Thanks Jay I appreciate it very much .I'm sorry Shawna. You have my sympathies and my sincerest hope that better things will come your way. Dave's advice is solid.
Thank you for all the advice. And he's army. I'll go thru your list later on. But thanks againWell. I don't know what service he's in. As a Air Force Squadron Commander, I can tell you I had this happen to several of the enlisted folks in my sqaudron.
Sounds like he went overseas for 4 months and came back a different person, which can happen...but as a commander leads me to believe that something happened over there that shouldn't have.
Remember this is Air Force specific titles, but all Services have the same functions.
1. Contact the JAG. You will have a limited time to get on base before the divorce and you won't be able to afterwards. They can explain all of that
2. Contact the bases Family Readiness Center. They have seen this before and will have options for you to pursue.
3. Contact his squadron's First Sergeant. Two reasons. 1) The First Sergeant has all the contacts needed to help you get to the functions on base that can help you (like how long your insurance will last for example) 2) If he deployed and then came back and immediately did this...the commander NEEDS TO KNOW. My guess is he hasn't told his chain of command and rapid life changes like this are a sign of other issues that the commander needs to know...you might even eventually find out the WHY..if you care anymore.
4. I'm not sure of your US citizen status or how that would be affected..or your VISA status or anything like that.
Last but not least (especially if your soon to be ex is in the Air Force) if there is anything I can do on that front. Please don't hestitate to ask.
Damn.
Just remember to act on logic, and know that every action has a consequence. The worst thing you can do in this situation is do something that will end up putting you in a worse position than where you are now.
On that note, I'd take this new information to a lawyer ASAP, and also make sure that whatever information you use in court wasn't obtained illegally (for instance, don't use the e-mails as evidence unless you can prove you accessed it legally). I'm not sure if I'm talking out of my ass on that point, but I believe that what I said is factual.
WHERE IS YOUR LAWYER?!? GET ONE!
STOP READING NOW. GET A LAWYER ON THIS ASAP.
I CAN guarantee you that if you have proof, you soon-to-be ex is looking at an Letter of Reprimand, minimum...probably an Art 15 and loss of stripe..if not just General Discharge. You don't have to catch him in the damn act of putting it in to be convicted of adultary.
You can screw him to the wall in the military because of this...downside...he may get kicked out and that would affect the amount of alimony you could get paid. If the gal in the pictures is also in the military, then it truely is GAME OVER for him...assuming his commander has at least one bone of INTEGRITY in his body...and even if he doesn't someone in the chain of command will.
Have your lawyer contact the JAG if you want to head down that road...your lawyer will give you better advice on that.
On a personnal note. I'm sorry this has happened, no one deserves this. As a guy, I say nail his ass to the wall. As a commander, I want him out of my military...I can't stand the lack of fucking integrity.
Heh. It helps that we have a good mix of people here. We got artists, scientists, police officer, military vets, Air Force Colonel, computer geeks, and all kinds of skills and people who actually want to help each other and look out for each other I love this forum!This'll teach him to fuck with someone with nerd friends!