Jay;404462][QUOTE=Cajungal said:
See all this chitter chatter here, ladies? In the time it took Jay to type this, Gusto can thrice climax a lady.

Three times? My GAWD, what a waste of time. Sex is like a restaurant, sometimes you get good service, sometimes you get bad service and many times you have to be satisfied with self service after I'm "done".[/QUOTE]

Gusto also doesn't bore women with silly analogies.

Jun 23, 2010#250

darkangel6988

GUSTO YOUR SINGLE OMG !!!!!!!!!!! Wait since yall hate it so much when i say this once more for the fact that hottie gusto is single OOOOOOOOOOOOOO MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG i need to steal a car lol ! Ok off to the bar now for an hour be back in a bit . Thanks for giving me a good laugh yall you rock !

Jun 23, 2010#251

Jay

Cajungal said:
Gusto also doesn't bore women with silly analogies.

Gusto also doesn't fight his own battles.

Gusto has one thing going for him though, he knows all about the "Yankee"

Jun 23, 2010#252

Gusto

Yes.

Jun 23, 2010#253

Cajungal

Aaaaaaaaaand SCENE. Great work, everybody. Wrap party?

Jun 23, 2010#254

Chibibar

Cajungal said:
Aaaaaaaaaand SCENE. Great work, everybody. Wrap party?

Great job everyone. Bar's cookies all around!

Jun 23, 2010#255

Null

Muffins are in the green room.

Jun 23, 2010#256

Hailey Knight

Jay, you're so cheesy.

Jun 23, 2010#257

HCGLNS

I now declare OMG to stand for

"Oooh!

My!

Gustoooooo!!!!"

Jun 23, 2010#258

Cajungal

Jay said:
Gusto also doesn't fight his own battles.

He's too busy pleasing women.

:awesome:

oknowi'mdone

Jun 23, 2010#259

Gusto

Jun 23, 2010#260

Dream Goddess

Cajungal;404464][QUOTE=Jay;404462][QUOTE=Cajungal said:
See all this chitter chatter here, ladies? In the time it took Jay to type this, Gusto can thrice climax a lady.

Jun 23, 2010#261

Jay

Jun 23, 2010#262

Cajungal

:laugh:

Jun 23, 2010#263

Null

escushion said:
Jay, you're so cheesy.

No, Cheesy's a nice guy. Jay's from Montreal.

Jun 23, 2010#264

General Specific

Cajungal;404453][QUOTE=Jay;404425][QUOTE=Shegokigo said:
Damn Jay, beaten out by Gusto? You're bad at this. :slywink:

Jun 23, 2010#265

Jay

Jun 23, 2010#266

Cheesy1

Null;404492][QUOTE=escushion said:
Jay, you're so cheesy.

No, Cheesy's a nice guy. Jay's from Montreal.[/QUOTE]

Word.

Jun 23, 2010#267

Cajungal

General Specific said:
Best wingman ever.

Is there a trophy for that? I never get trophies.

Jun 23, 2010#268

ElJuski

>: [ at the expense of sounding like Calleja......I feel left out.

---------- Post added at 12:50 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:49 AM ----------

...of the sex stuff

---------- Post added at 12:52 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:50 AM ----------

I'm talking about getting one's bone on up in this biz.

Jun 23, 2010#269

General Specific

Cajungal;404503][QUOTE=General Specific said:
Best wingman ever.

Is there a trophy for that? I never get trophies.

[/QUOTE]

Congrats, Seej!

Jun 23, 2010#270

Null

No Trophy, but would 1000 of Gen's former Halbucks be alright?

Jun 23, 2010#271

Hailey Knight

Jay said:

Babies!

Jun 23, 2010#272

Cajungal

YAY A TROPHY!

And no thank you... I don't really use the bucks. You can keep them, you thief you. ;P

Jun 23, 2010#273

Cheesy1

Cajungal;404503][QUOTE=General Specific said:
Best wingman ever.

Is there a trophy for that? I never get trophies.

[/QUOTE]

They apparently do have an award for that:

Jun 23, 2010#274

General Specific

Cajungal said:
YAY A TROPHY!

And no thank you... I don't really use the bucks. You can keep them, you thief you. ;P

He didn't steal them, won them by guessing the number I was thinking. So all's good in da hood, yo.

Jun 23, 2010#275

Jay

Jun 23, 2010#276

Cajungal

General Specific;404519][QUOTE=Cajungal said:
YAY A TROPHY!

And no thank you... I don't really use the bucks. You can keep them, you thief you. ;P

He didn't steal them, won them by guessing the number I was thinking. So all's good in da hood, yo.[/QUOTE]

Oh, that finally happened? Well, thank God.

Jay, that's awesome. :hug:

Jun 23, 2010#277

Calleja

.....I feel left out

Jun 23, 2010#278

ElJuski

HA CALLED IT!

Jun 24, 2010#279

Calleja

Shut it, lady!!

Oh.. wait... you're a guy!?

Man, I'm sorry but.... dude looks like a lady.

(missed that didn't ya? :awesome:

)

Jun 24, 2010#280

Element 117

This thread is like a little kid who just found the helium bottles.

Jun 24, 2010#281

Calleja

hilarious?

and squeaky?

Jun 24, 2010#282

darkangel6988

Man I obviously Missed alot while Kareoking at some local stupid bar ! God local bars suck Next time I try to go to one please stop me. I had to see everyone and their damn mom there and I had the beauty of explaining why I'm in canada atleast 900 times. It was a long night I gained probably about 8 pounds from all the damn beer being bought for me I walked home in the pouring rain and I had 3 hours of sleep !

So much for me taking myself out lol ! From now on I sit here on the computer and sleep and workout this way I avoid moments like this! I also woke up and have a hard time swallowing my throat hurts dang it!

Glad yall had fun though on here trading trophies and all that stuff ! Sad I missed it I did try to check halforums on my phone but let's be real I could Barely see it on there to type back !

Jun 25, 2010#283

General Specific

Calleja said:
hilarious?

and squeaky?

Jun 26, 2010#284

rac3r_x

General Specific;405197][QUOTE=Calleja said:
hilarious?

and squeaky?

[/QUOTE]

Somehow Ted's line seems more appropriate to this whole thread, "Girlfriend's gonna get paaaaid!" Ted's awesome

Jun 29, 2010#285

darkangel6988

Hey All

So a lil update .......I'm having a bad night...I suppose one bad night in all the day i've gone through is ok...I feel like breaking down and just sobbing and I can't figure out why because I don't want him to come back....

I just feel alone. I want this done but its such a shitty lonely feeling...On a happier note things are going smoothly no drama to report just had to share this lol . That's all I'm off to mope for tonight i guess.

Jun 29, 2010#286

Azurephoenix

It's normal... don't worry. You may feel like that every once in a while for a good time yet.... but it will get better with time. Take care of yourself and you can always vent here where we will give you all kinds of wacky responses

Jun 29, 2010#287

darkangel6988

I really wish it would go away.... I don't feel like feeling it ....It hurts to much.

Jun 29, 2010#288

Azurephoenix

I can only imagine how you must feel... though I haven't experienced your exact scenario I did have to call off a long term relationship (5 years) only three months away from our planned wedding. The loneliness is horrible at first but it really does get better. Try to surround yourself with friends and family, pursue your hobbies, work out and do all the things that you love to do.

Jun 29, 2010#289

Cajungal

Aw, sorry, DarkAngel. It doesn't really matter that you don't want him back... it's an adjustment. But you'll have better days, I promise.

Jun 29, 2010#290

Wasabi Poptart

darkangel6988 said:
Hey All

So a lil update .......I'm having a bad night...I suppose one bad night in all the day i've gone through is ok...I feel like breaking down and just sobbing and I can't figure out why because I don't want him to come back....

I just feel alone. I want this done but its such a shitty lonely feeling...On a happier note things are going smoothly no drama to report just had to share this lol . That's all I'm off to mope for tonight i guess.

You don't have to want him back to feel sad or angry about your situation. The whole thing is a mental process of grieving much like when someone you are close to dies. You go through similar steps. It will get easier with time. Sorry you're having a rough night. Better days are ahead.

Jun 29, 2010#291

darkangel6988

Thanks yall I'm going to go to bed and hope tomo doesn't hurt...Then again I'm proud cuz I haven't hurt much since it happened so it's bound to hurt a tiny bit now . Atleast i've been tough thru most of it.!

Jun 29, 2010#292

Officer_Charon

Being tough doesn't mean not feeling anything.... it just means you're able to pick yourself back up when you fall down.

Fight through the bad times, and you'll see that the good times come that much more often. You sound as though you have a solid meatspace support structure, and you already know that you have a large group of friends here.

You'll be fine, la belle. You'll be just fine.

Jun 30, 2010#293

ElJuski

Girl, it just sounds like we need to do some karaoke together.

Jun 30, 2010#294

darkangel6988

Gilman Chatsworth said:
Girl, it just sounds like we need to do some karaoke together.

Not a chance my friend Not a chance...I'll be your back up dancer lol !

---------- Post added at 10:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:59 AM ----------

Officer_Charon said:
Being tough doesn't mean not feeling anything.... it just means you're able to pick yourself back up when you fall down.

Fight through the bad times, and you'll see that the good times come that much more often. You sound as though you have a solid meatspace support structure, and you already know that you have a large group of friends here.

You'll be fine, la belle. You'll be just fine.

Thanks Officer Hotness lol .
I'm ok I don't even know why I keep crying cause it certaintly isn't because I miss him because I don't....I just want to cry all day long I'm sure it will pass but it's freaking annoying it's ruining my positive vibes. Your right though I got alot of support ...I'm definitly blessed with plenty of love from friends online and offline.

Jun 30, 2010#295

Piotyr

HCGLNS said:
I now declare OMG to stand for

"Oooh!

My!

Gustoooooo!!!!"

Oye Mi Gusto!

Jun 30, 2010#296

ElJuski

darkangel6988;407497][QUOTE=Gilman Chatsworth said:
Girl, it just sounds like we need to do some karaoke together.

Not a chance my friend Not a chance...I'll be your back up dancer lol !
[/QUOTE]

I am soooo okay with this.

Jun 30, 2010#297

darkangel6988

Gilman Chatsworth;407547][QUOTE=darkangel6988;407497][QUOTE=Gilman Chatsworth said:
Girl, it just sounds like we need to do some karaoke together.

Not a chance my friend Not a chance...I'll be your back up dancer lol !
[/QUOTE]

I am soooo okay with this.[/QUOTE]

I bet ya are lol !

Jun 30, 2010#298

IronBrig4

You've been holding onto a lot of pent-up stress over the past few weeks. Crying is the body's way of releasing it. It's perfectly natural. You'll be fine. ^_^

Jun 30, 2010#299

ElJuski

darkangel6988;407561][QUOTE=Gilman Chatsworth;407547][QUOTE=darkangel6988;407497][QUOTE=Gilman Chatsworth said:
Girl, it just sounds like we need to do some karaoke together.

Not a chance my friend Not a chance...I'll be your back up dancer lol !
[/QUOTE]

I am soooo okay with this.[/QUOTE]

I bet ya are lol ![/QUOTE]

BOOSH!

Jun 30, 2010#300

darkangel6988

LOL ..........So from reading on here Starbucks is the place to pick up ..........So whose coming to Starbucks with me LOL !

Jun 30, 2010#301

Calleja

You REJECTED me, remember? :humph:

Jun 30, 2010#302

darkangel6988

I was married But now I am not lol well I am but fuck that noise I see divorce papers to my right on the desk .........It's all good LET'S HIT STARBUCKS LOL !

Jun 30, 2010#303

Calleja

Well... wanna vacation in Mexico? :biggrin:

Jun 30, 2010#304

darkangel6988

Calleja said:
Well... wanna vacation in Mexico? :biggrin:

So funny you say that because my facebook status last week said I WANNA GO TO MEXICO LOL ! Y

Jun 30, 2010#305

Calleja

Well come on over! I'll show you around, we'll make out a bit.. it'll be awesome!

Jun 30, 2010#306

darkangel6988

Sweet I'm in

~ Give me a couple months and let the husband pay me I'll save his money and fly out lol ! HAHAHAHAHA!

Jun 30, 2010#307

ElJuski

I THINK THE LADY WANTS TO GO TO CHICAGO FIRST, MEX >: |

*pouts*

Jun 30, 2010#308

Calleja

SHUT UP YOU ALREADY BEAT ME TO DROLL, I GET DA!

Jun 30, 2010#309

ElJuski

Muahahahahahaha

Jun 30, 2010#310

ElJuski

haha I just got neg repped for this conversation

Jun 30, 2010#311

Officer_Charon

Hey, nothing saying she can't do a tour through the states on her way down to Mexico...

Jun 30, 2010#312

Cheesy1

Will you be ready when the Dark Angel "Freedom Tour" comes rolling through YOUR city?!

Jun 30, 2010#313

Officer_Charon

Dude, look what I do for a living.

I've got ALL the fun toys on standby :sneaky:

Jul 1, 2010#314

Shegokigo

Officer_Charon said:
Dude, look what I do for a living.

I've got ALL the fun toys on standby :sneaky:

Just noticed the new user title, figured I'd give you a better avatar to go with it:

Jul 1, 2010#315

Chibibar

DA: if you just wanna come to Texas come on over

my wife and I would love you have ya. I'll cook! and we can hit a couple of the club scene

Jul 1, 2010#316

Krisken

Shegokigo;408266][QUOTE=Officer_Charon said:
Dude, look what I do for a living.

I've got ALL the fun toys on standby :sneaky:

Just noticed the new user title, figured I'd give you a better avatar to go with it:

[/QUOTE]
Damn it, I snorted when I saw this.

Jul 1, 2010#317

Calleja

You fucking junkie.

Jul 2, 2010#318

Ross

*peeks into thread*

lolwut?

*strolls away, with a quizzical look on his face*

Jul 2, 2010#319

Officer_Charon

Shegokigo;408266][QUOTE=Officer_Charon said:
Dude, look what I do for a living.

I've got ALL the fun toys on standby :sneaky:

Just noticed the new user title, figured I'd give you a better avatar to go with it:

[/QUOTE]

Appreciate the re-do.... I don't know who gave me that title, but it's interesting to see what came out of it. *grins*

Jul 3, 2010#320

darkangel6988

Ok update.........

Stupid man I married was going to come get his stuff today....I knew i'd cancel but figured it would be great to wait till last minute to do so....... So i called last night and said sorry u'll have to wait IM" GOING CAMPING LOL !

Ok I thought that was funny cause he did get a lil sad about it lol .......Which just made it that much more fun for me...So yeah I'm going camping tonight and I had a fabulous Canada Day I'm on a roll .........HOpe you all have a safe and beautiful 4th of July

Jul 4, 2010#321

IronBrig4

I agree. Try to have a friend visit your house at least once a day to get the mail. That might stop any unwelcome guests.

Jul 7, 2010#322

Adammon

Just rollin' in to say it does get better. And you have to do what's right for you.

And as inane as it is to say - you do grow as a person, becoming stronger, recognizing your internal strengths and passion, maybe even discovering a you that you didn't know existed.

I wrote a lot. That continues to help.

Jul 7, 2010#323

Cajungal

Hey, it's Adammon! Hi!

Jul 19, 2010#324

darkangel6988

I completely agree with you Adammon....

Just popping in since it's been like 2 weeks to let Y'all know that I'm almost done YAYYYYYYYYY ME ! I go on wednesday to New York to get all the household items...Yep all of em he is deploying and doesnt care so it's all mine !

I've been going out constantly meeting new exciting and very fascinating people lol ....I'm happier then ever and I think I've found a me that I didn't know existed...I hope your all doing well. This is probably the best summer I've ever had ironically !

Sure have missed you guys...I'll try to pop in a bit more and check to see what's going on !

Jul 19, 2010#325

Chibibar

darkangel6988 said:
I completely agree with you Adammon....

Just popping in since it's been like 2 weeks to let Y'all know that I'm almost done YAYYYYYYYYY ME ! I go on wednesday to New York to get all the household items...Yep all of em he is deploying and doesnt care so it's all mine !

I've been going out constantly meeting new exciting and very fascinating people lol ....I'm happier then ever and I think I've found a me that I didn't know existed...I hope your all doing well. This is probably the best summer I've ever had ironically !

Sure have missed you guys...I'll try to pop in a bit more and check to see what's going on !

yay! good for you girl

Jul 19, 2010#326

Jay

I have to admit, this year's summer has been kicking my ass. This is great local weather.

Tanned for free, who would have thought it!

Jul 19, 2010#327

Cajungal

Jay said:
I have to admit, this year's summer has been kicking my ass. This is great local weather.

Tanned for free, who would have thought it!

Wait... tanning without lying in a glowing coffin or getting sprayed with stuff?

I don't get it.

Jul 19, 2010#328

Gusto

I got me some excellent tan.

Jul 26, 2010#329

darkangel6988

I got me an awesome tan too lol ! Freaking summer rocks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANyway update so I faced the man I married....I drove to new york with my best friend spent 2 days at his house unpacking and repacking boxes....I decided that I would just say fuck it and take it all so i did ....Somehow I even won the car too so Id say I did pretty good. I drove all my stuff back to Montreal and it is in storage with UHAUL sooooooooo I'd say this is almost done ! I feel fabulous ! Thank you all for being there it really helped me out in the beginning when things felt hopeless. Next up for me is FIND A JOB !!!!!!!!! wish me luck lol !

Whats new with everyone here?

Jul 26, 2010#330

ElJuski

You didn't come visit me when you were in the states? *sad puppy dog face*

Jul 26, 2010#331

Ross

Are you staying up in Canadaland or are you moving back to the States? Forgive me if that's been answered already... I'm feeling a little lazy today.

Jul 27, 2010#332

darkangel6988

Ross said:
Are you staying up in Canadaland or are you moving back to the States? Forgive me if that's been answered already... I'm feeling a little lazy today.

I gave back my green card and will stay in Canada......I have one year to contest my visa if I want to go back to the US but I'm thinking I'm better off here

---------- Post added at 07:18 AM ---------- Previous post was at 07:17 AM ----------

Gilman Chatsworth said:
You didn't come visit me when you were in the states? *sad puppy dog face*

Was not aware you lived in New York lol ! and if you don't well that's the only state i passed into hehe.

Jul 27, 2010#333

ElJuski

New York, Illinois, they're right next to each other.

Uhhuh.

---------- Post added at 02:21 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:21 PM ----------

Jul 27, 2010#334

Jay

What sort of job are you looking for?

Jul 27, 2010#335

Jiarn

Do not mean to hijack but I decided to start P90X myself. I keep in decent shape, I'm not overweight, I fit into my ideal weight class for my height but I'm looking to tone.

Seeing this thread and talking to a friend, who lent me the dvds, I have seen the results enough to believe in it. My question is thus:

What should I get, for sure, to do this program?

I know a pull-up bar for sure, and some free weights but not sure how many and what sizes. They say a yoga mat + a few other things but I'm curious what exactly I need.

I will be following my own diet plan but don't really use supplements, so I'm not sure which are good and which would be a rip-off.

Thanks for the upcoming advice and sorry for hijacking.

Jul 28, 2010#336

darkangel6988

Jiarn said:
Do not mean to hijack but I decided to start P90X myself. I keep in decent shape, I'm not overweight, I fit into my ideal weight class for my height but I'm looking to tone.

Seeing this thread and talking to a friend, who lent me the dvds, I have seen the results enough to believe in it. My question is thus:

What should I get, for sure, to do this program?

I know a pull-up bar for sure, and some free weights but not sure how many and what sizes. They say a yoga mat + a few other things but I'm curious what exactly I need.

I will be following my own diet plan but don't really use supplements, so I'm not sure which are good and which would be a rip-off.

Thanks for the upcoming advice and sorry for hijacking.

Hey No problem

If you are not able to use a pull up bar in your home then you would need the bands .......The bands are able to simulate pull ups and chin ups if they are attached to something above your head. Since I'm small the weights I have are 5,8,10 and 12 So you wanna get a couple that are easy and some that are harder ....I don't know what you can lift but you'd probably be somewhere between 15-45 pounds .......

You absolutely need something for pull ups as you mentionned as most arm chest back dvd's are all based around that. A great supplement that I use is the P90x Results and Recovery drink sold from beachbody it helps refuel you after your workout and heals sore tired muscles . There is also a bit of creatine in it. If your looking for massive bulk I would ask at your Local GNC what they recommend as for protein I use Gold Standard Whey and I find it to be very helpful and rather tasty . I have a beachbody website if you wanna check it out ......If your not into shopping online Walmart carries most equipment needed. Here is my website

www.beachbodycoach.com/sweetinsanity18 ...

Hit me up by email if you need anything I'd be glad to help

Good luck on your P90x Journey I absolutely love it and would still be doing it if it wasn't for the release of Turbo Fire

---------- Post added at 08:18 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:16 AM ----------

Jay said:
What sort of job are you looking for?

I am in no position to be picky I will take what I get and while I work I am going to take a course for fitness training and Nutrionalist. I wanna work later on with anything to do with fitness since i love it so much but to start once again bad situation going broke fast and have bills to pay for so I mean i'll take whatever !

Jul 28, 2010#337

Jay

How's your French?

Jul 28, 2010#338

darkangel6988

Jay said:
How's your French?

Um yeah

Not great but not horrible lol

Jul 29, 2010#339

Jay

Ben la ma chere, c'est une question importante. Ta quoi sur ton C.V comme expérience?

Jul 29, 2010#340

darkangel6988

Jay said:
Ben la ma chere, c'est une question importante. Ta quoi sur ton C.V comme expérience?

Je parle le francais Tabernac...Juste des fois je marrange pas tres bien tu comprends lol

I dont know a mixture of shit...Nothing ultra fabulous aside Hairdressing and Coordinator.

Jul 30, 2010#341

Jay

I know someone in the health industry, she's actually a Nutritionist I believe. I'll have a chat with her about any job availabilities that she may know of. No promises though.

Aug 1, 2010#342

darkangel6988

Jay said:
I know someone in the health industry, she's actually a Nutritionist I believe. I'll have a chat with her about any job availabilities that she may know of. No promises though.

Thanks I'd appreciate it

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